“It hurts to say no, sometimes we don’t even ask.”
There are far more hurtful experiences in life than getting rejected. But the feeling of being told no can be so painful. Rejection can be such a broad word: from not getting the job you want, to getting rejected from the school of your choice, and even someone telling you they’re not attracted to you. There is almost this exposing feeling of someone figuring you out. You had this secret and now they know, and there is no going back. What are the various ways you can cope with rejection you face in your life? Does the feeling of rejection ever go away? Let’s start by analyzing the ways we experience rejection.
When in the case of attaining employment, rejection becomes difficult especially when it comes to that job we wanted for so long. We have all gotten that letter from a job telling us we regret to inform you that you weren’t selected for employment. And that deflating feeling you get once you realize you weren’t among the individuals selected. Funny thing is, you receive so many of these that they don’t even matter anymore. You actually become numb to the feeling of receiving these letters. And another key observation is you don’t have to deal with the human element of rejection. And that brings me to the next form of rejection that is probably the toughest to deal with in life. And that is the dating rejection.
When you are young, especially a guy because typically we are the ones engaging in conversation first, you don’t have a defense. There is not this real mechanism in place that will aid you in dealing with rejection. So you approach and she tells you that she is not interested and you walk away with a sense of failure. The face to face rejection is so tough, and this is why computer apps like Tinder have become so popular. It makes life easier to deal without the face to face rejection. You swipe to accept or swipe to reject when someone wants to talk to you further. It is an impersonal way to communicate, but it kills the weird after rejection vibe from dealing with hearing the words no. Yet there is still another feeling of rejection that hurts just as much. And that is not getting accepted into your school of choice.
Not getting accepted into the school of your choice may feel like the end of the world. For the past four years or maybe even longer, you have these ideas of the school you want to attend. Then you gather all the information together and send it off to the top schools you want to attend. And one by one you get the rejection letters sent to you. And that feeling of failure sets in and you feel like the past four years was for nothing. What was the purpose of trying so hard in high school. It just didn’t seem worth the work you put in. But in the end, rejection is normal; if you can’t deal with the previous rejections above, you can never become successful. All successful people had some level of rejection. It’s a test of your resilience and strength. So learn how to deal now because it gets worse. This is all a stepping stone toward where you want to be in life.
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