PRO WHAT: CAN YOU BE FOR YOUR GROUP AND BE WITH ANOTHER

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“Righteous outside your group.”


proud from the outside

I have heard from various people that you cannot be pro your ethnic group and marry from the outside. And for the longest I have been trying to figure out what that means. Because living in America to tell groups of people who come from different backgrounds to not marry each other yet promote them living and existing in the same proximity is mind boggling to me. Nowhere on Earth do we have a place where people are that wide and diverse where we are still shocked when they cohabitate with each other. And the idea that you can not be in the best interest of your group can be seen as mind boggling as well. But is there some truth to the madness? Well, lets observe for just one second what that could mean and look like in America.

one will live, one will die

When you marry someone of another culture, chances are, when the kid gets older and marry themselves they tend to choose. And the reality is, in that defining moment is when a lot of the culture of one of those groups is gone forever. So when you hear people say that you can’t be pro-your group and then marry outside, that could be an indicator. Now, do people intend on removing their identity from existence? The answer to that question is of course no. But the reality is, they do remove it. Meaning, if I marry a Latina, we have a child, chances are, that child will choose either African American culture or Latino culture. And just like that, in a full generation, something is lost forever. But what do you do tp keep this from happening?

proximity can keep things going

If you live in the same environment as the other group, then things tend to last a lot longer. If a Chinese person marries a Japanese person, it is a big deal overseas, but not quite in America. And the transition between the Eastern countries are for fluid in America than most groups. So when you have such close ties, then there is a possibility that the cultures can hold strong longer than most. Now, when you have something like a Pakistani that attempts to marry a Mexican, then things may go in a different direction because one is so much different. Now, when both groups live in the United States in the same metropolitan city, then and only then might the marriage stand a chance (ex. New York City).

stick to your guns

When in doubt, wait until someone who is of your group comes along. This could take a lot of time for your life to work and transpire. But you don’t have to worry about all the issues coming form outside your relationship. But if you are not concerned what people think continue to live. But whatever the case make sure you know this what you truly want. But also, are you prepared to do the same for your children?


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AFRICAN AND AFRICAN AMERICAN: HOW DOES THE MOTHER LAND VIEW US HERE USING THE TERM

Men And Women Wit Kids

“Same color different culture.”


from there here we are

I have always wondered what do Africans think of the term African Americans. Because that term describing Black people in America is actually a young term that was coined not as early as the 1980’s. How do they view the idea of us in America using the word African? Because yes, so many of us are descendants of African slaves forced over in the 1600’s. But what are their thoughts today regarding the wording? And from my understanding it’s an on the fence viewpoint. Because the are Africans who embrace, others reject it.

culture versus ethnicity

There is no doubt where we (Black People) come from as a group. Black people didn’t evolve in this country. We an’t pinpoint the exact area of Africa, but what are the differences between us and them. The obvious are the different cultural ways of life. Black people in America culture comes from the relationship with this country, Africans come from what they created on the continent of Africa. When it comes to ethnicity, our ethnicity in America is unknown because that aspect of us was lost. But overseas in Africa, they held on to their identity. So ethnicity is subject for debate while culture is different.

the struggles we share

There is something we share, and it is not necessarily a good thing. There have been many problems and fights for Africans and us here in America. Africa had their version of Jim Crow, and have had their own civil rights movements. There are slight variations that make our struggles and movements  different.

sights and sounds

When looking at the clothes and listening to the music in Africa, you can’t help but acknowledge where a lot of music in America came from. What’s interesting is that so many musicians don’t even study African tribal music, yet the beats are close to the beats overseas. It’s almost as if this something that we as Black people in America inherited. That ear for song and dance has stuck with us in America.


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MINORITY SELECTION: WHO WILL BE THE NEXT MINORITY PRESIDENT

achievement, adult, african

“Whose next?”


