MY MIND PLAYING TRICKS: THINKING YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS YOU ARE

Man Wearing Gray Sweater in Selective Focus Photography

“Mind F**K.”


why i hurt

I come from work from my overnight shift and go to sleep because it is still in the early A.M. And when I wake up it is usually in the morning in as well. How do I get myself motivated when my mind is rattled about when and where to start my day. This is something that comes across my mind on a daily basis. You start to feel like your mind is trying to destroy you from progressing in life. And that is a tough thing because you need your mind to exist. And your mind will be the launching pad that will propel you into success. So when it goes so does the ability to succeed.

the mirror doesn’t lie, your mind does

You ever stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself with disdain? The look that you don’t like what you see and that you are never going to be better than where you are now. That feeling of image as you look in the mirror will eventually turn into your reality. And the mirror will give you a literal interpretation of what you think of yourself. Only the mirror is not a trick mirror. You will slowly turn into the person you thought you were prior to what you have become. Your own physical embodiment will shift and now you are that person you hate. Trust and believe I know what that feeling is about and have been in that place.

uncertainty and unknown

Walking into the land of who knows what is a scary place to be. Because now you are trying to maneuver in a place where you are foreign. You don’t speak the language of the land and any form of communication means nothing. And I walk through this land, not because of the city where I dwell, but life. And that is why I feel like the mind is playing tricks. What I wake up intending to do and what I actually do sometimes is different. It’s like I am in a fight with myself because I don’t ever think I look as good as I look. I don’t think I am as smart as I am. So there is this constant battle with self until I am successful at what I do in life.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

Twitter Me: @2320howe

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Author: faheemjackson44

I am from Racine, Wisconsin where I was raised until I graduated high school back in the year 2006. That entire time growing up in my mother's house, I was a student athlete. My goal was to embark on a general business career or athletics. But injuries through sports stopped a sports path, so I decided upon business with a focus in marketing. While attending undergraduate school at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, I began to write screenplays in my senior year. At first it was for fun, but I quickly learned writing allow me to transfer negative energy into characters I created. This led to a decrease in depressing mood swings, which in turn boosted my quality of life. After undergraduate school in May of 2011, I move to New York City for graduate school. While pursuing my MBA, I continued to write screenplays, but always wanted to write novels as well. I finished graduate school back in the year 2014, but wrote screenplays until I began thinking of my first short film, first First Day Fears. While finishing my fifth feature length screenplay, I started to write my first novel this year. So far, I have finished my first short film and working on my next one (Freedomless Speech), and recently self published my first novel (The Boy Who Could Talk To God) and short stories book (Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Volume 1). My feature length screenplays have been put on temporary hold to finish my short films and books, but I am making good progress on my sixth feature length screenplay. With year 2017 ending, I am currently writing my novel Precinct 86 and Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Vol. 2. I have started teaching myself photography and will pursuing that by summer of 2018, along with my videography, podcast later on, and more research for my documentary.

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