VISIONARY: HOW YOU SEE LIFE SAYS A LOT ABOUT HOW FAR YOU MIGHT GO IN LIFE

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“Do you see life as a whole, or part of a whole?”


Since moving to New York City, I have consistently been motivated to become a working screenwriter/filmmaker and author. And how I see the world is why I feel ultimately I will succeed in my writing. So I view the world as a place that can only get better from where I was yesterday. So whatever I was doing last year is helping to set me up with what I am doing now, to succeed tomorrow. But what is it about some people who just don’t see the world in the most positive light? They only have something to say that is shrouded in hurt and pain. There is nothing they say that points to wanting a better life. Scary thing is that they would prefer you follow them and how they see the world. And God forbid you ignore their wishes and go off to become successful. They will come up with every reason as to why you were in a different position than themselves.

But truth be told, you don’t need to be born with money to propel yourself to the next level. Your mind frame says a lot about you; your vision of the world. The above photo is of a woman’s hands viewing the wide open landscape wit her hands creating a box. It’s something that directors do in movies to get the idea of something that is in frame that they want to convey in a film scene. But when they move their hands, they say action and role camera. Imagine walking around society looking through this box. That is how so many negative people see life because they refuse to move their hands to see the full landscape. Their boundaries are everything in the box and when you move outside the box, something must be wrong with you. How dare you operate outside the box.

Well, operating outside the box is the reason why the filmmaker was able to sit down and create the film. The in frame box gives you a more heightened sense of what is going in the movie scene. But in life there is so much more than the square your hands create. Now, can anyone drop their hands so they see the broad spectrum of life? Of course they can, but it requires giving up the way you currently think and feel. And no one wants to believe that their thought process is wrong. People want to believe that the reason for their lives going the way it’s going is forces, coincidentally enough, outside the box. But they don’t address what could be addressed because not addressing the truth head on allows them to be romanticized with their own bullshit. So they stay living in a trance, yet wonder why they go nowhere.

In the end, shifting your perception is what allows you to move forward in life. It’s like how people who live in poverty say that it’s easy to say when you have money. But it’s the mind that makes up the people moving into a more stable situation. If you are willing to put yourself in the know, you can have a lot. But the mind is not freely thinking enough because people cannot see past their current position.


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FATHERLESS: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BOYS DON’T GROW WITH THEIR FATHERS

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“You are his first guidance counselor.”


As a young boy who grew up in a single parent home without my father, I can tell you first hand what boys miss when they don;t have a man around. Luckily for me, I was able to not only look to my mother, but there were enough men around I could look to, to gauge what it means to be a man. Now that I am 30 years of age, my father and I speak now. This is tough for many considering they have so many grudges they hold for the other parent. As for me, I have learned not mainly the art of forgiveness, but an aspect of life has set in; which is no one cares. The world at large could care less about you not having your father in your life. Because when its all said and done, the world will judge you based on you, not your parent.

Sounds like a hard pill to swallow because you lose so much with that other half not in your life. And what are some of the key aspects of life you miss out on.

RESPONSIBILITY

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You might be thinking to yourself, your mother can raise you to be responsible. But living in society there are different expectations for men and for women. Even as we start to take on relationships, the expectations of men become different. Funny that your mother never sit down and talk to you about the real standards that women have in life. But instead, mothers don’t want to throw too much at you, almost like she wants to protect you more than see you afraid to step out into the world. But a man afraid to step out into the world, is a man headed down an unsuccessful path. You can’t become successful if all you’re doing is second guessing the entire time. And women themselves will learn to not be able to trust you and depend upon you as well. Nothing you say will be taken seriously because there is not that strong male foundation. Mothers are more apt to give their sons a little more leeway than the father. The father is more authoritative when dealing with their sons, while mom tends to be more emotional. And the problem with mom emotions directed toward her son. He grows and starts to take on these attributes. Which is seen as normal for women, but we appear to be weak and unwilling to take action when action is needed. We’re more likely to be sons and friends to women in our lives than boyfriends and husbands.

