VULNERABILITY: HOW IT’S HARD FOR US TO BE HONEST WITH US ABOUT OURSELVES

Low Section of Man Against Sky

“I can, can you you say the same?”


When I first started writing, it was back in 2011 at an attempt to write my first screenplay. But since then I have realized something with my writing. It has made me realize how transparent I have become because of what I write. In order to be good as a literary, you have to be as honest as possible, and why not start with yourself. I have come to terms with what is screwed-up about myself, and I am bent on changing that thing or things. Not only have I come to terms, but I am also in a mental space where I can talk about those issues and share them with the world. So my question to you all is, how come people have a hard time putting themselves out for others to see the real them. Where does that internal feeling come from that make us go into a shell when put in stressful situations.

One of the main reasons we hide is because of shame. We might have something in our personal lives that is far from the norm of society, but we can’t talk about it. So we hold it inside hoping that no one is able to see that internal thing that is us. And when put into positions where we are forced to explain ourselves, it becomes even more difficult to converse. These socially awkward moments are because man constructed society to give us even today a template for what’s socially acceptable. And anyone that deviants from that norm is seen as having a problem. I have things that I like that deviant from the norm, but unlike those who hide from it, I am able to converse about the things I like. But besides the shame, what are other reasons that people can’t be open with who they are in society.

Another reason is that we want to stand out front and be unique, but then when put in a real unique situation we run. It’s because what makes us unique that is hidden deep within us is not a unique quality that others can grasp and understand. Meaning, your unique quality might be mathematics, but how you become so good at it is because you see the numbers in front of you. Sometimes to the point that the numbers seem to float in the air. It sounds like you’re in serious need of a psychiatrist, but it’s real. Some people’s minds are made up a certain way that discerns information a hell of a lot different than the rest of us. They can understand and wrap their minds around problems in the strangest ways that the rest of us cannot. And ultimately, what will you learn by opening yourself up.

In the end, it’s like Marianne Williamson’s famous Our Deepest Fear passage from her best selling novel, A Return to Love. “When we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give others permission to do the same.” “When we are liberated from our fears, we automatically liberate others.” Don’t worry about the immediate nay sayers because it’s about the bigger picture. You’ll open yourself and masses who feel the same as you, or make people want to do what you do the more you open up. And that’s when you make the immediate connection of bringing people close who see you as a guide to a more prosperous life that they should be living.


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PARENTLESS BOND: WHY MEN’S ATTACHMENT WITH KIDS ISN’T THE SAME AS WOMEN

belly button, birth, family

“Her bond is different than our bond.”


When a woman is pregnant, there is a bond she creates with her child that no man is able to understand. The following link is of a video of a woman right after giving birth with her child exemplifying that bond between mother and child. (https://www.facebook.com/viralthread/videos/1317955175012988/) And I have always wondered, why don’t men have the same bond with the kid that the mother has. It’s because of human nature. But then I also began to think a little deeper as it pertains to fatherhood. And I have asked myself a question. When observing the human species as a mammal, were men meant to be in the lives of children? Was that evolution’s goal was to create an attachment? Or is being a father a human construct?

Because as a man, we have to build a relationship with that kid. Moms immediately have that bond because the baby grows inside of her. So the bond is more pure than with a man. That’s why when a woman leaves her child, it can be more hurtful than the father. But once again, does nature create these boundaries or do people have a hand in how we have relationships with children. In my opinion, I think it’s a little bit of both. We are very much dictated by social norms, yet nature is still there lingering. So what does this all mean regarding who we are as a species. And to narrow it down, I mean as men. Will there ever come a time where we will have that same connection?

And yes, I know as time goes on, children recognize us and we eventually become dad. But why does this exist. Because our biological attachment happens in the very very beginning. So by the time the human is fully created, we have no real attachment except for the creation of that human. But, I will say, there is something quite emotional once that kid arrives. There is a level of attachment that father has for that kid. The kid does not quite understand it, but the parent understands the importance of the parental-kid relationship. And that has a lot to do with our conscious as people.

And in the end, our consciousness gives us the ability to make sound decisions. And that decision is being there for your child. Other creatures in the wild generally let there children go at a far younger age than humans. But with the conscious we are given we stick around and raise them until we feel they have reached an appropriate age to leave the house. And without that, humanity most likely would not have lasted as long as we have lasted. Hopefully as time progress, we’ll find out more about ourselves.


