NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE: WHY I DON’T WANT KIDS

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“Saving myself from what could be a disaster.”


Since becoming an adult I have been pondering over the idea of whether I want to become a parent someday or not. And as time progress, I know I don’t want to get married. But what about a child. Right now, I know I don’t want children, though I think about it. Who knows how I will feel at the age of 40 or 50 years. Because next month, I will be 30 years old, and I still feel the same about having children now as I did as a 20 year old. But also, my ideas of marriage and relationships have not changed either. The only aspect of my life that has changed is success in a career. So why haven’t I changed my stance of children?

Well, my main reason I don’t want children is because I don’t want to deal with the idea of dealing with the other person. Once you have children, there is a dual input in raising a child that I don’t want to adhere to. I have my way that I want to do things and that is that. Now, I do believe that someone else may have a better way. But it’s not about a better way, it’s about my way I want things to go. So with that said, it wouldn’t be best to have children with someone. My best way to go about having children might be to adopt one day. This way I can raise my child how I want to raise them. But are there other reasons that are keeping me from parenthood?

The other reason I don’t want children is because of the aspect of who having to always make them your life. Once you have children, they are your life. You have no other choice because even on hard and depressed days, you have to suck it up and deal. There is no out, most often, parents wish there was somewhere other than here at the moment. Yes, if you’re famous, you can hire a nanny, but most Americans can’t afford a babysitter, must less a nanny. So they have to find a way to deal with their lives. And although this is not a human existence that you genuinely want to live all the time, it’s a must. Children have no choice in their existence, so it’s a thought before having them.

Now, the third reason, is because there are so many things I want out of life. And having children get in the way of those things. And for the most part, they’re not that big of a deal, except when you have kids. Like, living in New York City, I’ll get up and just go for a walk around the city. Just something so simple, is major when you’re a parent. You can’t just up and leave the house. Because you are no longer alone anymore because there is someone there to depend on you. See, in the end, children are a career outside your daily job. It doesn’t pay, and there is no guarantee that what you teach them will ultimately work. So for now, I live my life for myself and whatever benefits me. But children are still a 10% yes and 90% no, and marriage is still 100% no.


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LIVING UP TO EXPECTATIONS: SHOULD I LISTEN TO OTHERS OR FOLLOW THE BEAT OF MY OWN DRUM

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“Stuck between what they think and how I think.”


Trying to please other people or live by how they view you is a struggle that most of us deal with on a daily basis. But if you’re one of the the few that are not as caught up in how others perceive you, you might have a happier life than most. And that happiness could be the main factor in your success in life. But what is it that makes people so stuck on what others think of them? Why do they need so many people’s approval before they start anything in life? It’s this need to fit into a world that might not even be doing you a favor. Yet you want so desperately to fit into this space.

One of the reasons people work to fit into this space is because as a species, we yearn for acceptance. But most of all, we want some form of companionship. It does not necessarily have to be some intimate relationship. But just enough so you don’t feel alone in the world. That lonesome feeling is why you need that other person or people’s input. Going through this world alone is one of the toughest aspects of facing life. You don’t even have to be dealing with a serious financial or health issue. We as humans are just built to want someone close to us. Someone who will talk to us when there is something bothering us. And who+ are you to communicate with when you’re alone?

Another reason we seek to gain the acceptance of other people is to not be looked at as an outsider. This is an action in our lives that adolescence deal with for the most part. But it doesn’t stop there; it goes into adulthood. You actually don’t start not caring how people feel until you’re almost done with life. But why not when you’re young? Why not have it built into your mind that this is who I am, and that’s that? Well, it has a lot to do with self-awareness. We are quite unaware of ourselves and lack a real defense mechanism. So we are not able to fend off the people who might look at us a certain way. Instead of making people accept you for you, and if they don’t get rid of them, we please them. Then again, the feat of listening to yourself and not others becomes real tough when it’s coming from family.

