WE CAN DO IT: WHY YOUNG GIRLS AREN’T PUSHED LIKE THE BOYS

People Sitting Beside Brown Wooden Desk Near Flat Screen Tv

“Encourage them young.”


when they’re young

For some reason, we don’t push girls in school like we do the boys. And for that reason, I think that boys are way more prepared than girls are when it comes to entering life. That doesn’t mean that girls are not capable, but we don’t push them out there like boys. We encourage them to lay in the cut and take orders rather than make decisions. They are told to be lady like and remain quiet. This can stunt a person’s growth considering you have to be willing to stand out and stand up in order to be heard. And if you don’t, what is that saying again, “A closed mouth don’t get fed.”

we cripple them

“Oh come on, you should be doing something less difficult.” I have heard these words told to girls growing up. “You’re so pretty, get yourself a rich man and let him take care of you.” We don’t tell young boys this same thing because we want and expect our young boys to stand out and be great. So there is no leaning in for boys because it’s what you’re supposed to do your whole life. As for the girls, you should be more silent and docile. And that will get you nowhere in life. We act as if girls are fragile little creatures who can’t fend for themselves. And when they try and fail we say, “I told you so.” “Stop trying to be like the boys.” But failure is the only way to become successful in life.

biology is not society

Men are the greater physically and that means when dealing with us women have had to be thinkers as a creature. Which means women are in better alignment to learn when placed in academia than we are as guys. But when a young girl is told at a young age or not encouraged she now as to catch up to the opposite gender that she was born to be ahead of initially. So society has norms that cripples the mind of a biological creature that has been given the awareness to exist at times better. I am not saying women are better, we just have our skill sets. And when it comes to thinking out of a situation, women have to in nature. It’s not that much of a jump in school and in career.


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ME TOO. TIMES UP: HOW WILL THE MOVEMENT PAN OUT OVER TIME

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“Stand up, speak out.”


me too/times up

Over the past year, there has been a downfall of Hollywood’s elite men. There have been a wave of women coming out over the past indiscretions of studio executives and actors. Women who have been victims of sexual harassment and assault.  And with the downfalls came the movements we now know as Me Too and Times Up.

So with that said, how long will these two movements continue? And will they both take a turn for the better or for the worse? Because with what happened to comedian Aziz Ansari, the movement could have been in jeopardy.

upsides

Now, will you stop all of sexual harassment in society; the answer is no. That is a physical impossibility. But a lot of the movement’s cause has to do with harassment in the workplace. And that is the decline of harassment so women can work in a safe space without having to deal with constant advances. And for that, there have been progress.

Sexual Assualt stats by the EEOC

It’s not a fool proof movement, you’re going to always problems. But the goal is to deter the situation. And from the looks of things, we are seeing progress. But, is there another side to all this push back.

downsides

As with the positives of the movement, there are the downsides. And one of them we have already seen. That is when comedian Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual assault, and what it amounted to was a bad date. And this is what the movements have to speak out against. If not, you’re going to start to notice women coming forward for anything just to get their names out there.

And with it goes the movement that was meant to protect women. When we live in a society without due process, you start to get into trouble with false claims. But the moment you say due process, you’re automatically calling the victim a liar. When in reality, you might be saving yourself in the event that the perp is not the real per at all.


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GENDER SWAP: HOW THE EXPECTATIONS OF MEN AND WOMEN CHANGES

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“SHe-IM.”


expectations

As a man in society, I have always known from a young age that there are these expectations from us that are typically different than women. Funny because I was raised in a house with a mother and two sisters. You would think I was inundated with all these feminist viewpoints that I carry with me still today. Yes, there are ways I see the world that may be through the lens of a women via the women that raised me. But at the same time, they gave an honest feel for how the world actually works, not an illusion or from their own internalized disdain.

what is gender

When we observe what is gender, we have the definition which states that gender is the cultural and social differences that make up both males and females rather than the biological. Because the terms male and female are the biological words for the organism which either produces sperm or ovulates in the creation of an organism. Which means a women (gender) who is born female (sex) is so mutually inclusive because of the classification we give to the sex of a person. She is born female therefore she is a woman. And the same applies to a man. So in terms of the class and the biology, we are able to understand. But is everything so technical, or is there just an obvious aspect of all of this I have explained?

“outlined” expectations “old and new”

The following at the bottom are the two genders and the two sexes, as well as their expectations and limits.

