OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE: LEARNING ABOUT OTHERS CULTURE

Woman Wearing Green Sari Dress

“Try something new.”


it’s all i know

As a young male growing up in Southeastern Wisconsin, there was not much diversity going on in the city. So when I moved to New York City, I will say it was quite overwhelming. Still sometimes the city can be a lot, but I am able to manage a lot more than in the beginning. But I have moved here and weathered the storm to stay. But this isn’t about living in a new city, it’s about getting out of your comfort zone so that you can learn more and succeed in the process. I for one am a person who has to always work on getting his own comfort zone to make things happen in my life. And because of that I find myself opening a window to so many opportunities.

knowing less is not an excuse

In New York City there are close to one hundred ethnic groups from around the world. And the reality is, is that you’re not going to know everything about everyone. But there are enough people within a certain to understand. Because it’s one thing for a city of 1,000,000 to have a group that makes up less than half of one percent of the population. Then there is another to know nothing about the city makeup of a group that constitutes 45% of the entire cities population. This means you are living in serious proximity of another group and to not have nothing to know about each other is mind boggling.

fear shouldn’t hold you back

Coming from a different background or from a different country and then visiting that location is scary. I work at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, and I see tourist from different parts of the world and there is something so brave about moving about a place you have never been. NYC is a scary place if you are just coming to America for the first time. But this is not everywhere in America. Most places are not this fast and big. I have my scary cultural hang-ups as well but they are dating. And I promised myself I would get out of that zone.


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FEAR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU MIGHT REALLY MIGHT HAVE A FAILURE TO LAUNCH

Success Text Write on Beach Shore

“What is to come of this all?”


making it big

We all think of making it big in our careers. But what happens when you are more afraid of getting success out of your career than actually failing? Because the failure is a guarantee in life. We are all going to fail in our ventures. But not everyone is going to be successful in what they set out to accomplish. And it’s because failing is so guaranteed that we are not truly afraid. Yet when you succeed you see what it has done to so many others in the same position. That crash of their success leaves us terrified to even pursue.

having it and losing it all

The phrase having and losing it is a lot more hurtful than never having it at all is a popular statement. Because we have an idea of what it means to be of means financially. But for the chosen few who have actually been in the position it hurts more to lose all of it. No one wants to work their entire lives just to lose everything they have ever worked for in life. Because now you have to live out your life knowing what it was truly like on the other side. And that hurts because for those on the other side, coming back to where you used to be is difficult. Because now you have to settle for something you hate versus what you love to do just to build back up.

too many people to please

You move from one place to the next and people say to you what’s next. Or worse they have their hands out ready for you to give them things. The majority of people have a hard time saying no to someone, especially when they are close friends and family. Now, eventually you have to get to that point otherwise you will slowly but surely turn into a parent. And it is not your job to raise other adults. Yet, when we reach a certain point in our careers, we feel almost this guilt because others are not where we are, which is odd. And people sometimes get this awkward feeling of surpassing people that don’t have your talents in your environment. You should never think that way because your skill is yours, that person’s skill is theirs. And just as you had to find your place, they have to find their place in society. It’s adulthood, it’s called figuring out your shit.


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HOPING FOR THE WORST: DO YOU SOMETIMES WISH EARLY DISMISS OUT OF FEAR

adult, black-and-white, body

“Mentally broken.”


INTRODUCTION

Have you ever had a moment of or moments in your life where you think something internally is wrong, but isn’t? I have spoken in the past about being a hypochondriac, where you might make something small and meaningless into something much bigger. For me, it has always been health, and I probably couldn’t be any healthier. Well, what is it, what has me thinking about poor health even in good health? Better yet, why do any of us build in our minds that we are worse off than we are in life. There are so many people with real problems, and here you are worry about nothing. So many sick people truly wish they could be in my shoes right now.

WHAT IS THE REAL FEAR

The fear that you are in poor health is actually a few factors. One of the reasons has to do with the idea that you fear tomorrow and the day after that, and so on. Meaning, the fear of aging is on so many people’s minds. We sometimes hope that we are sick so that we don’t have to deal with the idea of losing people close to us. But dying for you so young hurts so many people that it almost becomes selfish on your behalf to feel that way. Another fear comes from maybe not wanting to die, but the idea of dying never accomplishing your goals. So many are cut short of what they strive to become, and those are the stories that hurt the most. Other fears can also come into play as well: not amounting to what others may think of you, not wanting to live in financial straights, and fear of having too many expect too much of you and not being able to live up to the expectations.

DEALING WITH THE FEAR

Now, in dealing with these mental-emotional issues, you have to keep yourself busy with something you love in life. Because death is the inevitable, we all are going to perish one day. And constantly thinking about it can be a sign that ones life is empty. That is not to be mistaken with not having anything to do. It just means you need another outlet that will take your mind off of always thinking of the end. Yet, once you lose someone close to you, it becomes harder to push into the back of your mind. But controlling the mind will help you maintain your sanity and stress levels.