Here is the hardest part, going against your parent’s wishes. You have been taught since you were a child that going against what your parents want you do is being disobedient. But like I said in prior posts, parents know what’s good for in childhood, not as an adult. Yet when you become an adult it’s normal for them to want to steer you in a certain direction. But what if you found what you love elsewhere? Now you’re in this weird position on who to follow. You’re stuck on following your inner self or your parents. But ultimately, the choice will be up to you. See, in the end, we want to please too many people. Yet, how many people are trying to bend over backward to please you? You have to do what’s best for you, and you only. Because you’re the only one responsible for your success and happiness.


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WORTHLESS WELFARE: WHY IT DOES MORE HARM THAN HELP TO A COMMUNITY

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“You might make it, but despite and in spite of.”


Growing up in the inner city, I had a lot of people around me who were on welfare. From my mother at one point in time, to the neighbor up the street, friends, family, and everyone else in between. But there is an even bigger issue with the welfare system that is not discussed enough. And no, I am not referring to the tax payers money being drained. I am referring to the systematic failure it has had on the community it serves. People who are raised on welfare state that they have made it despite growing up on welfare. No one thanks welfare for making them successful. It’s always a way to discredit the program that was actually supposed to help poor families.

Well let’s breakdown welfare as a policy in America. When a woman is a single parent and the father is not providing her with assistance, she is now left without help. So she must go to the government and apply for aid in helping her care for her child/children. Yet when looking at the policy from a rational standpoint, shouldn’t welfare be designed to aid families. The policy should be designed to try keeping the family together. Yet, women are given aid for every child she has without the father present.  Even though there are countless women who depend on welfare, it sets a dangerous precedent in America. A precedent, which has actually hurt a community at large.

And that target community is the African American community. You look in the past from the 1960’s into the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and 00’s. The number of two parent families have drastically declined, and with that decline, welfare cases have risen, but something else has also risen. The disproportionate number of violent crimes in these predominantly Black areas as well. Because now, without that father present, this mother is taking on the burden of raising children alone. So she is not able to monitor everything alone. Her children, more so her son/s, run the street, getting into trouble. They are caught, placed in juvenile facilities, which are just temporary holding cells until they are sent to state or federal prisons. And that is the domino effect of welfare.

Whenever a policy is designed in giving someone a monetary reward for every child they have without the other person present, it can go downhill. Because now, there is a systematic out that can be used in the form of housing, food, and medical aid, payable by tax payers. The incentive to be self sufficient slowly dissipates, and you begin to raise generations of children who think that someone is supposed to provide them with something. That entitlement creeps into adulthood, and the only hurt is to the child. Almost like how everyone gets a trophy, even if they lost the competition. Now those children become adults who feel their 50% should be someone else’s 100%. And the system of people who pushed it are the first group of people to say go screw yourself when you are down and out.

See, in the end, the policy sounds great. But when you look at the trends over time, it degrades a community. The benevolence is nothing more than poison to the minds of young people growing up on it. Who think that a systems cares about them, when in reality it will stop. And that’s the scary part; it will stop. Eventually it will stop and not slowly, but immediate. So you’re talking communities would now be living in the worst poverty imaginable because what should have been gotten rid of in the past is their demise today.


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LEAVING FOR A BETTER LIFE OR ESCAPING YOU: WHY THE SMALL TOWN TO THE BIG CITY MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOU

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“Changing locations is only the start.”


So many people who are from a small city or town feel that they need out. They wish that they could live somewhere that is other than the their current city. What they don’t understand about leaving the small city and heading for the big city is two things. Number one, the same people exist in the big city as your small town. And another thing, changing locations don’t mean your life is going to get better. I live in New York City, and you don’t land on a plane and just instantly become inundated with all this good stuff and positive energy. You have to shift through the bad energy and make a name for yourself, which takes time. Something a lot of people are not wiling to do.

So why do people look from the outside in, and think that their lives will be better if they just move. See, me on the other hand, I had to leave my former city. The career path I wanted to take, I couldn’t get there where I was located. But I was not running from people or even myself. And that is the key aspect of people’s decision to leave their small town or city. They don’t realize at times that they are running from themselves. Because if you hung out with a crowd of people that were not in your best interest in your small location, you could potentially run into the same people in your new location. Why, well because you are unaware of how to place yourself around good people. People going in the same direction as yourself.

