WE CAN DO IT: WHY YOUNG GIRLS AREN’T PUSHED LIKE THE BOYS

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“Encourage them young.”


when they’re young

For some reason, we don’t push girls in school like we do the boys. And for that reason, I think that boys are way more prepared than girls are when it comes to entering life. That doesn’t mean that girls are not capable, but we don’t push them out there like boys. We encourage them to lay in the cut and take orders rather than make decisions. They are told to be lady like and remain quiet. This can stunt a person’s growth considering you have to be willing to stand out and stand up in order to be heard. And if you don’t, what is that saying again, “A closed mouth don’t get fed.”

we cripple them

“Oh come on, you should be doing something less difficult.” I have heard these words told to girls growing up. “You’re so pretty, get yourself a rich man and let him take care of you.” We don’t tell young boys this same thing because we want and expect our young boys to stand out and be great. So there is no leaning in for boys because it’s what you’re supposed to do your whole life. As for the girls, you should be more silent and docile. And that will get you nowhere in life. We act as if girls are fragile little creatures who can’t fend for themselves. And when they try and fail we say, “I told you so.” “Stop trying to be like the boys.” But failure is the only way to become successful in life.

biology is not society

Men are the greater physically and that means when dealing with us women have had to be thinkers as a creature. Which means women are in better alignment to learn when placed in academia than we are as guys. But when a young girl is told at a young age or not encouraged she now as to catch up to the opposite gender that she was born to be ahead of initially. So society has norms that cripples the mind of a biological creature that has been given the awareness to exist at times better. I am not saying women are better, we just have our skill sets. And when it comes to thinking out of a situation, women have to in nature. It’s not that much of a jump in school and in career.


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HETEROSEXUALITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY: BORN WITH OR EVOLUTION

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“Are we born to know?”


SEXUALITY

Over the recent years, especially since Gay  marriage has become legalized across the country, the topic of what is born with not born with have taken place. Are you born Gay? But what I would also ask in addition to that question is are you born heterosexual as well? Because from my understanding of what sexuality is, sexuality is defined as the person’s orientation or feelings. It is a person’s way of expressing themselves in society sexually, as well as their biological, belief systems, physical, and behavioral makeup. Yet, there is something that is odd about anyone saying how they were born, no matter their sexual orientation. And the reasons below are why.

HUMANITY DEVELOPMENT

The above video is of a TedTalk on the most influential aspects to a child’s development. And when you watch the video, you will hear how certain aspects of our upbringing contribute to the way we grow: our country, religious beliefs, how you are nurtured, your community, your education, and your advancement of your civilization. All are important to the development of a child. Because in this initial stage, you will start to maintain a lot of your ideologies you hold on to for the rest of your life. Now what does this have to do with sexuality, a lot. Because you develop aspects of who you are that makes you, you. Only reason why sexuality doesn’t show itself at certain points is because your external factors (religion, community, family, friends, societal constructs/norms) in addition to internal.

WHO DECIDES WHAT IS NATURAL

Now given we know a little bit about the development of humans, the controversy besides being born with a sexual preference that makes the conversation difficult, is what is natural. There actually can be a deference in what is natural and what is natural. I know the repetition sounds odd, but what is natural to us in nature and what is natural based on society constructs is different. So when looking at sexuality, having sex with any human is natural. But who you have sex with being deemed unnatural is the construct. It’s how we design societies to be.So heterosexuality is the considered by nature to be more pure in form because you need a male’s sperm in combination with the female egg to make a human. Two women and two men can’t procreate to make a human. So we use that to say what is natural. But natural is defined as existing without mankind intervention. So in regards to nature both heterosexuality and homosexuality can be seen as natural. Even though skeptics may say man through force influences one over the other creates certain outcomes, the majority of people who are either hetero- or homo- weren’t influenced by force to be.

SO WHAT IS IT REALLY

Overall, the human is an evolving, developing, adapting creature. Born to know your sexual orientation is a stretch, yet we all have the internal makeup for what love, emotions, and sexuality feels like. We all have attractions we develop, and no one knows for certain why we develop attractions as humans. Scientist will of course say evolving to have attractions keep us going as a species. But being born with a sexual preference would almost aim at stating that we are conscious at a time when we don’t even know we have a consciousness. In my opinion, we try to make sense of our emotions by saying born because we either want to make our case stronger, or you’re fighting against the social construct that places emphasis on how you live to be unnatural.


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YOU DON’T NEED ME, SO BYE: WHY DO MEN LEAVE WOMEN FOR RISING ABOVE

adult, arrival, beard

“Why sometimes our equal could be a turnoff.”


