BLACK EXPECTATIONS: HOW LOW STANDARDS FOR BLACK MEN HAVE MADE ME PUSH BACK HARD

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“You’re supposed to fail!”


As a Black male in society, I have noticed something since I was a young boy. And that is that we are not only expected to fail, but almost encouraged to fail. And what it has done to me was turn me into an overachiever. Some might say, what is wrong with overachieving in society; well a lot. If you spend your time trying to be the best in your career pursuits, then where is the time for you to enjoy life around you. So what I have done in my 30 years so far on this Earth is utilize my time for not being what I am expected to be. Which is a baby daddy, I have no children; a criminal, I have no arrest record; a woman beater, I have never been in a relationship. What you’l wind-up doing is taking the odds against you to the extreme.

Well, if all is true, then what should be done by us as Black males. Should we disregard the stereotypes and live our lives? Or should we continue to forge ahead and fight for greatness. What’s scary is that once you die as a person, the only one that remembers you on a constant basis are those that love you most. People talk from time to time about the great things you have done, but does it matter. Does how much I work to combat stereotypes actually mean anything? Because what if 100 years from now, there is no disdain toward Black men, and what I have been living is something of the past? That would mean I gave up so much of my life for nothing. Instead, I could have been partying and enjoying every step of the way. But what about the flip side of things.

What if I continue on my path, and in time I do something great. Something so great that it completely alters the course of history forever. For example, what if Martin Luther King Jr. chose to be an academic instead of a Civil Rights leader. He might be some retired elderly man right now, still living in Atlanta, Georgia. Or what if Joan of Arc or William Wallace never stood up for what they believed; how would life have changed? So, in the end, there is something to me working and not enjoying in life. Maybe there is something that is indicative in me as a Black male that needs to be in society instead of out partying. I’m not saying that I am better or more special than the rest, but the ideas for society that I have make me realize that I am not supposed to fail. I am here for a reason, and that is to pass my gifts on to the world.


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A LEAGUE OF OUR OWN: SHOULD BLACK ATHLETES CREATE THEIR OWN LEAGUES FOR SPORTS

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“Taking a knee or taking your talents elsewhere?”


There has been yet another knee taken in an NFL opener, this time by Houston Texans players after team owner Robert C. McNair made a statement regarding players in the NFL protesting before the game. He stated that, We can’t let the inmates rule the prison.” A comment that he later apologized for, but the damage had already been done. His players, in a move of defiance, staged a protest against him for his comments. So with that said, What will it take before Black athletes go off and start their own league?” Are we close to seeing the Negro Leagues open up once again. The Negro Leagues for baseball when Black players could not play in the majors. But Black players are allowed in the majors, but with the social issues of America still looming, they are encouraged today not to be involved. With starting their own league, they wouldn’t have to deal with what comes with being in the NBA, NFL, or MLB from fans.

But my question is, is it really that detrimental at this stage? Or, are we more sensitive because there is more in mass media that is pumped to us. If we saw everything that took place during the Civil Rights Era, the fight might have been even worse as well. We see everything now; everything is on camera and everything is for mass consumption. So when you hear police shooting an unarmed Black male, you react quicker today than in the past. And since there is a news story everyday, it makes you paranoid with the police. So much so, a lot of these players are now in the fight. A move that has irritated the NFL’s predominantly White fan base. The Black players say why aren’t more White men and women angry regarding the recent protesting in favor of the Confederate flag and monuments in the Southern states. So now, you hear rumblings of starting a league for these players. But once again, is it that serious?

America has always had these social issues, especially the issues concerning racial tension. But people who are fans of sports show up to the games to escape the social and political issues that makeup America today. So to them, is it really necessary to create a whole other league because of the introduction of a few recent issues. Because in the past Black players had no other choice but to create a separate league. That’s like Black students stating that we will only attend HBCU (Historically Black Colleges and Universities) from here on out because other universities won’t acknowledge issues surrounding police brutality. In the end, these social issues aren’t slowing down. Not as long as this current White House Administration is in office. And for those reasons, it’s going to be a long 3 years.


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BLOGGING, VLOGGING, POSTING, AND MILESTONES: HOW TO INCREASE MY SOCIAL MEDIA AUDIENCE

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“Building my platform day by day.” 


Yesterday, I posted my 500th post for my WordPress account. And now my milestone stands at 500 posts; 7,748 views; and 1,893 visitors coming to the site. And that is just for my WordPress because I have had this account longer. As it pertains to my personal website on Square Space I have about 121 unique visitors, 193 visits, and 360 views; my new Medium account, I have 92 views, 65 reads, and 4 followers in the last 30 days; and my Facebook fan page with 188 people. So now, I am looking into the year 2018 to grow my platforms over social media. In addition to these sites that I have through blogging, I also have my Instagram and Twitter, with my podcast coming in 2018. I put myself on a time frame for growing my platforms and writing. My writing I said 10 ten years and my platforms I have put myself on a 5 year growth scale. But in real time, everything seems to be moving extremely slow. But I wonder what my social media will look like by my mid 30’s.

