DATE NIGHT: THE NEW ERA OF DATING

Man and Woman Sitting Together in Front of Table

“Whose in charge of what?”


boy the times have changed

In today’s society the landscape of dating sure has taken a turn. It’s a far cry from what dating was like in our parents or even grandparents generation. You had a courting process that could take as much as a year or more. Today people are know to have sex in the same night that they meet. And I am just trying to understand, if the end game is having a long lasting relationship, does hooking up so soon work itself out. Some people argue that it does not matter while those with more life experience will say it is a big mistake to go into something so intimate so soon.

boy meets girl, sometimes

Times have also changed regarding who asks out who on a date. Still for the most part it’s guys meeting the girl. But there have been a wave of women asking guys out on dates. Now, it is still fairly new, but it has been a trend over time. Today’s women feels there should not be any restrictions on who ask who out on a date. I will caution women, that when you are more into us than we are into you, you could be running into some problems. So if this is a pursuit for relationship, then it could mean that he is the prize. So, now you become the constant hunter. Because as much as you think as a woman you are under control you really aren’t in control.

what is to come next

For the future to come, who knows what will be the next move forward. If only you knew that, there is a lot of money to be made. Why, well, people have been busy because individuals have to work more today. So the time spent dating is tough. And with the advent of all these dating apps, what will be the tech move to bring people even closer together?


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

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GANG GANG: WHY WE LOVE THE STREET LIFE

Image result for gang culture

“It’s raw and we love it.”


why we love it

It’s in the music and our communities. We love for some reason the gangs in America. I once spoke about the gangster mentality and the infatuation. This topic will be geared toward how it has become so popular in the dominant society. And a lot of the music has to do with why gangs are so popular. Only problem is that gangs are not a play thing. You have to realize that people die as well as go to prison. So you can have that life but these are the consequences to being in the street. We have been seeing this play itself out during the trial of rapper Tekashi 69. Over the past few years he has stated how gangsta he is, but now it’s put to the test.

dollar dollar bills ya’ll

I remember growing up listening to hip hop music where gang culture is big in the music. But then, you start to see companies cash in on the market for this love of the streets. Meaning, you would never see a McDonalds commercial with gang signs. But you would see someone performing the Crip walk. A dance that was created and popularized by the Crips gang in the state of California. So when you have a dance created by a street gang, you have to assume there is something else attached to these moves. And the moves are almost like a tribal dance that shouldn’t be popularized by teens who don’t know what they are doing. But companies don’t care, they see hip hop artist Snoop Dogg doing it, now it’s the Snoop dance. Now Snoop would never tell you it’s his, but it becomes that because he is so famous.

rebellion is attractive

Then gang outlaws represent an aspect of daily American rebellious actions toward the status quo. There is nothing more attractive at times than the bad goys who elude the authorities in their attempts to maximize monetarily for their own personal gain. well, why is that good? Because we all have the idea that the government really isn’t out for the good of the people. So when these outlaws create a work around to making money outside the watchful eye of Uncle Sam, it’s enticing. But, all that enticing behavior comes at a cost to the person and society. So inevitably, the marketing and advertising of gang culture becomes a negative externality. As well as also becoming a stain on the communities from which they were created.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE: LEARNING ABOUT OTHERS CULTURE

Woman Wearing Green Sari Dress

“Try something new.”


it’s all i know

As a young male growing up in Southeastern Wisconsin, there was not much diversity going on in the city. So when I moved to New York City, I will say it was quite overwhelming. Still sometimes the city can be a lot, but I am able to manage a lot more than in the beginning. But I have moved here and weathered the storm to stay. But this isn’t about living in a new city, it’s about getting out of your comfort zone so that you can learn more and succeed in the process. I for one am a person who has to always work on getting his own comfort zone to make things happen in my life. And because of that I find myself opening a window to so many opportunities.

