daylight, grass, landscape

“The long arduous path that is success.”

Have you ever had the feeling like you’re not in the place you want to be in life? Like you should be or thought you would be a lot farther by this point? Well, I am about to turn thirty years of age and I am working toward a career as a writer. While working toward this career, I am working two part-time jobs. And that sounds fine when you are a twenty years old, but not when you are thirty. Because when you are thirty, you are supposed to be a certain place by this time. You should be on your way to finding your first starter home and thinking about children, not writing. But I am pursuing a career I love, rather than a job I have to go to everyday.

So here I sit, in this moment writing. And to cope with the long road to writing success, I try to observe those that started around my age. And you see they had their first success at about mid to late thirties. Now I gave myself a ten year time period to break in as a successful writer of screenplays, playwright, and novels; with a little lightweight film/theatre directing. Now that I have gotten myself out of the way, what are you pursuing that your life isn’t where you thought it would be? We have all these visions when we are children of the things we will do as adults. But when we become adults, everything is up in the air once you are in the world on your own.

And everything is really up in the air if you have no clue what you want to do with your life. You typically spend all your time working, then coming home and existing. So the days turn into weeks, then weeks to months, and months to years. And before you know it, life has past them by, and they have not attempted at anything in life. And that is the scary feeling people have of not quite being there yet. They even see people their age making life decisions, going in the right direction. Yet they are still not there themselves. So they find any reason to avoid people they know out of shame. Why, well because we always compare ourselves to people that are around our age.

But what happens once people younger than yourself start making moves in life beyond you. That’s when you really start to feel uncomfortable. Seeing a new younger generation making moves that you feel you have not made yet. And what’s crazy, that young age group will feel the same once they reach my age. See, in the end, we don’t want to live with the failures. But we also don’t want to live with the idea of people saying I told you so. Trying at something and constantly failing at it over and over again. But I remember reading a quote by Thomas Edison which stated, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” But the real question is, how do you know when you’re close? (PERSONAL WEBSITE) (FAN PAGE)   

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“Who comes before who?”

My children are my world! My children are my everything! These are the words so may married couples utter when speaking about their children. The only problem is that how can a marriage withstand a situation where the children are the sole reason for being together. The reality is that it can’t last with children coming first. Well, isn’t that one of the premises for why we as a society promote marriage? We promote marriage so that children can see an example for how to lead their lives. But what type of life is worth living with everything revolving around your children? But also, what marriage can last that way.

I’ll tell you, no ones’ marriage last long. Because if everything is around the kid, what happens as the children age. Yes, when a child is an infant, they need all your undivided attention. You are not only their parents, but you’re also establishing a trust between them and you. They are seeing a familiar face that they can depend on, on a continuous basis. So at least the first 10 to 12 years you have to dedicate so much time to them. But what happens once the child reaches middle school. The parents have been about the kid for so long that they neglect each other. And why is middle school such a pivotal time period in the life of a child?

Middle school is the beginning of the adolescent stage of life for a young male or female. This is when children start to take on their own identities. It’s when peer pressure arises and the need to conform to a group becomes important. So they stray away from their parents and start to assimilate into these groups. Now the married husband and wife are at home with each other all the time. And given they have dedicated so much of their to kids, they have nothing in common now that kids are gone. So what comes next is a trial separation and then a divorce. Which is why making children the focus is not a good thing.

See, in the end, people follow certain principles because they think it makes them admirable. They follow the belief that kids come first because we push this to them in our society. But the problem with this ideology is that kids are not home forever. And as those children age, they’ll take on their own personalities. Once this happens it will force you and your significant other to continue a relationship that was lost a long time ago. What was once a connection is now severed. Severed because you made the focus of your existence off of individuals that will and must go off and have their own lives; leaving you behind.