I HATE YOU FOR YOUR SUCCESS: WHY SOME MAY HATE YOU FOR YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS

Hi Haters Scrabble Tiles on White Surface

“Your life their entertainment.”


self loath

I spoke in short about this very particular topic in the past. And that is that be prepared for you career to bring in hate as you climb the ladder to success. Because people will use your success as a means to understand why they are not achieving in their own lives. There will be all types of reasons as to how you had a different opportunity than they themselves had. But the reality is, very few people as oppose to the majority have a story that made it difficult for them to succeed. A lot more people just settled into a life, and or did not want to put in the time it takes to formulate into the person they wanted to become.

they hate you most the closer they are

You ever see a successful entertainer come out of their city and become a hit elsewhere. They are the most hated in their hometown the most. Why, well when you are from one place, they remember what you used to be. And it doesn’t dawn on them why you are who you are now. But most of all, you are a reminder of the time they wasted not doing anything. Now, if you come from a small place, then the hate will really grow because you found a way out of a situation so many want to do. I saw this first hand with a professional athlete from my small city. As with so many who were able to go on a do great things, so many didn’t. And he was a former street kid, turned athlete. So he really had people that were hurt over their situation.

how do you respond

How do you plan on approaching the hate yourself? That is the only thing you need to know. And if you are able to approach the situation and deal with it, then fine. And it should be a easy decision because someone else’s bad decisions have nothing to do with you.


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LOST IN A DAILY TRANCE: HOW WE WOULD RATHER DREAM THAN MAKE A MOVE ON THEM

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“A dream is nothing but a dream without plan and execution.”


The above photo is of Academy Award winning actor Jamie Foxx. The photography is from the movie Collateral where he co-starred opposite Tom Cruise. His character was a man who would drive people around in his taxi cab, and during his lunch breaks, gaze at luxury vehicles. His character had dreams of running his own car service of luxury vehicles. It would be an experience and not just a ride. That was his dream until he ran into Tom Cruise, who was a villain in the movie. Cruise’s villainous character, unlike Foxx, was a doer. And for obvious reasons he had to be because he was a hired hitman. So his career revolved around standing by his word to get the job done right. So what does all this have to do with the topic at hand? Well Tom Cruise made Foxx’s character realize something about himself.

Cruise’s character gave Foxx a big ultimatum regarding his dreams and expectations in the world. Cruise let him know that the in reality he was never going to do what he set out to done anyways. Foxx would be in a trance with day time television and then one day he’d die. Die, never accomplishing or even setting out to do what he said he wanted to do in the first place. And that is what this topic is about today, not setting out to accomplish goals. These are the dreamers, the people who would rather dream about what they want then to go get it. And like Jamie Foxx’s character who fancied himself with Mercedes Benz booklets of their latest fleet with hopes of starting his own car service, we look and gaze at the imagery. But the fear of failure keeps us from making a move. Yet we fail anyways in life when we do nothing.

Then again, it is all about fear in life? Sometimes we don’t know how to start what we want to do. For me, pursuing a writing was a little more clear than for most. I put myself in the know, and I am currently pursuing. I have been actively writing since the age of 25 years old. So now, with six years of writing under my belt, I have four more years to break into writing my screenplays, playwrights, and novels. But like I said, I have been writing, even putting together a short film and currently working on the production for my second. So putting yourself in position to work toward what you want is not a guarantee, but it is a step in the right direction. And that is the hardest part for people to stomach. Not the putting yourself into position; but more so, putting yourself in harms way to accomplish anything in life.

In the end, you don’t want to deal with the idea that you might set out to accomplish something and fail in life. But that’s part of the climb is to fail in life. You can’t attain success until you’ve stared into the eyes of failure. Because once you stare down failure the worst is behind you. Especially for those of us who had to climb to attain what we have in this world. You have no other choice but to take the road no one wants to travel. And it’s that road that makes you appreciate so much when you finally get to where you have to go.


