CHOICES THAT SOUND GOOD: WHEN CHOOSING A CAREER BECAUSE THE LOOK OF IT

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“It just fits.”


why we work

So many people in America attain their jobs just because of the title alone. And you reading this post could potentially be that person. So what are my thoughts on people who have careers just because it sounds like a good thing to pursue. For me, I don’t really have a view on the matter as it pertains to criticism. I just hope you have realized that the decision you just made is very long term. So don’t make a now decision for life because your life really is predicated on what you do for a living. And if you do have a career that hopefully you can make a change, you do so before you retire never doing anything I actually love.

making others proud

Everyone want to be able to look at their child and say my kid graduated from medical school. My kid is now successful attorney at a well-known law firm. But no parent walks around bragging on the fact that their child a sanitation worker or mailman. But why, they are making an honest living and taking care of their families. It’s because parents like the idea of how it is received by others in society. So the kid does what the parent want and pursue their career. Only problem is, they will resent what they do if not happy. Or, they become dissatisfied and turn their frustration on the people at their jobs. And then your child becomes the one that people despise.

money is the goal

You want to make all this money, but you have to realize that money is not the initial thing you are trying to attain. You should be trying to gain as much experience as possible that is en lieu of you making money. Because the money is not immediate, so most people give up while in it. Having the tenacity to stick it out is important. But if you don’t have the tenacity move on, stop trying to appease other people.


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GENDER SWAP: HOW THE EXPECTATIONS OF MEN AND WOMEN CHANGES

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“SHe-IM.”


expectations

As a man in society, I have always known from a young age that there are these expectations from us that are typically different than women. Funny because I was raised in a house with a mother and two sisters. You would think I was inundated with all these feminist viewpoints that I carry with me still today. Yes, there are ways I see the world that may be through the lens of a women via the women that raised me. But at the same time, they gave an honest feel for how the world actually works, not an illusion or from their own internalized disdain.

what is gender

When we observe what is gender, we have the definition which states that gender is the cultural and social differences that make up both males and females rather than the biological. Because the terms male and female are the biological words for the organism which either produces sperm or ovulates in the creation of an organism. Which means a women (gender) who is born female (sex) is so mutually inclusive because of the classification we give to the sex of a person. She is born female therefore she is a woman. And the same applies to a man. So in terms of the class and the biology, we are able to understand. But is everything so technical, or is there just an obvious aspect of all of this I have explained?

“outlined” expectations “old and new”

The following at the bottom are the two genders and the two sexes, as well as their expectations and limits.

MALE

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  • Gender: Open doors for the woman on dates, protect and provide, being the voice for the son to lean on, sexual opposite, spiritual opposite, vocal
  • Sex: provide sperm, physically defined (shoulders, chest, arms, etc.), genitalia (penis), Y-chromosome
  • New Roles: Minimal house work, voice to both son and daughter equally, co-provider, limited protection, not always sexual opposite
  • New Limits: No new real change

FEMALE

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  • Gender: Care for children, stay at home, voice to the daughter, sexual opposite, docile, primp, silent
  • Sex: X-chromosome, eggs, physically defined (breast, hips, rear), genitalia (vagina)
  • New Roles: not always sexual opposite, working woman, voice to both son and daughter equally, co-provider, self-protection, independence
  • New Limits: No new real change, except some physical attributes (strength)

workable or not?

Now, will it work in the end; men and women swapping in society? Can the woman be the man and man be the woman? I think there are certain aspects of who we are that will, and others can’t change. The ones that can’t change are so deeply rooted in who we are that change is impossible. Evolution has made us into who we are that yes, we will try to manipulate the limitations of ourselves, yet it will prove to not work. But there will still be considerable changes in expectations.


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EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS: HOW YOU CAN BE HATED FOR BEING MORE THAN YOU “SHOULD BE”

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“Who are you to be where you are!”


Filmmaker and actor Tyler Perry gave a speech before a group of college graduates where he stated exceeding past the expectations of where people feel you should be is when you create enemies. Because now you start to get individuals saying how dare you think you’re more than what I think of you. It’s from this internal emotion built in where we just know how your life will turn out. We just know that you can’t be more than what we see you as in society. And when you do succeed, the people who never thought you would be where you’re at have to do some serious self-reflecting. They’re Image result for self reflectforced to come to terms with two things in life. One they aren’t good characters of judgement. And number two, they are now forced to sit back and look over their lives thus far. They must now look at themselves in the mirror and say, “If only you had taken your life more serious, where would you be by now.”

