I’M NOT QUIET OR LONELY, JUST IN THOUGHT: WHY DO WE ASSUME INTROVERTED IS UNHAPPY

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“Being to yourself gives you time to reflect.”


A lot of people throughout my life have told me that I am an introverted person. They have asked me why am I so stand off-ish or why do I like being so lonely. But there is a reason why I have become the person that I am today. For starters, I am an introverted person, but I am not stand off-ish nor am I lonely. Because stand off-ish people are unaware of self so they have a hard time in conversations with substance. And there is also a vast difference between someone who is alone and lonely. I am a person who spends time alone, but I am far from lonely. But how does a person be alone and not lonely? Aren’t they one of the same? Yes, they are, but to an extent. So why do we perceive people to be lonely and stand off-ish, or even disconnected when they don’t converse as much?

Well the reason we give people these types of labels has a lot to do with being human. When you are a human, we all want and yearn for some level of companionship in our lives. It can come in many different forms: doesn’t matter if it is a pet or a friend, or even a monogamous relationship. We all want to be close to someone or something that makes us feel like we exist on Earth. But you can also have people around you and still feel alone and shut out. Well, how is that the case? It’s because not everyone is meant to be in your life. And you should really assess who you allow into your space before you make the leap to bring them close to you. These people not meant to be in your life are the leaches who will suck you for everything you got, and then they’re gone once they have what they have come for.

Another reason why we look at people who are to themselves as lonely is because it’s what is associated with depression and anxiety. People who suffer from these illness typically exemplify the characteristics of a person who is lonely. They feel uncomfortable when put in social settings because of their own insecurities. So they typically shy away from people and keep to themselves. And there is a great deal of truth to this claim. Because I am a person who has been kept back because I have dealt with these internal issues in my life. Throughout life, I have been self conscious, depressed, lacked confidence, and anxious. So a lot of times I strayed from so many social situations because I felt this way. But it wasn’t until I became an adult I realized who I really was: which goes back to what I said earlier about self awareness. And that is the key to understanding yourself and others to understands themselves as well.

In the end, I have learned a few things by being alone. I have learned to have a great deal of patience because the solitude forces you to be still. You’re in a space alone with your own thoughts. So you have to do a lot of reflecting on your life. You have to look up until this point in life and be happy with where you are and where you are going. This is the moment you become self-aware. I also learned to have an objective opinion because I am not dealing with only the intricacies of my own peer group. So being around different people than myself in society allows me to be more practical. I am not a loner, I am reflecting; I am not lonely, I have plenty of people who love and care about me; I am introverted, but only because I have looked deep within self to find my purpose driven life; and I am not stand off-ish, I just usually stray away from conversations when I have nothing of substance to add. But what I have learned, is that the more time progress, the more people learn about me, the more they understand and respect who I am.


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