IF YOU DON’T SOMEONE WILL: THE REALITY OF CHEAT CULTURE

 

Man and Woman Lying on Bed

“The new normal.”


infidelity

When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that people who married stayed together and happy forever. The more I grew the more I learned about relationships and how things really work themselves out. And one of those things I learned about was infidelity in marriage. But even more shocked when I found out the female statistics on cheating in the relationship. From there I wanted to know why so many people cheated on their spouses. Then I started to do some quick research and found out that so many people do so because their relationship has no passion within the marriage. But if you are working and raising children it’s easy to lose that passion. So is it that cut clean and dry or are there steps to get to that point.

the women who hurt

We are so used to hearing about men who cheat but we are not even thinking about the women who do so. For some reason we don’t associate cheating with women, but so many women do so. But why, is as easy as a guy approaching and next thing you know, she’s cheating. No, it is more of a process that takes place over time. Because I don’t think most women just run out and start cheating on her significant other. Now if he cheats first, that might be a different story. But in general, women usually hold out longer than most men. And a lot of that has to do with how women think about sex. They emotionally connect to someone via sex, so it’s hard to just go out and sleep with someone with nothing there. But once they do, it usually ends the marriage and there is no getting her back. She’s not going to go to that guy, but you have most likely lost her.

if it’s not good, get out

There are still some people who wait until they are married to have sex. But in today’s society you have people who have sex quicker. Now, if the sex is not good, most men may stay just because he might get sex again. Women most likely will stop the situation and move on. But for the ones who don’t move on, they stay for other reasons outside of intimacy, more so security reasons, then find the sex outside the relationship. So how do you become that good lover, and is it still enough not to make the person go outside as fast. In my opinion, if the person moves that fast, they are just prone to do that because people don’t jump off the ledge as quick.


Personal Website: http://www.faheemjackson.squarespace.com
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WAITING FOR MARRIAGE: SAVING SEX FOR MARRIAGE IS NOT GOOD

Close-up of Woman Holding Condom

“Don’t do it to yourself.”


holding out

The idea of waiting until you’re married to have sex is still a requirement for so many people. And the reason so many still do is because of their moral code via religious beliefs. But there are some fundamental problems with this belief. And the reality is that sex is a very nature activity that is a contributor to your overall happiness. So when your sex life is bad, then you could run a risk of living an unhappy life. This is something that no matter how strong your belief nature has a way of over riding the feeling you get from spirituality. So why do people hold out knowing it could be this problem once they do have sex. Or better yet, what do you do if you get a partner that is less than adequate?

what to do what to do

When you wait until you’re married to have sex the main problem that arise from this would have to be who suffers if it’s not good? In the case of men, we are able to still find a way around a female who is a bad lover. Since we are so driven through the physical sense, we can make things work. Because we not only can teach a woman to be better, but we enjoy being the teacher. Now on the flip side of things, sex is a lot more emotional for the woman taking part in the activity. So being in a marriage with a man who is a virgin, she can’t quite enjoy like we can. If you are unaware or unsure, she loses interest. And if you are a woman waiting for sex until that marriage point, you most likely will get hurt. Because now you have to figure out how do I stay faithful and deal with bad sex for life.

trivial, sorry, it just is

With all that is going on in the world. You have wars, famine, poverty, political corruption, diseases wiping people out, and not to mention a rock in the form of the end of the world that narrowly misses Earth. Now you have this mind that God is watching how you use your penis and vagina. It just makes the idea of God sound silly. And for the most part, religion is very centered on self. I believe in this because of everything that could be watched I am being watched. Humans are one of millions of species, but we are the ones watched the most. So to me, you are depriving yourself of living your best life because you are bound by the unknown. And to be honest, most people who divorce will admit that waiting was a big mistake.


