Tag: #parental

DO AS I SAY: WHEN YOU ARE BEING FORCED INTO A CAREER BY PARENTS

Woman Holding Stethoscope

“You will be a doctor.”

parental oversight

As you are leaving high school and embark on the journey of finding your career path, you will find yourself feeling pressure. And that pressure will come from the people that are around you. Usually, it will be from your family. They may want you to study a profession that will satisfy them and much so for you to be happy. And a main reason is because they are the ones paying for your education. So this means choosing something you might not be that good in, but do it anyways so you get the help from them. Luckily for me, my mother wanted her children to pursue what we loved and were good at in life. This way we don’t have to worry about the regrets in life of what if.

be ready to turn away

You want to be in the career field of your choice, then be prepared to go at it alone. Because to think that your parents will just reach in their pockets and pay for you and not choose what they want, then you’re crazy. So be ready to look them in the face and leave everything they are willing to give you on the table. And here is the hard part because we want the treats that our parents are willing to give us. We also feel that we disappoint them when we make our own decisions. But it’s your life, so are in the business of satisfying them, or are you going to build your own life.

long road of despair

Taking on a career that you don’t like is a life long journey that will leave you unhappy. Sir the people around you are happy because they can brag and boast about what you do for a living. But the person who has to live the life that is you will be miserable. So choosing to appease others never pans out and all you do is pass it on to your children. And we will have nothing but multiple generations of broken people all trying to appease everyone around them.

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IS IT FOR THEM OR YOU: PARENTS WHO WANT THEIR CHILDREN TO BE WHAT THEY WEREN’T

 

Girl Playing Golf

“Is it for them or you?”

overbearing parents

Growing up for me playing sports, my mother was involved, but for the most part it was up to me to play. She wasn’t to into me playing unless I wanted to play. But there were the parents growing up that you could clearly tell it was all for them. They might have been good when they were younger and never made it. Or they see the potential in their child that they didn’t have and want them to play. So now, they invest all their time into the kid to try to live vicariously through the child. It gives them an excuse to never have to move on in life past their time in sports.

way too pushy

Screaming at the kid and cursing, but for what? It seems to be kind of crazy when you think about it. And what’s even more unfortunate the kid might have been into the sport had the parent not have been so overbearing. Now, it seems like more of a job than having fun. And when the fun is gone, that is when you don’t want to play anymore. And how is it that a parent can take the fun out of the sport for the child. It’s because somewhere along the parent saw the kid had some sort of skill and over the top. That is how they ruined it.

i’m all in

When I played sports my mother bought the cleats for football and that was it. But you have parents who buy the cleats, gloves, sunglasses, visors, sneakers and socks, hats, and coats. They go all out like the kid is already in the pros. And it becomes and entire family affair. Even some parents go as far to dress their daughters up when the son is playing football in cheerleading outfits. It’s fine if it’s all in fun. But there are some parents where it means business. And even as a child when I played it seemed odd to see all this transpire. parents dipping deep into their banks accounts hoping it pays them back in the form of the kid going into the pros.

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TAKE YOUR KID TO WORK DAY: WHY ISN’T THIS STILL A POPULAR TRADITION

Woman Together With Children Holding Laptop Computer

“They should see success early on.”

tag along

When I was a child there was a special occasion called,” Take your daughter to work day.” It was to promote women in the workforce. But also it was aimed at showing little girls what they could potentially be in life. Days like this were odd when the whole grade level or more would be all boys in class. Later on the day changed to take your kid to day. As of today, I don’t think the day is celebrated anymore. With all the political correctness who know the real reason. But on the other hand, should we reconsider taking the day back again.

they learn a lot

Children learn a lot at home, but what they learn from watching you work on a job is something different. Because they are not watching mom and dad be mom and dad. They are watching mom and dad not only be responsible, but told what to do. Which is an interesting dynamic when you have children and they live by your rules. So them watching you under the chain of command allows them to see how orders are doled out. It prepares them for the world they will enter once mom and dad are no longer in the picture. The introduction into life and how you must behave to survive in this world.

why it stopped

The answer to the header is that it never really stopped. It just has not been as popular as it was in the past. But I think we should start promoting the take the kid to your job. Because in a society where every kid gets a trophy, they should see that everyone don’t get a trophy. Your hardest sometimes is still not good enough. That realness is too much to ignore, and will make them tough enough to deal in life.

