DO AS I SAY: WHEN YOU ARE BEING FORCED INTO A CAREER BY PARENTS

Woman Holding Stethoscope

“You will be a doctor.”


parental oversight

As you are leaving high school and embark on the journey of finding your career path, you will find yourself feeling pressure. And that pressure will come from the people that are around you. Usually, it will be from your family. They may want you to study a profession that will satisfy them and much so for you to be happy. And a main reason is because they are the ones paying for your education. So this means choosing something you might not be that good in, but do it anyways so you get the help from them. Luckily for me, my mother wanted her children to pursue what we loved and were good at in life. This way we don’t have to worry about the regrets in life of what if.

be ready to turn away

You want to be in the career field of your choice, then be prepared to go at it alone. Because to think that your parents will just reach in their pockets and pay for you and not choose what they want, then you’re crazy. So be ready to look them in the face and leave everything they are willing to give you on the table. And here is the hard part because we want the treats that our parents are willing to give us. We also feel that we disappoint them when we make our own decisions. But it’s your life, so are in the business of satisfying them, or are you going to build your own life.

long road of despair

Taking on a career that you don’t like is a life long journey that will leave you unhappy. Sir the people around you are happy because they can brag and boast about what you do for a living. But the person who has to live the life that is you will be miserable. So choosing to appease others never pans out and all you do is pass it on to your children. And we will have nothing but multiple generations of broken people all trying to appease everyone around them.


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MICROMANAGE OFFSPRING: HOW SOCIETY FEELS ABOUT IMPLANTED CHIPS IN CHILDREN

Green Ram Card Collection

“We need to monitor them.”


track your child

As a parent, you want to monitor what your child is doing at all times. That means you have to constantly be on the up and up, especially in these ever changing times. So as time progress, the idea that we could possibly implant chips into our children could be something of the future. This way parents not only can track their child in case of an emergency,they can tell where they are at, at all times. Kids wouldn’t like being tracked, but they don’t understand the hurt a parent feels when that phone call is made that their child is missing. How do you go about this process?

government intervention

For this to be something that could get put into place, you’re talking years and years of fighting lawmakers. Because you have to take into consideration the health effects. But also the rights of the child being chipped. You are their parents, this is obvious, but they are also individuals themselves to a certain age. So if a parent chips their child, at a certain age that kid now has right to know what has been put into their bodies. And if they are not fine with that, it is to be removed. Why, well it’s because a human is not your property even if it is your child. They have the right to know. And also back to the health effects, what, if anything can attributed to the long term implant in your body?

what’s it really built for

Are these chips we’re embracing being used to only track where our children are going? Or will there be other data connected to the child that can be used. Meaning, Facebook has affiliates that advertise to the users when certain keywords are constantly used. Now you are wondering why so much about a certain model car is being marketed to you. It all has to do with what you are typing in that search box on the internet. Could this information also track not only kids movements but their frequented visiting spots for marketers looking to brand to children? This would be a perfect way to turn a profit.

benefits

What are the benefits to being able to chip your child? Well, the upside is that besides tracking their movements, maybe the chip has been connected to figuring out any health problems. Parents would love knowing what is wrong with their child before going to the doctor’s office so the doctor’s job is that much easier.


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NEW AGE PARENTING: HOW TECHNOLOGY TO CONNECT TO KIDS IS A MUST FOR PARENTS

Portrait of Woman Photographing With Smart Phone

“Stay connected to them.”


monitor your offspring

For the longest parents would not think to allow their children to have cell phones. It was always the same thing, you are too young to have a phone. So kids could not wait until they turned 16, 17, or in some cases 18 years old to get a phone. Getting a cell phone in the past was like having a license. But the difference between the past and the present would be the level of technology that children already have access to, so why not. Why not give a kid a phone today. And plus, you need to be able to stay connected to whatever your child is doing. There is just too much they can get into today that wasn’t like the past.

losing battle

Parents are having to fight against every latest piece of technology out here. Some parents have to download apps themselves just to connect to their child emotionally. So what do you do because you can’t just tune out because then you’re out of the loop. So get in the game, and the longer you wait to have kids the more outside you are in the game. There are parents my mother’s age who have children in high school. Meanwhile my oldest sister is close to 40 years old. Which is a culture shock to be almost 60 years old and now you have teenagers when so many people your age have adults who have teenage kids. The job has to be very difficult coming from a 60’s generation with a child that is a Generation Me.

dumbing them down

Technology keeps you engaged with what your child is doing, yet at the same time, the tech era has created a generation of lost souls. Texting, tweeting, auto-correct, GIFS, Memes, and Emoji’s have created young people who perform poorly in schools because of bad grammar. So what you must do is now purchase materials that will combat the games and the way they verbally interact. Only problem is that technology is changing by the day and future parents will have to work even harder.