And that is a very important age range for me: 33 – 35 years of age. This is the age at which I want to be fully self employed and making moves with my name via social media for my blogs, filmmaking, as a novelist, and photographer. So basically, I will be conducting a lot of writing. I want to have a successful writing career by the time I turn 35 years of age. Let’s assume I pop by the time I turn 35 years old, then build through my 40’s and 50’s. That would mean that I have a good 20 plus years of enjoying my life, and beyond. But coming from this generation, generation Y, we are used to everything moving fast. The only thing that seems to stand still is our job growth and our intimate relationships. And with that, we spend a lot of time depressed because we were given a false illusion of society that does not exist.

The only reason why I don’t quite feel that way is because my mother told me that life was going to be a struggle. And building anything that grows to be great is going to take a lot of work and a lot of time. When we look back at the work we’ve done, then and only then can we say to ourselves, ok, this is how I got to this point. I have to continue to put the work into my projects. I always stay active posting videos on what I am working on currently and in the future via Instagram. Which automatically go to my personal website and Twitter. So I am always connected because of my social media platforms. Now the question remains: “Who am I going to try to connect to, to build my audience?” Because in the end, I will need to connect and network with people to build as well. People also connect to you once they see you creating something that provides them with value. And that value is what will ultimately put me over the top.


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DMV HORROR STORY: WHY I HATE CONDUCTING BUSINESS AS A MOTORIST

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“Serving number what, SMH!”


Yesterday, I went to the DMV to get a new identification card because my license has expired. And for those of you living under a rock, the DMV is the Department of Motor Vehicles. And if you’ve ever been there you know it can be a headache. From the moment you enter the building and see the people all packed in, you know it’s going to be a long day. For me at least, I walked into the DMV with confidence. Had my social security card, old ID, and debit card ready to pay for my new ID. But I was stopped and told to go home and get my birth certificate. That made me lose about a half hour. Then I was told again to go home because apparently the window I went to after the first person said I didn’t have enough points on their slide chart to proceed forward. So I went home, yet again.

And from the point of getting everything straight to getting my temporary ID, it took 6 hours. Yep, you didn’t hear wrong, 6 hours. I was so frustrated I was late for work later in the day. So my question is, what is it about the DMV that makes them so unproductive? Is it all them, or do they deal with so many unprofessional people they throw their hands up and say screw it. Because any government agency you have to depend on is always this way. And as for me, I look at this from two perspectives. There is the perspective that the people the DMV have to deal with all day are ignorant. And the customers are also dealing with people who completely hate their jobs. And if you’re dealing with difficult people they should have their own special area so people who know what they’re doing can be in and out. And for those employees that hate their jobs, get rid of them because they make the process that much more irritating.

Now, when dealing with people who come and have no clue what to do, it’s frustrating because I come to the DMV once every blue moon. A s a matter of fact, it’s been 8 years since the last time I came to the DMV. But soon as you walk in there are people who act like they’ve never heard of a queuing system. If not for the people telling you to go left of right, there would be no order. And when the people get to the window to speak to someone, they are standing there all day conversing. I witnessed yesterday a man stand at the window for at least 15 – 20 minutes. I myself only took about 3 – 5 minutes. People carry themselves like they have not a care in the world. Like no one else has a life to tend to themselves. And don’t get me started now on the people who work at the DMV. One person gives you one set of information. Then when you speak to a clerk, they tell you something different. Next thing you know, you’ll be here all day long waiting.

And in the end, nothing that requires the governments help actually works. Only are they productive when it’s time to pay them some money. Then the lines are far shorter, and the time is much quicker. Across the hall from the DMV’s customer services was the traffic violation office. And that office was so quiet and calm. You know why; people were forced to pay the city. Oh trust and believe, they’re very friendly in aiding you in a payment. And luckily for me, I am 30 years old and I won’t need to go back until I am 38 years old; thank God.


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KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP FIGHTING

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“Don’t walk away when success is on the other side.”


For the past 6.5 years I have been writing my screenplays, with the hopes of securing an agent. Now that I have more of a handle on my writing, I want to pursue an agent in the year 2018. But what I don’t want to do is quit when I am so close to doing what it is I want to do in life. I always remember the quote from Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I have used this quote in other prior posts as well. And that feeling that so many people get when they stop pursuing and see others doing what they wanted to do. It hurts because it makes them realize how they might have been able to win if they stuck it out. But instead they ran away because it became far too tough to continue. And why do so many stop short of their dreams in life.

