“Fear, hurt, guilt, anguish; just to name a few.”
Waking p everyday, not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Unsure about your future, and not knowing what direction to take in life. You are in pain, so hurt that you don’t know how much longer you could possibly go on. And on top of it all, you start to contemplate what life would be like if you weren’t alive. That my friend is when you realize that you are living in a very dark place. Whose been in a dark place before? A place so dark that you can’t see your hand outstretched in front of you. Where did it come from and how did you manage to overcome such emotion. So many people on a daily basis battle with this feeling. I know about the feeling because I have, and at certain moments of my life, still feel the darkness. But those moments are not as prevalent today as ther were in the past.
For me at least, I was coming from undergraduate school into to graduate school not really knowing what I wanted to do in life. After college, there is a major drop off point from going to school. You have all these ideas of what you’re going to be doing once school ends. Then school ends and you’re thrown into the thralls of society. Thrown out there with a bunch of wolves who are used to fending for themselves. They were afraid like me once, but they have adjusted and are ready to devour me as I come into the game. And on top of that, you struggle with identity: as a man, in success, and in mental strength. Then I found writing, and it turned me on to a new world. A world of transparency, where I could otherwise not have been transparent previously. Writing is a skill that you are able to fully express yourself, where verbally I was unable to do so.
So in your life, what place were you at, and how did you manage to overcome that deep dark place? Hopefully there were was no physical harm to ones self that came with the darkness. See, there’s a lot of guilt that comes with darkness. Guilt that you might be living a life you know very well you shouldn’t be living. Fears that plague you because you are so unaware of what lies in the future. And the internal pain you feel when you have lost confidence in your ability to progress. In the end, being in a dark place does not have to be permanent. You still have time to save yourself from yourself.
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