2020 and beyond

The presidential election run of Barack Obama left a door open for the next president either Black or any other ethnic group. But the question still stands, who next? Because in my opinion, there will be a White female before anyone else. There aren’t any prominent East Asian politicians or Indians that are strong candidates. The closest Hispanic/Latino candidates would be Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz. And the only African American next that’s remotely a force would be Kamala Harris. Now, do I think this will happen in 2020, no. Because in my opinion, just observing the landscape of America, Donald J. Trump will be back in the White House in 2020.

importance

What is the real significance in having a president that is of another ethnic group. Doesn’t mean much to the group who has always seen a president that looks like them. Even now with young Black kids growing up. They didn’t understand why older Black people, typically middle aged and above, were in enamored with Barack Obama. Yet, for someone who has never seen themselves in that position it means a lot. Let’s look at something on a much smaller scale. The former New York Knicks basketball player Jeremy Lin was an anomaly in the NBA. He was an Chinese American basketball player, who not only played in the NBA, but played well for New York. The interest from the entire East Asian community created a massive following for the Knicks. So I’m thinking, what would happen if there was a “Lin” for president.

what is a minority really

We always look at the word minority and say to ourselves, ethnicity. But what about the first White female president and a member of the LGBT community of any ethnic group. We will in our lifetime see a president that is one of the two mentioned in the previous sentence. The questions are who and when will it take place. Because from the looks of America right now, Donald Trump, or another like him (White male, older conservative), will be president if not him. Does it matter if we do have another president of a minority group? Does it have to be another African American? How about Hispanic? What about Native American? How about a White person, but a female? East Asian? Or is America going to stick with what has been in history which is White males? Because we all say pick the most qualified candidate, but I am intrigued to know when these historic moments occur, who really votes from the job or the historical image.


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IDENTITY: THE IMPORTANCE OF A STRONG CULTURAL IDENTITY

“A name, a religion, an identity.”


 so so important

In a world where social and political strife has been erupting lately, what is the significance of having an identity on a ethnic level mean to you? Because I can speak for my myself coming from a family who were descendant of slaves, there is no real strong culture like a lot of families globally. Meaning we don’t have an official language, religion, country, or namesake.

actor, adult, ancient

And the problem with not having an identity of your own, and having someone else dictate your identity, is that you seek validation from that group. And then when that group shows the slightest bit of disinterest there is this fight to be had. It’s why you must define yourself, and not look to other groups to do it for you.

the fear that is identity

Why would there be fear connected to the identity of another person? Well, the reason why fear exist is because you seek to control a group of people. How do you control people who have their own cultural identifier. Little you say or do matters to them as a people. But when you are able to manipulate and control, that group needs you.

And the reason why you may seek to control is because there is a supremacy factor. Supremacy lies in the ability to feel better than another group of people. But also you need another group to show why you’re not in your supreme position so you can have a reason to continue to hate and look to self as the reason you’re not successful.

shifts and changes

As time progress, will we see cultures collapse, and due to war and conquest. But we may see the decline to the introduction of more and more technology. The cultures of the past that have held groups together has gone from one of isolation to one of inclusion. We are becoming more and more a one world place to live.

But can that last forever (togetherness), since we as people have a hard time coexisting for too long. There always going to be someone who wants a little more than someone else. Someone working harder or going to be smarter. And that advantage will bring us together, but will also give rise to new wars and separation. Man loves having an advantage, and with that comes power, and with power comes abuse. So thinking we will be this one world place in the future is farfetched, which is why cultural identity is important.


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OH, HE’S BLACK: THE OBJECTION TO DATING BLACK MEN

Image result for interracial dating

“Why they object.”


I read a recent post on Instagram where a statement was made regarding model Ashley Graham. She is currently married to a Black male and stated that at first members of her family were apprehensive. See, if you haven’t already guessed she is White and he is Black. But why, why is it still an issue of whom you bring home of another ethnic group? But most of all, why is it persona non grata, in dating Black men? As a Black male myself, you know all the stereotypes connected. But all men and women have them in some shape or another. Yet it is us who parents are the most against in dating their daughters.

