INTO THE UNKNOWN: WHAT OUR TRUE FEARS ARE ABOUT LIVING

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“What will tomorrow bring is always scary.”


Growing up as a child, we have all these different places we see ourselves in life. We see ourselves being the top person in our career field. We see ourselves happily married with children. We see ourselves living this all-around great life, that sometimes doesn’t quite pan out that way. We see ourselves in all these positions, yet when it comes time to actually step into society, we have a hard time coming to grips with the real world. In the real world, things don’t turn out how we always plan them. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and how you deal with the adversity says a lot about who are you as a person. How will you respond if life doesn’t turn out how you thought it would turn out?

Life is not this straight path that leads to this pot of gold. You might go to school, get out, get a good job, and in a matter of months have no place of employment and no place to live. How do you deal with this when it comes your way? What do you do when face with no job and no means of survival? There is no playbook when dealing in life, this is something that happens on the fly. We have all these theories on how to deal until it happens. That’s when panic sets in, and you start to make decisions that could worsen your situation. And at that point you realize what true adulthood is all about. Your biggest fears are right in front of you. Life has eaten you up and spit you out.

It’s tough because you look at all those people around you who never work as hard as you, yet you are the one who manages to go through so much. And then you’ll find yourself asking questions as to why you have to deal with such adversity, yet the people who don’t work as hard get to coast through life. But that you don’t want, what you never want to do, is make your disdain at your situation make you angry at another person’s life. Number one, never make the assumption that their life is going well. And number two, your life could actually worsen from where it currently is because you are so focused on them. Yet it’s hard to do so when you’re going through so much.

See, in the end, that unknown that you’re entering that is life can be petrifying. Even when you are prepared to live your life, you still have fears about each and every day. You don’t know when the supervisor will come in and say, “We had to let you go.” You don’t know when a simple hospital visit could be a longer stay that reveals a terminal situation. Yet thinking about it daily will also drive you crazy. So you live, going to sleep waking up, not knowing what will come of each day. But it is also that unknown that strangely enough makes you feel alive. That makes us appreciate everyday, because after all, it could be your last: last in a relationship, last on a job, last in life.


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VISIONARY: HOW YOU SEE LIFE SAYS A LOT ABOUT HOW FAR YOU MIGHT GO IN LIFE

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“Do you see life as a whole, or part of a whole?”


Since moving to New York City, I have consistently been motivated to become a working screenwriter/filmmaker and author. And how I see the world is why I feel ultimately I will succeed in my writing. So I view the world as a place that can only get better from where I was yesterday. So whatever I was doing last year is helping to set me up with what I am doing now, to succeed tomorrow. But what is it about some people who just don’t see the world in the most positive light? They only have something to say that is shrouded in hurt and pain. There is nothing they say that points to wanting a better life. Scary thing is that they would prefer you follow them and how they see the world. And God forbid you ignore their wishes and go off to become successful. They will come up with every reason as to why you were in a different position than themselves.

But truth be told, you don’t need to be born with money to propel yourself to the next level. Your mind frame says a lot about you; your vision of the world. The above photo is of a woman’s hands viewing the wide open landscape wit her hands creating a box. It’s something that directors do in movies to get the idea of something that is in frame that they want to convey in a film scene. But when they move their hands, they say action and role camera. Imagine walking around society looking through this box. That is how so many negative people see life because they refuse to move their hands to see the full landscape. Their boundaries are everything in the box and when you move outside the box, something must be wrong with you. How dare you operate outside the box.

Well, operating outside the box is the reason why the filmmaker was able to sit down and create the film. The in frame box gives you a more heightened sense of what is going in the movie scene. But in life there is so much more than the square your hands create. Now, can anyone drop their hands so they see the broad spectrum of life? Of course they can, but it requires giving up the way you currently think and feel. And no one wants to believe that their thought process is wrong. People want to believe that the reason for their lives going the way it’s going is forces, coincidentally enough, outside the box. But they don’t address what could be addressed because not addressing the truth head on allows them to be romanticized with their own bullshit. So they stay living in a trance, yet wonder why they go nowhere.

In the end, shifting your perception is what allows you to move forward in life. It’s like how people who live in poverty say that it’s easy to say when you have money. But it’s the mind that makes up the people moving into a more stable situation. If you are willing to put yourself in the know, you can have a lot. But the mind is not freely thinking enough because people cannot see past their current position.


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PURSUE OR PAUSE: WHAT MAKES US NOT PURSUE

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“I’m afraid to pursue, but more afraid to not.”


Moving to New York City to attend graduate would have been a very scary move for so many, but not me. I just came out to the big city back in 2011 and have been here ever since. But I am also in the process of pursuing something else and that is screenwriting, filmmaking, and soon photography. These are career paths that so many for so long have strayed away from because the failure rate is so high. But why make the decision to not pursue something just because you’re afraid of failure. If you want to succeed at a high level you have to jump off the cliff at some point. So what is the problem with so many people and this failure to step out into the world?