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TALKING A GOOD GAME: WHY SOME REFUSE TO WALK AS MUCH AS THEY TALK

Image result for TALK THE TALK

“You got all these dreams, well, put it to the test.”


You ever meet those people who have all these animated ways in which they explain all their dreams and expectations? Or how about the people that can sell you hopes and dreams of what they promise to do for you once they become successful (usually men who lie to women fall under this category). There is just one problem with these types of people in life. They are the groups of people who can talk the talk, but when it comes time to walk, it’s a whole other ball game. My current pursuit is filmmaking, and I’m sure there are people out there way more knowledgeable than myself. But they cannot put the pen to the paper and write their script. They’re not able to pitch that script nor are they able to make it into a film. When it comes to knowing all the technical lingo and classical filmmakers, they know it all, yet execution of their plans fall short.

You want to know why these guys and gals never remotely go anywhere? It all comes down to daydreaming and fears. Do you remember the movie Collateral with Jamie Foxx as the cab driver and Tom Cruise, the hire hitman, in the backseat. Jamie Foxx tells Cruise of all his plans for his own Mercedes Benz car service, yet Foxx’s reason for not starting is the money to get it off the ground: staffing, cars, and other logistics. Near the end of the film Cruise finally tells Foxx, you were never going to do it anyways. You are going to spend your life drowned out by daytime television like a lot of people when all it took was a down payment on a Lincoln Towncar to get started. And just like that, Jamie knew what that meant. Jamie could talk a good game, but when it came to actually putting himself out there, he couldn’t do it.

Jamie even went as far as to lie to his mother in the hospital as if he were really working for himself. At lunch, Foxx would even flip through the pages of a Mercedes pamphlet to see the fleets available. A lot of people do this; looking at what they wish they owned and daydream. The fear of launching comes from not feeling you’re good enough or worried of what others will think of you. Yet truly successful people don’t listen to what others have to say, they are doers. If you’re listening too much to what others say, you’re not progressing. You see, in the end, I was never a guy who was good at talking a good game. And sometimes, I even admired the people who can because I have more of a walking ability than talking. But in life, the one walking is more in alignment with success than the one who talks all the time.


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CONQUERING FEAR THAT ISN’T FEAR AT ALL

Full Frame Shot of Text on Wood

“Made up problems that really don’t exist.”


Failure to launch is the term we use for someone that has a hard time stepping into the world and being on their own. They do so because they either don’t have anything that they are passionate about, or don’t have any goals. And when you don’t have goals you just sit around hoping for things to fall into place. But as long as you’re not putting yourself into harms way, then things can’t happen to you. But the harms way is the main reason why so many people will not step into society. Now me on the other hand, I love the risk, I love the fear, I love the unknown. I have a short film I will be producing in less the 11 days, and have no clue how it will go. The project could flow, or I could run into multiple problems. My first short film I had problems, but it was a learning experience for my second one. But what is it about what I do that makes it so hard for so many others to do?

You see, growing up, my mother always kept my sisters and myself in the library and school. She made sure we were in academic environments, or some other environment where I had to get in the game of life. So I fear, but I still do anyways. And there is a reason for me not quitting out of fear. It’s because I have been prepped to step into the world knowing I will fall before I gain my Image result for mother silhouettefooting. My mother told her children growing up, “Struggle through your 20’s, to have a life you want afterward in your 30’s and so forth.” So for me, it’s second nature for me to attack in life. And my mother wasn’t some PhD or Master’s Degree holder. She only had a high school diploma, and nothing more than that. Yett she was willing to put herself in the know when it came to raising her children. And that know has made her children fearless to step into the world.

Now, as far as the people who fail to rise to the occasion, like I said earlier, they have these fears. What’s odd is that they are usually the extroverted people. The introverts always so much more successful in their careers. It’s odd because if the extroverts used that outgoing personality then they would be so much more successful. For some reason, they don’t see it that way. It’s for that
reason that extroverts I feel need an opposite to befriend or be in relationships with. And like the extroverts, introverts need someone who is more fearless in their pursuit of personal happiness. I grew upRelated image with so many people that if they put that extrovert personality to use they could be on a whole other level. But what is interesting is that they look at me and say, “How do you do that?” As if I have some sort of magical power. I don’t have any magic powers, it’s just that I fall and get up because I know falling is an aspect of life.

See, in the end, you should approach success like approaching hanging out with friends. The same way you network in your friendships, you network in your career endeavors. When you try meeting new people, do you give up when someone does not want to hang with you? No, you just hang around people that want to hang around you. It’s the same with success; you have to put yourself out there. And the reason they don’t is the fear: fear of what others think, fear of failing, and fear of having to continue to satisfy. But me, I want the risk, I love the unknown, I love the fear; it’s what makes me feel alive.


