WORKING WITH FAMILY: SHOULD YOU WORK WITH RELATIVES

People Looking at Laptop Computer

“Know what you’re doing.”


family first

Now, you may all may think that it could be a great idea to hire your family or work with family. Now, this can be a serious problem or the greatest thing to ever happen. You have to make sure that everyone is one the right page when working together. Make sure the business comes first when you are with family even friends. So if that is all on the up and up then you could see yourselves being very successful in business because since family is involved you already have the trust in place. But there are those times where this can be pretty dicey depending on how your relationship can go with your family.

way too comfortable

When you work with people that you are cool with, it can be too much comfort to where business could lack. You don’t want to see yourself in a position where people are not attentive because they feel like they are working for family. They may also be more prompted to talk back to you where they would never do anything like it when working for someone else. So make sure they know you are their employer or that you guys are good business associates working together.

i won’t say do or don’t

I can’t say it is a bad or good idea. It will be something you have to figure out on your own. I can’t tell you who to hire or who to work for in life. This is tough especially considering you want to make money with someone you trust. You want to be in a pleasant environment, and who more than family. So as time progress you will see who you can depend on and who you can’t when it comes to work. Initially you can’t see it, but time will tell. Hopefully things work themselves out because them again, these are people you have to see and deal with outside of work.


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HIRING KIN AND FRIN: SHOULD YOU EMPLOY PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU

 

adults, apron, business

“See how they work first.”


a family affair

When making the decision to open a business, there are some age old questions regarding the business. And one of those questions is, should you hire family to do the job. And so many people feel that hiring family is a major problem. One reason being is that people don’t feel the need to work as hard when it’s for family. Another problem you run in to is the idea of pay. People who are family, and even friends want to make a certain amount of money just because we are close to each other. And that can prove to be a problem if you look at a business from the standpoint of performance. So what do you do in the case of hiring?

wait a while

People don’t want to hire friends and family because of the issues that come with it. But you have to see first how things pan out. Only disregard keeping them once it has been proven they are not up to par. Because now you have to make a decision whether to keep them or watch your business fail. But initially it is too hard to tell. You might even have them show up and prove to be better employees than hiring people you don’t know. Only problem is if worse comes to worse, can you be the one to pull the plug on the entire operation? Or can you be the one to pull the plug on them? These are the decisions you may have to make for your business.

upsides of outsourcing

People who you hire from outside of your friends and family will work the job on average more efficiently. Why, well they are not aware of who you are in life. So they are just coming to work for a new business. People close to you may feel that since they know you, there is this preconceived idea as to how you will run a business. That lack of know from the outside is just you Average Joe opening a business. People are showing up because they need work, not interested in trying to figure you out.


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PRESSURE TO PURSUE: WHAT TO DO WHEN FEELING TO PURSUE CERTAIN CAREER INTEREST

burnout, close-up, composition

“Who should I listen to: me or them?”


family first

A lot of times, when we make decisions concerning our lives, we inform family members. But what happens when the very people paying for your education want you to pursue a career that they want you to pursue. How do you deal with this in life? Because we all have something that we want to pursue and then things others want us to do. Well, what choice do you make because we all want to please those around us. But we also want to be happy as well in life. So what to do, what to do.

cut loose

Easier said than done, but be prepared to cut loose. And when I say cut loose, I mean be prepared to have them not only be disappointed, but travel this road alone. Because if you are not what others might want then, you will ultimately not have their support either. And that is when we typically listen to those around us. We want to continue to eat off of them. Yet when you break free from others, you can make your own decisions. But still, we love the snacks, they taste too good. And breaking away from them means eating crumbs. No one wants to eat crumbs, we all want to eat well.

give them reasons to care

We want people to follow our vision, but the problem is that it’s your vision. And you can’t expect people, even loved ones to care about your vision. In reality, they will be the hardest critics of your passions. Because since they are family, they will assume they know you more than you. You will not be taken serious until you put your time and energy into your work. Just saying I want to do things is talk. Put yourself in harms way to succeed, and see what happens. When you fail and give in, that is when family tells you why you should have listened in the beginning. Proving them wrong is on you. Because until you succeed or at least show progress, they will never change their minds.

your vision is your vision

Like I said before, don’t expect your family to care about your vision when it’s yours. The images are thoughts swirling through your mind, not theirs. So you have to make things happen on your own so people can see where you’re coming from. But just saying I have dreams mean nothing. Have actual plans and goals, and consistency within them. You’ll be respected much more in the long haul.


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BLENDED FAMILIES: HOW THE FACE OF FAMILY HAS CHANGED

Cute Family Picture

“We are one.”


the blend

What is a blended family? A blended family is a married couple or dating couple that brings together the two sides of a family that was in progress before meeting the other person. And that has always involved the children from previous relationships. Someone might come in with two children and the other person might come in with three or four children.

Whatever the case may be, the blended family is something that is fresh and new in the American landscape. Because for years there has been this stigma on dating or marrying someone with children. But when the two are bringing together children from former relationships it’s a different dynamic.

work-a-bility

Now does this way of raising a family work in society? And if this were 30 plus years ago you might say no. But in reality, the blended family might actually work better than you expected because the two sides have already this mutual agreement. Meeting someone with no kids it’s tougher because they don’t understand the struggle.

Or better yet, they are not going to understand the sacrifices you have to make, or they have to make now that their is a child in the mix that’s not theirs. But what are other blended families that present a new challenge?

ethno-religious

What happens when the new blended family is of a different ethnic group or religion? This working is tough because you are now introducing yourself to not only a new family, but also a new relationship with society, cultural beliefs, and approaches to dealing in life. Meaning what if a Jewish and Muslim man and woman meet with children.

