Tag: #happy

SORROW: WHY DO WE HAVE HURT AND PAIN AS HUMANS

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“It’s there since birth, but why?”

sorrows

Humans are endowed since birth with a lot of emotions. Emotions that I can’t explain as to why we have them, but we do. And sorrow is one of those emotions that we have as people. Why were we given an emotion such as sorrow? How does this aid us in our existence on this planet. Because everything we are born with in our lives serve as some type of purpose for our survival in the beginning of time. So in having the emotion to feel sorrow, pain, hurt, and dejection; where did it come from in the beginning?

early on

As humans evolved into the beings that we are today, there are things that have aided in our further existence. As I said before in other post, there are families that will never be known because for whatever reason they fell off. Whether it was not having offspring, or taking part in some activity that ended their lives. But emotions gave us the ability to feel compassion, and animal, bigfoot, evolutionmainly for one another. Even though there was tribal fighting because as man ventured out we would eventually find our way back to other early humans. That’s when hostility arose, but once hostility died down some more, man would procreate even with those seen as different. Civilizations stronger arose, and the reason for further compassion became paramount.

maintaining sorrow

As time progress, we not only continue to have sorrows, but we have also used sorrow to take on other meanings. Sorrow also can mean happy just as much as it means to be hurt. We show sorrow when our kid takes their first steps, graduate from college, and get married. We have found ways to channel our hurt into happiness so that tears that form in the eyes come out of fulfillment. And we are becoming more of a global community with each passing year. Who knows, man might eventually become a one nation species. Not in 10 years or even 100 years, but who knows in 1,000 years.

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INNER PEACE: HOW TO CENTER YOURSELF

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“Being one with self.”

ONENESS

We have all seen people meditate, and yet I for one can say that it doesn’t do anything for me. But for the people who do it, they feel a sense of comfort that they have never felt before in their lives. As for me, I feel a sense of calm walking around the city and listening to music among the traffic. It sounds odd considering that I live in New York City to find a calm in the high traffic. But it does, it truly does feel calming to listen to soft rock, R&B, and or something closely related to walking the street. There is almost this montage feel I get in the moment.

WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU

Being able to center yourself is a very inspiring and motivating technique. You lose all the feel for whatever issue you might be dealing with in the moment. No matter what problem you might be dealing with, the calm in centering self is a crucial element to happiness. I feel sorry for those who are unable to stop and be in a moment with self without any distractions. For so many that can’t focus, their minds are moving at a hundred miles per hour and does not seem to want to slow down. So consider yourself blessed when you are able to find your calm.

FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T FOCUS

Now, as for those that can’t focus, hope is not lost. Find something that you love to do and incorporate that into your daily life. Meaning, if you find calm in a book and take public transportation to work, read on the bus. If that is the only time you might have, as simple as it might sound, could be the difference maker in happiness for that day on the job. You might like to day dream; well come up with scenarios of adventure on your way to or from your day job. Get lost inside of yourself in your own world, and you’ll surprise yourself how easy it is to be centered eventually.

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GIVING THANKS: WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR

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“The reasons we keep giving.“

Two days ago was the Thanksgiving holiday. So many people have their interpretation for what this holiday means to them. And for me, Thanksgiving was always a holiday that was celebrated with family. But from me to you, I would like to ask of you, “What does Thanksgiving mean to you?” Do you think of Thanksgiving as just a holiday or does it mean something more? Better yet, what in your life do you have to be thankful for; whether past, present, or future? And putting thanks in that context is important because you not have anything in your past you are thankful for, but your present is different. Something might be in your past that presents itself in an unflattering, uncomfortable, or terrified embodiment. So you want it pushed to the back of your mind as much as possible.

Now, as for me, I am thankful that I have the ability to live in a society where I can pursue my career endeavors. So many people never pursued or never realized what they’re good at, so they miss their mark. And missing their mark makes them feel regret, so they aren’t thankful. And that lack of thanks almost makes them resentful toward those who are thankful. You might be happy and in a good place, but coming in contact with these ungrateful people may actually effect your mood. So if you are thankful, try your best to remove yourself from thankless people. Because you never want that rubbing off on you, especially if you’re in a good mental space.

Other reasons we have to be thankful is associated with our health and well-being. We live in a country which has become so health conscious over the recent years due to knowing more about health risk. But with that comes the price of keeping that going. And the cost to keep a healthy lifestyle can be very expensive, especially if the family is poor with children, or even some middle class families. So if you’ve carved out a living for yourself to be able to consistently tend to your health, that is something to be thankful for because a lot of people do not have that luxury.

Because in the end, it’s giving the thanks as to why we wake up in the morning. If you have nothing to be thankful for, then what is your purpose for living. We live in a country where so ma y people get down on themselves because they have so little. So when you do have something to call your own, it’s worth the thanks.

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LIVING UP TO EXPECTATIONS: SHOULD I LISTEN TO OTHERS OR FOLLOW THE BEAT OF MY OWN DRUM

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“Stuck between what they think and how I think.”

Trying to please other people or live by how they view you is a struggle that most of us deal with on a daily basis. But if you’re one of the the few that are not as caught up in how others perceive you, you might have a happier life than most. And that happiness could be the main factor in your success in life. But what is it that makes people so stuck on what others think of them? Why do they need so many people’s approval before they start anything in life? It’s this need to fit into a world that might not even be doing you a favor. Yet you want so desperately to fit into this space.