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ENTERTAINMENT BABYSITTERS: WHY DO WE EXPECT OUR ENTERTAINMENT TO CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN

Crescent Moon and Cloud Wind Chimes

“They have a job, but not raising our children.”

not their parents

Whenever I see parents get angry at the celebrities for letting their children down, it always struck me as odd. How did they let your child down? That i your job to let them down in life. If your child’s life crumbles because of the indiscretions of athletes or entertainers, then you as a parent failed somewhere. There is no reason why athletes and entertainers should be the driving force in your child’s life.

transfer responsibilities

A lot of parents unlike the past have to work nine to five jobs. Where as in the past the father worked and mom stayed home. Now there is little time to focus on the child because parents have to work. So now, more then ever, we are seeing the kid gain so much of their insights from the internet and entertainment.

Now is that the fault of the entertainer, no because their job is to entertain not teach. and parents have become upset that they are not able to have a career and have their children. So now, every single public figure now becomes the parent to the kid when the biological parent isn’t around.

maybe it’s you

Parents hate to admit that their child/children are the way they are because of bad parenting. But a lot of the problems that persist from parents is just that; parenting. Saying I have to work is not good enough because they are your responsibility. So no matter what, people will look to you as the parent. Because if you’re not going to shift blame for their success, don’t be so quick to shift blame for failures.

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PARENTAL MENTAL: HOW YOUR CHILD’S MIND IS SHAPED BY YOU AS THE PARENT/S

adult, adventure, baby

“You give them confidence or take it away.”

IT’S YOUR JOB

So many young people are entering the world afraid of their chances at success. But whose job is it to prepare them for the world? I’ll tell you whose job it is, it’s the parents. Your job as a parent/s is to make sure your child/children have the ability to say to themselves, “Life is tough, but I can do this, I can make it.” Yet there are so many who can’t cope because mom and dad didn’t properly show them the way. Now the kid is an adult thinking it’s society’s job to raise them.

HOW DO YOU GIVE IT

Parents are to give their children the confidence that they have had in order to make it in the world. But that’s assuming the mind of the parent/s are in the right place. How can a parent shape the mind of the child if theirs is so ruined. So that means now you have ruined parents raising children that will enter our society, who then in turn affect all of our lives. And you give them the confidence by making them realize that failures will come, but ultimately there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that they also are great in every shape and form, yet they must prove this by exemplifying it in the world.

HOW “WE” SUFFER

Notice I said how we suffer with the we in quotations. And the we is referring to the masses of people in the dominant society. When parents don’t give their children the proper guidance and encouragement, everyone else suffers who has to come across them. And that doesn’t just mean parents who were absentee, I’m also referring to parents who raise their kids making them think every kid should be handed something for nothing. Teaching them that their 50% is someone else’s 100%. Then they step into the world and realize that their 50 is 50, and my 100 is 100. And that my 100 will always beat your child’s 50.

IN MY OWN LIFE

Growing up for my sisters and I at least, you just knew their was nothing that was going to be given to you. You had to put forth effort in everything you did in life. And you were also in the know that you were going to stink at a lot more than you were going to be good at, so find what you’re good at and work to achieve greatness. Because inevitably the world could care less about your tears when you have nothing to show. It will be you who people judge, not how you grew up or any downfall you may have encountered in life.

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GIVE EM THE FACTS: WHY MORE PARENTS SHOULD BE TRANSPARENT

adult, adventure, baby

“Tell them so they don’t figure out the hard way.”

Ever since I was a child, my mother made it her business to prepare my and sisters and I for the world ahead. And it was quite helpful, as I can tell you so far everything I was taught I have experienced. From dealing with people who try to get over, to dealing with jobs and the stress that comes with that as well. But my question which ties into the topic today is, why don’t more parents prepare their children for the real world? And I don’t mean raising them to be responsible and hard working. I’m talking about, with what you experience. Tell them in detail how society has impacted your life, and the real relationships you’ll encounter in adulthood. Most parents either tell children, “You’ll see,” or “work hard.” But these are very vague responses. They don’t provide much insight.