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MAKING YOUR OWN LUCK: HOW YOU CAN TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

cards, chance, deck

“You might have been dealt a bad hand; use in to your advantage.”


Some great advice for life, is that no matter what your economic, social, academic, ethnic, gender background, you can overcome a bad situation, At times we feel like all hope is lost for the future. But little do we know that we may be in a better position than we realize. Like me for example, I grew up below the poverty level in the United States. But does that mean I have to always be in that position in my life. You can tailor make life to move yourself out of your current situation. Problem is that most people have a hard time moving themselves out of their bad positions.

See, in earlier posts I talked about putting yourself in the know. And most people say, “What is the know?” “The know of what?” I say, “Whatever it is you’re attaining to have in this world.” So many people want something out of life, such as a paycheck. Yet they don’t quite understand what it is they have to do to get there. They’ll say,” I need a good paying job that makes good money.” That sentence has no clear meaning to it. You have to know what career interest, what title, what pay range, and what time it could potentially take to get there. And this requires having a certain level of self-awareness. Lacking an understanding of self will make it hard to navigate the know. Because you don’t know what you’re good at, if anything at all.

So what do you have to do, you have to test out different things in life. For me, I tried multiple things before I realized I wanted to be a writer. I said to myself, “Faheem, you’re going to be a doctor.” Then I realized I don’t have the patience to deal with patients. So next I said, “You’re going to be an attorney.” And envisioned myself in a court room standing before the judge and jury. Then I realized I could never get a guilty person off or send an innocent person to jail. My big break came when I said that I would go into the business field, which is broad. And it wasn’t until I went for my MBA I realized I wanted to be a writer. Initially it was not knowing what I was doing, if ever I would be successful, but I knew I loved it.

The more I wrote, the more I became comfortable with talking about myself. And I don’t mean being into myself. I mean debriefing information, and being more transparent than before in life. So what did I do, I realized I had something, and could make it into a career. So since the year 2013, I have been writing screenplays, blogging, and my books. So what does all this have to do with making my own luck? I am putting myself in the know by researching, and continuing to learn to write. Making those moves to understand the career for you and knowing what you’re good at it. And also knowing when to make appropriate adjustments to the things you write. Because you’re not going to know everything, especially in the initial stage, yet you have to develop a feel for when things are going right or wrong.

See, in the end, you can make your own luck. You just have to be willing to put yourself in a certain mind frame. And with that mind frame, you start to understand and develop a sense of self. Once you know yourself, you can pursue your career endeavor. This way, you’re being not vague about what it is you want. Sadly enough, a lot of people will never find what they’re good at in life.


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AGE OF DEPRESSION: HOW THE MORE WE UNDERSTAND SELF THE MORE UNHAPPY WE BECOME

black-and-white, depressed, depression

“In an era of technology, we are more connected, yet very much detached.”


In a world where we are more connected than anytime before, you would think it would make us happier. Yet it has not only made us happier, but the more we learn and understand ourselves the more depressed we become. And I don’t mean know ourselves like knowing me as an adult. I mean knowing us is it pertains to our existence on Earth. You would think with the advent of technological innovation and scientific breakthroughs, we would have a much higher level of enlightenment that would make us happy. But what that heightened awareness has done is give us the complete opposite effect. But should we digress because of this unintended effect?

View of Tourist Resort Well, let’s first look at what makes us depressed in today’s society. There are many different reasons why people tend to be unhappy. For starters, you are able to see up close your reality. And what I mean by your reality, you can see where you stand financially, socially, academically in the world. For example, you can Google image luxury, and see a world that is beyond your world just by typing it into a search engine. When my mother was young, an opulent life existed, yet you didn’t quite know about it. Clear Wine Glasses in a RowPeople were either born into wealth, or it was something you stumbled upon. Not today, today, you can actually see how little you have relative to someone else. And what’s crazy, you might have a socioeconomic position that is supporting you and your family. Yet you can’t enjoy because you are comparing yourself to someone way above you.

Why do we do it? Why do we look to someone that is far beyond us? Well, at times, that person is our age. No matter your age today, there is someone that age doing something on a more monumental scale than yourself. When I was in college, I was broke coming out, yet guys my age were signing multi-million dollar contracts to play sports. Comparing yourself to them and not appreciating what you have, even when what you have is adequate to live, robs you of gratification Image result for comparison peopleand the ability to live a fulfilling life. Meaning, you might want to make $50,000 in a year, but someone tells you, you should want better. Now you can’t enjoy what life you could have had with what you wanted because you’re chasing something you may not even want just to satisfy other people’s perspective. And with our lives being inundated with so much imagery, we still have another aspect of our lives that make us unhappy: our own existence.