knowing less is not an excuse

In New York City there are close to one hundred ethnic groups from around the world. And the reality is, is that you’re not going to know everything about everyone. But there are enough people within a certain to understand. Because it’s one thing for a city of 1,000,000 to have a group that makes up less than half of one percent of the population. Then there is another to know nothing about the city makeup of a group that constitutes 45% of the entire cities population. This means you are living in serious proximity of another group and to not have nothing to know about each other is mind boggling.

fear shouldn’t hold you back

Coming from a different background or from a different country and then visiting that location is scary. I work at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, and I see tourist from different parts of the world and there is something so brave about moving about a place you have never been. NYC is a scary place if you are just coming to America for the first time. But this is not everywhere in America. Most places are not this fast and big. I have my scary cultural hang-ups as well but they are dating. And I promised myself I would get out of that zone.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

THAT’S NOT FUNNY: WHY ARE COMICS HELD TO CERTAIN STANDARDS

People at Theater

“Why so serious?”


comedic standards

Comedian Dave Chappelle recently put out his standup special and it has so many people upset at his commentary. My previous post talked about sensitivity with language, but now I wanted to tackle the need for comedians to be held to such standards. I never thought the day would come where so many people are hurt by jokes while the same commentary is still in music and films. Is it that comedians are really saying things that are reprehensible, or are people being way too sensitive? In my opinion, people are being way too sensitive because a lot of comics that people are angry at have said and done worst in the past that we all love. So it seems pretty selective now they are touching on something I don’t like.

court jesters aren’t politicians

Hundreds of years in the past, the comic was someone that was appointed to make the king laugh. You made him laugh and you were the funniest person around. Not many people could make the serious, no nonsense king laugh. So the jester was very important in his own regard. But now, the jester is seen as someone that is just as important as the himself. And it is the job of the comic to take tragedy a lot of times and make light of it. Many think that is not funny, but all comedy is at the expense of someone. So to say that this is funny but not this over here, you’re just reaching to something that isn’t there. You want to hold on to your frustration so you will make anything hate.

i just need the fire inside

If you were to make people explain why they are angry, a lot of people couldn’t do it. They have all this built-up aggression, but for some reason, they don’t know where it comes from. In my opinion, they know where it comes from. And for whatever they don’t want to address it. It is much easier to go around angry than it is to fix a problem. The anger is like a blanket that feels really good and comforts you. Only problem is the extreme lows after the rage.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

PRO WHAT: CAN YOU BE FOR YOUR GROUP AND BE WITH ANOTHER

Related image

“Righteous outside your group.”


proud from the outside

I have heard from various people that you cannot be pro your ethnic group and marry from the outside. And for the longest I have been trying to figure out what that means. Because living in America to tell groups of people who come from different backgrounds to not marry each other yet promote them living and existing in the same proximity is mind boggling to me. Nowhere on Earth do we have a place where people are that wide and diverse where we are still shocked when they cohabitate with each other. And the idea that you can not be in the best interest of your group can be seen as mind boggling as well. But is there some truth to the madness? Well, lets observe for just one second what that could mean and look like in America.

one will live, one will die

When you marry someone of another culture, chances are, when the kid gets older and marry themselves they tend to choose. And the reality is, in that defining moment is when a lot of the culture of one of those groups is gone forever. So when you hear people say that you can’t be pro-your group and then marry outside, that could be an indicator. Now, do people intend on removing their identity from existence? The answer to that question is of course no. But the reality is, they do remove it. Meaning, if I marry a Latina, we have a child, chances are, that child will choose either African American culture or Latino culture. And just like that, in a full generation, something is lost forever. But what do you do tp keep this from happening?

proximity can keep things going

If you live in the same environment as the other group, then things tend to last a lot longer. If a Chinese person marries a Japanese person, it is a big deal overseas, but not quite in America. And the transition between the Eastern countries are for fluid in America than most groups. So when you have such close ties, then there is a possibility that the cultures can hold strong longer than most. Now, when you have something like a Pakistani that attempts to marry a Mexican, then things may go in a different direction because one is so much different. Now, when both groups live in the United States in the same metropolitan city, then and only then might the marriage stand a chance (ex. New York City).

stick to your guns

When in doubt, wait until someone who is of your group comes along. This could take a lot of time for your life to work and transpire. But you don’t have to worry about all the issues coming form outside your relationship. But if you are not concerned what people think continue to live. But whatever the case make sure you know this what you truly want. But also, are you prepared to do the same for your children?


