NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE: WHY YOU SHOULDN’T FORCE LIFE, LET IT HAPPEN

Man Sitting on the Mountain Edge

“Sometimes you have to take time off.”


When you’re working and you have been going for so long that you get that mental wear and tear, you have to step back. Forcing success to come out won’t work because is has to be an organic feel. When it’s real it’s real, and when you force it, you’re just going to wind-up putting out more trash. So when you’re going through one of those mental breakdowns, remember to do the following.

OWN IT

Realize that there is a problem going on inside your head. Know that you have hit a point where you’re not able to think past this moment. And I say moment because if you have been moving toward your goal long enough, it is momentary to have a stuck point. It’s normal to perform well time and time again, then out of nowhere lose your groove.

ASSESS IT

Now that you have owned up to the problem, the next step is trying to figure out how you got to this point. Is it that you have worked yourself tiresome? Or could it be that you have not worked smart enough, just hard enough? Because there is a difference between working hard and smart. So know how you came to this mental block.

THE PLAN TO FIX

Here is where you devise a plan to fix the issue that is keeping you from moving forward in life. This point will be not only how you leave your current situation, but also will aid in how you deal with future problems hereafter. Now, don’t be mislead, sometimes the best laid plans go astray. But having the plan keeps you on track to being back to the old you.

EXECUTE

Here is the point at which you implement the plan to bring yourself back to the old you. The execution will draw the strength from within that will get you over the hump and back on track to success. Which will ultimately lead into the last stage.

PROSPERITY

This is the stage at which you are back to success, or on track as usual toward success. Now what’s interesting about this entire passage is that we will all have these obstacles in our lives. That’s why we should experience the hurt at a young age, so by the time we get older we know it before it hits us. Yet if we don’t learn to take these lumps early in life, much harder days will cripple us down the line.


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RUNNING ON EMPTY: TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH AT ONCE

burnout, close-up, composition

“Take it easy people.”


Have you ever had the feeling like you’re operating on fumes. And what do I mean by fumes. I mean people who spend their days running from one place to another; whether it’s running errands for the house or tending to your children. For me, I am pursuing a career as an artist, so I am all over the map. But let me break down the type of artist. I came to New York City pursuing a career in screenwriting/filmmaking in the year 2011. And since then, I have written two books, made two short films, and wrote nearly ten screenplays as a practice to get better as a writer. Oh, and let’s not forget the two blogs I started on WordPress and Medium, with photography and podcasting coming in the year 2018. So as you can see, I am all over the map. But there is more structure to my work than you might expect.

But with the structure comes the feeling of running on empty. That feeling you get when trying to accomplish too much at once. So, you have to sit back and assess situations; come to the conclusion on what needs to be done first. Prioritizing is very important when trying to figure out your task at hand. Knowing what you should be working on, and what will aid you in getting to where you have to go faster and more efficient. Like I said before, you might think I am doing a lot, but I am a very productive person. But for those that are less productive, they could use a little assistance in the areas where I am typically strong. Here are a few pointers for working smarter so you have less stress and more energy.

THE MARATHON METHOD

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When I am working, I utilize my time like someone running a marathon. You don’t run a marathon all out because that is virtually, if at all possible. You must race to stay with the pack, at times putting a little burst of speed to keep the other runners on their toes. But also you’re putting yourself into position as well, not to mention anticipating the strength of the other people around you. And that is how I work; make sure to put enough into your work, then slow down a little bit. Give yourself time to assess the work you have done thus far. And if it’s going to be a long day, I typically go hard early, then coast a little bit; opening up my stride throughout the afternoon. And if I am working through the evening, then I reignite like earlier in the day. People wonder where my energy comes from, it’s because I know how to work smarter not faster. But I also have learned over the years the limitations of my body.

