INNER PEACE: HOW TO CENTER YOURSELF

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“Being one with self.”


ONENESS

We have all seen people meditate, and yet I for one can say that it doesn’t do anything for me. But for the people who do it, they feel a sense of comfort that they have never felt before in their lives. As for me, I feel a sense of calm walking around the city and listening to music among the traffic. It sounds odd considering that I live in New York City to find a calm in the high traffic. But it does, it truly does feel calming to listen to soft rock, R&B, and or something closely related to walking the street. There is almost this montage feel I get in the moment.

WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU

Being able to center yourself is a very inspiring and motivating technique. You lose all the feel for whatever issue you might be dealing with in the moment. No matter what problem you might be dealing with, the calm in centering self is a crucial element to happiness. I feel sorry for those who are unable to stop and be in a moment with self without any distractions. For so many that can’t focus, their minds are moving at a hundred miles per hour and does not seem to want to slow down. So consider yourself blessed when you are able to find your calm.

FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T FOCUS

Now, as for those that can’t focus, hope is not lost. Find something that you love to do and incorporate that into your daily life. Meaning, if you find calm in a book and take public transportation to work, read on the bus. If that is the only time you might have, as simple as it might sound, could be the difference maker in happiness for that day on the job. You might like to day dream; well come up with scenarios of adventure on your way to or from your day job. Get lost inside of yourself in your own world, and you’ll surprise yourself how easy it is to be centered eventually.


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HYPOCHONDRIACS: WHY DO WE WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT OUR HEALTH

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“I feel fine, but something must be wrong.”


Do you know of anyone that might fall under the term of hypochondriac? Or better yet, are you one of those people who fall under this term? Hypochondriacs for those that are unfamiliar, are people with almost an obsessive feeling of illness from an undiagnosed condition. They are people who get a stomach ache and right off the back they know for a fact that they are dying of some form of cancer. Or for me at least, I have lost quite a bit of hair, so now I have this feeling of, “Oh my God, am I getting sick?” Or is it that I need to adjust my sleeping patterns and the food I eat. Because we worry so much, especially now in society than at any other point in history. And there may be some explained reason as to why someone might obsess over the idea of getting sick and feeling like they are worse than their true problem.

One of the reasons is that as people who are hypochondriacs, we tend to be more aware than the average person. And when I say aware, the idea of your mortality constantly sits in the back of your mind. And knowing this gives you a sense of urgency, so you don’t want to check out of the world too soon before you can accomplish your goals in life. Yes, death is inevitable, and something none of us can control, but no one wants to die young. Especially if there is so much that you have not yet accomplished. We freak out at the very thought of someone telling us we are ill. But what is crazy about hypochondriacs is that not only is there nothing wrong, we tend to be completely fine. And worrying sometimes brings upon stress that makes us more ill than the illness we fear that is inside of us. But what is another reason for hypochondria.

We also freak out over the idea that we are sick because in some weird psychological way, it makes us seek attention. We are typically lone types of people and we want someone to feel sympathy for us. Yes, that is a very me driven mentality to have, but it is true. Our side might hurt, and we immediately think, “Oh my God, I have Kidney disease.” When in reality we might just have a slight pain that eventually goes away. But we want to actually be sick so people can treat us like a special case. Our loved ones will galvanize and crowd around us, giving us their prayers. Sometimes hypochondriacs envision our own funerals, and how everyone mourns over us, then we play back in our minds what happened in our lives that brought us to the point of sickness, that ultimately led to death.

It all sounds crazy, and you know what it is crazy. In the end, hypochondriacs tend to be quite self-centered and overly aware. We’re sensitive to everything from the natural world, to the language we use among each other as people. And our sicknesses are almost the confirmation that we need to say something is wrong. It comes from a place of emptiness in our lives. Because anyone who receives fulfillment in life is not constantly thinking about death. They know it is a reality and just deal. But our mortality and the understanding of our mortality creeps hypochondriacs out. Yet, with that awareness comes the need to accomplish goals because we know we are not here on Earth but for a temporary stay.


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I’M NOT QUIET OR LONELY, JUST IN THOUGHT: WHY DO WE ASSUME INTROVERTED IS UNHAPPY

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“Being to yourself gives you time to reflect.”


A lot of people throughout my life have told me that I am an introverted person. They have asked me why am I so stand off-ish or why do I like being so lonely. But there is a reason why I have become the person that I am today. For starters, I am an introverted person, but I am not stand off-ish nor am I lonely. Because stand off-ish people are unaware of self so they have a hard time in conversations with substance. And there is also a vast difference between someone who is alone and lonely. I am a person who spends time alone, but I am far from lonely. But how does a person be alone and not lonely? Aren’t they one of the same? Yes, they are, but to an extent. So why do we perceive people to be lonely and stand off-ish, or even disconnected when they don’t converse as much?

