“You like me: check yes, no, maybe so; or friend.”
Naw, I kinda look at you as just a friend, sorry. These are the words no one wants to hear, especially a guy. But how did it happen? How do you find yourself in this uncharted zone? You thought you were doing and saying all the right things to make yourself seem more attractive, so what happened? Maybe I was too nice, or maybe I was too mean. On second thought, maybe I was not nice enough, or maybe I was not mean enough. Well, what was it that brought me into the friend zone?
These are some the questions we ask ourselves for anyone that has been in this space known as the friend zone. Guys manage to get ourselves into the friend zone a variety of ways. One way is that we are interested in a female and never make the move to show interest. She become familiarized with us as more of a friend or develop a brotherly bond with us. Then once we do work up the courage to ask her out, she immediately place you into that zone or get skived-out that we like her. But wait, did she place you into the zone or did you put yourself into the friend zone.
A lot of guys start off by developing a friendship like a woman has with her friends. He never expresses how much he likes her initially. Like for instance, instead of just coming out and asking her on a date, he invites her a to kid cousin’s birthday party. Then once there she is introduced to the family as his friend. Or he’ll say let’s go grab some coffee from a diner and hang out. These are friendly exchanges, that are a lot different than just asking a woman to dinner outright.
Another means of placing yourself into the friend zone is to share certain common interest that she typically share with her girlfriends. For instance, you guys are both into the same chick flicks. I don’t know, call me crazy, but I don’t think too many women are interested in a guy if when they first meet he owns the DVD box set of Sex and the City. Not only owns the set, but follows plot lines and know all the characters. These are friendly common interest that she shares with her girlfriends.
So, knowing how some men may get in the zone, are there ways women become friends. Yes, as a matter of fact, women have been known to get in the friend zone. The reason why it’s fewer instances when women do is because it’s harder for guys to be friends with women unless we grew up together. Especially if we find her to be attractive. It’s natural for us to be into her, but as for women, they seem to be able to friend us easier than we are to friend them.
Now with that said, is there any way for a man to be brought out of the friend zone? Sure it is, but there is just one problem. If you start dating someone that you have deemed to be a friend and it does not work out, than it could effect your friendship. But some people say who better to date or marry than a friend, but it can get tricky. Because you never want to lose a good friend. So how do you approach dating someone that is a good friend. You have to assess if the relationship does not work out, then is it worth the friendship. Some friendships are not worth losing, so usually the friendship stays just that, a friendship.
So in the end, I will say, approach the situation from a non-friend position in the beginning. Don’t try to friend your way in because you don’t want to deal with rejection. Ask the person out and if they say no, keep going. But once you develop a friendship, it can be hard to get out of that position.