WORKPLACE MANNERS: HOW TO BEHAVE IN WORK WITH EMPLOYEES

Two Men Leaning in Table

“Know your surroundings.”


the workplace

The workplace has been for the longest an environment where you could grow to have a relationship with the people you work along side. But as time progressed, we had to create more and more of an environment where people felt safe. And that means that certain workplace etiquette was enforced so that people wouldn’t feel threatened. Not only were there rules implemented for the workplace for how you should behave, but also laws were enacted that gave people rights that otherwise wouldn’t be allotted to them by the organizations or institutions that employed them. And just to name a few, I have rules below that were put in place to make us as workers feel safe.

protocol

There were policies that were put into place to make the worker feel good about coming to work each day.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT

The EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) has a strict guideline for the protocol that must be taken when in the workplace. And this is a form of discrimination that stems from Image result for EEOCthe Civil Rights Act of 1964. Harassment does not have to be of the opposite sex, nor does the person accusing have to be the one harassed. And that can be an interesting circumstance especially if the person and the other being spoken to have a mutual relationship. That means someone just in the vicinity can be uncomfortable just by your comments that have nothing to do with them. So you have to be careful now in that regard.

POLITICS

On jobs, especially right now in this divisive country, we are a lot of times strictly prohibited from having political discussion in the workplace. With the right and left battling it out to see whose Image result for MAGAside is better, you can really have a breakdown in the workplace with all this political talk. And not just talk about the presidents, it has crept into our sports and entertainment as well. So to keep things very simple, some workplaces don’t even allow people to talk about the fact that they are going to vote period. Because that in itself has caused problems just the idea of your vote
counting. So no discussions about politics, only work.

INCOME

A rule that has stood for so long, even longer than the previous two, and that is we don’t talk about money in the workplace. We don’t discuss who makes what and how they got the money they have on the job. That only creates even more problems when that takes place. Because now you have people who feel this person does not deserve to make as much as this person over here. And now, the workplace breakdown causes a lack of productivity. Since this person makes this much, they should be doing this or that. So we leave income to the person who makes the income.

RELIGION

Please, please, please keep your religious beliefs to yourself in the workplace. Yes America is a place to practice what you believe. But knowing that this is a diverse country where even in Christianity, we practice so many different sects, there are even more issues through other beliefs. So IO don’t even want to spend much time on this one. You will save yourself a lot of paperwork and lawsuits.

efficiency 

The overall goal of any workplace is to maintain the productive nature of the job. We want everything to be effective, efficient, and productive. Once that leaves we are all in jeopardy of losing out.


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ANIMAL TRAINING: WHEN TRYING TO HAVE AN UPPER HAND ON A SIGNIFICANT OTHER HURTS YOU

Related image

“Whose really in control in the end?”


Ever hear women talk about how they have their man animal trained? How when you meet a man you have to train him how to behave how you want him to behave. But there lies a problem in the thinking regarding this method of getting a man to do what women want him to do. And no, I’m not referring to the disrespect of who you’re in a relationship with while training. I am talking about the reaction from the animal (man) toward his owner (woman). She could possibly be setting herself up for a real problem down the line. But for starters, let’s observe a little closer as to why a woman might want to have her man animal trained. And having a man trained has a lot to do with women and their lack of control within a dominant society ran by men. So in a relationship, she can get her just do for what she receives in society.

Forever, women have been the “E” to our “ER.” Meaning, she is the receiver and we have always been the giver. So even in the case of sex, no matter the position, she is the “E” and we are the “ER.” Now that women have had to play these roles for so long, now they would like to have a little animal training of their own. So when a woman gets in a relationship, well some women at least, they want to start to enforce their will on the man. Meaning, they train him to act a certain way, and then in return she gives him a dog equivalent of treats; whatever the treat may be. It could come in the form of cooking him dinner or him getting a sexual favor. And soon as the animal (man) misbehaves, she takes away the treats. But there is a problem with the animal training method, if you as women are not careful. What do I mean by being careful, this is what I mean.

When animal training, you as a woman are doing what any real animal trainer would do. You do what you have to get the results you want from this animal. And yes, eventually, the animal behaves how you want the animal to behave. So, as a woman, your friends come around, and you say, “Watch me work.” You pick up a treat (the metaphor for something you want), and say, “Here boy.” And when the man reacts how you want him to, you say, “Good boy.” (figuratively speaking) The other women are amazed, and soon start to ask questions as out how to train their husbands as well. You get a name as the ultimate dog trainer. But there is something you don’t know as the trainer (woman). You didn’t realize that the dog is actually smarter than you think. He has been watching and studying you.

