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“Who comes before who?”

My children are my world! My children are my everything! These are the words so may married couples utter when speaking about their children. The only problem is that how can a marriage withstand a situation where the children are the sole reason for being together. The reality is that it can’t last with children coming first. Well, isn’t that one of the premises for why we as a society promote marriage? We promote marriage so that children can see an example for how to lead their lives. But what type of life is worth living with everything revolving around your children? But also, what marriage can last that way.

I’ll tell you, no ones’ marriage last long. Because if everything is around the kid, what happens as the children age. Yes, when a child is an infant, they need all your undivided attention. You are not only their parents, but you’re also establishing a trust between them and you. They are seeing a familiar face that they can depend on, on a continuous basis. So at least the first 10 to 12 years you have to dedicate so much time to them. But what happens once the child reaches middle school. The parents have been about the kid for so long that they neglect each other. And why is middle school such a pivotal time period in the life of a child?

Middle school is the beginning of the adolescent stage of life for a young male or female. This is when children start to take on their own identities. It’s when peer pressure arises and the need to conform to a group becomes important. So they stray away from their parents and start to assimilate into these groups. Now the married husband and wife are at home with each other all the time. And given they have dedicated so much of their to kids, they have nothing in common now that kids are gone. So what comes next is a trial separation and then a divorce. Which is why making children the focus is not a good thing.

See, in the end, people follow certain principles because they think it makes them admirable. They follow the belief that kids come first because we push this to them in our society. But the problem with this ideology is that kids are not home forever. And as those children age, they’ll take on their own personalities. Once this happens it will force you and your significant other to continue a relationship that was lost a long time ago. What was once a connection is now severed. Severed because you made the focus of your existence off of individuals that will and must go off and have their own lives; leaving you behind.

Author: faheemjackson44

I am from Racine, Wisconsin where I was raised until I graduated high school back in the year 2006. That entire time growing up in my mother's house, I was a student athlete. My goal was to embark on a general business career or athletics. But injuries through sports stopped a sports path, so I decided upon business with a focus in marketing. While attending undergraduate school at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, I began to write screenplays in my senior year. At first it was for fun, but I quickly learned writing allow me to transfer negative energy into characters I created. This led to a decrease in depressing mood swings, which in turn boosted my quality of life. After undergraduate school in May of 2011, I move to New York City for graduate school. While pursuing my MBA, I continued to write screenplays, but always wanted to write novels as well. I finished graduate school back in the year 2014, but wrote screenplays until I began thinking of my first short film, first First Day Fears. While finishing my fifth feature length screenplay, I started to write my first novel this year. So far, I have finished my first short film and working on my next one (Freedomless Speech), and recently self published my first novel (The Boy Who Could Talk To God) and short stories book (Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Volume 1). My feature length screenplays have been put on temporary hold to finish my short films and books, but I am making good progress on my sixth feature length screenplay. With year 2017 ending, I am currently writing my novel Precinct 86 and Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Vol. 2. I have started teaching myself photography and will pursuing that by summer of 2018, along with my videography, podcast later on, and more research for my documentary.

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