DISCIPLINE

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Here is the part of life where fathers teach their sons about how to be patient. Here is where young boys get that first hand lesson in good things coming to those who wait, when the one is waiting is focused and poised. Usually boys are quite jittery, but fathers are the ones who whip them into shape. “Boy sit down,” or “Didn’t I tell you to be still?” You’re given these hard directions, that at times come from mom, but they scream louder from dad. And why do we listen to dad’s discipline more than mom’s discipline. It has nothing to do with our love for him more. It has everything to do with the idea that we know and understand, even at a young age the strong staff that dad carries. And that internal feel of dad means business leads into the next thing boys miss out on.

SELF-IDENTIFICATION

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The previous paragraph that explains the understanding we have as men when we are in each other’s presence. That feeling that women don’t have when we as men come cross paths with each other. And you look into the eyes of another man and realize in that moment when he is serious, when he is not who he says he is, and when he is burying something internally. And part of knowing who we are is by way of knowing yourself as well. A lot of boys growing up coming into manhood have a hard time communicating with other men without getting emotional because they lack self-identification. Then they finds themselves in trouble because they are not consciously aware. Not having any man who is truly unaware because he was not taught awareness, is not only a problem and detriment to himself but society. And if you look at the statistics, boys who are more prone to commit crimes and wind up in prison usually didn’t have their fathers to teach them men don’t do this or do that in life. So the boy grows full blown from whatever imaginations is there that is not cultivated by the man in his life.

In the end, boys tend to miss out on a lot by not having their fathers or some man around that they can look to in how to be a man. Like I said earlier, in my life, I could look to someone that was an image of manhood. Some boys in the community turned to gangs as a way to link up with men who served as guidance in their lives. And even though mom plays an intricate role in your life, their is so much you lose that have to learn on the fly by not having a father.


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YOUR VISION NOT ANYONE ELSE’S: WHY THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU

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“Don’t expect them to believe in you.”


Someone I work with today was informing me that they have had enough and it was time to pursue their purpose. They were about the quite work and embark on their journey to their own personal greatness. It struck me as odd because this was a person who worked a lot, but now they were quitting. But I am embarking on my own journey, and I don’t know what road it will take me down. And that’s when it hit me, I don’t know this person’s inner workings. Maybe they feel that they have it figured out and things are finally making sense inside of their heads. The pieces are starting to come together and everything is working out for the best. But what is it about the people who don’t see your vision? They can not see you past what you are in the moment, and it takes them longer. Sometimes they never turn around, and only live to see you falter.

The reason being is that they may now have passions of their own, or they might not want to see you above them. If you are working a dead-end job and someone is above you, why would they want to see you prevail in life. They might hate their job just as much as you hate yours, but at least they have the upper hand over you. What happens when you overshoot the runaway of what they expected. Your airplane was never supposed to have made it out of the gate. But you have managed to fly off the runway and into the sky. So much so that you are cruising at altitude while they are still at the terminal watching you soar in the air. And that is when it sinks into their head that they must try to say something, anything to get you to stop working.

Because if they give you the confidence to keep pushing, then what is there out here for them. And that’s when you learn that there are people who look at life in the scope of their failures is your success. If you doing so much and they are not where you are, then what does that say about them. So they have to bring you down a few pegs. But if your life is in so much of a wrecked place, do something about it. Don’t try to bring someone else down because you have not landed on your feet. You are not where you thought you would be by now, so in an attempt to not feel alone, you want to keep them where you are in life. This also falls into the whole crabs in a barrel mentality. You are fine by me, so long as we all are stuck in this one place together. And that’s when you have to make moves to separate yourself.

Because in the end, your personal growth is your growth. It’s not up to you to help another adult figure out their stuff in life. You are responsible for your own problems. So as you pursue your dreams, don’t listen to the crowd noise. Your main goal should be to try to tape into the minds of those that love and respect your vision. You are going to always have adversaries, that’s the nature of the game. Just as long as you meet your expectations, that’s all that truly matters.


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MAKE THEM CATCH YOU: HOW COMPROMISING YOURSELF FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS IS NOT SMART

Athletes Running on Track and Field Oval in Grayscale Photography

“Catch up or be left in the dust.”


