“Friendzone is a hard zone.”
I was contributing to a discussion on a Facebook page of a woman I know who was having a hard time regarding finding male friends. And she was saying how it’s hard to have male friends because there is always some way of bringing the situation back to him liking and pursuing her. And I started to think about that, can men and women truly be friends, given the two are heterosexual. Because it’s obvious they can be friends when one or both of them are gay. But what happens when both are attracted to the opposite sex, but also are physically attractive. Can two people find each other attractive and still be friends? Because men and women are biologically on this Earth to procreate, but socially we are expected to behave a certain way in certain situations.
That’s what is interesting about both genders, is that there is this scientific piece, then there is the societal element. Society says, you are supposed to give the other person space when they just want to be friends and respect that space. Science dictates that I am attracted to this person, and want to intimate with his person. So what happens is that the friendship sometimes degrades when one person is trying to date the other person, while the one being pursued just wants to be friends.So how do you get across to the person that you just want a friendship, yet you know how we are designed as men and women?
This is all the reasons above why so many women have their gay friends. This is so they don’t have to deal with the stress of having a guy every single second of the day trying to create means of getting with her. She can also go to the night spots that this guy frequent and have a good time as well. But on top of this, she can also have the comfort of being able to hang with her guy friend and receive man advice with no pretense. Now, on the other hand, be careful if you want someone to just be your friend and they are fine, but then you turn around and change up the contract. This is also known to happen as well. You can’t hold someone to a friendship and then you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.
In the end, men and women can ultimately be friends, but I think that happens with time and maturity. Your objective when you are a young man is to meet women and date. So when you come across a woman that you find attractive, the last thing you’re thinking is let’s hang out. You would almost sound phony in situations trying to act as if you do want to be friends as a means of getting close to her. But once people do age, they take on certain viewpoints making it easier to have opposite sex friends.
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This was an interesting read, I’ve had this conversation many times lately and I respect this viewpoint. Many of my friends believe that it’s not possible but I think that there’s a certain mindset that goes along with it. Thank you for this!
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And that mindset comes with time. I think we as men are able to be friends with women as we get older because everything doesn’t revolve so much around physical with women.
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