Well, one of the reasons we as people decide not to pursue our dreams and play life safe is because we have hard wired in us on a nature level to not pursue things that are dangerous. It’s one of the reasons man has survived so long on this planet, is because we don’t take a lot of scary risks. We learn that taking the most basic of routes through life may not provide you with the happiness, but you are more secure. But yet, there are those who do step out into the world and take the plunge. Those who feel they can change the world, and more often than not, they do change the world. So what is it about them that they are able to change the world?

For starters, these are typically people who already have to some degree a level of intellect that they possess in something. And from there it’s all about unlocking that inner thing that makes them, them. Now once you unlock that inner you, most people will mistaken what you are for arrogance, antisocial at times, or crazy. They just don’t understand that when you finally figure out your thing it becomes more of an obsession. And to them, they think about life -pertaining to their day jobs. So they can’t for the life of themselves understand why you are going so hard or talking with such confidence. Little do they know you have unlocked you. Unlike them who are afraid to pursue that which could make them really successful, they run.

They run because it’s not necessarily the success that they fear, but what comes with it. Because the greater you are, the more people expect, the greater you have to continue to become. So that on top of failure, we as humans just play life safe. But those who pursue, not only do they free up a next generation, but the next generation go on to make something great for those that come after them. And anything great inevitably contributes to the dominant society. So in the end, which will you become, the person that pursue or the one that pause. But whatever the case may be, the choice is yours, and be able to live with the choices you make in life.


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YOU’RE OWED NOTHING: WHY DO PEOPLE THINK SUCCESS IS A GIVEN

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“The world is yours, if you go get it.”


Living in the United States, you notice that so many people have this built in mind-frame that someone is supposed to pick you up and drop you into this life of success. Your parents have raised you making you think that you’re special, and everything is golden. Then you step out into the real world and realize that no one gives a damn about you. No one cares that you were the captain of the high school football team or that you belonged to a respected fraternity or sorority in college. It’s all about you against the world; your talents and work ethic up against whatever obstacle is in front of you. And that is the dilemma I am already faced with in life. But every time I think about how hard I have it, I think about my mother and grandparents generation. Or better yet, my great grandparents who never even got through high school because they had to work at a young age.

Then I remember that they grew up in Jim Crow south and there was limited opportunities because they were African Americans. But they came to the Midwest with little to nothing and raised a family. My great grandfather working in a factory and great grandmother staying at home. They both could barely read or write but they weathered the storm and made it in life. Now here I am in New York City, and people ask me, how do you live in that city. And in my mind it’s just another city to get used to because if they survived Jim Crow and Miss Dixie, I can survive NYC. And I grew up knowing you had to make something of self wherever I decided to live. I’m not where I want to be, but I am putting in the time. Laying the ground work for what hopefully can be a prosperous life down the road.

So when I hear people and their stories about their hardships they had, you just have to realize that the world just doesn’t care. Growing up for me, I was raised by a single parent not developing a relationship with my dad until my mid-twenties. But what has helped to continue to move is living in a society where you have no other choice. That on top of knowing what I wanted to do at a young age, aids me in moving on also. But you have so many who ponder over why they have been dealt a bad had, and who owes them something. And maybe that was started due to the welfare that our government gives to us. Yet I was raised with the understanding that once again, if you are not where you want to be in life, find a way to get there, or not. Because it tends to be a very binary decision. You’re either going to do something or do nothing.

In the end, you have to come to the realization of something I have learned living in New York City alone. The only person who has a stake in interest in you doing anything in this world, is you. I recently made my second short film, and couldn’t raise all the funding, but hey, I made it anyways. I adjusted the script to fit my budget I did raise. So you suck it up and deal with what comes, there’s no other way. You fall five times, get up 6. Or stay on the ground, but if you do, know that it’s on you. And if you can live with that fine, otherwise, get to work.


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KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP FIGHTING

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“Don’t walk away when success is on the other side.”


For the past 6.5 years I have been writing my screenplays, with the hopes of securing an agent. Now that I have more of a handle on my writing, I want to pursue an agent in the year 2018. But what I don’t want to do is quit when I am so close to doing what it is I want to do in life. I always remember the quote from Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I have used this quote in other prior posts as well. And that feeling that so many people get when they stop pursuing and see others doing what they wanted to do. It hurts because it makes them realize how they might have been able to win if they stuck it out. But instead they ran away because it became far too tough to continue. And why do so many stop short of their dreams in life.

Usually people stop pursuing because they are getting older and older and start to see their lives slipping away from them. They are pumped about their dream job at 20 years old, then 25 comes and they’re still pumped. But once 30 years of age hits, they start to get that feeling of it hasn’t happened by now. That feeling that everyone else is going on in life without you, but you are still dragging along. I myself, am 30 years old pursuing screenwriting/filmmaking and as a novelist, but I work retail and as an usher. Most people I know have already gotten married and started having children. But me, I am single and have no children; and from the looks of things, I won’t be having children and dating anytime soon. And in a life that is long, why do we have these ways of seeing the world as over at such a young age? It’s because we are on a clock that society has stated you should be doing certain things by a certain age.