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SEXUAL HEALING: HOW ORGASM CONTRIBUTES TO A HEALTHY LIFE

Close-up of Woman Holding Condom

“That oh so good feeling.”


in the sheets

Ever read any statistics on sexual lifestyles? If you have, then you would know that people who have routine sex have healthier hearts and a better quality of life. Now note, when I say routine, I assuming that people orgasm. Which is something that the vast majority of woman can not do during sex. And that is because the average man last considerably less time than a woman. So a lot of women refuse sex from their mates. So what can you do if you are this position to have a better sex life? Or better yet, what is the hope for those out there struggling to have sex? I guess they can’t experience the greatness in health related benefits.

not engaging at all

Things may take place if you are not having sex in your life. This could mean not only the personal feelings associated with emotions, but also the lack of physical abilities. This could mean you have a hard time lasting in bed and erectile dysfunction. But it’s not like you just walk outside and get sex. You have to be desirable and if that is something you lack, then you will never experience any form of love. What a tragic feeling in life, but what are they to do. Our initial attractions to each other are physical, and people can’t help the genetics they have, which contributes to their lack of sex. It hurts, but that is the way of our world.

not able to reach climax

For this one, it is more geared towards women. And that is because women struggle to achieve orgasm than men. And the reason being, performance from the other partner. But how do men last longer because that is a big reason along with other capabilities. And there is no 100% right answer to this question. Because he has to be interested in getting better as well as working at it. But if you are with a partner that is already turned off, how does this work. So this means men lack confidence and women have their own set of depression.


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SEXUALLY TABOO: WHY IS THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY SO FROWNED UPON

Related image

“One of the biggest industries, no one admits to watching.”


Pornography is one of the biggest and yet most taboo industries in America. But for some reason, when it comes to the top known entertainers in the business, we all know their names. We’ve all heard of Ron Jeremy, Jenna Jameson, Lexington Steele, and Bella Donna. Yet if you don’t watch porn, how do you manage to know these people for what they do? And they will all tell you of stories of meeting people, very well-respected people who have seen their work and compliment them. Then, when asked a question of do we watch, we always give the same dry reply of no, that’s not my thing types of answers. So why is it so taboo in society.

For starters, we are protective of our children and content that they consume. If we start to normalize the porn industry, then people are afraid that children will start to either gravitate toward it faster, or they’ll become desensitized. Only problem with that frame of thought is that in today’s society, we have more outlets that are out of the reach and control of parents. You as that adult might try to put passwords on the computer. But somehow, your children can still gain access eventually. Especially considering we’re living in such a digital age. Anything you want is literally a click away. You can type almost anything in a search engine and find a result for whatever aisles you.

Another reason for the taboo is that we feel that watching too much leads to an addiction. And becoming addicted to sex in the form of watching porn, can actually remove you from dealing altogether with the human element. You can also start to develop physical ailments if you are watching too much because watching most often leads to personal stimulation. So the ailment comes from too much personal stimulation. And that addiction can lead into more severe mental problems that can occupy your personal space. Your quality of life can ultimately diminish, and you start to effect the people around you.

Now, in the end, the reason I don’t think we should be too worried is because the industry is so widespread that it’s almost like we don’t even think twice about the idea that it exist anymore. And that has to do with the idea that so many amateurs are now making an income from home. Parents in the past used to be worried about their child reading a Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler, now they’re worried about their kid making a sex tape. Crazy thing is that the more digital takes hold, the less voice the parents have in their child’s life. So at this point all you can do is raise them the best you can, and hope for the best.


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SEXUAL INSECURITY: HOW MEN STRAY FROM SEX DUE TO FEARS

Close-up of Woman Holding Condom

“Failure to launch because of failure to launch.”


As a young male, many of us have engrained fears as it pertains to sex. They can be anything from fear of getting a woman pregnant to catching an STD. But this topic is about how men have fears of sexual malfunction. The refusal to engage in sex due to not being able to perform. And that performance anxiety keeps some from being able to experience pleasure. And for that reason, those men typically self stimulate because there is no risk of not performing. You know what you want, and there is no risk of failure. So there are guys who actually bypass sex altogether to keep from experiencing a letdown.