PLAN AHEAD

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Have a plan for what you’re going to be working on the day of. This might be the night before, days, or even weeks earlier. For me, I like to walk great distances to the computer lab at my former graduate school where I contribute to my blog and write my screenplays. This way, it gives me time to think about a particular topic for when I sit down and start. Now what’s interesting about me, is that I don’t think about a topic to write. Thinking about a topic to write, makes writing harder for me. When I want to plan my day for writing, I think about something totally unrelated to writing, so once I sit down to write, I have a topic to write about.

KNOWING YOU MEANS A MORE SUCCESSFUL YOU

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A big, big understanding you must have of yourself is a strong sense of self awareness. Know what your mind and body can take as you work. I am someone who can work all day everyday, and rarely get tired. But that is me, you might work a different way. Now notice I said work all day everyday, but I didn’t say on what I was working on. My day consist of me working on a few chosen projects, maybe even one if I feel I can be more productive with the one. I never try to put too much on my plate at one time. All that does is cause unnecessary stress and tension that you don’t have to have in your life. So only carry a load in which you know you can hold.

POSSIBILITIES: In the end, knowing how to manage your time and stress levels can lead to a more prosperous and satisfying life. Too often, we try to cram everything in at once because we have this tomorrow is not promised to us mentality. And to an extent, we are not promised tomorrow, but on average, we are given another day. So when you try to cram so much in, in one day, you inevitably drain yourself for the next day. You become less productive and less efficient, thus feeling as if you’re running on empty.


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KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP FIGHTING

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“Don’t walk away when success is on the other side.”


For the past 6.5 years I have been writing my screenplays, with the hopes of securing an agent. Now that I have more of a handle on my writing, I want to pursue an agent in the year 2018. But what I don’t want to do is quit when I am so close to doing what it is I want to do in life. I always remember the quote from Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I have used this quote in other prior posts as well. And that feeling that so many people get when they stop pursuing and see others doing what they wanted to do. It hurts because it makes them realize how they might have been able to win if they stuck it out. But instead they ran away because it became far too tough to continue. And why do so many stop short of their dreams in life.

Usually people stop pursuing because they are getting older and older and start to see their lives slipping away from them. They are pumped about their dream job at 20 years old, then 25 comes and they’re still pumped. But once 30 years of age hits, they start to get that feeling of it hasn’t happened by now. That feeling that everyone else is going on in life without you, but you are still dragging along. I myself, am 30 years old pursuing screenwriting/filmmaking and as a novelist, but I work retail and as an usher. Most people I know have already gotten married and started having children. But me, I am single and have no children; and from the looks of things, I won’t be having children and dating anytime soon. And in a life that is long, why do we have these ways of seeing the world as over at such a young age? It’s because we are on a clock that society has stated you should be doing certain things by a certain age.

But then again, why should we be doing certain things? What if you’re like me and don’t want to get married or have children? You tend to look at society from a totally different standpoint. To you, life is long and you have years to focus on building a family. Yet to those living by the societal standard, they must be married by a certain point, have children, have a career. And the question states, why? There is no scientific proof of the world not spinning on its axis if you don’t live your life by certain standards. I’s because we want to be accepted, even if it’s at the cost of not being happy. We would much rather exist in a world where we’re unhappy and fit the societal standard than to be dangerous on the outside of it. And in the end, that’s why we fall short of our success. We want to satisfy others and not ourselves. We want to fit into a group not build on something we love. It’s a lot of group think in order to be with the pack. And people want the group acceptance.


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BOY YOU LOOK DIFFERENT: WHY OUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TAKE FORM OVER TIME

Blue Denim Jeans

“I don’t look different, it’s called life.”


When I wake up in the morning and look at myself, I always think, “Man, I have not changed that much since high school. Yeah, sure I’m more mature and I have learned to be a lot more responsible. But my physical appearance is not that much different. Yet when I look at people from my past years so far in life, they bare a totally different look than what I remembered. Maybe it’s because the person got pregnant and had a child. In that case, you will take on a new form, especially your physique. Or maybe the person got into a terrible accident or was stricken with some type of illness. Then there are the people who say screw it and let themselves go. Almost like why bother trying to keep myself together. Well, I have a few reasons why they are unrecognizable; and I have already touched on a few.