You see, when I was living in my small city, I didn’t hang around people who were not in my best interest there. So when I moved here to New York City, the same rules applied. But if you’re one of these, I need to get away from here people, don’t head to NYC, LA, MIA, ATL, or CHI. Because another aspect of the bigger city are the same people you left times ten. Whatever you ran into bad there is worst when you get here. There will be people in your business, people who look at life through a very negative lens, people who have no goals or hope for the future, and people who don’t want to see you succeed. And not noticing these people in small town USA, may result in you running into the same people in big city USA.

In the end, you are the person that most likely need to change first. Your mind has to be right before you move to a big city. Your senses have to really be heightened and your hustle game must go up even higher. Thinking you’re going to escape the people where you’re from is flat out wrong. You are coming in contact with even worst of the same group. So change your circles in your current city, then make the leap for new opportunities elsewhere. This way, you’re prepared for the new challenges that come with the big jump.


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ROME IS BURNING: THE RAPID DECLINE OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION

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“Everything is starting to fall.”


Since President Donald J. Trump have been elected in November of 2016, he has consistently been in the news. And now there’s a new story, adding to the already mass media hysteria. This time it’s for two incidents: the first being the Neo-Nazi/White Nationalist march in Virginia and now the firing of his Chief Strategist Steve Bannon. This now the third person who has publically been fired or stepped down from the Trump administration. The first being his former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, then his Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci, and now Steve Bannon. Now the question is, whose next on the list of people stepping down. And will it eventually get to the president of the United States?

Well, there are key people who have been in the news that could be next in line to be removed from their positions. The next could be the United States Secretary of Education Betsy Devos. She has taken criticism because of her stance on how Image result for devoseducation should be dealt with in public schools. One of her stance that people took issue to was student choice programs. She felt that students should be able to use tax payer money as vouchers to attend private schools. A move that could hurt a lot of good educators. Because what parent wouldn’t want their child to receive a good education. But since we have more public than private schools it would a lot of students who don’t qualify for certain schools as well.

She also drew criticism from the Black community stating that HBCU’s were the model for choice schools. Crazy statement to make considering Black people had no choice but to create HBUC’s because we were not allowed to go to school with Related imageWhite students. And within this statement she made similar claims of leaving it up to the states in whether public schools could use federal tax dollars to discriminate against certain students from certain demographics. So she could be next on the list to be removed from Trump’s administration. But is there anyone else on the list? In my opinion, Vice President Mike Pence position is fine and attorney general Jeff Sessions; as well as Speaker of the House Paul Ryan. The next after Devos will be Trump’s son-in-law, and the duty his daughter serves.

See, Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, who not only serves as Trump’s Senior Advisor, but he’s also the husband of Ivanka Trump. Ivanka is Donald’s Advisor in the White House, which is a serious conflict of interest. Jared Kushner comes from a prominent real estate family, and his role as Senior White House Advisor Related imagemakes his role a conflict of interest with his family  business. He also came under attack for his meetings with Russian officials during Trump’s presidential run. Now his daughter Ivanka came under criticism for him appointing his child as his advisor before she stepped down as the face of her own jewelry brand. Both of these people being forced to step down could cause Trump to falter. Not to mention another advisor to Trump Kelly Ann Conway. He could begin to make even more vital mistakes.

And in the end, I feel this is how the government plans on getting Trump out of office. Break down everyone he has appointed. Then the people he trust most, force them out. Now he’s surrounded by nothing but government people he does not know, nor does he want to communicate with on any level. He’ll be gone, andRelated image Pence could step into his position, with Paul Ryan as the acting Vice President. New faces would come into play, and America would go back to business as usual. Which is what the system was supposed to have been, but Trump won. And he should really buckle down, otherwise we could see another president forced out for the first time in almost 20 years since Bill Clinton was impeached.


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DIFFICULTY ADJUSTING: WHY PEOPLE ARE PUSHING BACK AGAINST THE TECH SHIFT

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“What we doing to ourselves?”


