OH, HE’S BLACK: THE OBJECTION TO DATING BLACK MEN

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“Why they object.”


I read a recent post on Instagram where a statement was made regarding model Ashley Graham. She is currently married to a Black male and stated that at first members of her family were apprehensive. See, if you haven’t already guessed she is White and he is Black. But why, why is it still an issue of whom you bring home of another ethnic group? But most of all, why is it persona non grata, in dating Black men? As a Black male myself, you know all the stereotypes connected. But all men and women have them in some shape or another. Yet it is us who parents are the most against in dating their daughters.

All the reasons for not wanting a female to date Black men I have heard them over and over again. But these same responses exist in other men. People say their reasons as if it is perfection on the other side. Then what is the real reason for not wanting your daughter dating Black men. One reason is that even though we are told racism is not much of an issue today like in the past, there is a fear. You know that if your child does give birth, chances are, it will look more African American than anything else. And you know that people in society are prejudice. It’s easy to say I am lying, but when your grandchild comes home after being teased and discriminated against, it becomes a different story.

You become forced to face the inevitable. How do you tell your grandchild it is all in your head? Easy to say to me, not so easy to say to them when we live in the real world where these types of people exist. But another reason why parents are so apprehensive is because of fear of what might happen to their child. And I don’t mean from the man, but society. She is now in the line of fire just as much as me. Everything he is subjugated to, she is touched just as much for being with him. So it’s yet another smack dab in your face situation. No parent wants to deal with the idea of their daughter coming home crying because she was threatened because of who she dates. But this is a reality when in an interracial relationship.

Well, why won’t people confront their families. I mean, if you don’t agree with it should be easy right; wrong. If anything it’s harder because your family are not people you chose, but they are the only family you have. So if your interracial relationship don’t workout, they have to work. So the tolerance of dealing with family is higher than a relationship because family is more guaranteed. And that leads me to my third reason people are apprehensive. You can lose a lot when choosing to date outside your ethnicity. Because you might not get opportunities because you’re with who you’re with. You think it’s because someone else is better, it might be because who you are dating rubs people the wrong way.

In the end, I don’t think the views will change that much. I know me as a Black male, and as a overall human being. If people are not willing to accept me for me, I don’t believe I could deal with it. But I guess some people want the other person that much. And I guess that’s what it boils down to; how much you want that other person. Others are not willing to give up that much, but some are, and for the ones that give everything up, it’s worth it.


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Author: faheemjackson44

I am from Racine, Wisconsin where I was raised until I graduated high school back in the year 2006. That entire time growing up in my mother's house, I was a student athlete. My goal was to embark on a general business career or athletics. But injuries through sports stopped a sports path, so I decided upon business with a focus in marketing. While attending undergraduate school at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, I began to write screenplays in my senior year. At first it was for fun, but I quickly learned writing allow me to transfer negative energy into characters I created. This led to a decrease in depressing mood swings, which in turn boosted my quality of life. After undergraduate school in May of 2011, I move to New York City for graduate school. While pursuing my MBA, I continued to write screenplays, but always wanted to write novels as well. I finished graduate school back in the year 2014, but wrote screenplays until I began thinking of my first short film, first First Day Fears. While finishing my fifth feature length screenplay, I started to write my first novel this year. So far, I have finished my first short film and working on my next one (Freedomless Speech), and recently self published my first novel (The Boy Who Could Talk To God) and short stories book (Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Volume 1). My feature length screenplays have been put on temporary hold to finish my short films and books, but I am making good progress on my sixth feature length screenplay. With year 2017 ending, I am currently writing my novel Precinct 86 and Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Vol. 2. I have started teaching myself photography and will pursuing that by summer of 2018, along with my videography, podcast later on, and more research for my documentary.

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