HATING MY LIKENESS: HOW TO COPE WITH NOT LOVING YOURSELF

Close-Up Photo of Woman With Black and Purple Eye Shadow

“Self hate is real.”


i am hurting

You ever look in the mirror and the reflection is what you can’t stand to see. But it is the human that is staring back at you that hurts to see. You are struggling to cope with your existence that is you on the planet. And how do you fix not liking yourself and wanting to be something else? You are smart, attractive, successful, but something is missing. Can it potentially be love? Well, some people have love for others and the utmost compassion, but they are hurting. What is the underlying problem that is wrong with you? I not only have I been there, but I still struggle in my mind being this person some times where I wish I didn’t turn on the lights in the bathroom.

mental madness

Let me give you an insight into my mental craziness. I was born in the year 1987 and coming up on 32 years of age. And my mind has been this weird field of up and down chaos. I have spent so much of my life depressed and shying from people. It was due to being poor and physically not feeling like I measured up to standards. Here I am 32 years of age trying to reclaim a life I never lived. Growing up in a household with my sisters and mother, not having a man to build your identity, the flower blooms in certain ways. For me it meant not shedding a tear for everything and trying to find my way in a world where no one fully understands you because there is a gender gap in the house. So you question yourself: mentally, socially, sexually, and physically. Luckily for me, I know why I hated what I looked at. Some people will never make it to that point.

reinvention

Here is the great part about living in New York City. I can recreate myself at any point in time. That really aids in you trying to break out of the funk that you are in. Now, that doesn’t mean everyone in New York is happy. What it means is for someone like me, I can continue to move forward because everyday I walk outside I am dealing with multitudes of people who know nothing about me. I can always focus on me and what I need to do in life.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

Twitter Me: @2320howe

MY MIND PLAYING TRICKS: THINKING YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS YOU ARE

Man Wearing Gray Sweater in Selective Focus Photography

“Mind F**K.”


why i hurt

I come from work from my overnight shift and go to sleep because it is still in the early A.M. And when I wake up it is usually in the morning in as well. How do I get myself motivated when my mind is rattled about when and where to start my day. This is something that comes across my mind on a daily basis. You start to feel like your mind is trying to destroy you from progressing in life. And that is a tough thing because you need your mind to exist. And your mind will be the launching pad that will propel you into success. So when it goes so does the ability to succeed.

the mirror doesn’t lie, your mind does

You ever stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself with disdain? The look that you don’t like what you see and that you are never going to be better than where you are now. That feeling of image as you look in the mirror will eventually turn into your reality. And the mirror will give you a literal interpretation of what you think of yourself. Only the mirror is not a trick mirror. You will slowly turn into the person you thought you were prior to what you have become. Your own physical embodiment will shift and now you are that person you hate. Trust and believe I know what that feeling is about and have been in that place.

uncertainty and unknown

Walking into the land of who knows what is a scary place to be. Because now you are trying to maneuver in a place where you are foreign. You don’t speak the language of the land and any form of communication means nothing. And I walk through this land, not because of the city where I dwell, but life. And that is why I feel like the mind is playing tricks. What I wake up intending to do and what I actually do sometimes is different. It’s like I am in a fight with myself because I don’t ever think I look as good as I look. I don’t think I am as smart as I am. So there is this constant battle with self until I am successful at what I do in life.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

Twitter Me: @2320howe

TRUE IN MY MIND: HOW THE MIND EVOLVED TO MAKE US THINK ALL FEELINGS MEAN SOMETHING

Related image

“It was put there, must mean something.”


INTRODUCTION

We all have feelings, that is not ground breaking to hear, but what about the meaning behind the feeling. Just because we as humans have evolved to have a feeling does not always mean it should have a purpose in society. There are so many feelings that we have as people that should not present themselves in life. And you would think I was talking about the crimes that some people commit. No, I’m referring to how we view the world around us. No one wants to think that how they feel means nothing, so we all have our individual ways.

PROCESS OF ELIMINATION

The way in which we sustain a civilization is being able to decipher what feelings in our society mean something. Because feelings are one thing, but there need to be a logical view on how the world should operate. Because feelings change on a daily, but there need to be something more resolute in the way we live. Meaning, if we create laws that will benefit the masses, it is intended to be a rational decision. If feelings come into play, then what you will have is an emotional society, which causes chaos. So you start with the most important aspects of life, then scale back from there.

WHY WE HAVE THEM?