Recently, people have found it hard to cope with  the idea that jobs in the United States are moving out of the country. But not just any jobs, the industrialized jobs that once built this nation. Now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t any jobs left in America. It just means that the marketplace has shifted around. We are moving away from an industrialized nation to a more technologically savvy nation. And that is something that so many people did not see coming. People were under this impression that we’re going to work in factories for life. But everything in society changes, everything. And that you have to be able to shift with the constant change. So now everyone is mad.

But mad, mad at what? We have always been a nation that has made these types of shits in technology. Yes, jobs are shrinking in one area, but we will be making strides in other areas. And the fact that we are in an open marketplace, this creates so many more great opportunities. Yet so many are resistant to change in our society. No matter if it’s social, economic, or educational. Changes have to take place; this is how one nation stays ahead of another. And if America starts to lag behind, then this nation as a whole will start to  take losses. So what must be done to prepare for the shift that is taking hold in our society? They must face the inevitable, and move with everything else in our world.

As technology progresses, products and services will become more efficient and productive. Not only that, but cost will drastically be brought down.  And no longer will you need the labor of people to get a job done. Because a computer will be able to handle what people used to do. Meaning, we as a society will become more of an informational, operational, managerial, group of people. The man or woman who can use their hands to perform a task is a dinosaur. Now, what used to take pain-staking hours of labor can be done in some instances with the click of a mouse. Once again, does this mean jobs are loss, absolutely, but not permanently. Old jobs are removed and made way for new opportunities. Then why are so many people raging against the machine? Because of the time to put into learning something new.

And in the end, that’s the biggest concern with the tech industry taking hold. It’s not that people are down and out. It’s that people start to age and get set in their ways and don’t want to learn anything new. You are more than capable, but you’re so used to the status quo, you think it should stay that way forever. But remember one key aspect of change while you’re fighting it. The change that able you to be who you are, doing what you’re doing was pushed against. Yet the push was ineffective, which laid ground for you to be you. So you have to adjust and figure your shit out, there’s no other way.


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TAKING RIGHTS: HOW WE INFRINGE ON EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS WHILE FIGHTING FOR RIGHTS

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“You take my speech and I’ll take your protest.”


The Bill of Rights are the first ten Amendments to the Constitution of the United States. And slowly but surely we are in a race to lose those rights. But not by way of the United States government. But by way of each other as citizens. We, for some reason in the U.S. today, love to catch each other saying or doing something that we disapprove so the person can get into trouble. Now you might ask, how can your rights get you into trouble? Well, all we need is for you to do something that people don’t approve of first. It doesn’t matter if you broke the law or not, just as long as you got caught.

And this nation of children that tell on each other has taken hold. But more than than that, we have become police in each other’s lives. You say something that is you expressing your freedom of speech, and I’ll expose it. Then you turn around and catch me protesting something you strongly disagree with and then I lose my job for what I believe. That is a dangerous precedent we’re setting is going after people not because they broke the law, but because they say things we disagree with. And the populace just remains quiet, not saying anything or getting involved until it’s too late. Now what do I mean by the title I use, infringing on each other’s rights.

This is what I mean. The NFL have been a topic of discussion since quarterback Colin Kaepernick decided to sit out the national anthem. People have gotten made and decided to threaten boycotting if he was accepted back into sports. But now the Neo-Nazi/White Nationalists groups have been standing up for the right to have Confederate statues in the Southern states. Though I’m not a fan of the men and women who are Neo-Nazis, you have no other choice but to allow them access to march. Unless laws are broken you are now infringing upon the rights of others. Now, we may not agree, hell I don’t, but in order to keep everyone in alignment with rights in the this country, you have no choice but to allow access.

Because unpopular and/or hate speech is protected by our United States Constitution. Is this a sick misuse of the rights that we have in this country, yes. But as long as people go through the proper channels, there is nothing that can be done, and maybe should not be done. Because if we don’t, how long before another group says this I disagree with, or this is hate.  And it’s obvious that a Neo-Nazis hate, but in a country where freedoms are open so long as you don’t incite violence. Once that happens you are now susceptible to being stop. In the end, the problem is not just why people protest. It’s the fact that rights are such a grey area in America. Because using logic, sentiment aside, you have to allow for protest, speech, and open press. Even as unpopular as you might see it, you have to protect even hate speech to protect speech as an entirety.


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