INTERNAL DUNGEON: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A DARK PLACE

adult, alone, black and white

“Fear, hurt, guilt, anguish; just to name a few.”


Waking p everyday, not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Unsure about your future, and not knowing what direction to take in life. You are in pain, so hurt that you don’t know how much longer you could possibly go on. And on top of it all, you start to contemplate what life would be like if you weren’t alive. That my friend is when you realize that you are living in a very dark place. Whose been in a dark place before? A place so dark that you can’t see your hand outstretched in front of you. Where did it come from and how did you manage to overcome such emotion. So many people on a daily basis battle with this feeling. I know about the feeling because I have, and at certain moments of my life, still feel the darkness. But those moments are not as prevalent today as ther were in the past.

For me at least, I was coming from undergraduate school into to graduate school not really knowing what I wanted to do in life. After college, there is a major drop off point from going to school. You have all these ideas of what you’re going to be doing once school ends. Then school ends and you’re thrown into the thralls of society. Thrown out there with a bunch of wolves who are used to fending for themselves. They were afraid like me once, but they have adjusted and are ready to devour me as I come into the game. And on top of that, you struggle with identity: as a man, in success, and in mental strength. Then I found writing, and it turned me on to a new world. A world of transparency, where I could otherwise not have been transparent previously. Writing is a skill that you are able to fully express yourself, where verbally I was unable to do so.

So in your life, what place were you at, and how did you manage to overcome that deep dark place? Hopefully there were was no physical harm to ones self that came with the darkness. See, there’s a lot of guilt that comes with darkness. Guilt that you might be living a life you know very well you shouldn’t be living. Fears that plague you because you are so unaware of what lies in the future. And the internal pain you feel when you have lost confidence in your ability to progress. In the end, being in a dark place does not have to be permanent. You still have time to save yourself from yourself.


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GRRRR! RAGE AND IT’S EFFECTS ON THE MIND

Image result for rage

“How anger effects your mood.”

I want you to conduct and experiment if you ever get the chance. I want you to think about a particular topic. Not just any topic, but a very controversial topic. Something like politics, racism, homophobia, religion, etc. Sit at home alone and engage in a full on debate with yourself. And try to get as mad as you can possibly get regarding the topic. Then after about an hour I want you to evaluate how you feel in the moment you stop being mad. Write down how you feel about yourself in this current state. What do you think you feel in this moment?

Now this all sounds crazy, but the thought behind something this extreme is because of the hate on social media. Some of the comments are so over the top hateful you wonder what is going on in people’s lives. And it’s not sarcasm, but flat out hatred. Now, I have conducted this experiment before a few times. Then I tried performing a productive task afterward. I noticed that my head hurt and I couldn’t focus on more important tasks. One of which was performing my daily writing for my blog and novel.

But I was only experimenting, what about the people who actually live like this on a daily basis. For me, when I see something or hear something I don’t like I tend to move on. So, why is it so hard for people to do the same. I have a few theories as to why people are this way. The first is that people don’t have anything going on in their lives. So when a famous person post their lives, even if remotely interesting the viewer just meltdown. Well why does their interesting life effect you so much? Because if you are home, work, home, work, and that’s your life, you look for reasons to be mad.

Which leads me into my next theory why people build rage. In their daily lives, they have no voice, which is why they protest. It makes them feel like they’ve accomplished something in a world where they accomplish nothing. Me on the other hand, unless you’ve broken a serious law, I don’t see the point in getting so mad about someone else’s life. So when a famous person is forced to apologize, they may have been one of the protesters, so it makes them feel like they did something important. It’s the prison inmate mentality. Hey, we’re in prison with nothing but time, let’s file complaints against the corrections officers. Hell, there’s nothing else to feel the time with.

And my last theory is that people spend so much of their lives not preparing for life, that when it’s time for them to get serious they’re now scrambling. For instance, they use their 20’s to have fun, then when life dawn on them, they have spent 10 years partying. Now some people go hey time to build. But others have this inner disdain for wasting a decade now 30’s are arriving. But instead of buckling down the disdain continues into their 30’s to 40’s. And now they have wasted 20 years. And just like that, the rejection of wasted time sets in. That’s why it’s important to pursue a career and life from three mindsets: what do I love, am I good at it, and can I financially sustain over a lifetime.