All the reasons for not wanting a female to date Black men I have heard them over and over again. But these same responses exist in other men. People say their reasons as if it is perfection on the other side. Then what is the real reason for not wanting your daughter dating Black men. One reason is that even though we are told racism is not much of an issue today like in the past, there is a fear. You know that if your child does give birth, chances are, it will look more African American than anything else. And you know that people in society are prejudice. It’s easy to say I am lying, but when your grandchild comes home after being teased and discriminated against, it becomes a different story.

You become forced to face the inevitable. How do you tell your grandchild it is all in your head? Easy to say to me, not so easy to say to them when we live in the real world where these types of people exist. But another reason why parents are so apprehensive is because of fear of what might happen to their child. And I don’t mean from the man, but society. She is now in the line of fire just as much as me. Everything he is subjugated to, she is touched just as much for being with him. So it’s yet another smack dab in your face situation. No parent wants to deal with the idea of their daughter coming home crying because she was threatened because of who she dates. But this is a reality when in an interracial relationship.

Well, why won’t people confront their families. I mean, if you don’t agree with it should be easy right; wrong. If anything it’s harder because your family are not people you chose, but they are the only family you have. So if your interracial relationship don’t workout, they have to work. So the tolerance of dealing with family is higher than a relationship because family is more guaranteed. And that leads me to my third reason people are apprehensive. You can lose a lot when choosing to date outside your ethnicity. Because you might not get opportunities because you’re with who you’re with. You think it’s because someone else is better, it might be because who you are dating rubs people the wrong way.

In the end, I don’t think the views will change that much. I know me as a Black male, and as a overall human being. If people are not willing to accept me for me, I don’t believe I could deal with it. But I guess some people want the other person that much. And I guess that’s what it boils down to; how much you want that other person. Others are not willing to give up that much, but some are, and for the ones that give everything up, it’s worth it.


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BLACK AND PROUD: THE DIFFICULTY IN “BEING BLACK” WHILE BEING BLACK.

Image result for black pride

“Do you ever feel like it’s hard being you?”

“Oh, it’s too Black!” “You don’t act Black!” These are a couple of the phrases I’ve heard in my life regarding to my ethnicity. Trying to stay true to yourself is difficult when you are an African American. Because to the White men and women, you’re too Black. And as it pertains to Black people you’re not Black enough. I have had to deal with this tug of war since childhood, and now adulthood. When you’re working in a place of employment, chances are it’s around mostly White, you walk this fine line. You’re usually putting on this face that is nowhere near who you really are outside of work. Then there are the Black people who don’t seem like they quite fit into their own group. Usually demonstrating unfamiliar understandings of certain cultural references because of interest that are different than the group.

For me, I am big on culture; not just African American culture, but any other culture as well. Growing up in my mother’s house, she not only encouraged us, but forced us into environments where people were different than yourself. She knew something we didn’t, and that is if you want to be able to succeed in this society, you need to be able to communicate with different groups of people. It didn’t matter if we were spending the day at the library, or the schools where we received our educations. Diversity was encouraged, which was something that I didn’t see in my immediate environment. A lot of the kids hung around those that look like them, talked like them, dressed like them, even ate the foods they ate. Unlike them, in our household you were encouraged to try new music, food, and clothes.

Now you ask, what does any of this have to do with being Black. Well, a lot because like I said before, there is this tug of war. You’re caught in between two worlds. The world of my immediate surroundings, such as my community which is Black. And then there is the daily workplace which consists of predominantly White. So, with me, I have a pride in Black culture, but that pride tends to come at a cost of making a White constituency uncomfortable. Yet on the other hand, I enjoy the pleasures of taking part in activities or subscribing to certain forms of thinking that do not align with the Black community or certain agendas within it. For instance, I love 90’s hip hop and 80’s rock and roll. What an interesting combination of Death Row Records, No Limit, and Bad Boy, with a touch of Aerosmith, Motle Crue, and ACDC.