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SOCIAL MEDIA MADNESS: HOW SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BECOME THE NEW HYSTERIA

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“Too much social media forces you to be less social.”


 The personal computer was first designed as this educational tool for people in society. And since the advent of the internet, it has become this machine that got away from everyone. But once social media started to take hold, everything has began to go haywire. And why is that? Well, the main reason is because everyone in society today is allowed to have an opinion. It used to be in the past that having an opinion existed, but it wasn’t taken at such face value unless it came from more qualified people. Now, anyone who builds themselves a platform can speak to the masses. And not only speak to the masses, but also be taken seriously. But what is it about the social media landscape that causes the hysteria? For starters you have to understand us as people. This is a basic layout of who we are.

People are these emotional creatures who feel just because we have an emotion, it automatically means something. And that feeling is broad and changes constantly, which is why so many of our human emotions don’t mean anything. If you’re passionate about ten things, then three or four are important; maybe even less. But in the society we live in today, everything is supposed to be important. If I have ten things that are important to me, then all ten mean something. So when you turn on the computer, on top of the 24 hour news cycle, you have a constant reminder of how important all these things are to you. It’s to consistently keep your attention, but it inevitably creates more anxiety and depression. It speaks so much to the human psyche because everything is urgent, breaking news, or special report. All three aspects of life that make us panic when we think of anything important.

And on top of the importance you have people in society who want to be mad. In the past, people who were mad, just were mad. Now there is an outlet that allows them to have voice and these people are letting everyone hear their voices. They’re able to do so with social media, and we are listening. They know we are listening and they get louder by the day. So we look at all the news we are constantly bombarded with, and their hate comments, that we began to feel depressed ourselves. A seemingly happy person instantly becomes unhappy. And in the end, the hysteria comes from watching and reading so much on television and the internet. What has been created to inform us is making us depressed. So if you want to decreases your odds of going crazy, you have to disconnect every now and then.


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SHARING FEARS: WHAT ARE MINE AND HOW DO I DEAL WITH THEM

Related image

“We all run from something.”


Author Marianne Williamson has a very well-known passage in her book The Return of Love regarding our deepest fears. And she states that, “It’s not that we are inadequate, it’s that we are powerful beyond measure.” We don’t want to think that we are less than at sometime in life, then to realize we were destined for greatness in that thing. But what I would like to open up about are my own personal fears. And the top three fears of mine: dying destitute and poor, not attaining my goals, and monogamous relationships. Fears that have plagued me since I was a young child all the way into my adult years.

Well, let’s first start by looking at my first in life. My first fear of dying broke and destitute is number one. So much so, that even as a kid I thought growing poor my life would never change. And now that I am an adult, I see abandoned, adult, black-and-whitehomeless people walking the streets of New York City. They converse with themselves. They have no friends and no family, but most of all, having to come to terms with sleeping in the city streets. What reality that must be, that wow, I am about to fall asleep for the first time on a park bench or in the subway system. What must that feel like that first night with no roof over your head. And that fear has made me not want to really enjoy too much of life because you just never know.

Which leads into my next fear; and that is the fear of not attaining my goals. I can go out, and get a job, work until my retirement, but that’s not good enough. There are career interests that I have, that are not quite conventional. But if not successful at them, very little in life is worth doing. I am not interested in a lot of stuff people in my age group are interested in. I black wallpaper, black-and-white, boxerdon’t mind working on my indie projects and making $50,000 to $60,000 a year. I could easily rise in a corporate atmosphere and make well beyond that amount. But it’s not the title or the climb in an organization. It’s the ability to have a voice and say what I want and get paid to do so.

As far as my relationship phobias, I have multiple ones. They are phobias such as: fear of having to compromise, fear of rejection, fear of infidelity, fear of having to connect, and fear of failure. These have kept me from pursuing a relationship since the age of 16 years old all the way to now I am about to be 30 years old. As much as my previous passage about fear of not achieving exist, I still push forward. To be Image result for rejectionhonest, I don’t even think about the fear of failure in career endeavor. Mainly because I was raised at such a young age to pursue, it’s normal now. For example, my first short film was not that great, and I already working on the crowdfunding for my next one. It’s not even a thought at times because it has become such a norm. Yet when seeking relationships, it has not been a pursuit of mine. So now it seems odd to do so.

In the end, we all have these crazy fears. But conquering your fears is a lot easier said than done. You try your best to persevere past them, but they’re there. And maybe that is a nature thing put inside of us to keep us safe. Only problem with being safe is that I don’t want safe. Vulnerability is a very intriguing trait that I like. I don’t want to be homeless, but I am chasing a career path that could lead to that. I don’t want to fail at my goals, yet I am actively attaining them. I don’t want to not have a relationship, but I am pushing to set myself up for monogamy. So let me ask you something, how do you take on your fears?


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