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“In a fast paced world, with long term success.”

Google, Yahoo, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, and way more. We are the generation that is used to instant gratification. You type it, it pops up in less than a few seconds. And if we just so happen to get a 15 second commercial clip we get antsy. And this behavior has to do with so Image result for social mediamuch moving so fast in today’s society. But when it comes to other areas of life, time seems to stand still. And there are two areas of interest where you don’t receive instant gratification: building a successful career and maintaining a successful monogamous relationship. These are two of the most important aspects of adulthood, and two of the hardest to tackle.

Yet, we struggle so much with the idea of having to build so long. Why does it take so long to build a career? For starters, initially, you’re building experience in the field of interest. Our generation wants someone to show us, kind of like working at a fast food restaurant. Then once we learn, we can start making Related imagethe big bucks. But it doesn’t quite work like that; you need more time. So you might think, what time, 6 months, 1 year? No, you should probably take close to 10 years of learning. And that’s when the onset of stress and depression set in. So much of your life is about in the now, that you hear 10 years and say to yourself, forget it. But 10 years is nothing when trying to build a career. As a matter of fact, I’m actually being nice when I say 10 years.

Nice! Yes, nice; it’s more like 15 to 20 years, maybe even close to 20. That’s why it’s best to start young and build. This way, hopefully, you’re still young by the time your career takes off. Then again, when you see someone young doing the things you want to do, you get discouraged. But you don’t know when they started. They could have started at age 19 years old, and are now Image result for GROWTH30/31 years old. We tend to look at the now, and say what you could have been. Don’t regret, you’re still young at 30 yourself, and you will be at 40 years of age. But so many see those who are what they could have been had they have started early.But now, they resent not working at what they want. Big mistake, you’re still young, start now.

But even with all I have written, what about relationships. With so many apps geared toward meeting someone and hoping up in just a matter of hours, no wonder good relationship are so hard to come by. How do we maintain a relationship when so much is based around a quick one hour encounter. But then you look at people who have been married for 25, 30, Related image40, 50, and some more years. And you ask yourself, “How did they make it that far?” Well, they made it that far because there was no rush when they first met. There was trial and error where people learned along the way. Now, there is no trial and error; if you screw up, you’re gone. Why, well there are more options today.

If the generations before us thought the way we do about relationships, I could only imagine what the state of relationships would look like today. There was a courting process in the past that involved not only you getting to know your partner, but the family you were marrying into. Now, it’s meet you today, sleep with you tomorrow, meet your family next week, marry a few months later, and then divorce five years after. Everything is so fast, yet Image result for goalswe want things to last long.We are way too impulsive in our society today. There is little thought that goes into our decisions that have long term effects. And in the end, the long term effects are what I am worried about. Will we wind-up hurting ourselves in the end? Will a generation become depressed and less driven because they are ill-prepared for the real world? Hopefully this is fear, and it dissipates as time goes on. (PERSONAL WEBSITE) (FAN PAGE)   

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“If cash is king, where do relationships stand?”

Relationships throughout history have always taken on different forms as time progressed. But in today’s society there are so many meanings for what relationship currency stand for. How do you define what it means to have relationship currency? Now when I say relationships it can mean marriage or even a friendship. Currency can mean something of monetary value or it can mean something of mental/emotional value. I am here to ask which one is important to you. A lot of people say money and others say what someone has to offer. Some people want a monogamous relationship others don’t. So which is important to you?

The majority of people in society hear relationship and automatically think it has to do with dating or marriage. But what about friendships; how important is friendships and what is their currency. We usually dictate friendship by what the person has to bring emotionally to the table. Because what is the use in hanging around people who are not in your best interest. And what I mean by that, it’s heading in the same direction as you. This doesn’t mean you want to be a physician they should be doctors. No, it should mean that they have some type of goal in life. If they don’t and you do, you guys will fall apart from each other. So relationship currency in friendships should be pushing each other to do better which translate into non-monetary currency.

Well, what about monogamous relationships, currency is important here. But what type of currency? What type of currency is important to you in a relationship? Let’s observe from an emotional standpoint. When you’re looking at monogamy from an emotional standpoint, then you’re talking about how much meaning you bring into someones’ life. This means that when one of you are weak, how well does the other counteract that weakness with strength. And that in itself can be seen as sometimes and even greater form of currency than the monetary. But what about the monetary? There are people that look to this as a form of currency in relationships.

When in monogamous relationship, having an income coming into the house is very important. Maybe not when you’re in your early twenties, but what about once you hit your thirties. Once you get to this point, it’s the getting your life together point. The time where you need to really have it carved in stone where you would like to see yourself in the years to come. Now, money isn’t everything, but when you’re talking about settling down and having a family, you need to keep this in mind. Take into consideration the cost of buying a home, car, paying off any debts, and long term investments like retirement. This is where monetary currency is very important to your future success in a monogamous relationship.

In the end, the meaning of relationship currency can take on many different meanings. It’s up to the person/s interpreting what the currency means or even what the word relationship means. No matter how you look at it, know the currency you are looking for, but also know what your value is as well.


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“Did you wait too late?”

Are you in your late 20’s or even your early 30’s and have yet to enter a serious monogamous relationship? People see this as crazy, but it’s not as impossible as you might think. Especially if you are working toward a goal in life, sacrificing your personal life is an easy thing to do. And before you know it, it’s hard to be in a relationship. Dating is pretty standard, but being in a relationship is a lot different. It becomes hard because now you’re sharing your personal space with someone. You have become used to living on your own for so long it becomes tough to live the opposite.