But being me is more than just the food I eat and music I listen to through my iPod. It’s not something I am aspiring to be, nor is something that I’m trying to play a role within. Being Black is a shared experience. It’s a feeling, the way you think and breathe. It’s walking up the street, coming in contact with a troublesome situation and giving the head nod to one another. An action that has long been associated with hip and cool, yet is a sign that we understand the situation and I’m looking out like you looking out. Being Black is finishing quotes like, “God is good all the time and all the time God is good.” “It’s knowing what is really meant by wading in the water and lift every voice.” It’s knowing why Black women really love the utility of wearing their hair in braids or dreads and the first thought that crosses your mind as a Black man as you come in contact with the police.

You see, in the end, when someone ask me about acting Black, I shake my head. Why? Because you can’t act Black. Ever act Chinese or how about acting Russian. Ever been told stop acting Native American. Usually when told you’re acting Black there is a negative connotation which is more of a back-handed, under-handed, and over-handed smack to the face. I don’t aspire to be, I just am. It’s not an article of clothing nor is it a particular genre of music. It’s not eating certain food or conversing with a certain vernacular. It’s Educated, check; respectable, check; law abiding, check; driven, check; ambitious, check; and most imitated, double check. I never, nor have I ever felt I needed to rise to any level of Blackness because I am Black and Black is I.

WHO AM I: THE IMPORTANCE OF IDENTITY

“Does where you come from matter?”

I have heard my whole life regarding heritage as a African American to forget about it. You’re an American, who cares about the past. And that makes sense if not for other groups of people holding on to their heritage. Another thing I’ve witnessed in my life has been the festivals and carnivals held in the name of other people’s heritage. So if everything revolves around America, how come no one ever tells Irish, Italians, Jews, Polish, Germans, English, to abandon all beliefs from those regions. In America we still celebrate these groups with events each year.

As a matter of fact the Confederate Flag, representing a group of men who aimed at keeping us enslaved is seen as a proud heritage symbol. But when I flag the Pan-African, African American Liberation flag there is an issue. So I started to think, why? You would think we are the only group seperating, but living here in New York City gave me an insight into multiple groups who still hold on to their own groups’ heritage. Well, why is it such a problem?

For starters, having a strong ethnic identity is power. Look at the groups of people with a strong cultural and ethnic identifier: Chinese, Indian, Nigerian, Jews, and Italians. These are just a few groups who take pride in their ethnicity. So much so, that their is a preference of their children marrying within the group to guarantee the continuation of the group. But the previous groups I just named are very powerful. They are rich in success, self-respect, discipline, and feel less inferior as it pertains to others. Not that they feel they are better, they just expect more.

When I look at the population of Black people in America, we use t have this in our community. But something took place over the past 30 – 40 years that changed all that. Not to mention, Jim Crow and Slavery. We are the only group in America without names, religion, homeland, military protection, nor government that will rally for the community. Yes, we are Americans by way of legality, but in order for the system to move, it usually has to involve a victim from the White community before they act.

So it brings up the question, who am I? When you live in a world where you are so frowned upon you start to search your lineage. Hoping to find something, anything that will give you an insight into where you come from. Why is it important? Because my whole life I have been reminded that you’re only a visitor, this really isn’t your country. Then if not here, where? Free slaves founded Liberia, and they have their own country. But what is our land? If I leave America, I’m still a visitor somewhere else. So I go where do I go?

In the recent years, companies like Ancestry and 23andme have aimed to aid people in their search of self. I have often contemplated using one of these services. Researchers have spent years testing groups throughout the globe. So there is a very strong confidence in the test accuracy. People may say, who cares, but I do. Like I said earlier, I am constantly being reminded either you don’t belong or you have no history. And the more disdain you receive the more you want to find out. And I am not asking for anything any other group has: cultural identity and their “own” base.