Well the reason we give people these types of labels has a lot to do with being human. When you are a human, we all want and yearn for some level of companionship in our lives. It can come in many different forms: doesn’t matter if it is a pet or a friend, or even a monogamous relationship. We all want to be close to someone or something that makes us feel like we exist on Earth. But you can also have people around you and still feel alone and shut out. Well, how is that the case? It’s because not everyone is meant to be in your life. And you should really assess who you allow into your space before you make the leap to bring them close to you. These people not meant to be in your life are the leaches who will suck you for everything you got, and then they’re gone once they have what they have come for.

Another reason why we look at people who are to themselves as lonely is because it’s what is associated with depression and anxiety. People who suffer from these illness typically exemplify the characteristics of a person who is lonely. They feel uncomfortable when put in social settings because of their own insecurities. So they typically shy away from people and keep to themselves. And there is a great deal of truth to this claim. Because I am a person who has been kept back because I have dealt with these internal issues in my life. Throughout life, I have been self conscious, depressed, lacked confidence, and anxious. So a lot of times I strayed from so many social situations because I felt this way. But it wasn’t until I became an adult I realized who I really was: which goes back to what I said earlier about self awareness. And that is the key to understanding yourself and others to understands themselves as well.

In the end, I have learned a few things by being alone. I have learned to have a great deal of patience because the solitude forces you to be still. You’re in a space alone with your own thoughts. So you have to do a lot of reflecting on your life. You have to look up until this point in life and be happy with where you are and where you are going. This is the moment you become self-aware. I also learned to have an objective opinion because I am not dealing with only the intricacies of my own peer group. So being around different people than myself in society allows me to be more practical. I am not a loner, I am reflecting; I am not lonely, I have plenty of people who love and care about me; I am introverted, but only because I have looked deep within self to find my purpose driven life; and I am not stand off-ish, I just usually stray away from conversations when I have nothing of substance to add. But what I have learned, is that the more time progress, the more people learn about me, the more they understand and respect who I am.


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LIVING UP TO EXPECTATIONS: SHOULD I LISTEN TO OTHERS OR FOLLOW THE BEAT OF MY OWN DRUM

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“Stuck between what they think and how I think.”


Trying to please other people or live by how they view you is a struggle that most of us deal with on a daily basis. But if you’re one of the the few that are not as caught up in how others perceive you, you might have a happier life than most. And that happiness could be the main factor in your success in life. But what is it that makes people so stuck on what others think of them? Why do they need so many people’s approval before they start anything in life? It’s this need to fit into a world that might not even be doing you a favor. Yet you want so desperately to fit into this space.

One of the reasons people work to fit into this space is because as a species, we yearn for acceptance. But most of all, we want some form of companionship. It does not necessarily have to be some intimate relationship. But just enough so you don’t feel alone in the world. That lonesome feeling is why you need that other person or people’s input. Going through this world alone is one of the toughest aspects of facing life. You don’t even have to be dealing with a serious financial or health issue. We as humans are just built to want someone close to us. Someone who will talk to us when there is something bothering us. And who+ are you to communicate with when you’re alone?

Another reason we seek to gain the acceptance of other people is to not be looked at as an outsider. This is an action in our lives that adolescence deal with for the most part. But it doesn’t stop there; it goes into adulthood. You actually don’t start not caring how people feel until you’re almost done with life. But why not when you’re young? Why not have it built into your mind that this is who I am, and that’s that? Well, it has a lot to do with self-awareness. We are quite unaware of ourselves and lack a real defense mechanism. So we are not able to fend off the people who might look at us a certain way. Instead of making people accept you for you, and if they don’t get rid of them, we please them. Then again, the feat of listening to yourself and not others becomes real tough when it’s coming from family.

Here is the hardest part, going against your parent’s wishes. You have been taught since you were a child that going against what your parents want you do is being disobedient. But like I said in prior posts, parents know what’s good for in childhood, not as an adult. Yet when you become an adult it’s normal for them to want to steer you in a certain direction. But what if you found what you love elsewhere? Now you’re in this weird position on who to follow. You’re stuck on following your inner self or your parents. But ultimately, the choice will be up to you. See, in the end, we want to please too many people. Yet, how many people are trying to bend over backward to please you? You have to do what’s best for you, and you only. Because you’re the only one responsible for your success and happiness.


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