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

BEST OF THE BEST: HOW ACADEMICS ARE BEING LOWERED IN AMERICA

Two Books Beside Two Chalks

“Let them fail.”


a grade shouldn’t be given

I was hearing on the television where a school here in New York City was passing students through and not even really checking to see if they were qualified to graduate. And you think to yourself, is this what schools have become. We are now just pushing kids through as if someone is going to push them through success in life. But for some reason the new thing is to give kids grades for simply nothing in the world today. This whole something for nothing culture that is in schools is only going to hurt kids in the long run. What is the reason for the change? Are our children this incapable that now we have to lower the standard in order to raise their confidence?

when did it start

Playing youth sports, I remember at nd of the season we got a trophy. I never understood why because we got pushed around the whole year. So I know I lost, but why the trophy? And then I got older and looked back on times. It was the start of giving kids something for nothing. Even in school I found out about the infamous curve. The curve where if every person in the class received a low grade, then the teacher would raise the grades of people to a certain percentage. And that is when the problem starts. I don’t care if the school classroom all got bad grades, it is what it is.

life is not given

Once we have given a kid everything, then what now? The world will not give them nothing for nothing. You have to work hard for everything you get in this world. I myself am going through a weird mental hang-up in my life. It is strange to go through this time, but as a young adult who is 32 years old, I feel like sometimes lost. But that is the realities of life, you are never going to be given anything. And that is very hurtful, but you will go through these times in life. This time period is no different; and this too shall past.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe

SEX IS WAY TOO EASY: THE CULTURE OF SWIPING

Image result for APP DATING

“Left for no, right for yes.”


the new chivalry

I have a Bumble account, but I have never really used it. Just went about my time swiping on it and playing around. But there is still something to be said about actually approaching someone and talking face to face. Dating apps gives you the ability to be shot down over the computer and you don’t have the personal rejection up close. Yet even this is not the topical point of today. This is more about the sex lifestyle of living on the apps. Just swiping on someone then see if you can get a quick hookup. And that is what so much about being a young person today is about. It’s almost crazy to assume someone would be willing to approach then build from there into something more.

convenience is key

Work, life, balance for the average person is so stressful in today’s society. So the popularity with online dating has made life so much more convenient. You swipe and wait for them to respond. If they respond then we move on from there, if not then keep swiping. And this is due to us always trying to find our next gig. Making money is very important and with a lot of jobs, yet lower pay and hours, we find ourselves working more gigs. Then when you think about your dating life, it gets thrown to the back burner. But once that happens you start to lose the ability to connect to another person. You are more so connected to the ideas of what that person might be, but not actually be. We become in love with a representation instead of the real deal.

parents just don’t understand

When you are swiping as a means to meet someone then parents look at you like they don’t understand you. And the reality is that they will never because their way of meeting someone was to was to approach that person. It is too risky for them to go over the computer to meet someone. Because this way you are able to see the person and not them putting forward this person that is not them on a screen. Funny thing is, we all come with a representative of who we are in life. No one shows up and says, “Hey I’m_________, I have an emotional problem, financial issues, and looking for someone to aid me in good life decision making.” The average person would run for the hills. But in all, it still seems odd to you parent’s generation.

the next generation’s swipe

If we swipe today, what will be the swipe for dating 20 years from now. Who knows, maybe there won’t even be a swipe. They might be inclined to go back to dating like the distant past. Or maybe a flip could happen where women play the role of us as men and pursue us. But I will say this, technology will make things more and more strange to my age group.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

Instagram Me: @theefaheemjackson; @faheemjacksonphotography

Twitter Me: @2320howe