Then the next time your friends come around you say, “Watch this new trick.” “Hey boy, roll over.” The dog looks at the owner, then turns his head. The other women are stunned that the dog is not responding. Then the owner gets more aggressive, “Hey, boy, roll…,” before she can finish, the dog swipes her with his paw as she falls to the ground.  And just like that, your friends witness you getting schooled. Now you have to make up some excuse like, “Oh my, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” But you know what’s up, he has scoped out your rules. So in a last ditch effort, you dangle the treat in front of him. He looks at the treat up and down, then turns away like he doesn’t want it. Your friends, slowly leave the house as you are stuck wondering what happened. And in that moment you realize that you lost your master skills. But you also realize, the dog was playing you from the jump.

What happens, you ultimately try getting your power back, but the dog saw you already. And that position is not going to come back. So you inevitably start to cater to the dog, “Will you please come go for a walk.” And just like that, the trainer is getting trained by the very dog she was supposed to train herself. And she can’t get too mad at the dog because she trained the dog which would mean a flaw in her methods to train effectively. In the end, when trying to get your significant other to do for you, if they are not willing, end it. Because you might wind-up wasting your own time. And no feeling hurts more than getting animal trained by the animal you initially trained.


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FATHERLESS: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BOYS DON’T GROW WITH THEIR FATHERS

adorable, baby, born

“You are his first guidance counselor.”


As a young boy who grew up in a single parent home without my father, I can tell you first hand what boys miss when they don;t have a man around. Luckily for me, I was able to not only look to my mother, but there were enough men around I could look to, to gauge what it means to be a man. Now that I am 30 years of age, my father and I speak now. This is tough for many considering they have so many grudges they hold for the other parent. As for me, I have learned not mainly the art of forgiveness, but an aspect of life has set in; which is no one cares. The world at large could care less about you not having your father in your life. Because when its all said and done, the world will judge you based on you, not your parent.

Sounds like a hard pill to swallow because you lose so much with that other half not in your life. And what are some of the key aspects of life you miss out on.

RESPONSIBILITY

Image result for RESPONSIBLE

You might be thinking to yourself, your mother can raise you to be responsible. But living in society there are different expectations for men and for women. Even as we start to take on relationships, the expectations of men become different. Funny that your mother never sit down and talk to you about the real standards that women have in life. But instead, mothers don’t want to throw too much at you, almost like she wants to protect you more than see you afraid to step out into the world. But a man afraid to step out into the world, is a man headed down an unsuccessful path. You can’t become successful if all you’re doing is second guessing the entire time. And women themselves will learn to not be able to trust you and depend upon you as well. Nothing you say will be taken seriously because there is not that strong male foundation. Mothers are more apt to give their sons a little more leeway than the father. The father is more authoritative when dealing with their sons, while mom tends to be more emotional. And the problem with mom emotions directed toward her son. He grows and starts to take on these attributes. Which is seen as normal for women, but we appear to be weak and unwilling to take action when action is needed. We’re more likely to be sons and friends to women in our lives than boyfriends and husbands.

DISCIPLINE

Image result for military discipline

Here is the part of life where fathers teach their sons about how to be patient. Here is where young boys get that first hand lesson in good things coming to those who wait, when the one is waiting is focused and poised. Usually boys are quite jittery, but fathers are the ones who whip them into shape. “Boy sit down,” or “Didn’t I tell you to be still?” You’re given these hard directions, that at times come from mom, but they scream louder from dad. And why do we listen to dad’s discipline more than mom’s discipline. It has nothing to do with our love for him more. It has everything to do with the idea that we know and understand, even at a young age the strong staff that dad carries. And that internal feel of dad means business leads into the next thing boys miss out on.

SELF-IDENTIFICATION

Image result for self mirror

The previous paragraph that explains the understanding we have as men when we are in each other’s presence. That feeling that women don’t have when we as men come cross paths with each other. And you look into the eyes of another man and realize in that moment when he is serious, when he is not who he says he is, and when he is burying something internally. And part of knowing who we are is by way of knowing yourself as well. A lot of boys growing up coming into manhood have a hard time communicating with other men without getting emotional because they lack self-identification. Then they finds themselves in trouble because they are not consciously aware. Not having any man who is truly unaware because he was not taught awareness, is not only a problem and detriment to himself but society. And if you look at the statistics, boys who are more prone to commit crimes and wind up in prison usually didn’t have their fathers to teach them men don’t do this or do that in life. So the boy grows full blown from whatever imaginations is there that is not cultivated by the man in his life.

In the end, boys tend to miss out on a lot by not having their fathers or some man around that they can look to in how to be a man. Like I said earlier, in my life, I could look to someone that was an image of manhood. Some boys in the community turned to gangs as a way to link up with men who served as guidance in their lives. And even though mom plays an intricate role in your life, their is so much you lose that have to learn on the fly by not having a father.


