“Would you mind sharing?” “Yes or No?”
The age old question, “Is it ever OK to kiss and tell?” And for those of you not too keen on the cryptic language I am using I’ll just say it. Is it ever fine to share with others the names of your sexual partners? In addition, to that, how about disclosing the details of what you guys did together in the bedroom. Well, that’s if it was in the bedroom to begin with. This topic is different than the usual sociopolitical topics I write. The reason for this topic is because I have witnessed not just with people I know, but public figures who openly talk about the people they have slept with publicly.
Not a choice that I would make and not because I am a good person; I just believe in people’s right to privacy. Some people don’t want to open their lives for public consumption. Reasons could range from feeling uncomfortable about things that may arouse them or for performance purposes. I’ve always found it odd that someone would want to know that much about another person. I guess to each is own. But when you’re dealing with people who clearly are more private, it’s violating to open them up to others in such a fashion.
Now, of course you have people from the other side who find nothing wrong with telling people not only the names, but intimate details about their sex partners. I find that more men will tell more random people and women will share with people in her inner circle. But why do you feel the need to tell? Is it such a great experience you can’t possibly keep it to yourself? Or was it so bad, you’re keeping someone from experiencing your pain?
Women typically express the details about men when they are disrespected; usually in the case of infidelity. They will find out a guy is cheating and say, “I know you’re not cheating on me with your_________,” fill in the insult blank. Or they’ll say, “You cheated on me.” “And to think I was really into you with your______.” Oh, when a woman get angry it really comes out. And that’s when you find out this whole time how she really felt all those times you slept together.
Men on the other hand tell people, mainly their friends for bragging rights. Reason being is because it’s a conquering mentality. It’s an achievement amongst men to sleep with, or as guys say, “take down,” a woman he has been pursuing for some time. And as his friends, we have to know every single detail. This is when men typically become just as gossipy and chatty as women. We act like it’s a woman thing, but we can’t wait to talk about our sexual escapades and include names. Or what guy is becoming monogamous with a woman everyone has been with.
In the end, some people are open, but the majority of people see it as violating. Now certain exceptions apply, and that’s with public figures who some of which have been open. Even going as far as putting it in a tell all book. There are even people who get angry when you don’t admit to sleeping with them. For me, I would rather not disclose, but not uncomfortable conversely. Yet I have and will always find it odd when people fill the need to do so.