And what do I mean by providing a little more insight. Tell children how, especially when you get out of school, that your degree alone won’t help them get a job. Tell them how when you get out, chances are, you’re going to be working a job you hate initially. Landing a dream job takes more skills and more work. Explain to them how your supervisor may ask you to do something, and when you do that order in which you were given, the order fails. Then instead of the boss taking respectability for being wrong, they transfer blame onto you. Because their incompetence will cost them their job, they have to make you look stupid. And you can’t flip out on them because you will lose your job, and you need your job. So you learn to suck it up even when you’re right, and you grow to resent your job. Tell them the whole game.

Explain to them when they get in relationships that there is a control aspect to being in the relationship. Someone may want to have the upper hand in your life just because they are with you. And this may require detaching from them, and starting fresh with someone else. Tell your child how emotional people get once they start having sex, and how someone might try to use this as a means of controlling you as well. Know when to get out of a toxic situation and how. But while you’re teaching them this, make sure to tell them that you should never give anyone any bit of your time not willing to reciprocate. You don’t want to be your child’s friend, but make them realize they should come to you before their friend because you and only you are in their best interest. Also tell them how to manage their finances.

Teach your child that when you get a check, you don’t run to the store and spend, spend, spend. Living for today and not tomorrow is not smart. We might not wake up tomorrow is a reality, but plan for tomorrow, hell even next week even if it doesn’t happen. Money can be considered the root of all evil, but you need it to survive. So explain how you may or may not need wealth, but you don’t want poverty. And tell them how they can be somewhere in the middle. Teach them to know what they’re getting into before they get involved. Meaning, if you are comfortable with all the risk of making a decision, make it, but also live with it. And in the end, everything I have said was explained to me by my mother growing up. She spoke to her children like adults, not like her kids. We knew because she told us; so now I ask you, “Do you tell yours the truth?”

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NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE: WHY I DON’T WANT KIDS

Image result for NO KIDS

“Saving myself from what could be a disaster.”

Since becoming an adult I have been pondering over the idea of whether I want to become a parent someday or not. And as time progress, I know I don’t want to get married. But what about a child. Right now, I know I don’t want children, though I think about it. Who knows how I will feel at the age of 40 or 50 years. Because next month, I will be 30 years old, and I still feel the same about having children now as I did as a 20 year old. But also, my ideas of marriage and relationships have not changed either. The only aspect of my life that has changed is success in a career. So why haven’t I changed my stance of children?

Well, my main reason I don’t want children is because I don’t want to deal with the idea of dealing with the other person. Once you have children, there is a dual input in raising a child that I don’t want to adhere to. I have my way that I want to do things and that is that. Now, I do believe that someone else may have a better way. But it’s not about a better way, it’s about my way I want things to go. So with that said, it wouldn’t be best to have children with someone. My best way to go about having children might be to adopt one day. This way I can raise my child how I want to raise them. But are there other reasons that are keeping me from parenthood?

The other reason I don’t want children is because of the aspect of who having to always make them your life. Once you have children, they are your life. You have no other choice because even on hard and depressed days, you have to suck it up and deal. There is no out, most often, parents wish there was somewhere other than here at the moment. Yes, if you’re famous, you can hire a nanny, but most Americans can’t afford a babysitter, must less a nanny. So they have to find a way to deal with their lives. And although this is not a human existence that you genuinely want to live all the time, it’s a must. Children have no choice in their existence, so it’s a thought before having them.

Now, the third reason, is because there are so many things I want out of life. And having children get in the way of those things. And for the most part, they’re not that big of a deal, except when you have kids. Like, living in New York City, I’ll get up and just go for a walk around the city. Just something so simple, is major when you’re a parent. You can’t just up and leave the house. Because you are no longer alone anymore because there is someone there to depend on you. See, in the end, children are a career outside your daily job. It doesn’t pay, and there is no guarantee that what you teach them will ultimately work. So for now, I live my life for myself and whatever benefits me. But children are still a 10% yes and 90% no, and marriage is still 100% no.

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