GOING TO A DARK PLACE: WHEN THE PAIN STARTS TO TAKE A TURN FOR THE WORSE

adult, african american man, angry

“Rage from racism.”


a transfer of hurt

What happens when you come from a group of people that have dealt with such trauma now you’re in that nasty head space. Whenever I look into the eyes of some of my people, I can’t help but to see the flying debris in their eyes. It scares me to know that deep down inside, some of us have transitioned into that space of hate. And not just the I wish something bad would happen to you space. But the space of I want anyone who even looks like the person who hurt to feel the same level of pain I feel.

deep and dark

“I wish this person would feel________.” And that is the point at which we have lost that sense of humanity. And where does it come from? I have gone into a dark place a few times after watching videos of police shootings. Not even knowing the circumstance of the case, you instantly think of the worse things imaginable. Everything from the person being fired to someone harming their children. And then after that feel there is subsiding feeling soon after. That’s when you’ve hit the deep end. Once you now feel satisfied with others who have no attachment being hurt, you are in that dark space. And how does it creep into the mind? Why does it last for so long? What is with that creepy satisfaction?

psychology of hurt

I am driving in a car, and a cop pulls me over. I am slammed on the hood and people without knowing what happened says good job. Then I say to myself, fine if that’s what it’s about maybe I should dole it out someone anyone. Trying to go into the psychology of people angry or hurt especially in racial situations is tough. Not just because of the history behind it, but that fact that we are not as honest as we make ourselves out to be. We are not a gut out of mouth society, so we can’t fully get to just of a real feeling behind emotion. But where in the brain do we instantly go to a place of rage in these situations. It comes from held in anger and then released at certain moments.


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TURNING THE TIDES: WHY BLACK AMERICA HAVE NEVER TURNED AGAINST THE US LIKE RADICALS FROM OVERSEAS

Group of Women and Men Standing on Gray and White Concrete Floor

“Not as angry as some may think.”


we have never

In the time since Black people have been in America, those who know best have had understand and were able to bare witness to some scary history. From slavery through the century of Jim Crow, and after throughout America with isolated incidents. But through everything, there has never been a violent response like that of someone from overseas. And what I mean is that you have never seen a response like a 9/11 from the Black community. So why are the men and women in the Middle East so turned up? Because what America has done to them is nothing compared to our relationship. And yet, people outside the country get more enraged.

simpler than you think

The main reason we have never struck America in terrorist fashion is because like a lot of Americans, most people in the Black community want to work and go home. It’s not on the mind of the community on a daily basis as to how to make America pay on a terrorism level. The daily thinking that must be conducted takes away from a normal functioning existence. Because for example, run this experiment. Get as mad as you possible can, doesn’t even matter about what. Make up a scenario in your head, then ponder over it for the never few hours. You’ll wish you have never gotten mad once the experiment is over. It’s because to get mad and stay mad is a very large undertaking. So to commit to an act of terrorism, you’re pass the point of existing. And now you have hit the uncharted territory of extreme mental illness.

the thought has crossed the mind

The anger is there, the rage is there, but the action is not. Trust and believe, even our civil rights leaders have wanted to take it to another level. Especially during their time period, the system aligned itself with the struggle. So fighting the system isn’t going to work through violence because the government has a bigger weapon than the citizens. So having to resort to the nonviolent approach has been a decision we were forced to make. And as a human, we all have a limit, but when forced to keep that emotion bottled and redirected is tougher. But self-preservation kicks in and people tend to not react out of emotion. Because the whole goal of Black people for a long period of time is to survive the encounter.

change in times

Even with the rough history, things have gotten better throughout time. Is the life perfect, far from it. But the Declaration of Independence states, “In an effort to create more perfect union.” Key phrase, “a more perfect union.” All that simply means is better than the prior. And with each passing decade as long as the current is better than the prior, then we as a country are doing better.


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RECONCILIATION: WILL THE BLACK AND WHITE COMMUNITIES EVER END THE TENSION

Photo of Four Persons Uniting Hands

“Ease the tension.”


a history of tension

In the United States over the past few centuries the tensions between the White and Black population has gotten better, but still remain a focal point of discussion in America. And now with the introduction of other groups into the mix like the Hispanic and Middle Eastern community, the dynamics just became more complicated. But over the recent years, there has been a sharp increase in the number of racially motivated problems across the country. Yet the racial relationship between Black and White is the deepest. So how does it end? Will it ever end? Are these one of those things that just go on and on forever, just taking on different dynamics?

steps forward

We like to think that the problems are so far behind us, but they are still relevant. So what are the ways that can change people’s mind-frames on race relations? And the biggest reason why there is a sharp incline is economics. When the chips are down and the stakes high, people start to look for indicators of their economic strife. And no one likes to think that it’s themselves. So we look at our current surrounding and people that look like us, then at others that look different from us. If there is enough people who look different from us with more than we have, that is an easy target for what my problems could be linked to.

Another step in seeing the problem through is for people to actually be honest and say they harbor feelings if ill will toward others different from themselves. No one likes to think of themselves as being racist, but will openly do things that are racist. And will rationalize why it’s not racism.

a future perspective

Let’s say 1,000 years from now, when we look back in history and observe America as a nation. Will we think to ourselves, wow, people actually fought about color. It will seem so primitive. Who knows, America might not even be a country at that point. What’s interesting is that we will have video footage of today, and even the past. Which will took even more odd to a future generation. But my thing about us today is that do we even care. I don’t think people in their daily lives think about how our future descendants will perceive us. Because 1,000 years from now is so insignificant to people’s current problems.


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RACIAL DISCOMFORT: WHY BLACK AND WHITE PEOPLE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN EACH OTHER’S SPACES

Two Men Talking While Sitting Beside Table

“Still discomfort after a few hundred years.”


so so uncomfortable

Black and White, the two constructs that have kept America in social strife for the past few hundred years. And still to this day there is this discomfort within both communities. But when you look at the time-frame you can’t help but feel more discomfort at how long it’s been going on. And what is the real discomfort because for two groups to be sharing a nation and living so close, you would think by now these conversations would be an after-thought. Well, let’s also put into perspective the Civil Rights Movement was only 50 years ago. So even though we have been in this country a few hundred years, the first 80%-90% were treacherous times.

so so different

When you observe the cultural differences between the two communities there are so many differences, but even similarities. Yet, we behave is such a discomforting manner when we are in each other’s “arena.” And when I say that arena, I mean someone Black walk into a predominantly White establishments or vice verse, we immediately become aware. And from that point forward, we are not ourselves. We shift our behavior to appease wherever we are in the moment. Now, a lot of people would say that’s normal considering we always act different when around culture not our own. But these are not actions of curiosity, but more so actions of fear. Actions where one knows they are behind enemy lines rather than knowing you’re in a different than your own.

connection to life

We are both humans, as with any other group of people. Carbon based life forms that took hundreds of thousands of years to evolve into our selves today. And our relationship with each other is a reaction to our experiences with other. The culture we both have that has been created and cultivated is an American culture that was created in both our communities from direct relationships with country (ex. Black people music, food, and clothing style). And the reality is that we share a lot more than we are different. Both want our children to live in safe neighborhoods, fight for education, want employment to sustain ourselves, yearn for companionship so we don’t have to live alone, and considering we’re Americans, we share our love of sports and food.


My Personal Website: www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com

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