Coping with our existence is tough for so many. And I don’t mean existence in the context of waking and going to work everyday, coming home, and sleeping. I mean the fact that we are here, on Earth, living and breathing. The fact that I was not born a lion, tiger, bird, or a house cat, but a human is hard for many to cope with in life. The simple existence that is me, a carbon based life form that has Related imagetaken forever to evolve into what I am, is hard to accept. And a lot of it comes from increased scientific understanding of ourselves. Here is where religion may have aided us in living on this planet. With the idea that there is something greater once we die, it gives us hope. As time progress in society, more and more people are becoming awoken to our existence. So awake, we are unmotivated to do anything. So now we become depressed with the idea that this is all that is here for us.

You would think that feeling this way would give people a sense of urgency, yet it’s having the inverse effects. The closer we come to figuring out why we are on Earth, the more we become detached from living. Maybe not knowing, is what’s best at times. Because in the end, unlike any other species where nature dictates how they behave, we are given conscious. We are given the ability to say yes or say no. We are endowed with the ability to make sound decisions. And that very conscious that gives us that ability also makes us aware of our situations in life. Some people make the best out of it, and others can never cope. And for those that can’t cope, it leads to further depression; leading to substance abuse or even suicide.

“He who increases knowledge, increases sorrow on the land.”

                          -Ecclesiastes 1:18


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MY DAY JOB, YAWN: WHY DO PEOPLE LOOK FORWARD TO FRIDAY AND DREAD SUNDAY NIGHT

Rear View of Man Working in Office

“I wish I were anywhere else but here.”


5:30 am, the alarm blares, and you role out of bed. You go straight to the bathroom, and stare yourself in the mirror because you are about to start your day of work. But first, you have to get yourself clean; so you turn on the shower. Scrambling for a towel, you find one and hang it on the rack. bed, bedroom, breakfastYou’re still half asleep even with the illumination of the light. That’s until the hot water hit your body. And when you’re half sleep, you sometimes turn on the water too hot, or too cold. And that is a shock out of this world; either the feeling of being in an ice box, or immediate pain of scorching temperatures.

After your shower, and you get dressed, it’s time to leave the house. With one step outside, all you can think about is the end of the day. Isn’t that something, you’re not even off the premises of your house and already you feel disconnected from work. And arriving at work is no better because nowcommuter, commuting, late all you’re thinking about is the weekend. And that’s when it’s confirmed; you hate your day job. Because if come Monday you’re thinking of Friday, and Sunday night, you’re dreading Monday morning, your life is being wasted. But what else is there for people to do. If you’ve found your career of interest you love all seven days.

Now on the other hand, if you’re one of these people that hate what you do, everyday is a drag. Because the weekend is not even good enough. Saturdays are rest days, and Sunday is in preparation for Monday. So how do you have a life that you want? Or better yet, how do you find out what Man in White Shirt Using Macbook Proyou’re good at, to even pursue the life you want? So many people don’t even know what they’re good at to pursue. You hear so many people say I want a good paying job, but what’s a job. They always say they need a job they like, but what’s a job you like. Yet when you ask what’s a good job, they look at you like you’re supposed to know.

I would liken adults looking for better employment opportunities to a crying baby. The baby can’t communicate what is wrong, but is hurting for some reason. And they expect you to know, but they can’t communicate to you why they are hurting. Only problem with adults is that they can communicate what’s wrong. And what’s wrong is they don’t like what they Related imagedo for a living. They don’t know what they are good, don’t even know the job they want, but know they hate their current position. An impossible feat in my opinion regarding wanting something new. Why, well if you don’t have a skill or self-awareness, how do you move forward?

Knowing your skills, you can manipulate your life how you want it to pan out. But lacking skills is why people say they need new work, I hate my job, or I need a new job. And in the end, that’s the problem with so many people who hate what they do, and would like something else. They don’t have any skills, or they lack the necessary skills needed to have a better career. It’s almost like we all hold our breathe, hoping for something to come. And when nothing comes we ask why. It’s because you have to make your own luck in our society. Easier said than done.


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