“Is love really color blind?”
Recently on the morning radio talk show The Breakfast Club, social activist and psychologist Umar Johnson was on talking to the hosts. He made a statement regarding interracial marriage that I thought was quite interesting. He stated that marriage is a political decision. And who you marry says a lot about your priorities when pertaining to ethnicity. Which is why he said that if you are an African American marrying a White man or woman you are not only taking them on as a partner, but also this group’s culture. And you are accepting the group’s community as well. Umar was making a distinct connection between what outside ethnic group you marry and your loyalty to your own ethnic group.
And what I thought about right off the back was, is this so? Does marrying outside your ethnicity as an African American renders you devout of self-love and respect because of your choice? And is this really a choice that is stemmed deeply in politics? Because I see Jews, Asians, Indians, and Hispanics stress marrying another member of their group. This is not just Umar who feels this way. Are those other groups wrong for preserving their culture? Because this is what the fight is about, preserving culture. When you marry a group that is different than your own, the cultures can be vastly different. What do you say regarding this, such as Jew marrying a Muslim?
See, in my household, my mother stressed marrying someone you love. And I felt this way, but when I became an adult, and took on my own experiences I started to look at things differently. I don’t think you are less than for marrying outside your ethnicity, but I also am not against people who are against interracial relationships either. Now some may say, how can you feel that way? I myself, as an African American man, couldn’t marry a woman of any other ethnic group if not accepted by her side. Meaning, if I meet a Chinese woman, and her parents/family didn’t approve, I wouldn’t see myself staying. As against them as I might be, I don’t think you should be forced to allow people into your family if you don’t want me there.
Now, that leaves the woman hurt, but that’s a problem she must come to terms with, with her family. You know your family, and you know what they accept and reject. I don’t want to be a member, nor do I want them forced to accept me. My best bet, is to remove myself from the equation. It’s not in my best interest to stay. Because if I were abusive, that’s a reason to not like me. I can’t stay in a situation where you dislike an aspect about me I can’t change, nor would I want to change. So as much as it would hurt the woman, I have to make a decision to remove myself.
Now others might disagree with my decision. They would say, if you love that person, who cares what others think. But to me, as awful as you might think they are, losing family is easier said than done. Are you willing to lose everything that have ever existed in your life for this one person? And if you and this person don’t last in the relationship, you’re completely alone in the world. Sadly enough, people are put into those decisions. And I don’t want to be the catalyst for that decision.
In the end, there are people who think love is color blind. And to me you like what you like. Human attraction is not always a socio-political decision because we are not that type of species. People are mammals that gain attractions to other mammals like us. Ethnic conflict is a social construct placed by man for means of control. There are men who are members of the KKK that are attracted to Black women and Nation of Islam men who have liked White women. It’s not ok socially, no one would admit that, but as humans you like who you like. Yet the social aspect of our society is far more greater than the emotional attachments.
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