Men are protectors, we are providers, especially when it comes to the women in our lives. But what happens when that woman is not only a provider, but she is just as bossed-up as you? We always say in public how we love ourselves a single independent woman, but to a large degree, we love to have women that need us. And when I say need us, I don’t mean needy. There is a difference between need and needy. The needy is more clingy and can’t leave your side which tends to be quite irritating. But the need would be something as little as changing a tire or paying for a meal at a restaurant. Because we are raised from a young age these are the things you are supposed to do for the women in your life.

Yet in today’s society, women are in more privileged positions than they were in the past. Yet unlike the past, they are having a harder time finding love. Why, is it because the access to quality men has lessoned? No, it’s because there are so many men who feel, “Oh, she has everything together already, she doesn’t need someone like me.” “A man like me would be more suitable for a women who could use the help.” Meaning, a woman who is a teacher would need the guy more than the woman who is a boss like an Oprah Winfrey. We look at Oprah and say, “Why would you need a guy, you have everything under control already.”

And that is what causes the disconnect. Because we as men look at finances as this end all. When a woman is of financial means, we look at her as being both man and woman. She is a man because she is bossed-up, but a woman because of the obvious. So I don’t think guys are intimidated by her success. So many of us look at her like, she has the situation herself, we need to be with the woman who could use the help. What help do you need if you are already in the position that we seek to fill. Now women on the other hand don’t see the situation as such. To them, they could use someone in their lives just as much as the woman not on her level.

To her, if she is a boss, it gives her more reason to need the relationship. The relationship serves as the stable environment outside the hectic world of her business career. To her, you can’t put a price on relationships, yet on the other hand it’s what we are as men. Because in the end, we are raised to be productive as men. Money is not everything, but a financial contribution is a major reason why men introduce ourselves into the lives of women. Being a financial provider is a major aspect of how we define manhood. Making money means, the mortgage, rent, utilities, food, transportation, clothes, healthcare, travel/leisure, education, and care for kids. It’s an entirety that makes us want to be men of financial means. So when women already have it, we feel her life is already filled.


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GENDER FRIENDSHIPS: CAN MEN AND WOMEN REALLY JUST BE FRIENDS

Image result for gender friends

“Friendzone is a hard zone.”


I was contributing to a discussion on a Facebook page of a woman I know who was having a hard time regarding finding male friends. And she was saying how it’s hard to have male friends because there is always some way of bringing the situation back to him liking and pursuing her. And I started to think about that, can men and women truly be friends, given the two are heterosexual. Because it’s obvious they can be friends when one or both of them are gay. But what happens when both are attracted to the opposite sex, but also are physically attractive. Can two people find each other attractive and still be friends? Because men and women are biologically on this Earth to procreate, but socially we are expected to behave a certain way in certain situations.

That’s what is interesting about both genders, is that there is this scientific piece, then there is the societal element. Society says, you are supposed to give the other person space when they just want to be friends and respect that space. Science dictates that I am attracted to this person, and want to intimate with his person. So what happens is that the friendship sometimes degrades when one person is trying to date the other person, while the one being pursued just wants to be friends.So how do you get across to the person that you just want a friendship, yet you know how we are designed as men and women?

This is all the reasons above why so many women have their gay friends. This is so they don’t have to deal with the stress of having a guy every single second of the day trying to create means of getting with her. She can also go to the night spots that this guy frequent and have a good time as well. But on top of this, she can also have the comfort of being able to hang with her guy friend and receive man advice with no pretense. Now, on the other hand, be careful if you want someone to just be your friend and they are fine, but then you turn around and change up the contract. This is also known to happen as well. You can’t hold someone to a friendship and then you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.

In the end, men and women can ultimately be friends, but I think that happens with time and maturity. Your objective when you are a young man is to meet women and date. So when you come across a woman that you find attractive, the last thing you’re thinking is let’s hang out. You would almost sound phony in situations trying to act as if you do want to be friends as a means of getting close to her. But once people do age, they take on certain viewpoints making it easier to have opposite sex friends.


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TRUTH BE TOLD: DO WOMEN REALLY WANT US ALL THE TIME?

“Do they really want us like we think they do?”


When observing monogamous relationships, we seem to think that it is men and not women who have a hard time being tied down. But, who’s to say that women really want to be with us. Or who’s to say they want us all the time. Women are typically the more emotional ones in the relationship, so we think that women are these sweet and innocent beings that only want us. Me, growing up around a lot of women in my life, you have enough conversations with them and realize that aspects of the previous statements regarding women are not all the way true. Well, you ask, what aspects of women am I referring to.