MALE

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  • Gender: Open doors for the woman on dates, protect and provide, being the voice for the son to lean on, sexual opposite, spiritual opposite, vocal
  • Sex: provide sperm, physically defined (shoulders, chest, arms, etc.), genitalia (penis), Y-chromosome
  • New Roles: Minimal house work, voice to both son and daughter equally, co-provider, limited protection, not always sexual opposite
  • New Limits: No new real change

FEMALE

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  • Gender: Care for children, stay at home, voice to the daughter, sexual opposite, docile, primp, silent
  • Sex: X-chromosome, eggs, physically defined (breast, hips, rear), genitalia (vagina)
  • New Roles: not always sexual opposite, working woman, voice to both son and daughter equally, co-provider, self-protection, independence
  • New Limits: No new real change, except some physical attributes (strength)

workable or not?

Now, will it work in the end; men and women swapping in society? Can the woman be the man and man be the woman? I think there are certain aspects of who we are that will, and others can’t change. The ones that can’t change are so deeply rooted in who we are that change is impossible. Evolution has made us into who we are that yes, we will try to manipulate the limitations of ourselves, yet it will prove to not work. But there will still be considerable changes in expectations.


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RAPE CULTURE: IS THIS A REAL ISSUE?

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“No still means yes, really?”


against her will

For eons, women have had to bare the grunt of being subjugated to sexual assault. Whether it’s on a job or even in their home lives; women have been targets for many sexual attacks. But what my question would be is if there is a real culture based around the idea that rape is alright to a certain extent. Because as men, we have an idea for what rape would be in our mind, but in a woman’s mind it could mean something different. Because to a woman, even if she thinks rape it can constitute as rape; which is a slippery slope when you’re a guy. But I am not even fully referring to that, I’m talking about a different type of culture in the mind of a woman.

playful assault

To a woman, when you’re being playful, she might be a little uncomfortable. You might be thinking, “Oh this is just fine, she’s just overreacting.” For example, walking up behind a female and giving her a hug when you are not in a relationship or close friends. That could be seen as uncomfortable and that woman could go into a space. She could go to a place in her mind that makes her feel violated. Now, if she is into you, then she may let it slide. That can be a tricky situation that you have to feel out, but can also put you in a position to make her feel uncomfortable as well. That’s why when you’re on a job, you have to be sure that you are not coming off as someone putting a woman in a weird situation. So when in doubt, be professional.

what is rape really?

Men in Hollywood over the past year have been losing their careers because of their sexual assault allegations from their female counterparts. Some cases have been force and others have been methods of coercion. But to a man, rape is holding a woman down against her will, and raping her. It is the way we have been taught rape is in our lives. No, no; rape if not sexual assault is trying to get a woman to sleep with you as a coworker where you’re above her in a position of power. She might sleep with you out of fear of losing her job, which can lead to you being in a situation. Sexual assaults can also be seen as a guy at a bar who won’t stop trying to get your phone number.

signs

So what are the signs if you’re a guy of rape from a woman. It used to be force, or of course underage sexual contact. But now in today’s society, the lines seem to be blurred. And when you look in in the history of society, we have cultivated this environment that have made it difficult for women to exist without having to watch her back. And biologically, women are less physically built than men, so they are already in a vulnerable position. But the only way this can be dealt with is through progress.


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GIVE HER A PUSH: WHY AREN’T WOMEN ENCOURAGED AS MUCH AS MEN

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“They need a push just as much as we do.”


us and them

In the United States, as with worldwide, men are encouraged in a different way than women. We are pushed out into the world sooner than women, and expected to take lead more than women. While women at young ages are told to stand on the sidelines and let men do the leading. The above photo is of COO of Facebook Sheryl Sandberg who wrote a book about this very topic. How women are not as encouraged as men, and why it’s harder for women to get raises on jobs like men. But is there just a social aspect to leading or is there a more biological reason why?

social reasons

When little girls are growing up, they are not encouraged to do as boys do. And I am not referring to going to school. I mean putting yourself in positions that get you hurt emotionally and at times physically. Then need to love ones self is not as strongly pushed so girls compare themselves to other girls in school and in the public eye. But we also never give girls the suck it up speech. When boys are young we’re told, “Shut up and suck it up,” “Deal with it.” You know as a guy early on that failure is apart of life because it’s been pumped into your head at such a young age. So when failure happens we charge it to the game. But girls, we cuddle them too much; treating them like they’re too delicate to handle hurt early on. Then women are tossed into the thralls of the world where people could care less and you get hurt. Now, taking lumps becomes new and a lot more difficult.

nature

On the other hand, we not only have the social reasons as to why women are not pushed like men, but the natural reasons. Nature plays a role because when a women is more likely to want to share a position than hold the top spot. Not just in work places, but also in monogamous relationships. Men not only want the top spot, but we are completely content with the idea that there are people underneath us. Especially in cases of dating where we want to be the one in control. Yet it’s harder for women to respect and love a man where she takes the lead all the time. But for guys, we like the lead.

progression in time

Women have taken on roles more and more over the years. But still, we don’t encourage girls as much as boys. So boys are more than ready to step into the world because we deal with the lumps at an early age. We don’t force girls to take their lumps at an early age. Girls are not forced to take loses, and suck it up and deal. But boys are taught that dealing is apart of manhood, so learn it now to prepare yourself for adulthood.