Usually people stop pursuing because they are getting older and older and start to see their lives slipping away from them. They are pumped about their dream job at 20 years old, then 25 comes and they’re still pumped. But once 30 years of age hits, they start to get that feeling of it hasn’t happened by now. That feeling that everyone else is going on in life without you, but you are still dragging along. I myself, am 30 years old pursuing screenwriting/filmmaking and as a novelist, but I work retail and as an usher. Most people I know have already gotten married and started having children. But me, I am single and have no children; and from the looks of things, I won’t be having children and dating anytime soon. And in a life that is long, why do we have these ways of seeing the world as over at such a young age? It’s because we are on a clock that society has stated you should be doing certain things by a certain age.

But then again, why should we be doing certain things? What if you’re like me and don’t want to get married or have children? You tend to look at society from a totally different standpoint. To you, life is long and you have years to focus on building a family. Yet to those living by the societal standard, they must be married by a certain point, have children, have a career. And the question states, why? There is no scientific proof of the world not spinning on its axis if you don’t live your life by certain standards. I’s because we want to be accepted, even if it’s at the cost of not being happy. We would much rather exist in a world where we’re unhappy and fit the societal standard than to be dangerous on the outside of it. And in the end, that’s why we fall short of our success. We want to satisfy others and not ourselves. We want to fit into a group not build on something we love. It’s a lot of group think in order to be with the pack. And people want the group acceptance.


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SWITCHING UP THE CONTRACT: WHY THE BEGINNING IS NEVER THE REAL DEAL

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“Signed and sealed.”


Ever get the feeling that you signed up for a relationship that is not winding-up like you thought it would pan out. You met this person one way and they switched up on you the moment the relationship started. When you first met them, whatever you loved about them changed. You feel like you’ve been robbed and cheated of something you were promised. It’s like someone buying you a gift for Christmas with beautiful wrapping paper, then the box was empty inside. Imagine the frustration at receiving an empty Christmas gift. In the beginning, you both gave each other a sheet of paper to sign. This was a contract, and you were supposed to hold up your end of the bargain. But after a while the contract was forgotten about and shelved. Now the person is in breach of contract for the breaking the rules of the document.

For so many who experience the break in contract, you feel cheated like I said prior. I hear everyone put their best foot forward, but come on. We are all on our best behavior, but you’re talking the person completely changed their entire identity. That is not putting your best foot forward, that is lying and portraying yourself to be something that is absolutely nothing of who you really are in a relationship. So what do you do if you’re experiencing the change up in contract? If you’re dating, you can easily end the relationship, but not in marriage. In marriage, you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get yourself out of, even if you tried. So, with any contract that you can’t break, you have to hopefully pray that the other person breaks before you do. And if someone doesn’t break, you’r stuck in a partnership you can’t afford to leave.

And why do people switch up the contract, it’s either because they lied about who they are, or they can’t keep up the persona that they introduced to you. The lying exist because these people are miserable and want someone to revel in their misery as a couple. But for the most part, people have a hard time maintaining the person they say they were in the contract. And whatever made you desired is lost because that desirable thing you had was intricate to the contract. So the desire becomes lost; but what’s funny is that the desire can come back. Yet most people give up after a while and the contract is null and void once there was a initial breach in the beginning.


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SOCIAL OVERSHARING: WHAT EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA SAYS ABOUT YOU

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“What did you just post!”


“My baby mama is taking me to court for child support.”

“My boss is a douche bag.”

“My boyfriend is cheating on me.”

Do you ever get the feeling that people share way too much on social media. I have always wondered why people do it, until I looked a little bit deeper at the problem. And the reason why people share is much more sinister than you think. There is this personal relationship we have with the people who follow us via the internet. But the relationships are not real, and it keep people in your business on a daily. Very few people know what is going in my personal life unless it’s something dire. I understand when people share things like, “Rest in Peace,” to a person close in their lives. But the people who tell their personal business, please stop oversharing. But like I said before, what is the reason.

In America today, we have all these friends on our social media, and yet we are more isolated than anytime before. How is possible you have a 1 million “friends” and yet be so alone. Well, social media has given a voice to the powerless. It has given a voice to people that without the social media platforms, their lives would be even more boring than it is now. Social media shows you how alone people truly are in the world. And then when people use that information we put into the world against us, we get upset. But once you put your information out there to start with, you’re open for ridicule. So why not just put down your social media. Because it’s addictive, that’s why. So what have we become, nothing but merely slaves to our own vulnerability. So you must put the media that you indulge in down for just a second.

Another aspect of social media is that our society has turned into a society of unintelligent inhabitants. From texting and tweeting sentences that are not thought out and abbreviated to fit the character limit. To the only reading of the header and viewing the photo in an article, then commenting on the article that you saw without knowing the full information. And wind-up sharing an opinion that has absolutely nothing to do with the article above the comments. And here lies another issue with the social media usage is that people have become lazy. People don’t want to think: think in regards to writing and think in regards to reading. And in the end, this social media era is going to be the downfall of so many while a few capitalize in a big way. People are lonely, and have no one to converse with, so we seek validation from a community of people at times we don’t even know. Then get angry when we’re judged after putting the information out into the world.


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