When you are young, especially in high school, you care more about what other people think. You’re active, which means you have not got into a rut. You are not fed up with the world because you have not stepped into the world. Yet the moment you leave high school, you take on your own mindset. You begin to hang around different people and your life begins to move around. Yes, granted in the four years preceding high school, you still are to an extent stuck into the mind-frame of high school. But as you come through those years, you start to notice people becoming someone you can’t familiarize yourself with anymore. From the way they talk to how their bodies take form. Then college end and you really start to not notice the person you once knew. And like I said before, physically they become unrecognizable. And what happens that causes this physical reaction?

Children. that’s right children. I know people who have already had children, so keeping yourself together becomes not as important once you become a parent. Unless you have a certain means of finances, it becomes quite difficult to care for yourself. You’re feeding the children, chasing the children, making sure the children stay out of trouble. So days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, and slowly but surely, they give up. Now, to play devil’s advocate if I may, I don’t think people just give up. I don’t think people want to work as hard as we have to in the first place. It’s just that we use so much of our outer to attract others to us, then we become what we really want to be eventually. Keeping yourself looking a certain way is work that does not pay. And it has already been a job since high school. So you figure why bother now.

See, in the end, we would all like to stay looking young and fresh. But it’s such a tough time trying to keep ourselves. Me, I have not gained much weight since high school. I have not had a rough life since high school; sure I work harder, but physically, I’m still me. I guess it’s tough once you become an adult with a full time job. You’re doing this and doing that, running here and there; you sort of lose sight of physical aspects of life like your own appearance. And then you fall into this world-wind of who cares.


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THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING: WHY YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU

Image result for your life

“Your life: whatever comes of it is up to you.”


You want  something in life, you go for it. No one is going to give it to you and won’t care if you ever have it. So it’s your job to go into the world and make your own luck. Now, I could sit here and go through all the stories of how some people have it hard. Yet when it’s all said and done, everyone has something on their plate. And the world is just not interested in caring about whatever it is you’re going through in life. So where does that leave people who don’t have direction? It leaves them with their hands in the air. Because as an adult, you have to figure your life out.

Hey, easier said than done right? Well, in so many cases it’s actually wrong. I am in my late 20’s; actually I should just say thirty years of age by now. And I watch people my age go to the clubs and enjoy their lives. Yet I sit inside of a computer lab, typing away. Trying to come up with my next blog topic, my next screenplay idea, my next book, or my next anything that will make me a better writer. Meanwhile, so many guys my age do nothing. I don’t understand it, I just don’t. To me, my life is not moving as fast as I thought it would. So, in the moment, I feel like I am being just as unproductive as them. My life could turn out to be a dud just like the guy who sits around and does nothing.

And what’s scary, is that I could never achieve anything remotely close to the success I want in life. But that’s just life; there is no guarantee of making a living in society. I could put my life into my work and fail. But so many can’t stomach the idea of putting their all into something and it not pan out. They expect something to happen. They might ask, “How much time should I dedicate to doing this or that?” Or they’ll say, “So if I do everything you just said will it make me successful?” And real answer is, who knows. You have no clue what might transpire, but that’s actually what’s good about this roller coaster ride we call life. You might not even try that hard and win, or work your ass off and lose. There is no guarantee and no one owes you anything.

Because in the end, your life is whatever you make it. No one has to make things happen for you, that’s your job. Yes, there may be people who give you an opportunity along the way, but it’s not owed to you. You take it for what it’s worth and keep going. Because win or lose, your success in life will ultimately come down to how much you have prepared. And for those that haven’t prepared, it will show in their lives.


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LOSE OF INNOCENCE: HOW ADULTHOOD ROBS YOU OF YOU

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“You lose and lose and lose; then maybe you win.”