Your transition from moving in with someone or getting an apartment jointly is tough. One of you might be used to living a certain lifestyle that can be negotiated upon. But there are things people are not willing to compromise on which makes living with someone difficult. You like to sleep with the television on, but they want it to be off. You leave the lights on when you leave the house, they need them to be on. You take longer showers than the other person, and need a longer time in the bathroom to prep yourself. Certain things can be given up and some cannot. What about not being able to give up certain things.

Let’s say for a second that you are living with someone and your non-negotiable is what the other person want you to give up. This could hurt the relationship if this happens. Giving up something you love most is tough especially if you’re not guaranteed to be with this person. You’re really taking a gamble with your life. Now what if you give what you love up and then the relationship ends. Now you’re behind in whatever it was you were pursuing in life. Setbacks that cannot be recuperated is hard to cope with. Money can be replaced, but not time, you will never get that time back in life. So where do you go from here if you’re set into a way as it pertains to relationships.

In the end, a lot of people are used to living on their own for long become turned off by relationships. Just the idea of someone other than yourself occupying your space is an invasive experience. Unless this is something you’re used to, your first few relationships might fall through. It might even take years for you to get into the groove of a relationship. But once you’re used to it, it may not be as bad you might think.


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“Why is it so hard to open up?”

To be in a monogamous relationship is to open yourself to a host of emotions. And to be quite honest, most will dodge the opportunity to find someone to be with because they are afraid of being hurt. But is that a reason to stay alone because you don’t want to deal with the hurt. Now, you would think I would be referring to only women. But no, no, there are plenty of men as well who deal with such feelings. We as men try to come off as stoic, yet, many of us elude from meeting anyone as well. Well why do we do it? What are some reasons as to why people are not able to open themselves up to relationships.

For starters, the most obvious reason is because no one wants to get cheated on. Having someone go behind your back and break what you defined as a code among each other can be traumatizing. After these types of incidents, it can be hard to trust not only the person, but the next person that comes along. All you keep thinking about is the last person who did you wrong. And now this new person may have to inherit the old person’s screw ups. But is it always headache and heartbreak? Are there any other reasons why people find it hard to open themselves up in relationships? And the answer is yes, there other reasons.

Another reason would be that people don’t want to deal with the rejection. No one wants to open up and express their love for someone and get shut down. It’s like those videos of men who get down on one knee, and the woman says no. But most of all, how about the guys who do it on live television. How embarrassing it must feel to be rejected for the world to see. But even in a setting of one on one, it can still be painful. But, are there any other reasons why being vulnerable is tough as it pertains to relationships? And the answer is yes.

The last reason I can come up with is being accepted by peers and family. We have someone we may like, but afraid that some or all the people around us may reject that person. We want people close to us to accept the person just as much as we do. And the idea that some of them may not like the person as much as us, is painful. So in the end, we don’t want to be vulnerable because showing love leaves us susceptible to too much. The emotions at times can overcome us, leaving us helpless. And no one wants to feel down on themselves in an attempt to be happy. But rest assured, sometimes, the person you like is just as nervous about rejection as you.



“Is it ever ok to prowl?”

(Telephone vibrates) Sitting on the coffee table is your significant others cell phone. They are in the bathroom and you are sitting on the couch. Curious as to who it might be, you look down. At first glance you don’t notice anything wrong. But the closer you look, you notice there is the name of someone from the opposite sex. What do you do? Do you answer the phone? Do you read the text if one comes through? Or, do you leave it alone and continue to watch television?

The harsh reality is that most people do look down to see if another man/woman’s name will appear on the screen. And if you do look down and notice a name that is unfamiliar to you, that’s when it starts. The snooping through your significant others phone begins. First thing you do is look to see if there are any text messages from your mate and this person. The longer the message string, the more curious you become. Eventually your curiosity leads to social media.

Starting with the person’s name, you input it into the search engine. You try to gain as much knowledge of the person as possible. You want to know not just their name, their job, how long your significant other has known this person, and then the dreadful question. Are the two of them seeing each other? Oh, yeah, another move is you going through both your significant others social media and the other person. You want to see if they have any photos together. Now, if there are photos of the two of them from a long time as friends, then most likely you’re in the clear. But if you see a photo of them when they used to date, then there might be problems.

Then your mind starts to wonder. Why are the two of them reconnecting after all this time? Why are they talking to each other? How long have they been talking to each other? Have they never really broken up and have talking all this time? At some point in time, you confront your significant other about the matter. And here is where the argument might ensue. You get ask all the questions. What are you doing in my cell phone? Don’t you trust me? You think something is going on? Why all the accusations?

Now, if you’re going to snoop you know how the saying goes, “You go looking for something, you’ll find it.” Even after the conversation, there is still this odd feeling of why are they talking to each other. Especially since they used to be in a relationship. Ultimately, you could wind-up ending your relationship if you find something you couldn’t stomach. So i ask, were you right in the beginning for looking through your other’s phone? Some people may say yes while other say no.

In the end, you have to be prepared for whatever comes your way. Know that once you have the information you want do you stay or do you go? Just make sure you comfortable with whatever the outcome.