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ENTERTAINMENT BABYSITTERS: WHY DO WE EXPECT OUR ENTERTAINMENT TO CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN

Crescent Moon and Cloud Wind Chimes

“They have a job, but not raising our children.”


not their parents

Whenever I see parents get angry at the celebrities for letting their children down, it always struck me as odd. How did they let your child down? That i your job to let them down in life. If your child’s life crumbles because of the indiscretions of athletes or entertainers, then you as a parent failed somewhere. There is no reason why athletes and entertainers should be the driving force in your child’s life.

transfer responsibilities

A lot of parents unlike the past have to work nine to five jobs. Where as in the past the father worked and mom stayed home. Now there is little time to focus on the child because parents have to work. So now, more then ever, we are seeing the kid gain so much of their insights from the internet and entertainment.

Now is that the fault of the entertainer, no because their job is to entertain not teach. and parents have become upset that they are not able to have a career and have their children. So now, every single public figure now becomes the parent to the kid when the biological parent isn’t around.

maybe it’s you

Parents hate to admit that their child/children are the way they are because of bad parenting. But a lot of the problems that persist from parents is just that; parenting. Saying I have to work is not good enough because they are your responsibility. So no matter what, people will look to you as the parent. Because if you’re not going to shift blame for their success, don’t be so quick to shift blame for failures.


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HOLDING THEM CLOSE: WHY WE THINK LYING PROTECTS CHILDREN IN LIFE WHEN IT DOESN’T

adult, affection, baby

“We think it helps but it does more damage.”


parenting

When raising children, parents do everything in their power to make sure that child/children is taken care of; if they’re responsible. And sometimes this goes overboard to the extent of not showing and preparing them for the real world. And we starting to see that now in a generation of young people.The whole every kid gets a trophy; this something for nothing mentality.

And what it does is not set up a child for success, but sets them up for heartache and pain. Because you have to learn to lose early on in life so you can be ready for the real hardships down the line. And I don’t see cuddling them and shielding them as a means of aiding them in life. So why am I bringing up this particular topic in our cultural month.

teens take the NRA

Image result for emma gonzalez

Then photo above is of the young female leading the protest against gun violence, Emma Gonzalez. Emma is a student at Parkland High School, a school in Florida where a former student came in with an AR-15 rifle and shot and killed former classmates. Her as well as countless other young teens are challenging the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States.

Only problem is that when you are 17 years old you don’t quite understand certain aspects of a civilization until you reach a certain age. There is an emotional piece and a rational piece to what is being protested. The emotional is the anger toward the gun violence, while the logical is to say lose guns is saying end drug use, it goes deeper than that when you understand the human psyche and us as a species.

So what does this have to do with culture of parenting, a lot. Because besides the kid who shot up the school, we need to also explain as parents the rational side of the death penalty, guns, law enforcement. And sometimes we don’t because we don’t want to expose them to the dangers of life to soon. But that is something we must do. Sure parents march with them, then retrn to work and normal Monday morning. It’s fine to march, but it must be also met with rationale of the real world.

whose to explain

So overall, you as the parent must explain. It’s tough because you don’t want to frighten them, but this is the real world. It’s an imperfect world, but the only world we have, so explain. Explain with emotion, and with logic so they know and understand how to tackle issues without losing all logic, but still retain enough emotion to connect to people.


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SCIENCE OF PARENTING: WHAT MAKES WOMEN CLOSER THAN MEN

blanket, boots, care

“We are not like them.”


the job aint easy

You ever hear people say that the job of raising children is not an easy? Well, it is; I don’t have any, but observing my mother raising children, I can tell it was a struggle. The feat of not only getting up making sure they are fed, but placing them into the world. You have to let go and realize they are in the world and trust they make the right decisions. Because the kid part are the cute years, it’s when we get older where the job becomes difficult. Once those adolescent years hit and friends become more of an influencer than parents, that’s when the job gets tough. But this topic is more than that, it’s about the relationship that each parent has with the child/children.

gender differences

The science behind why a woman is connected to the child more is simple. She is the one who carried the kid, so there is a deeper bond than the man has with the child. Men can easily role around and play with the kid then head off to work. We have that ability to connect then disconnect in an instant. But all throughout the day, especially when the child is a baby, women can’t do the same. It is impossible for a woman to tune out when the kid is young. She is able to do so as the kid gets older, and ready to take on their own identities. But is there more behind the idea that women connect better than men? Meaning, what is the even deeper science behind mom and dad bonds.