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GPA, WHO CARES: HOW IMPORTANT ARE GRADES REALLY?

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“Is it really a determinant in life?”


All my life in school I was taught that if you are not getting the grade in school, you are setting yourself up for failure. How are you not up late night studying for an exam or doing the homework? If you are a “C” student, then you are not going places in life. Now, if you are a straight “A” student then you are in position to make things happen for yourself in life. No one cares about other aspects of school, like your ability to learn subjects that interest you, how long you are willing to toil away at a subject, or even your ability to bounce back from adversity. Because a lot of those “A” students are so used to getting good grades, they have a hard time coming back from anything bad in college or in life. Why else do these good kids fall so hard?

Because when you grow up in school, the teacher will gravitate toward the good student/s. And when that good kid goes to college, the professor has no problem giving you a failing grade. They are not going to care who you were prior to college. And this is the first time in your life you have had a poor grade. So they at times can spiral downward. The kid who didn’t get higher grades have had to grind in the face of being told you can’t succeed outside the grade. The “C” student might be an “A” student in life, but they are not good in school. I can tell you for sure that school and life is so different. School is this structural environment that makes you study minus the notes. But in life you’re allowed to use your notes and all other materials for your personal gain. You have to go get it in life, not brought to you.

Schools like to scare kids into telling them things about the real world that is real, but also somewhat of a distraction. Because when you step into the real world, everything up to that point that is not relevant to work experience means nothing. You have to prove yourself, and if you are not use to proving yourself, then no one cares about anything you have done in this world. That is why grades are important, but like I said before, a little bit of a distraction. Because I was not the best kid in English growing up, yet I self-published two books this year, and working on my second short film script. But, I also taught myself everything about writing on my own. People feel since I didn’t learn in an academic environment I can’t possibly write. But writing is writing; and to get better you must continue to write well.

In the end, grades are not the end all be all, but schools look at it that way. To me, it is not just a way of ranking people in classrooms, it’s about providing exclusivity in the schools. If every kid in the classroom gets an “A” then the teacher gets reprimanded because the course is too easy. If too many fail, then the course is too hard. So we structure schools that so many can’t do well, then grade them in life on the basis. Let me tell you, it’s not that; you are not going to fail in life because of a grade. Succeeding in life has to do with perseverance, will, determination, consistency, hard work, and persistence.


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FALLING FORWARD: HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

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“Have you ever felt like quitting?” 


We all have gone through it at some point in our lives. Failure; failure is something we have to learn to deal with in life. It’s what makes successful people who they are in society. No successful person has become successful without having to jump the hurdle that is failure. And the reason I said hurdle, is because you ever watch track and field? See the people who run their race and then out of nowhere they trip and fall over one of the hurdles. From that point on the race is lost. What makes that person great is their willingness to never give up. You eventually see them winning and think it came naturally to them. But little do you realize, it took a lot of falling.

Now, the example I have would be my own path in life. I am pursuing a career in filmmaking as well as an author. My first film was a short where I only raised 60% of my budget to make my film. One of the actresses didn’t show and the sound was not that great. Yet I still made my first short with limited help. I also self-published a novel and a book of short stories together. Both have been moving relatively slowly, but I have already started on my next novel, book of short stories, as well as next short film. So what was it that made me regroup and start fresh? Why didn’t I just say, “You know what, this didn’t work, let me move on to something new.” Why, well, it’s because I believed I had something. A vision that only I could see, and I would have to persevere and keep moving forward.

That is the key element; moving forward, or better yet falling forward. When you you fail, you fall, but fall into the next short film, the next book, the next objective. Always be falling into something else because before you know it, you’ll be falling into success. People will go, I can do that, and that’s when you’re doing your job. You do it so seamlessly well, it makes the outcome look so easy to perform, yet quit difficult under the surface. But this is a process that takes years to perform. People can only see the finished product while you know and understand the entire process you had to overcome. The heartache through failure time and time again. But each time you got up and kept going.