A potential reason why we have feelings is to make us compassionate toward our own species for our survival. We have more respect and love when it’s toward something we see ourselves apart of in life. So we see another human hurt it brings about this humanity. And from that humanity we help because then again, we would like someone to do it for us. These feelings we have are real, not saying they aren’t, but were we given them to hold against each other in society, or was it something else. Because as much as I said before about them having meaning, we need them. We need compassion, but too much feeling ruin a civilization. Which is why I think America could be in trouble because everyone’s feelings must be taken into consideration. And if that’s the case, with 323 million people, you are bringing into the consideration a skewed view as well.


My Personal Website: www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

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TOO MUCH SELF AWARENESS: ARE WE BECOMING TOO IN THE KNOW

anatomy, biology, eye

“We were made to learn; but this much, really?”


INTRODUCTORY 

The more we become aware of who we are, are we starting to see humanity become more and more depressed? Are we hitting this point where we are so in the know that it’s bringing people down? Because if you are a science buff, then you have reason to believe that people are not going anywhere special after death. And if that is to be held as factual over time, then how will that fair with man knowing that this is it? Or, are we going to see the complete opposite? People may become more empathetic once we fill that this is it for us on Earth.

EVIDENCE

Graphical chart

The chart below shows the science of the way in which humanity has evolved in the mind over time.

The chart was made using the information found on the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History.

The information above was found from the → Smithsonian website regarding how the brain has evolved over time. The independent dots represent the different stages of human evolution, while the dots attached to lines shows what happened between that time years ago.

  • At the highest point we are at 4 – 6 million years ago when scientist stated that brain size increased giving us the ability to walk upright and make simple tools.
  • The second point shows where the brain and the body increases with respect to each other about 2 million to 800,000 years ago. At a time where we also ventured throughout the globe and came in contact with many different ways of life and survival.
  • Then the third point is represented by the lowest point; and this is where we experienced the climate change and how we as humans adapted to our surroundings as well as our interactions with each other. A time where life was unpredictable and the brain had to adjust; 200,000 to 800,000 years ago.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

All of this information we have and will have in the future means that once we continue to experience shifts and changes in climate and our relationships with each other grows, so will our brains. And once you get in the know it’s impossible to go backward. But will it make people more depressed and more vulnerable? So far, we have lasted this long on Earth and we have learned and continue to learn every step of the way. So being too in the know is only scary to generations who have lived a long time on Earth and watch drastic change from when they were young. We aren’t knowing too much too soon, you are just getting old and can’t handle it, and you’re rejecting new information that you believed for so long to be false.


My Personal Website: www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

Twitter Me: @2320howe

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NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE: WHY YOU SHOULDN’T FORCE LIFE, LET IT HAPPEN

Man Sitting on the Mountain Edge

“Sometimes you have to take time off.”


When you’re working and you have been going for so long that you get that mental wear and tear, you have to step back. Forcing success to come out won’t work because is has to be an organic feel. When it’s real it’s real, and when you force it, you’re just going to wind-up putting out more trash. So when you’re going through one of those mental breakdowns, remember to do the following.

OWN IT

Realize that there is a problem going on inside your head. Know that you have hit a point where you’re not able to think past this moment. And I say moment because if you have been moving toward your goal long enough, it is momentary to have a stuck point. It’s normal to perform well time and time again, then out of nowhere lose your groove.

ASSESS IT

Now that you have owned up to the problem, the next step is trying to figure out how you got to this point. Is it that you have worked yourself tiresome? Or could it be that you have not worked smart enough, just hard enough? Because there is a difference between working hard and smart. So know how you came to this mental block.

THE PLAN TO FIX

Here is where you devise a plan to fix the issue that is keeping you from moving forward in life. This point will be not only how you leave your current situation, but also will aid in how you deal with future problems hereafter. Now, don’t be mislead, sometimes the best laid plans go astray. But having the plan keeps you on track to being back to the old you.

EXECUTE

Here is the point at which you implement the plan to bring yourself back to the old you. The execution will draw the strength from within that will get you over the hump and back on track to success. Which will ultimately lead into the last stage.

PROSPERITY

This is the stage at which you are back to success, or on track as usual toward success. Now what’s interesting about this entire passage is that we will all have these obstacles in our lives. That’s why we should experience the hurt at a young age, so by the time we get older we know it before it hits us. Yet if we don’t learn to take these lumps early in life, much harder days will cripple us down the line.


My Personal Website: www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson

Twitter Me: @2320howe

Tumblr Me: @fjackson44

Facebook Fan Page: www.facebook.com