GOING TO A DARK PLACE: WHEN THE PAIN STARTS TO TAKE A TURN FOR THE WORSE

adult, african american man, angry

“Rage from racism.”


a transfer of hurt

What happens when you come from a group of people that have dealt with such trauma now you’re in that nasty head space. Whenever I look into the eyes of some of my people, I can’t help but to see the flying debris in their eyes. It scares me to know that deep down inside, some of us have transitioned into that space of hate. And not just the I wish something bad would happen to you space. But the space of I want anyone who even looks like the person who hurt to feel the same level of pain I feel.

deep and dark

“I wish this person would feel________.” And that is the point at which we have lost that sense of humanity. And where does it come from? I have gone into a dark place a few times after watching videos of police shootings. Not even knowing the circumstance of the case, you instantly think of the worse things imaginable. Everything from the person being fired to someone harming their children. And then after that feel there is subsiding feeling soon after. That’s when you’ve hit the deep end. Once you now feel satisfied with others who have no attachment being hurt, you are in that dark space. And how does it creep into the mind? Why does it last for so long? What is with that creepy satisfaction?

psychology of hurt

I am driving in a car, and a cop pulls me over. I am slammed on the hood and people without knowing what happened says good job. Then I say to myself, fine if that’s what it’s about maybe I should dole it out someone anyone. Trying to go into the psychology of people angry or hurt especially in racial situations is tough. Not just because of the history behind it, but that fact that we are not as honest as we make ourselves out to be. We are not a gut out of mouth society, so we can’t fully get to just of a real feeling behind emotion. But where in the brain do we instantly go to a place of rage in these situations. It comes from held in anger and then released at certain moments.


My Personal Website: www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

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Author: faheemjackson44

I am from Racine, Wisconsin where I was raised until I graduated high school back in the year 2006. That entire time growing up in my mother's house, I was a student athlete. My goal was to embark on a general business career or athletics. But injuries through sports stopped a sports path, so I decided upon business with a focus in marketing. While attending undergraduate school at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, I began to write screenplays in my senior year. At first it was for fun, but I quickly learned writing allow me to transfer negative energy into characters I created. This led to a decrease in depressing mood swings, which in turn boosted my quality of life. After undergraduate school in May of 2011, I move to New York City for graduate school. While pursuing my MBA, I continued to write screenplays, but always wanted to write novels as well. I finished graduate school back in the year 2014, but wrote screenplays until I began thinking of my first short film, first First Day Fears. While finishing my fifth feature length screenplay, I started to write my first novel this year. So far, I have finished my first short film and working on my next one (Freedomless Speech), and recently self published my first novel (The Boy Who Could Talk To God) and short stories book (Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Volume 1). My feature length screenplays have been put on temporary hold to finish my short films and books, but I am making good progress on my sixth feature length screenplay. With year 2017 ending, I am currently writing my novel Precinct 86 and Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Vol. 2. I have started teaching myself photography and will pursuing that by summer of 2018, along with my videography, podcast later on, and more research for my documentary.

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