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“The hurt and the pain, yet where is it coming from.”

Do you have mood swings that cause you to cry at times out of nowhere? You’ll be performing some task, or even casually walking up the street. I had one of those moments today while at work. And to keep people from asking what’s wrong, I turned my back to them. But now that my shift is over at work, I had forgetton about the instance until now. So what was it that made me go through this moment of emotional low? Is there some sort of imbalance in life? Or, is it a sign of something deeper? It can be uncomfortable to tear up out of nowhere. Because when someone asks what’s wrong, you can only say nothing. Making up a lie will only mean creating a new lie at every pass. So you have to ignore people until you get over this emotional low.

What’s even creepier at times is that you conjure up an image at times that never took place. And then you might cry just thinking about what if it were true. For example, you play out a scenario of yourself getting sick and breaking the news to your family. Then you cry just thinking about all the people that would get hurt by your sickness. What’s creepy is that you’re not sick. You just made it all up in your head for the sake of feeling hurt about something. Sounds like some sort of mentally ill sickness. And you would be right, but this is uncomfortable for so many to talk about because there is a psychological aspect to it. No one wants to think of themselves as crazy, but what could it be? Why would anyone want to cry for the sake of crying even when life is going well? I have a few suggestions as to why.

One of the reasons we lean on emotion is because we may lack emotions at times. This forcing yourself to be emotional even at irrational times makes us feel alive. I know I am not someone who shows a lot of emotion. So I’ll think of a strong memory, and from that comes tears. But it does not always have to be about feeling hurt. Some times you might find yourself crying about something good that is or going to happen. You get this weird euphoric feeling and then comes the tears. I have also had this before in my life as well. And all these different emotions like I said prior have some type of psychological implication connected to them.

In the end, emotions are real and they are what make us feel alive. No matter if the emotion is brought on by hurt or pain; or if you get the feeling to rejoice. And rejoice is interesting considering we always associate crying with feeling sad. But don’t be alarmed regarding your mental stability. Involuntary crying is more natural then you think.

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Author: faheemjackson44

I am from Racine, Wisconsin where I was raised until I graduated high school back in the year 2006. That entire time growing up in my mother's house, I was a student athlete. My goal was to embark on a general business career or athletics. But injuries through sports stopped a sports path, so I decided upon business with a focus in marketing. While attending undergraduate school at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, I began to write screenplays in my senior year. At first it was for fun, but I quickly learned writing allow me to transfer negative energy into characters I created. This led to a decrease in depressing mood swings, which in turn boosted my quality of life. After undergraduate school in May of 2011, I move to New York City for graduate school. While pursuing my MBA, I continued to write screenplays, but always wanted to write novels as well. I finished graduate school back in the year 2014, but wrote screenplays until I began thinking of my first short film, first First Day Fears. While finishing my fifth feature length screenplay, I started to write my first novel this year. So far, I have finished my first short film and working on my next one (Freedomless Speech), and recently self published my first novel (The Boy Who Could Talk To God) and short stories book (Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Volume 1). My feature length screenplays have been put on temporary hold to finish my short films and books, but I am making good progress on my sixth feature length screenplay. With year 2017 ending, I am currently writing my novel Precinct 86 and Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Vol. 2. I have started teaching myself photography and will pursuing that by summer of 2018, along with my videography, podcast later on, and more research for my documentary.

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