Ever been running a race and there is someone who you know is in the race with you. You guys both are trying to win yet encourage each other. But you have to also keep in mind that there are others in this race running with the both of you. So if you are in 3rd place and your friend is in 5th, you want that 5th place friend to catch up. But remember, there is 4th between you both, 6th, 7th, and 8th place in the back. And that’s when you start to care less about the position your friend is in, and more about trying to win the race yourself. Because your goal is not to worry about the place where your friend is sitting, but more so where you need to be. And where you need to be, is moving yourself in position for the 1st place win.

See, you can’t think about the person in 5th place that you know. They have to be bent on catching up to you, otherwise, you have to let them lose. And this topic is not about participating in sports. This topic is about trying to run your race in life. I was watching an interview that Hip Hop artist Snoop Dogg was apart of where he was discussing this same thing. He stated when he first entered the entertainment business, it was him and his friends. Then, as time progressed he stood tall and they never left their position. And the only way to be at their level was to come back down. And that’s when you start compromising your talents in this world. Which is a statement that I agree with wholeheartedly. You cannot make someone want to be something in life unless they are bent on going the distance themselves. Because you do more harm to them than help to them.

The way I see it, your 3rd place should make them motivated to run faster even if it’s only to finish strong 5th. Hey, and they might catch that 4th place person or even you. But if you drop back to help them, you’re now risking 4th catching you, and also 6th, 7th, and 8th. Now both of you guys are stuck in the back of the pack. And some people are comfortable in the back as long as there is someone there with them. Me, I am far from OK with being in the back of the pack. So in the end, the person who is running behind you have to have it in their mind to want to catch up in life. Because if you keep aiding them, they’ll never grow. They’ll always want you to carry them somewhere. Sometimes you just have to let them fail and keep moving.


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NOT QUITE THERE YET: ARE YOU NOT IN THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE

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“The long arduous path that is success.”


Have you ever had the feeling like you’re not in the place you want to be in life? Like you should be or thought you would be a lot farther by this point? Well, I am about to turn thirty years of age and I am working toward a career as a writer. While working toward this career, I am working two part-time jobs. And that sounds fine when you are a twenty years old, but not when you are thirty. Because when you are thirty, you are supposed to be a certain place by this time. You should be on your way to finding your first starter home and thinking about children, not writing. But I am pursuing a career I love, rather than a job I have to go to everyday.

So here I sit, in this moment writing. And to cope with the long road to writing success, I try to observe those that started around my age. And you see they had their first success at about mid to late thirties. Now I gave myself a ten year time period to break in as a successful writer of screenplays, playwright, and novels; with a little lightweight film/theatre directing. Now that I have gotten myself out of the way, what are you pursuing that your life isn’t where you thought it would be? We have all these visions when we are children of the things we will do as adults. But when we become adults, everything is up in the air once you are in the world on your own.

And everything is really up in the air if you have no clue what you want to do with your life. You typically spend all your time working, then coming home and existing. So the days turn into weeks, then weeks to months, and months to years. And before you know it, life has past them by, and they have not attempted at anything in life. And that is the scary feeling people have of not quite being there yet. They even see people their age making life decisions, going in the right direction. Yet they are still not there themselves. So they find any reason to avoid people they know out of shame. Why, well because we always compare ourselves to people that are around our age.

But what happens once people younger than yourself start making moves in life beyond you. That’s when you really start to feel uncomfortable. Seeing a new younger generation making moves that you feel you have not made yet. And what’s crazy, that young age group will feel the same once they reach my age. See, in the end, we don’t want to live with the failures. But we also don’t want to live with the idea of people saying I told you so. Trying at something and constantly failing at it over and over again. But I remember reading a quote by Thomas Edison which stated, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” But the real question is, how do you know when you’re close?


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LETTING GO: HARDSHIPS OF PUSHING CHILDREN INTO THE WORLD

Image result for PARENTS DROP OFF COLLEGE

“They’re not going to be young forever.”


When growing up, parents are very protective of their young. Understandably so because it’s your job to protect them. But at some point in time that parent has to let go and let their child have their own lives. And this is generally the hardest job that any parent has to do is let go. Eventually, that kid grows up, and goes into the world to start their own lives. They must have their own identity and embark on their own career endeavors. But why, why must parents really need to let go of their child/ children? Just saying they need their own lives is not good enough.