In the end, we all have a journey to a means. It’s tough because when you get to a point in life, people treat it as if you were born into this life. Like you woke up one day and poof, success. They don’t see the long arduous road to where you are now. And it’s because of that in the moment view they can’t get to where they want to go. They see the now and where they want to go in the future. They are not willing to put in the work of falling and getting up, falling and getting up. But those who are willing to put in the time and work will eventually fall. They’ll fall forward into success.


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MY MONEY, MY RULES: HOW PARENTS USE FINANCES TO DICTATE THEIR CHILDREN’S FUTURE

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“Are you a hostage to your parent’s wallet?”

Do you or someone you know have a parent that have told them that if you don’t pursue the career endeavor I want, you will not be receiving my financial support? I have heard parents tell this to their children. And the result of not pursuing what I want as a parent is either refusing to support your career choice or some parents have went as far as to kick you out of the will. The push for students having their career path chosen for them is more of a foreign decision than an American one. Yet there are families here in the United States who carry this same ideology. Luckily for me, I didn’t grow up in this sort of household.

You see, for me, my mother always encouraged me to pursue what could not only make me successful, but something that I loved. She not once told me nor my sisters that if we didn’t pursue what she wanted, she would not be there for us. That freedom to know that whatever career endeavor I chose she would be behind me, is what I needed. Yet, I wish more kids had that type of moral support in their lives. So, when I told my mother I wanted to pursue a career as a writer, she was right behind me. But why aren’t more parents behind their children’s plans.

For starters, parents don’t take their children serious. There is a lot of work that must be put into being what you want to be in life. Parents feel they should steer their children in the right direction because their kids can not be taken serious. For instance, a kid tells their parent/s they want to be an archaeologist. Now archaeologist don’t make that much of an income, so you have to really be passionate about being one. Parents look at their children and go, “You’re not serious about this.” And a lot of times they’re right. They know you’re not willing to put in the time and work. So, in order for them to respect you, they must see your progress.

Now, there is another aspect of parenting when it comes to their children choosing their goals in life. And that is that parents don’t want to fund something that is not a good enough return on their investment. Children are an investment and when you put your life into them and they throw it away, it becomes angering. They think to themselves, if I put this much into you, I hope to get this much back for you. Meaning, it can cost $1 million believe it or not to raise a kid from age 0 (at birth) – 25/26 years old when they graduate college in graduate school. So pursuing acting, writing, singing, dance, sculpting, archaeology, etc. that has to do with the arts and/or humanities is seen by parents as a waste of time. They want you to pursue a career in law, business, engineering, or medicine.

In the end, parents want to steer you because they think they know what’s best for you. But in reality, for them to force you into a career field not knowing if you possess a skill or desire is pure selfish. They are stripping you of an even better life. So in my opinion, if you want to go off and create your own future, you have to be willing to disobey your parents. Which is hard because most of us want to do what’s expected of us. But the only way to show your parents you’re serious is to stop receiving their help and build it yourself. Because ultimately, your parents want to respect to you. And nothing is more respectful than building your own future independent of them.

