Tag: #hurt

WHEN THE HURT ENJOYS HURT: WHEN A GROUP THAT HAS BEEN HURT RELISH IN THE HURT NOW THEMSELVES

Grayscale Photo of a Woman Sleeping

“I want you to see what’s like to be me.”

my pain

Anyone that belongs to group of people who have had to endure a long history of pain must be careful. They must be careful because it’s very easy to slip into a role of being the one doling out the hate. And this happens since a lot of the times we become the people we have had to deal with especially if there is no culture to the people in pain. You adopt the nature of the ones that hurt you and it now becomes a situation where now you’re making the same excuses as the ones who hurt you just to have yourself a legs up.

it’s different

We always make excuses for why we treat individuals a certain way. But when it’s actually time to breakdown the thought process there is no clear and concise answer. We are so used to behaving in a certain manner and it not being questioned, that we are unprepared to answer questions. But what happens now that the shoe is on the other foot and you ask someone to state a clear idea as to why they feel a certain way. They can’t give you a reason, they’ll just say it’s different or you’re against them. But people will not have to conversation. And the reason being is because there is no logical explanation and an explanation would further expose the fact there isn’t one. So in a nutshell, I am saying to hurt dole out maybe not the equivalent, but aspects and find reasons to not say it is so.

blind to the issue

Believe it or not, there are people who don’t even see their own internalize disdain that has also been held for them. We dilute ourselves into thinking a lot of times that we are better than the people who hurt us. But we become bastardized versions of them and transfer the hate. That’s why there will always be this form of hate in society. People need a reason to say this group is responsible, then enough time goes by where that group is no longer in control. And then a new group becomes the oppressors and the oppressed.

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SORROW: WHY DO WE HAVE HURT AND PAIN AS HUMANS

adult, art, conceptual

“It’s there since birth, but why?”

sorrows

Humans are endowed since birth with a lot of emotions. Emotions that I can’t explain as to why we have them, but we do. And sorrow is one of those emotions that we have as people. Why were we given an emotion such as sorrow? How does this aid us in our existence on this planet. Because everything we are born with in our lives serve as some type of purpose for our survival in the beginning of time. So in having the emotion to feel sorrow, pain, hurt, and dejection; where did it come from in the beginning?

early on

As humans evolved into the beings that we are today, there are things that have aided in our further existence. As I said before in other post, there are families that will never be known because for whatever reason they fell off. Whether it was not having offspring, or taking part in some activity that ended their lives. But emotions gave us the ability to feel compassion, and animal, bigfoot, evolutionmainly for one another. Even though there was tribal fighting because as man ventured out we would eventually find our way back to other early humans. That’s when hostility arose, but once hostility died down some more, man would procreate even with those seen as different. Civilizations stronger arose, and the reason for further compassion became paramount.

maintaining sorrow

As time progress, we not only continue to have sorrows, but we have also used sorrow to take on other meanings. Sorrow also can mean happy just as much as it means to be hurt. We show sorrow when our kid takes their first steps, graduate from college, and get married. We have found ways to channel our hurt into happiness so that tears that form in the eyes come out of fulfillment. And we are becoming more of a global community with each passing year. Who knows, man might eventually become a one nation species. Not in 10 years or even 100 years, but who knows in 1,000 years.

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HOPING FOR THE WORST: DO YOU SOMETIMES WISH EARLY DISMISS OUT OF FEAR

adult, black-and-white, body

“Mentally broken.”

INTRODUCTION

Have you ever had a moment of or moments in your life where you think something internally is wrong, but isn’t? I have spoken in the past about being a hypochondriac, where you might make something small and meaningless into something much bigger. For me, it has always been health, and I probably couldn’t be any healthier. Well, what is it, what has me thinking about poor health even in good health? Better yet, why do any of us build in our minds that we are worse off than we are in life. There are so many people with real problems, and here you are worry about nothing. So many sick people truly wish they could be in my shoes right now.

WHAT IS THE REAL FEAR

The fear that you are in poor health is actually a few factors. One of the reasons has to do with the idea that you fear tomorrow and the day after that, and so on. Meaning, the fear of aging is on so many people’s minds. We sometimes hope that we are sick so that we don’t have to deal with the idea of losing people close to us. But dying for you so young hurts so many people that it almost becomes selfish on your behalf to feel that way. Another fear comes from maybe not wanting to die, but the idea of dying never accomplishing your goals. So many are cut short of what they strive to become, and those are the stories that hurt the most. Other fears can also come into play as well: not amounting to what others may think of you, not wanting to live in financial straights, and fear of having too many expect too much of you and not being able to live up to the expectations.