Now, self stimulation is fine, but what happens when it is something done for a prolonged period of time? You become dependent upon it and can’t perform when you do have sex. But you also become detached from the person altogether. And that can also stem from not wanting to deal with the letdown. See for women it’s different. Performance is not something that can effect women in the same fashion. Why, well because it won’t stop a man from having sex with you. So your lack of performance won’t keep you from having a sex life. Men are the more dominant creatures, so we are expected to perform. But keeping yourself from performing out of fear hurts you more.

Why does it hurt you more? Well the guy who fears and does, is in the race more than yourself who don’t try at all. He is actually putting himself in a position to be better than you are by not attempting. Now, all of this might sound crazy, but this is a real life issue. Especially when guys are young between ages 17 – 25 years of age. You’re expected to be more at something that you are still becoming new to in life. So you really are unfamiliar until time goes on. But not attempting at all, like I said before, still puts you at a lose. Because most say wait until you get married. I disagree, just because it sounds good biblically, but it’s not a rational human reason.

Rational human reason meaning it’s a natural act to take part in. And the woman and the man could be just as miserable in the situation. So, now that you are married, you have to just deal for life. But if you are unsatisfied, there could be problems. For you as the guy, you might want to engage, but she is not the least bit interested. So, as a woman, what do you do? That’s why it’s never good to wait until this point. But at the same time, that means potentially losing a good situation. In the end, you will always have guys fear not performing. But it should not keep you from doing so. Because if you don’t at all, it’s the same as the guy whose bad at it.


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TRUTH BE TOLD: DO WOMEN REALLY WANT US ALL THE TIME?

“Do they really want us like we think they do?”


When observing monogamous relationships, we seem to think that it is men and not women who have a hard time being tied down. But, who’s to say that women really want to be with us. Or who’s to say they want us all the time. Women are typically the more emotional ones in the relationship, so we think that women are these sweet and innocent beings that only want us. Me, growing up around a lot of women in my life, you have enough conversations with them and realize that aspects of the previous statements regarding women are not all the way true. Well, you ask, what aspects of women am I referring to.

One of the aspects I am referring to is the notion that men are more sexual than women. Men are supposed to be more apt to cheat, but I think women think just as much as men do about infidelity. The only problem is that social norms in society frown on women being more sexual than men. But social norms and who we are biologically as humans are different. Women are expected to suppress feelings because it is socially immoral. Yet the internal feelings say something different. Women see plenty of men that they are attracted to, and yet never make a move. Now, outside of social norms, men generally are more impulsive while women observe a situation. But that’s the not the autonomous number of women and men.

Another aspect of women not being able to be at times who they truly want to be with us is the choosing method. When choosing a man, women would really prefer to be with someone who they love that loves them. But society tells you to be with a guy of a certain financial and educational means. You may not even want to be with this person, yet they have on paper what you are taught you should want from a man. I have always wondered do women really care, or do they “HAVE” to make excuses. Because women usually say, he doesn’t have this and this, but he has this other quality. Why do women have to point out the greater of what he does not have to uplift what he does have that is considered the lesser to where he could be in life. This has to do with a space of judging as well as biological.

I say biological because there is something very attractive about us as men when we are productive members of society. But it’s even more attractive to women when we start from nothing and build ourselves to something. Then again, society, once again, dictates a lot of how we live our lives. Women are expected to make excuses for what a guy lacks by stating he doesn’t have this, but has this. At times she really want to say, I wish he had this and this, so I wouldn’t have to choose between to the two (Oh, and by the way, it goes both ways). They would love to say, “Why can’t I be with a man who is successful in his career and can please me sexually.” Why must I say, “It aint all about the sex.” In reality she wants the sex and the career.

You see, in the end, women are expected to be the better of the two of us. They’re expected to be the moral compass of the relationship. It further feeds into the ideology of the woman’s way is the right way. Yet, since when is anyone right all the time. Sometimes she want you to be right about something. But when you live in a society that makes you feel like you are the face for what is right and wrong, where do you find time to be human? You need someone to be right in cases where you are wrong. You would really like to be overt sometimes, but you’re always expected to be nonverbal and passive. I will say that times are a lot different than in the past. But we still, even in a modern era, expect women to be the greater morally & ethically and the lesser sexually & emotionally.


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