DREAMS: BELIEVING IN YOURSELF IS HARD

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“Ever think big, but can’t find your way?”
The phrase seeing is believing is such a real statement. But seeing is not enough, you have to be willing to execute on your plans. And this is where most people get stuck in their pursuit of their dreams. They have all these visions, but are either not quite ready or don’t fully believe. Why is that; why is believing in yourself so hard for so many people? Well, there are a number of reasons why it’s so hard for people to follow through with what they want out of life. I can think of a few right off the back.
The first is the most obvious, and that is that we fear the failure. No one wants to set themselves up to fall. Especially if the fall is really hard. We don’t want to step out into the world and risk losing big where we can’t recover. It’s almost like we want to tailor make life so that we know right off the back how much we will lose. This way we can be comfortable with the outcome enough to pursue. But the reality is that we don’t know if and when we’ll lose. Nor do we know how hard we may fall. So this keeps us from following our dreams.
Another reason why believing in self is so hard is because we are afraid that most won’t see the greatness in what it is we’re trying to achieve. The hardest pill to swallow is that you see genius and they see a waste of time. Imagine if Thomas Edison never was successful and someone else came along behind him and succeeded. You’re talking a lifetime of hurt and pain, just to see someone stroll right in and win. Which leads into our third reason why we find it hard to follow dreams.
The third reason is because pursuing a dream someone else is pursuing and watching them win and you lose. Watching them win makes you realize how you wasted your time. They are reaping benefits that you seem to feel should be coming to you. And that not only makes you resent yourself, but that person who has done well. Your inner disdain is outwardly shown by your failure to rise to the occasion. Now, this is where I come to my fourth and final reason why you don’t follow your dreams.
You know what, maybe you’re just not that good at what it is you want to accomplish. You think in your mind you’re good, but knowing when to throw in the towel is pivotal. We as humans have a hard time with this because we think just because I feel something, means it truly has value. And the reality is that not all feelings mean something. So in the end, people have a hard time following their dreams because of the unknown. We want to know everything; from the risk to the successes. But these are unmeasurable. You have to trust in yourself and work at it. So taking a leap of faith is necessary, but whose willing to take that leap. I will say, those you take the leap are always the most successful in the end.

I GOT A DEGREE CAN YOU TRAIN ME, HUH: THE REALITY OF YOUR EDUCATION

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“Why getting a degree alone is not going to work for you.”

There is this notion that when you get your college degree it supposed to be this magic bullet that will get you a job. This is a big mistake because there a key aspect of college that people don’t understand. College does not count as job training nor does it count as work experience. Let me say that again, college does not count as job training nor does it count as work experience. The reason why I reiterate this statement is because too often people think that the two are linked (college degree and getting a job). What gets you a job is work experience, not a college degree. Your degree sets as a form of ecstatic for your career.

Well, think of it this way. Think about it like baking a cake. The cake is your career, but the degree is the frosting. All the ingredients that go into making the cake has nothing to do with the degree. The ingredients, all the way to the baking of the cake, has to do with what you bring to your life. Once you get the degree, the next day, you’re not this awe-inspiring person. No, you graduate Sunday, and whatever job you have you go back to on Monday. But the hunt may still go on for something better.

The problem grads run in to is that they say they need training. But the training is suppose to come from you. The qualifications for a career should be attained by you. Why because there is a difference between a good paying job and high paying career. Jobs give you training, but they are generally low pay and long hours. A career is most often higher pay, may or may not be long hours depending on the employment. But even if it is long, it is a choice. Which is what this thing called life is all about, choices.

We all have these dreams that are big, but don’t quite know how to attain them. Well, you have to start off small. You want to be a leading surgeon, you’re going to start in a small residency roll like everyone else. But the difference between a leading surgeon and everyone else is initiative. Everyone else will do what is required of them to do their job. The leading surgeon is going up and beyond. Whether it is becoming a contributor to medical journal or giving lectures on medical findings. And that is what they don’t teach you in school. It is your job to take on your career.

Yes, you may get connections, hell even a mentor or two. But even your mentor will only meet with you once or twice every six months or so. Why because they are busy making their living. You have to throw yourself into society. But the best thing about life, there is no right way to go about it. No one has a manual for how to take on your career because a degree alone is not enough. Making connections to people is not enough. You need degree, connections, love for what you do, and the know how for what you do.

In the end the biggest most important aspect of leaving college with your degree is the know. Putting yourself in the know can help a lot. No matter what your economic situation. If you are willing to put yourself in the know, you can elevate yourself; even out of poverty. Those who don’t will generally stay in their position both mentally and financially. Be willing to learn, but also be willing to work. But in time, also learn to embrace failure because it will happen. But the best people are those who are resilient and are able to bounce back from failure.