So now, you as the successful person becomes the scorn of another person. Because they look at you and say, “You made me see myself.” Why, well no one really likes to look into a mirror and reflect. We often turn away, and look somewhere else. But this person you thought wouldn’t succeed makes you reflect; so much so, it stays on your mind. Especially if the success story had a troubled past. When the past of a person is ground level, and they work their way from that point, there is also an inner hate and disdain carried toward that person. You see, a successful person with a troubled Image result for accountabilitypast can be dismissed if we don’t know or having ever met the person. But when that person was someone we saw throughout life, sour grapes fills our mouths. What’s sad is that so many people can still rebound in life, yet they’re so angry at you, they miss their own blessings.

Is there more, well yes there is more to discuss. What happens when the success is doing something that the person angry don’t like, and can’t figure out why you’re successful. Well, the success has people that love what they do. And if it’s not something you like, find something that you like and stick to it. But people hate to not like something and what they don’t like go on deaf ears. No matter how ridiculous the claim, the claim still exist. That’s why social media tends to be so dangerous because there is this mob mentality; a community of people who wouldn’t otherwise have a Image result for mob mentalityvoice, able to negatively effect lives of others. In the end, when you take off, and become successful, you will have people not like you. But when you reach an altitude that many feel you shouldn’t have reached, then you get hate. But it comes with the territory; you can’t be a loser out of fear of people not liking you.


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PERSONAL PERCEPTION: HOW YOUR PEERS SEE YOU VERSUS HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

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“You’re never who they think you are.”


We all have this idea of how someone sees us in life. But how can you be for certain if people actually like you or if they are just putting on airs to get in good with you. Because you are never the person you are to you as you are with others. No matter how much you try to convey that you are someone else, they see you as something else. So which one is right; their perception of you or your perception of you? Well, this depends on the image you project outward to people. Sometimes how people see you is on the basis on what you show them. If you show them this person that you’re not, then they’ll believe in what you show them. And what’s crazy is that no matter how much you tell them you are different, they’re still going to believe the person that they have come to know the longest. But then there is the other side of things.

You have people who view you in a light that has nothing to do with what you show them, but who they think you should be in life. And if you want to see how someone really views you, then ask them to introduce you to someone on a date. You will get a full idea of what they think of you. From the physical aspects of who they introduce you to, to the mental conversation the person has on a date. After the date, you should make it your business to meet the person you want to date. Then once you do meet the person, bring them around the people who had a hand in hooking you up on a date. They had the person they wanted you to be with, and they might grow to resent you because you have more than what they felt you deserved. This is how you find out who your true friends are and how they really feel about you.

Like I said earlier, you’re never to others who you are to yourself. What is it that would make a person feel like you don’t deserve the person you want to date? Because people feel that based off their own inner workings, they observe you. And to them, you fall into an equation somewhere below where they stand. So if you exceed the expectations of what they feel you deserve they have to evaluate two ideas in their mind. Number one, they are not as smart as they thought they were at pin-pointing a friend, and you as the successful friend makes them feel mediocre. But instead of figuring out a way to move away from the mediocrity, they want to stifle your growth. So in the end, be prepared in life to lose people that are not meant to be in your life. Not everyone is, and that could even extend into family.


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REFLECTION: WHY SEEING SOMEONE SUCCEED WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU IS IMPORTANT

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“They did it, so can I.”


As an African American man, I was able to witness the election our nation’s first Black President of the United States. And what transpired following was a young generation of Black males and females that became interested in politics. Whether it is aspiring to lead the nation one day, or even taking the rankings in their own communities. Seeing someone that looks like you in a position that normally people who look like you don’t hold is important. Because coincidentally enough, seeing someone that looks opposite of you is not enough to make you think you can succeed in your career field. When Democratic hopeful Hilary Clinton ran for president last year, young girls all over the country thought they would see the win of the first female president. But why, why is it so important to see you in certain places of employment succeeding?

Well, like I said prior, it has to do with not seeing someone that looks like you hold that position. I never think twice about growing up in America being a professional athlete because so many Black men are athletes. But there are other professions where we still very rarely take initiative to join. There are still very few Black male engineers, school teachers, and doctors. And come to think of it, I have seen very few even in my lifetime, professional Black men, who have held the previous employment positions. So when you don’t see it, you automatically rule it out as a potential career path. Even myself, I have ruled out so much in my lifetime because I never felt it was possible for me to do so. So what you have is a large population of men who aspire to do only a few chosen things where the odds are astronomical to succeed.