evolution

Humans have attachments to each other which aids in our ability to coexist as a planet. But when we have children men bond differently then women. And there is a science to this bond. My best guess is that men were never meant to be in the life of the child. Father’s being around is a social construct more than it is biological. Don’t get me wrong, men still will fight and die for their young, but were we supposed to be a community like we are today. There are social means as to why we as men stick around: give the kid guidance, be an example for what the kid shall be in life, a protector in the household, an additional contributor to the family, and a partner for the woman. These are social constructs, but biologically, we don’t have those attachments because maybe we were never meant to have them. That doesn’t excuse deadbeat fathers, it just aims at understanding why we can be great fathers, yet disconnect to get work done, or even become better disciplinarians.


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FATHERLESS: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BOYS DON’T GROW WITH THEIR FATHERS

adorable, baby, born

“You are his first guidance counselor.”


As a young boy who grew up in a single parent home without my father, I can tell you first hand what boys miss when they don;t have a man around. Luckily for me, I was able to not only look to my mother, but there were enough men around I could look to, to gauge what it means to be a man. Now that I am 30 years of age, my father and I speak now. This is tough for many considering they have so many grudges they hold for the other parent. As for me, I have learned not mainly the art of forgiveness, but an aspect of life has set in; which is no one cares. The world at large could care less about you not having your father in your life. Because when its all said and done, the world will judge you based on you, not your parent.

Sounds like a hard pill to swallow because you lose so much with that other half not in your life. And what are some of the key aspects of life you miss out on.

RESPONSIBILITY

Image result for RESPONSIBLE

You might be thinking to yourself, your mother can raise you to be responsible. But living in society there are different expectations for men and for women. Even as we start to take on relationships, the expectations of men become different. Funny that your mother never sit down and talk to you about the real standards that women have in life. But instead, mothers don’t want to throw too much at you, almost like she wants to protect you more than see you afraid to step out into the world. But a man afraid to step out into the world, is a man headed down an unsuccessful path. You can’t become successful if all you’re doing is second guessing the entire time. And women themselves will learn to not be able to trust you and depend upon you as well. Nothing you say will be taken seriously because there is not that strong male foundation. Mothers are more apt to give their sons a little more leeway than the father. The father is more authoritative when dealing with their sons, while mom tends to be more emotional. And the problem with mom emotions directed toward her son. He grows and starts to take on these attributes. Which is seen as normal for women, but we appear to be weak and unwilling to take action when action is needed. We’re more likely to be sons and friends to women in our lives than boyfriends and husbands.

DISCIPLINE

Image result for military discipline

Here is the part of life where fathers teach their sons about how to be patient. Here is where young boys get that first hand lesson in good things coming to those who wait, when the one is waiting is focused and poised. Usually boys are quite jittery, but fathers are the ones who whip them into shape. “Boy sit down,” or “Didn’t I tell you to be still?” You’re given these hard directions, that at times come from mom, but they scream louder from dad. And why do we listen to dad’s discipline more than mom’s discipline. It has nothing to do with our love for him more. It has everything to do with the idea that we know and understand, even at a young age the strong staff that dad carries. And that internal feel of dad means business leads into the next thing boys miss out on.

SELF-IDENTIFICATION

Image result for self mirror

The previous paragraph that explains the understanding we have as men when we are in each other’s presence. That feeling that women don’t have when we as men come cross paths with each other. And you look into the eyes of another man and realize in that moment when he is serious, when he is not who he says he is, and when he is burying something internally. And part of knowing who we are is by way of knowing yourself as well. A lot of boys growing up coming into manhood have a hard time communicating with other men without getting emotional because they lack self-identification. Then they finds themselves in trouble because they are not consciously aware. Not having any man who is truly unaware because he was not taught awareness, is not only a problem and detriment to himself but society. And if you look at the statistics, boys who are more prone to commit crimes and wind up in prison usually didn’t have their fathers to teach them men don’t do this or do that in life. So the boy grows full blown from whatever imaginations is there that is not cultivated by the man in his life.

In the end, boys tend to miss out on a lot by not having their fathers or some man around that they can look to in how to be a man. Like I said earlier, in my life, I could look to someone that was an image of manhood. Some boys in the community turned to gangs as a way to link up with men who served as guidance in their lives. And even though mom plays an intricate role in your life, their is so much you lose that have to learn on the fly by not having a father.


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