That is an interesting cultural dynamic because you have two groups who have long dealt with serious issues from a region of the world going back a long time. How to do you make that work not just and that person, but also with families?

love conquers all; maybe

They say that love conquers all, but dos it really? Because I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn’t. You need more than just love to exist in society. It’s unfortunate, but you have to take into consideration the world a child is being brought into at the moment. You love each other, but how will life be for them.

So there is nothing wrong with love, but what are the impacts on the kids’ lives.


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PARENTAL MENTAL: HOW YOUR CHILD’S MIND IS SHAPED BY YOU AS THE PARENT/S

adult, adventure, baby

“You give them confidence or take it away.”


IT’S YOUR JOB

So many young people are entering the world afraid of their chances at success. But whose job is it to prepare them for the world? I’ll tell you whose job it is, it’s the parents. Your job as a parent/s is to make sure your child/children have the ability to say to themselves, “Life is tough, but I can do this, I can make it.” Yet there are so many who can’t cope because mom and dad didn’t properly show them the way. Now the kid is an adult thinking it’s society’s job to raise them.

HOW DO YOU GIVE IT

Parents are to give their children the confidence that they have had in order to make it in the world. But that’s assuming the mind of the parent/s are in the right place. How can a parent shape the mind of the child if theirs is so ruined. So that means now you have ruined parents raising children that will enter our society, who then in turn affect all of our lives. And you give them the confidence by making them realize that failures will come, but ultimately there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that they also are great in every shape and form, yet they must prove this by exemplifying it in the world.

HOW “WE” SUFFER

Notice I said how we suffer with the we in quotations. And the we is referring to the masses of people in the dominant society. When parents don’t give their children the proper guidance and encouragement, everyone else suffers who has to come across them. And that doesn’t just mean parents who were absentee, I’m also referring to parents who raise their kids making them think every kid should be handed something for nothing. Teaching them that their 50% is someone else’s 100%. Then they step into the world and realize that their 50 is 50, and my 100 is 100. And that my 100 will always beat your child’s 50.

IN MY OWN LIFE

Growing up for my sisters and I at least, you just knew their was nothing that was going to be given to you. You had to put forth effort in everything you did in life. And you were also in the know that you were going to stink at a lot more than you were going to be good at, so find what you’re good at and work to achieve greatness. Because inevitably the world could care less about your tears when you have nothing to show. It will be you who people judge, not how you grew up or any downfall you may have encountered in life.


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KWANZAA: DAY 1, UMOJA

Image result for umoja

“Community involvement.”


Yesterday was day one of the celebration Kwanzaa. Day one focuses on Umoja, which is the community, familial, and ethnic unity. For those of you that don’t know what Kwanzaa is as a holiday, it was created back in the late 1960’s as a celebration to acknowledge those of African heritage. There are seven core principles, and yesterday was the day of that principle Umoja. And if you are African American, what does Umoja mean to you? I grew up in a predominantly African American family, but we celebrated Christmas my whole life. Now that I am an adult, I more and more lean toward the celebration of Kwanzaa. One of the reasons is because of the capitalist view of the holiday that is Christmas. But that is just a small aspect of the Christmas holiday. A second reason is that when you come from such a dismantled community, a holiday celebrating the uplifting of you becomes quite important.

And what I have noticed about the holiday is that it has grown year by year in popularity. More people are joining and leaving Christmas in greater numbers. Because of what it promotes, which brings me to day one. The community, family, and ethnic group’s togetherness. Nothing else in America is designed to uplift Black people. So with an introduction of Kwanzaa, it becomes very special. Bringing together friends and family, members of the community, working on a common core belief. And that belief is to take care of the people around you. Not just the ones who you share a kinship with, but the ones who live right next door. And with so much fragmentation, who could blame anyone for not wanting to take part in the festivities.

Day one is very important, if not the most important day because without that close bind between friends, family, and community, it becomes impossible to have the other six days that lead up to the last day. So I say Umoja, build relationships and get o know those around you. As well as strengthen the ties of kinship that already exist.


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PULLING YOUR WEIGHT: WHY FAMILY IS MORE THAN JUST BLOOD

Image result for family

“It’s all our job to pitch in.”


My grandmother grew up in the south and she used to tell me about how she at an early age had to be a farm hand. Not just her, but any siblings that were born during that time and old enough to work. Why did they have to work the farm, besides being told in her time period they had no choice, aiding the family. Everyone had to play a vital role in helping to move this family. It wasn’t one person had to work and everyone else kind of lived off of their hard work. But a lot has changed during that time period. Because my grandmother was born in the early 1930’s right after the Great Depression hit. So everyone really had to put their best foot forward. This was the all-encompassing group known as the Silent Generation where everyone just kept their mouths closed and did as they were told: work.

Some like to think that the introduction of the welfare system is what kind of made people remove themselves from the mind-frame of everyone pitching into the family. Because what was supposed to be a small contribution to help you get on your feet, has turned into a crutch. The thought process of something for nothing took hold. And the entire concept of family pulling their weight began to diminish. People in today’s society have this thought that just because we are related by blood that means something. Yet even in a family, you have to earn just as much as everyone else. If one person is contributing and that contribution ever gets lost, then the entire house falls down. So you need more people putting into the pot for the pot to sustain.

Because the core meaning of family is more centralized to just your parents and siblings. Then you have your overall family which consists of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. And last, you have the distant family members which are those you never see except once every so few years. But your first and foremost obligation is to your immediate family which is your spouse and children. This is the unit that receives the most attention and the most aid first. So you have to make sure everyone in this unit is doing their job, then look outward to the rest of family. But in the end, everyone must pull their weight. There can’t be one person working and everyone else kid of laid back on the sidelines. Because once it gets to that point, people have lost all respect for you and it comes too easy. And that’s when you either tell them to change or cut ties.


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