But what about gender, is it important to see a woman dominating in her field. Of course, it’s why so many young girls want to become models. It’s an industry where the women on average earn more of an income than the men. But we still don’t have enough women who are engineers, top corporate executives, and high rankings in the military. This year, even though Hilary Clinton did not win in 2016, so many females recently became mayors and council members in elections throughout the country this past election day. And with that, there is wave of younger women in their twenties who have taken to politics. Also with new tech companies popping up, it’s only a matter of time before more women start to enter this industry as well.

In the end, those who don’t understand why it’s important generally fall under the category of the norm. You’re used to seeing those that look like you in a position, so it becomes irrelevant. So you don’t need to be told or see someone because it’s a given. But until the society we live in is fully representative, you’ll always have people who look at life this way.


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STOLEN AMBITION: WHAT IF THE WOMEN OF THE PAST COULD HAVE HAD THE OPTIONS OF TODAY

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“What little they had made way for a lot today.”


My mother was born in the year 1960, making her the last of the baby boom generation. This was the first generation where men were coming home from the war and suburbs were being built up all across the country. Mass marketing and advertising was introduced and the influence of entertainment was taking hold. Why was so much going on during this time period? Well, it was because this was an era of mass population growth in the United States. Jobs were in abundance and the men who came home from World War 2 were settling in and with their wives building large families. But there was something else that was prevalent during this time period. And that is the fight which was taken to the streets by women all across the country along with the civil rights movements. Women were expected to act a certain way at times outside the realm of their choice.

It makes you think that what if these women were born in today’s society. How much would they have been able to accomplish had they had that push that women have today? My mother recently showed me a photo of her when she was a teenager running track and field. A sport that I took part in myself at a young age. Only difference between me and her is that, not only am I a man, but the encouragement I received was different than her generations. Girls were told to “shut up” and “keep quiet” when expressing their goals and ambitions. Ambition was for the boys, and staying at home was for the girls. It makes you think; how many of those house wives back decades ago often dreamed when being at home all day. What were their dreams when they would be cleaning floors or preparing meals for the family.

These were thoughts I never got a chance to ask my grandmother or great grandmother that I could ask my mother. I would have loved to ask my great grandmother, before you married my great grandfather what did you dream about in life. Because women today don’t have all these goals and women in the past didn’t have them. It’s just that women were not expected to do anything in life. I was an adult when my grandmother died, I wish I could have asked her what were her goals as well. Just so I could get some clarity into what life was like living with all of this bundled up inside. Asking them what it was like to not be able to do what you wanted to do.

See, in the end, so many young women say there is still a lot of work to accomplish for the women of today. But in the past, they had it much worse, even with the good times. I guess that’s why I push so heavy at my goals because my mother never got her chance to shine like she wanted at a young age. So many women at that time had so much potential to be great, but greatness was not an option. And for the ones who stood out front despite the lack of encouragement, it gave way to so many today.


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BLACK EXPECTATIONS: HOW LOW STANDARDS FOR BLACK MEN HAVE MADE ME PUSH BACK HARD

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“You’re supposed to fail!”


As a Black male in society, I have noticed something since I was a young boy. And that is that we are not only expected to fail, but almost encouraged to fail. And what it has done to me was turn me into an overachiever. Some might say, what is wrong with overachieving in society; well a lot. If you spend your time trying to be the best in your career pursuits, then where is the time for you to enjoy life around you. So what I have done in my 30 years so far on this Earth is utilize my time for not being what I am expected to be. Which is a baby daddy, I have no children; a criminal, I have no arrest record; a woman beater, I have never been in a relationship. What you’l wind-up doing is taking the odds against you to the extreme.

Well, if all is true, then what should be done by us as Black males. Should we disregard the stereotypes and live our lives? Or should we continue to forge ahead and fight for greatness. What’s scary is that once you die as a person, the only one that remembers you on a constant basis are those that love you most. People talk from time to time about the great things you have done, but does it matter. Does how much I work to combat stereotypes actually mean anything? Because what if 100 years from now, there is no disdain toward Black men, and what I have been living is something of the past? That would mean I gave up so much of my life for nothing. Instead, I could have been partying and enjoying every step of the way. But what about the flip side of things.

What if I continue on my path, and in time I do something great. Something so great that it completely alters the course of history forever. For example, what if Martin Luther King Jr. chose to be an academic instead of a Civil Rights leader. He might be some retired elderly man right now, still living in Atlanta, Georgia. Or what if Joan of Arc or William Wallace never stood up for what they believed; how would life have changed? So, in the end, there is something to me working and not enjoying in life. Maybe there is something that is indicative in me as a Black male that needs to be in society instead of out partying. I’m not saying that I am better or more special than the rest, but the ideas for society that I have make me realize that I am not supposed to fail. I am here for a reason, and that is to pass my gifts on to the world.


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