Have you ever seen or met him? Have you ever seen his face? You know, him up there. He who sits up high and looks down low. The one who is always watching us, protecting over us. The one who makes sure we’re safe and secure in our humble abodes. The one who sheds blood for us. He who died for us, so that we could see another day. If not for him shedding this blood where would I be today? All of this is the reason why I make sure to thank him for all he has done for me. When no one believed in me you were there to believe in me. When no one cared for me, it was you who stood by me. And for this Jesus I love you.

From the moment he came into my life, there was never a dull moment in my life. He was first born to a virgin mother, who was unable to secure a birthing space. She gave birth to him in a cave; and in this cave is where he received his name. Little did I know through all the troubles in his life, he would eventually make his way to me. From that humble birth, to eating at the table with his faithful followers. From being looked at with reverence by anyone who crossed his path, to shedding blood before he died.

He lived, and because he lived I can appreciate all that I have been given in life. I can make it through today and tomorrow because of him. I can see him, wrapped in that cloth, being carried to his resting place. Thinking to myself wow, I can feel his presence. I can feel his spirit ascend into the air. Can you feel it? Do you know what it’s like to feel the spirit of Jesus? I close my eyes, and I can see his face. See his hands, with those two nail incisions through his wrist from which he was impaled. His disheveled hair, a sign of the stress he underwent before his death. The drained look in his face, a sign of his anguish.

Then I open my eyes, and tears begin to form. I think to myself, what pain he went through. The pain, what pain, such harsh and cruel pain. I could have never done it. He was so strong, so much stronger than myself. The way he was here one day, and gone tomorrow. It is so much I want to share with you, but yet there is no verbal feedback. I guess I’m not trying hard enough because I should be able to hear him. Wait a minute, listen closely, I hear him now. His voice is so soft, but yet still powerful. His presence is humble, yet regale in nature as well. Yes regale, that’s a good word to describe him, regale. It makes a lot of sense because he was the king.

That’s confusing because a king usually has a queen. What is a king without a queen? I never knew Jesus to have a queen. He should have had a queen; why such a great king with no queen. A queen should be your better half, but Jesus did have a better side. But I feel Jesus’s presence, how come I don’t feel his better half? Is it because his better half must be something higher than my abilities. Something that only comes with maturity and time? Something that is so high that it may never be attained? Or is Jesus’s better half in front of my face and I am just not looking hard enough?

I want to go back to the time aspect of his better half. Time scares a lot of people. But Jesus has all the time in the world. No amount of time can inhibit his potential. He is the only one who knows the time and the date of the end. No man has a better understanding of time than he. No man has as much time in this world than he. How can I attain that knowledge of time? Is it at all possible to reach such a plateau in life? My best guess is no; no one can achieve such heights. Because if such a human were able to reach this height, this understanding of time; he would replace Jesus. And that is not something I am willing to accept. Maybe as time go on, I will be more open to accepting this; or maybe not.

Excuse me for rambling on, but I want you to know. I want you all to know because he touched so many people. You all need to know how he fought. You all need to know how died. What good is it for one to live on earth and never come know him? Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty before him and many will come after; but none will touch me as much as he. None will wake me up in the morning with such a joyous feeling that can only be compared to the birth of a child. Many may guarantee me monetary wealth, but only he gave me the internal wealth I need which will make me feel true wealth. Wealth greater than the richest CEO, wealth greater than any lottery win, greater than any trust fund left by a well to do family member.

The wealth that Jesus has brought me can only be described as something everlasting. Something that can’t be stripped away from me. It is because of this immense wealth I love him so much. Love; love is a word that I have not yet used. It almost seems redundant to speak of love because so far, everything I have spoken of described love. But let me tell you in detail my love for Jesus. It’s the feeling you get, not like falling in love, but the feeling of pure satisfaction, but not infatuation. It’s the feeling of gratitude, respect, devotion, and esteem. There are days I cry because his love is so strong. But, these are not tears of hurt or pain, they are tears of joy.

You’re probably wondering why Jesus has played such an important part in my life. Well because he wasn’t just there for me, he save me. He saved me because it could have been me. It could have been me who landed on those nails; it could have been my blood, yet is wasn’t. It was the blood of Jesus that was impaled with those nails. Jesus, I feel so helpless for not being able to help you. I wanted to help you, but there was nothing I could do. So as I look up toward Jesus, I say to him will you forgive me. Will you forgive me, and not judge my coward behavior?
I can only hope that he will find it in his heart to do so. So I look up high on my shelf at this urn. The urn which holds the remains of the one whose blood was shed on that nailbed to keep me from shedding blood. I say to you Jesus, my beautiful, my brave, my loyal, and my honorable tabby cat; thank you. Thank you Jesus, I would have rather it have been my foot than your life. But you stepped in front, you gave your life so they I could go on. In time, I’ll learn to move on, but never forget. And as I make my journey through life, hopefully we’ll see each other again Jesus. You were more than a tabby cat, you were a friend, family, and the one I love. And for this I am deeply greatful. May you rest in peace, until we meet again.



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