DEALING WITH THE FEAR

Now, in dealing with these mental-emotional issues, you have to keep yourself busy with something you love in life. Because death is the inevitable, we all are going to perish one day. And constantly thinking about it can be a sign that ones life is empty. That is not to be mistaken with not having anything to do. It just means you need another outlet that will take your mind off of always thinking of the end. Yet, once you lose someone close to you, it becomes harder to push into the back of your mind. But controlling the mind will help you maintain your sanity and stress levels.

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HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE: INTO THE MIND OF THE BROKEN

broken, cry, crying

“Thee broken hearted.”

WHO ARE THEY

Those who are the broken hearted people in our society come from a wide range of backgrounds. Some of them grew up with hurt and pain in their lives while others came across it later on. They have dealt with so much hurt that now they have put the shoe on the other foot. Yet when they decide to hurt people, they hurt those who are innocent. I guess to them they feel if it can happen to me, and nothing is done, why not anyone else.

INTO THE LINE OF FIRE

You see someone you’re interested in getting to know, yet little do you know, they are broken. You want to either be their friend or partner in a relationship, but they have been upset by others over and over again. Now you are about to be their first victim. You’re a good person, but damn, how did you all of a sudden become their target. Everyone else ran away, but you literally walked straight into their cross hairs. Now, you’re about to feel the full grunt of years of abuse. Strap in and prepare for lift-off.

GOING DEEPER

I remember watching a movie by filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan entitled, “Split.” The movie is about a man with split personalities who kidnaps three young females. Everyday, the girls come in contact with a different personality, until he kills three and leaves one alive. He was about to kill the third, but once he saw her deep cuts on the wrist, he stated, “The broken ones are always the purest.” The girl had sliced her wrist, a sign of some internalized pain. Turns out she had been molested by her uncle for years, who now has custody over her. The broken people’s hurt runs so deep, it can go back until childhood and last forever.

IN THEIR WAKE LIES CARNAGE

Problem with those who have been hurt is that they generally hurt others. Those people at times are so hurt that they hurt others, and the chain reaction leads to a society of damaged people. We never get into the minds of the hurt, the broken, the damaged. Because if you could see deep within them, they hurt, they cut their wrist, all because they want to turn people away from them. Hurt others and themselves so they don’t appear attractive so they can have an excuse to remain aloof. Yet what they really want is someone who truly loves, truly cares, sometimes, someone who is just as broke as them who understands why they hurt.

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PHYSICALLY HEALTHY, BUT MENTALLY HURT: HOW TO FIX THIS SITUATION

Related image

“Where does your hurt come from?”

FINE ON THE INSIDE, HURT ON THE INSIDE

What happens in life when you feel good health wise? Better than you have ever felt in your life, but you still are not happy. That is the feeling of so many people. They feel sick and go to the doctor’s office only to find out they’re good. So what is the issue with them feeling so bad? I have been down this road where I feel hurt but I am not hurt. What could it possibly be that is making me hurt so bad. And I have written in prior posts how I have dealt with depression in my life. Where does this come from?

PLACES OF ORIGIN

Now, we can look to all these scientific reasons why we are physically healthy but mentally broken. It could be a chemical imbalance, or you are worrying about issues that are out of your control. People who consistently stress are the hypochondriacs and more severe are those who suffer from Munchausen Syndrome. Is there a definite way to cure such issues with people internally? Will there ever come a day where we figure out a cure for hurt, anxiety, and depression; best guess is no.

STEPS

There are ways that you can fix such issues. Now, that doesn’t mean everyone will be cured, but there are ways to treat. And even means of treating for those unable to afford clinical treatment.