One of the aspects I am referring to is the notion that men are more sexual than women. Men are supposed to be more apt to cheat, but I think women think just as much as men do about infidelity. The only problem is that social norms in society frown on women being more sexual than men. But social norms and who we are biologically as humans are different. Women are expected to suppress feelings because it is socially immoral. Yet the internal feelings say something different. Women see plenty of men that they are attracted to, and yet never make a move. Now, outside of social norms, men generally are more impulsive while women observe a situation. But that’s the not the autonomous number of women and men.

Another aspect of women not being able to be at times who they truly want to be with us is the choosing method. When choosing a man, women would really prefer to be with someone who they love that loves them. But society tells you to be with a guy of a certain financial and educational means. You may not even want to be with this person, yet they have on paper what you are taught you should want from a man. I have always wondered do women really care, or do they “HAVE” to make excuses. Because women usually say, he doesn’t have this and this, but he has this other quality. Why do women have to point out the greater of what he does not have to uplift what he does have that is considered the lesser to where he could be in life. This has to do with a space of judging as well as biological.

I say biological because there is something very attractive about us as men when we are productive members of society. But it’s even more attractive to women when we start from nothing and build ourselves to something. Then again, society, once again, dictates a lot of how we live our lives. Women are expected to make excuses for what a guy lacks by stating he doesn’t have this, but has this. At times she really want to say, I wish he had this and this, so I wouldn’t have to choose between to the two (Oh, and by the way, it goes both ways). They would love to say, “Why can’t I be with a man who is successful in his career and can please me sexually.” Why must I say, “It aint all about the sex.” In reality she wants the sex and the career.

You see, in the end, women are expected to be the better of the two of us. They’re expected to be the moral compass of the relationship. It further feeds into the ideology of the woman’s way is the right way. Yet, since when is anyone right all the time. Sometimes she want you to be right about something. But when you live in a society that makes you feel like you are the face for what is right and wrong, where do you find time to be human? You need someone to be right in cases where you are wrong. You would really like to be overt sometimes, but you’re always expected to be nonverbal and passive. I will say that times are a lot different than in the past. But we still, even in a modern era, expect women to be the greater morally & ethically and the lesser sexually & emotionally.


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PROSTITUTION: THE BUSINESS OF SEX

Image result for SEX FOR SALE

“Should it or shouldn’t it?”

With marijuana slowly being legalized across America by way of dispensary ownership; you have to ask another question. What else will the United States consider in the future? Well, what about prostitution? Will there ever come a time where sex will be legalized for sale? I mean, we already have the porn industry well men and women have sex on camera for pay. Why not having sex via brothel? But wait a minute don’t we have a few already?

We do have a few brothels already in the state of Nevada. But they reside deep within the desert. One of the most remote is known as the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Not only is it remotely located in the desert, but also the most famous. Men from across the country and around the world come to visit the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. The hoops the owner had to jump through and continue to jump through is constant. But what about other regions of the country?

Will the United States meet some time in the distant future regarding men and women having the opportunity to have sex for money. Because the controversy of porn was seen as that in the beginning. As a matter of fact, porn walks this weird tight rope as it pertains to legality. But we look at it as perfectly fine in today’s society. If the conversation comes up, it will be shot down immediately. Why, what is wrong about legalizing two adults having sex with each other? One of my first guesses is the morality aspect.

We see prostitution is morally wrong, and capitalizing off of it as unethical. For the government to regulate men and women having sex for pay is considered morally wrong. But if that’s the case what about porn, strippers, and women who openly admit they sleep with men for money. Which by the way is an odd way to justify one legal and the other illegal. And for the most part I am not talking porn or stripping; but more so women sleeping with men for money. If a woman says I sleep with men and they give me money, she’s considered promiscuous. But if she says I charge men money for sex, then it’s illegal. Where is the line drawn.

When a woman says she sleeps with men for money, isn’t that prostitution? No because there has to be an agreed upon amount, and an exchange of currency form one hand into another. Well, that qualifies as prostitution also. That has always stuck out to me when I’ve heard women make statements like that. The other moral issue is the concern that young girls will seek to sell their bodies for sex when all else has failed or a quick way into money. The corruptibility it could have on the lives of females is feared to be devastating. Then what about the other aspect which is marriage.

Marriage is a reason also why prostitution is feared in America. We already have cell phone apps which allow you to meet people for random hookups. Think if there was a place to have sex for pay. It would really effect monogamy in this country. And it also leaves women at a great disadvantage. Men would outright ignore a lot of women because why work for your attention if it’s so quick and immediate. Now with that said, is it still good?

I think in my opinion, prostitution is the oldest profession, but it will be more so international than domestic. Because let’s assume women rally for the freedom to be a sex worker, other women would fight it. Plus, I don’t think America is the right place for this type of profession. Yes other countries have it, but they also have a lot of criminality in it as well. So in the end, even though there are some people who walk a fine line when it comes to sex for pay, it should still be illegal in America.