When you’re young, everyone tells you about how adulthood will pan out, Yet it does not quite amount to the struggle when you do become and adult. You’re told you have to work to become the person you want to be. But when you’re actually working to be that person, then you see it first hand. And you start to ask questions you never thought you would find yourself asking. Questions like, “Are humans really built to work like this everyday?” “I want a one dollar McChicken from McDonald’s; you mean to tell me I need a full-time job for a one dollar sandwich?” And with all the questions you ask, hopefully you’re able to come out on top. Yet so many don’t come out on top.

So inevitably, what is lost from your climb to success. In my opinion, when all you’re doing is working, then a bit of innocence is lost. You lose some humanity, as well as you becoming a little less empathetic person. You go from caring about the loved ones around you to what’s in it for me. And that’s when even more of you is lost. But why are we like this? Well, it’s because of how man constructed society.  Humans evolved to live on this planet, but not to necessarily work all the time. But we also needed to construct the world to keep everything in order also. So part of that keeping order was building economies. And as a driver in these economies, jobs and a marketplace of buyers and sellers.

So now, society is situated around attaining a living. Yet we are not happy creatures; more stressed than anything. But we continue on because there is this held belief that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We wake up every morning giving thanks for another day on Earth. But how content are we really? Maybe this is the reason we cling on to other aspects of society, like religion or having social lives. Or even maintaining monogamous relationships. It gives a real human existence outside the hustle of our work lives. Because a vast majority of our lives is predicated on what we do for a living. So it’s tough when we don’t have anything going on outside of work.

In the end, the older we get, the more we lose ourselves. And when I say ourselves, I don’t mean our self-respect. I mean this small amount of humanity that we lose. I think this is why we sometimes place ourselves around charities. We give back because it gives us what we lose through so much struggle in life.


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SO SO CONCERNED: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO VESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES

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“Worrying about you is your only full-time job.”


In today’s society, the use of social media has put everyone in everyone else’s business. But why, why have we become so interested in what other people are doing. Why have we become so enamored with how others are living their lives? Part of it has to do with the nothing going on in our own lives and other aspects of it has to do with loving to get others in trouble. And that’s an interesting account of us; the getting each other in trouble. Because no matter if it’s a public figure or the average Joe. We love to catch people doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Where is all this coming from?

Well, when looking at it from the context of nothing going on in your life, that’s key. When you have goals and aspirations of your own, it’s virtually impossible to concern yourself with others. But when nothing much is going on in your own life, you have nothing but time. Because in today’s society working a 40 hour work week has become 30 – 35 hours per week. So now we have more free time than prior years. So what are you doing with that time? Are you utilizing that time to pursue anything? If not, what is your purpose in life? Just waking up to exist to the next day and then the next day is not a way to live. But for the people who have nothing but time, this is how they live their lives.

Which leads into my next reason as to why people are so concerned. They see that someone else’s life is much more interesting than their own. Because if you’re constantly working on something, your life is appealing to those that aren’t doing much of anything. For example, I am working toward a career as a filmmaker, author, and blogger. People look at that and feel your life is quite interesting. To you, it is a struggle, but to them it’s something to talk about. No matter how positive or even negative, it’s something to discuss. But a lot of times today, it’s not positive feedback, but the negative. So much negativity is leant out to those who are in what people who perceive as a better position.

An example would be the Kardashian-Jenner sisters. So many people have so much to say about them. Yet their lives are progressing forward and the people who hate their lives don’t change at all. You’re concerning yourself with sisters whose lives are in a position far beyond yourself. You should be working at trying to remove yourself from your bad situation. But they for some reason cannot see past what someone else has in life. What’s interesting is that the same energy placed on worrying about others should be put into your own life. Because that same energy is what that person you’re worried about is putting into their work. But you can’t make the people who hate see that for themselves.

In the end, we have become a society of voyeurs. This voyeuristic behavior has cost people jobs and relationships. Now, I don’t see it slowing down, especially with the increase in social media usage. But eventually, so many people will be snooping that finding out something about another person will be irrelevant. Worrying about other people will always render the same outcome. And that outcome will be people wasting their lives concerned with others. But if your life is heading in the right direction, you have no time to concern yourself with what others are doing.


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