  1. Admit that you are hurt and in pain. Knowing what the issue is, is important in finding a treatment.
  2. Be honest with yourself and be able to decipher if the problem is something within or outside. I say this because a lot of people have problems stemming from themselves. Yet they need someone else to shift blame to besides themselves.
  3. Next, know and understand that you are not alone with the issue that you have in life. So many deal with the same problems that you have to bear.
  4. Find a means of sharing your thoughts of how you feel in life. This is why I blog, write my books, and screenplays. Finding a way to cope with all you have to deal with by expressing yourself and getting it out into the world. Know you will be critiqued, but it’s about the bigger picture.
  5. Realize that putting yourself out there and excepting yourself removes the power others could potentially have to use your hurt against you.
  6. From taking back control over yourself and sharing with the world, you have the confidence to persevere. Living your truth is the most powerful realization in the world.
  7. Continue to persevere, but don’t forget for one moment where you used to be once you get to where your happiness takes you. It’s far too easy to get lost and digress back to those hurt times.

CONCLUSION

Above all, happiness is such an ambiguous term. What does that really mean? What does healthy living really mean? Some people never smoke and get cancer, while others drink a lot and live to great ages. Some people will have an abundance of wealth and lack satisfaction, while others live middle class and always remain content. Finding your balance is the main focus when living the good life.

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ALL EYES ON YOU: WHY YOU THINK SOMEONE IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT YOU

Image result for POINT AND LAUGH

“Why we think they’re all laughing.”

Why at times in our minds when we walk into a room, do we think that everyone is watching us or talking about us? This inner feeling that the people around us have this feeling that they don’t want to express how they feel, but it’s present. This mentality that someone or everyone is watching you may not be as serious as you may think. It can be a real mental problem that you as that person have that you have to work out internally. Well, why might we feel this way even from some of the most confident people?

A reason we feel this way is because there is something wrong with us that we know exist. And if someone is intently looking at us, then they have figured out the thing that is wrong. And if they figured out the thing that is wrong without our input, then what else do they know that I haven’t told them. When you are uncomfortable about something that you hope no one knows about, it can be a very debilitating feeling. This feeling can keep us from making friends, dating, or even coexisting in our daily lives. So how do we combat this problem that we have built internally?

Well, you have to learn to be confident in who you are because people can feel it. When you lack confidence, it’s almost as if there is a light bulb over your head that says I am unsure. So this light follows you everywhere because it is in your body language. From the way your head drops when you walk into a room or even how you talk without letting people fully hear what is coming out of your mouth. Your entire aura speaks I am not sure of myself. And what person is uninteresting enough to want to be around if they feel this way.So if you want to stop feeling this sense of internal insecurity, you have to address the real issue. The real issue may be something you’re hiding that you don’t want others to see or know.

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WHY DO SOME PEOPLE TEND TO WANT TO HOLD ON TO INTERNAL PAIN

Related image

“Why hold on when you don’t need to do so?”

Holding on to internalized pain is something that so many people do on a daily basis. And I am not referring to the people who seek out therapy as means of getting out of a dark place. I am referring to the people who can change their lives. The people who can move from a place of pain and live a good life on the other side. They refuse to do so because in some weird way it makes them unique to say that they have this problem. It’s a way to get attention from those around them. And if they cure themselves of whatever it is they’re going through, then what are they to do now. So they hold on to their problems because they never want to feel like they’re not special.

Only problem with these types of people is that they actually start to annoy the ones close to them. At first, everyone was trying to help them. And loving the attention makes this person stay in that mind-frame. But after a while, those that cared about you will eventually give you an automaton. That’s when you realized that you have gone from being someone they wanted to help to a burden on the family. This could ultimately be the wake up call that some people need in life. But there are still others that are the “me” people who you just have to separate yourself from; for good. They will only further cause you to become more enraged by their lack of taking responsibility for their actions. Now my question is, “Where does it come from within that makes a person want to hold on to pain besides a fear of not being special anymore?”

Another reason people who can change choose to still hold on is because once you release you’re expected to do better in life. Putting yourself in the know means leaving behind how you once thought to move into this new space of peace. So many want to not only stay in their place of turmoil, but want you to join them. Now why would anyone want someone else or many people to join them in turmoil? The reason being that no one wants to live alone wallowing in in their own garbage. They love to see not only other people with them, but other people who are successful.And success is important because if the once successful person is now wallowing in garbage, now that is confirmation in the hurt person’s head that thank God they didn’t attempt at life to change. Because in the end, who truly want to look in the mirror and say I have a problem and it starts with me. Yet, the more you are able to, the more you move into a space of internal peace.

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