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SCIENCE OF PARENTING: WHAT MAKES WOMEN CLOSER THAN MEN

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“We are not like them.”


the job aint easy

You ever hear people say that the job of raising children is not an easy? Well, it is; I don’t have any, but observing my mother raising children, I can tell it was a struggle. The feat of not only getting up making sure they are fed, but placing them into the world. You have to let go and realize they are in the world and trust they make the right decisions. Because the kid part are the cute years, it’s when we get older where the job becomes difficult. Once those adolescent years hit and friends become more of an influencer than parents, that’s when the job gets tough. But this topic is more than that, it’s about the relationship that each parent has with the child/children.

gender differences

The science behind why a woman is connected to the child more is simple. She is the one who carried the kid, so there is a deeper bond than the man has with the child. Men can easily role around and play with the kid then head off to work. We have that ability to connect then disconnect in an instant. But all throughout the day, especially when the child is a baby, women can’t do the same. It is impossible for a woman to tune out when the kid is young. She is able to do so as the kid gets older, and ready to take on their own identities. But is there more behind the idea that women connect better than men? Meaning, what is the even deeper science behind mom and dad bonds.

evolution

Humans have attachments to each other which aids in our ability to coexist as a planet. But when we have children men bond differently then women. And there is a science to this bond. My best guess is that men were never meant to be in the life of the child. Father’s being around is a social construct more than it is biological. Don’t get me wrong, men still will fight and die for their young, but were we supposed to be a community like we are today. There are social means as to why we as men stick around: give the kid guidance, be an example for what the kid shall be in life, a protector in the household, an additional contributor to the family, and a partner for the woman. These are social constructs, but biologically, we don’t have those attachments because maybe we were never meant to have them. That doesn’t excuse deadbeat fathers, it just aims at understanding why we can be great fathers, yet disconnect to get work done, or even become better disciplinarians.


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YOU DON’T NEED ME, SO BYE: WHY DO MEN LEAVE WOMEN FOR RISING ABOVE

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“Why sometimes our equal could be a turnoff.”


Men are protectors, we are providers, especially when it comes to the women in our lives. But what happens when that woman is not only a provider, but she is just as bossed-up as you? We always say in public how we love ourselves a single independent woman, but to a large degree, we love to have women that need us. And when I say need us, I don’t mean needy. There is a difference between need and needy. The needy is more clingy and can’t leave your side which tends to be quite irritating. But the need would be something as little as changing a tire or paying for a meal at a restaurant. Because we are raised from a young age these are the things you are supposed to do for the women in your life.

Yet in today’s society, women are in more privileged positions than they were in the past. Yet unlike the past, they are having a harder time finding love. Why, is it because the access to quality men has lessoned? No, it’s because there are so many men who feel, “Oh, she has everything together already, she doesn’t need someone like me.” “A man like me would be more suitable for a women who could use the help.” Meaning, a woman who is a teacher would need the guy more than the woman who is a boss like an Oprah Winfrey. We look at Oprah and say, “Why would you need a guy, you have everything under control already.”

And that is what causes the disconnect. Because we as men look at finances as this end all. When a woman is of financial means, we look at her as being both man and woman. She is a man because she is bossed-up, but a woman because of the obvious. So I don’t think guys are intimidated by her success. So many of us look at her like, she has the situation herself, we need to be with the woman who could use the help. What help do you need if you are already in the position that we seek to fill. Now women on the other hand don’t see the situation as such. To them, they could use someone in their lives just as much as the woman not on her level.

To her, if she is a boss, it gives her more reason to need the relationship. The relationship serves as the stable environment outside the hectic world of her business career. To her, you can’t put a price on relationships, yet on the other hand it’s what we are as men. Because in the end, we are raised to be productive as men. Money is not everything, but a financial contribution is a major reason why men introduce ourselves into the lives of women. Being a financial provider is a major aspect of how we define manhood. Making money means, the mortgage, rent, utilities, food, transportation, clothes, healthcare, travel/leisure, education, and care for kids. It’s an entirety that makes us want to be men of financial means. So when women already have it, we feel her life is already filled.


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