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A LESSON BEFORE DYING POSTS: WHY THE COMPANY YOU KEEP MATTERS

Image result for a lesson before dying

“The choices we tend to make in life.”


The above photo is of the historical fiction novel, A Lesson Before Dying. This book would later go on to be made into a motion picture played by Don Cheadle, Cicely Tyson, and Mekhi Phifer. A story about a young man sentenced to death for the killing of a store clerk and two of his associates. The film gave a really great depiction of the racial relationships of the South, as well as the harsh realities of growing up Black in the region. Now my topic today is how does ones’ choices influence their lives moving forward. Because in A Lesson Before Dying, all the main character had to do was pass on a ride with his friends.

We may all see it as nothing more than just a ride with some friends. Yet, in the film, there was something that made Mekhi Phifer, the young man sentenced to die, hesitate before getting in the car. Something in him knew he shouldn’t have been riding with those guys. It’s a feeling at times that we all have when being in the presence of someone we know we shouldn’t. It does not necessarily have to be a group of friends. You could be in the presence of family and a monogamous relationship. But the reasoning for Mekhi’s character getting into trouble is a story anyone can relate to; outside the racial premise of the film.

So many young men have been offered rides by their friends. Then get into the car and find out in the course of the ride, their friends have just committed a crime. How do you explain to the judge that you had no hand in the matter? The answer is, you don’t; and unless they state you had nothing to do with the matter, you’ll go to jail as well. Better yet, what happens when you ride somewhere and the people you are with commit the crime while you’re there with them? There is no way to plead your way out of that situation. In the case of A lesson Before Dying, the culprits died themselves, and Phifer was charged and executed for the crimes. In today’s society, you might be able to argue your way out, but not Jim Crow South.

Which brings me to my last reason point regarding the company you keep. You need to understand where you live and the laws as well. Southern laws are of the strictest laws in America. And what may be a slap on the wrist in one state is prison time in another. So in the end, you need to understand a few key words of advice. Watch the company you keep, be comfortable with decisions you make, and understand the place in which you reside.


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KID GAMES: DON’T LET ‘EM DIVIDE YOU

Image result for chess games

“Are you more strategic than your offspring?”

“Mommy, can I have some ice cream?” “No sweetie, you have to wait until you eat dinner first.” “Daddy, can I have some ice cream?” “Sure son, go ahead, but don’t eat too much.” “We still have to eat dinner.” And just like that, a parent has made a vital mistake in raising their child. There must be one voice in the household when raising a child. If that kid knows that they can run to one parent and always get an ok over an objection, that smells problems for your relationship. This also means that knowing they can get away with some things around one parent and not the other. The structure need to be clear and spoken from one voice.

What I mean by one voice is that if your kid comes to you asking for something they must know that when you say yes or no it means that on both sides. If a kid know they can play both sides, that speaks to the lack of communication from the parents. We are currently seeing the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; where he seems to be more strict and she is more lax. This can be a recipe for disaster if both people are polar opposites. It’s fine to be a little bit different in the parenting styles, but too much difference results in long term problems; as seen with the Pitt-Jolie situation.

But since I am on the topic of divorce; what about communication here. It works so long as the parents are on the right page. But it’s hard to be on the right page with a child if parents are still bitter about their personal situation. Under these circumstances children really are in control. Because one parent might allow the kid to get away with more as a way to spite the other parent. For instance, daughter wants to have a boyfriend, but dad says no. Mom has sole custody, and is fine with daughter having a boyfriend. Daughter wants to date, so she is able to play her parents against each other because she knows they don’t get along.

This is an issue especially if the daughter finds herself in a serious situation and can’t find a way out. She will go to the parent that allowed her to break the rules to bail her out. Now mom has to bail her out because she went over dad’s head in the first place to prove a point. And if he finds out, it could make her look irresponsible. Or, on the other hand, mom might call dad and say guess what your daughter did, just to get a rise out of him. Daughter was using this divide in faction to her advantage. Now that she is in trouble, with the two of them bickering, she is unable to fix her situation. So the scheme that helped her is now backfiring.

In the end, children need to know they can’t play parents for fools. If they fell that one allows them to get away with more, they’ll run to that parent. Only problem is that when trouble arises, with both parents fighting the child suffers. So a child, even in the case of divorce, need to understand that both parents are on the same page. Even if both parents don’t get along, the child should not see that take place. Remember, you’re the adult; you’ve been on this planet longer than they have been. Don’t let them think they know life more than you. You should be the ultimate gamer.