I heard Denzel Washington make a statement regarding having a hard time letting go of his son. His son was heading east to college from California. And he told an interesting story of why he had to let go. He was flying a private jet when the pilots had to drop some fuel from the plane to increase the altitude in flight. Denzel stated that is how he had to look at parenting like flying in that plane. If he didn’t release his son the he couldn’t have flown to the heights he wanted to fly. And that is a strong reason why parents have to let go. But so many parents have the hardest time letting go. Their children have been their lives for so long it becomes tough to let go.

But the moral of the story from Denzel is that how will your kids be prepared to take on the world if you keep them so close. They need to step out into the world. Try things, fail, and then work to come back and succeed. You can’t protect them forever otherwise they won’t grow. You’ll do nothing more but create an environment of codependency. And trust and believe, no one else is going to allow them to live off of them without stepping into the world. You stunt their development and actually make them fearful of walking into the world themselves. You have held on so long, they are terrified that maybe you held on because they can’t succeed without you.

Another reason why parents find it so hard to push children into the world is also because this may be the last child to leave the house. When having children, the first you get emotional and last you get emotional. Because the first is that oldest to come into the world. And the last kid is confirmation that no more children are in the house. So now you have to get used to making decisions based around you and your best interest. No more coming home and making sure everything is right on the home front. Get used to coming home and not hearing any noise, just silence.

And in the end, that is the toughest adjustment a parent must make in life. Getting used to adjusting to life with no one there unless you’re married. You now have to learn how to go back to life when there weren’t kids around. And that for a lot of people is hard to get used to. So parents find themselves contacting their children in college asking what are they doing. It may seem overbearing to the kid, but to the parent it is completely normal. Yet, the kid has to go off and carve out their own identity, their own plans, their own futures.


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NO POINT TO PROVE: HOW HAVING SOMETHING TO LOSE IS BASED ON SOMETHING TO LOSE

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“Don’t feel you have to prove yourself to nobody’s.”


Having something to lose is really important in our society. Not just in our society today, in the past and in the future. So why do so many people operate with this mindset of I have noting to lose? They operate this way because they don’t see themselves going anywhere in life. And when they don’t see nothing for themselves, they could care less about you. I was just watching an interview that Jay Z conducted where he was talking about coming into the music industry for the first time. He thought then superstar Notorious B.I.G. was scared not to walk into a nightclub. But it wasn’t fear, Biggie had something to lose at that time.

And that is hard for people at the bottom or just getting into a position of power don’t realize. Having something to lose, meaning not just money, but a bigger picture. B.I.G. had a bigger vision than Jay Z was able to see at the time. Now that Jay is where he is now he understands the bigger picture. And income along with socioeconomic have a lot do with having something to lose. Like I recently said, not just money alone, but money is a motivator. Yes, there are things that are bigger than money, yet monetary decisions are closely related to having something to lose. But who with money is effected by this losing or winning in society. In my opinion, athletes and entertainers are two groups of people that largely fall into this category. And a lot of times it’s public figures from poor backgrounds.

For example, the NFL draft just took place this past weekend and there were a lot of athletes from underprivileged backgrounds. They don’t understand how their lives are about to change soon as they sign that contract. And I am not saying just going places without being noticed. I mean the people you associate with in life. Everything you do is under a microscope. So if people are around you, they have to shift how they behave to be in your environment now. And the question is are they willing to do so? Are they willing to change themselves to help you persevere? Because with them around, now you become a babysitter. Whatever they do, you take the punishment for. For instance, NFL player Adam “Pacman” Jones friend shoots someone at a nightclub. Adam is nowhere around, but the fact the guy is with you is enough for you to get punished.

If you told some of these guys that they now are responsible for whatever the people around them do, they would have second thoughts about being athletes. And the reason for this change is because you are not just some guy running a football. You’re not some musician making beats and singing, or acting in a movie. You become a brand, a figure for young people to look up to, and an investment for people who sign you to a contract. Some people say, I’m still me, but you’re not you anymore. You have this light on you, where you can’t be you. You are expected to be more than just you. Your morals and ethics go out the door, and it is more about the organization you represent; their morals.

In the end, your life will shift with every level of increase in life. You have no other choice, because with the good comes the downside. There is no all good in life. And change is can be hard, but not all change is bad. Sometimes growth is needed and must take place to make you a better you.


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