But then again, why should we be doing certain things? What if you’re like me and don’t want to get married or have children? You tend to look at society from a totally different standpoint. To you, life is long and you have years to focus on building a family. Yet to those living by the societal standard, they must be married by a certain point, have children, have a career. And the question states, why? There is no scientific proof of the world not spinning on its axis if you don’t live your life by certain standards. I’s because we want to be accepted, even if it’s at the cost of not being happy. We would much rather exist in a world where we’re unhappy and fit the societal standard than to be dangerous on the outside of it. And in the end, that’s why we fall short of our success. We want to satisfy others and not ourselves. We want to fit into a group not build on something we love. It’s a lot of group think in order to be with the pack. And people want the group acceptance.


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YOUR VISION NOT ANYONE ELSE’S: WHY THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU

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“Don’t expect them to believe in you.”


Someone I work with today was informing me that they have had enough and it was time to pursue their purpose. They were about the quite work and embark on their journey to their own personal greatness. It struck me as odd because this was a person who worked a lot, but now they were quitting. But I am embarking on my own journey, and I don’t know what road it will take me down. And that’s when it hit me, I don’t know this person’s inner workings. Maybe they feel that they have it figured out and things are finally making sense inside of their heads. The pieces are starting to come together and everything is working out for the best. But what is it about the people who don’t see your vision? They can not see you past what you are in the moment, and it takes them longer. Sometimes they never turn around, and only live to see you falter.

The reason being is that they may now have passions of their own, or they might not want to see you above them. If you are working a dead-end job and someone is above you, why would they want to see you prevail in life. They might hate their job just as much as you hate yours, but at least they have the upper hand over you. What happens when you overshoot the runaway of what they expected. Your airplane was never supposed to have made it out of the gate. But you have managed to fly off the runway and into the sky. So much so that you are cruising at altitude while they are still at the terminal watching you soar in the air. And that is when it sinks into their head that they must try to say something, anything to get you to stop working.

Because if they give you the confidence to keep pushing, then what is there out here for them. And that’s when you learn that there are people who look at life in the scope of their failures is your success. If you doing so much and they are not where you are, then what does that say about them. So they have to bring you down a few pegs. But if your life is in so much of a wrecked place, do something about it. Don’t try to bring someone else down because you have not landed on your feet. You are not where you thought you would be by now, so in an attempt to not feel alone, you want to keep them where you are in life. This also falls into the whole crabs in a barrel mentality. You are fine by me, so long as we all are stuck in this one place together. And that’s when you have to make moves to separate yourself.

Because in the end, your personal growth is your growth. It’s not up to you to help another adult figure out their stuff in life. You are responsible for your own problems. So as you pursue your dreams, don’t listen to the crowd noise. Your main goal should be to try to tape into the minds of those that love and respect your vision. You are going to always have adversaries, that’s the nature of the game. Just as long as you meet your expectations, that’s all that truly matters.


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BOY YOU LOOK DIFFERENT: WHY OUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TAKE FORM OVER TIME

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“I don’t look different, it’s called life.”


When I wake up in the morning and look at myself, I always think, “Man, I have not changed that much since high school. Yeah, sure I’m more mature and I have learned to be a lot more responsible. But my physical appearance is not that much different. Yet when I look at people from my past years so far in life, they bare a totally different look than what I remembered. Maybe it’s because the person got pregnant and had a child. In that case, you will take on a new form, especially your physique. Or maybe the person got into a terrible accident or was stricken with some type of illness. Then there are the people who say screw it and let themselves go. Almost like why bother trying to keep myself together. Well, I have a few reasons why they are unrecognizable; and I have already touched on a few.

When you are young, especially in high school, you care more about what other people think. You’re active, which means you have not got into a rut. You are not fed up with the world because you have not stepped into the world. Yet the moment you leave high school, you take on your own mindset. You begin to hang around different people and your life begins to move around. Yes, granted in the four years preceding high school, you still are to an extent stuck into the mind-frame of high school. But as you come through those years, you start to notice people becoming someone you can’t familiarize yourself with anymore. From the way they talk to how their bodies take form. Then college end and you really start to not notice the person you once knew. And like I said before, physically they become unrecognizable. And what happens that causes this physical reaction?

Children. that’s right children. I know people who have already had children, so keeping yourself together becomes not as important once you become a parent. Unless you have a certain means of finances, it becomes quite difficult to care for yourself. You’re feeding the children, chasing the children, making sure the children stay out of trouble. So days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, and slowly but surely, they give up. Now, to play devil’s advocate if I may, I don’t think people just give up. I don’t think people want to work as hard as we have to in the first place. It’s just that we use so much of our outer to attract others to us, then we become what we really want to be eventually. Keeping yourself looking a certain way is work that does not pay. And it has already been a job since high school. So you figure why bother now.

See, in the end, we would all like to stay looking young and fresh. But it’s such a tough time trying to keep ourselves. Me, I have not gained much weight since high school. I have not had a rough life since high school; sure I work harder, but physically, I’m still me. I guess it’s tough once you become an adult with a full time job. You’re doing this and doing that, running here and there; you sort of lose sight of physical aspects of life like your own appearance. And then you fall into this world-wind of who cares.


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