One of the reasons people work to fit into this space is because as a species, we yearn for acceptance. But most of all, we want some form of companionship. It does not necessarily have to be some intimate relationship. But just enough so you don’t feel alone in the world. That lonesome feeling is why you need that other person or people’s input. Going through this world alone is one of the toughest aspects of facing life. You don’t even have to be dealing with a serious financial or health issue. We as humans are just built to want someone close to us. Someone who will talk to us when there is something bothering us. And who+ are you to communicate with when you’re alone?

Another reason we seek to gain the acceptance of other people is to not be looked at as an outsider. This is an action in our lives that adolescence deal with for the most part. But it doesn’t stop there; it goes into adulthood. You actually don’t start not caring how people feel until you’re almost done with life. But why not when you’re young? Why not have it built into your mind that this is who I am, and that’s that? Well, it has a lot to do with self-awareness. We are quite unaware of ourselves and lack a real defense mechanism. So we are not able to fend off the people who might look at us a certain way. Instead of making people accept you for you, and if they don’t get rid of them, we please them. Then again, the feat of listening to yourself and not others becomes real tough when it’s coming from family.

Here is the hardest part, going against your parent’s wishes. You have been taught since you were a child that going against what your parents want you do is being disobedient. But like I said in prior posts, parents know what’s good for in childhood, not as an adult. Yet when you become an adult it’s normal for them to want to steer you in a certain direction. But what if you found what you love elsewhere? Now you’re in this weird position on who to follow. You’re stuck on following your inner self or your parents. But ultimately, the choice will be up to you. See, in the end, we want to please too many people. Yet, how many people are trying to bend over backward to please you? You have to do what’s best for you, and you only. Because you’re the only one responsible for your success and happiness.

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DOPAMINE: HOW TO RAISE YOUR LEVELS

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“When it rises, your confidence will as well.”

The pleasure center of the brain known for releasing the chemical Dopamine is vital in what is known as reward-motivator behavior. We all get a certain feeling of euphoria when we experience something that feels good, which is pleasurable. And that great feeling is what makes us want more of whatever that feeling is in our bodies. There are a variety of experiences that will increase our Dopamine levels. Getting a raise on a job, winning at some form of competition, and especially engaging in a sexual activity. Our brains send signals from a Transporter into Synapse. From Synapse, it connects to Receptors where Dopamine activities receiving neurons. And then, passing the message on to another neuron, causing pleasure.

Once message is sent, Dopamine is sent from Receptors to be reused back to the Transporter. This is how we get our reward-motivating feeling. Now, let me break this down a little bit more. Let’s say we are in a classroom, and teacher is asking a student a series of questions. She is holding a bag of Image result for dopamine structurecandy, and once the student gets the answer correctly, she gives him a piece of candy. Think of the classroom acting as the brain. The teacher is Transporter and student as the Receptor. The question is the chemical and connects to the student; that connection is the Synapse. The student replies to the teacher’s series of questions. Each time gets the answer right, candy is given. The candy is the reward-motivator outside the body, but teacher, student, and questions are internal.

We love to receive rewards for what we do in life. It’s a main reason why we have goals and aspirations. With the hopes that there is something that is attached to the reward that gives us a good feeling. We work hard to get a raise on a job, and our pleasure increases. We see the successful birth of a Image result for rewardschild of ours, our levels really spike. But my question is now, are there ways to trick ourselves into increasing levels? And the answer is yes. That trick is called setting goals, staying positive, and achieving those goals. Keeping an open mind, working to achieve is a strong way to increase Dopamine. Is there anything that can effect that besides not remaining positive through life?

And the answer is yes. But I am not talking about internal, I am referring to external. That’s right, what you bring into the body can have an effect on the levels of Dopamine you are sending in the brain. Food that are unhealthy for the body causes you to be sluggish and fatigued. Your Image result for drugs brainmotivation is lessened and this can lower Dopamine. But a major issue of the external is drug use. Because narcotics trick the brain in sending more Dopamine than needed. Causing an overload in the brain, forcing transporters and receptors to crash. And that crash keeps us from ever experiencing pleasure once they are destroyed.

In the end, if you want to affect your Dopamine levels in a positive way, put yourself in a good mind frame. Be in a good place in life and also work to achieve your goals. Accomplishing what you set out to accomplish is vital in your growth. Make sure in the process you don’t bring foreign chemicals into the body that can knock off Dopamine levels or destroy them. Because that good place is the best place you’ll ever feel in life. We all know that height, known as living on cloud 9.

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FREEDOM: WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU

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“And justice for all.”

We are just a few days away from the 4th of July celebration. A celebration which this year will mark 241 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence. And in those 241 years a lot has changed in our society that is unrecognizable to that time period. The physical landscape is now being built up and not out. We have gone through a lot of social changes. From slavery to electing the nation’s first African American president. Even politically, we are a nation of Democrat and Republican. Whereas in the past, presidents were a few elected who belonged to other parties. But my question for the topic today is what does freedom mean to you?

When you look at the American flag, which is a symbol of our freedoms, what do you see? How has living in this country shaped your views unlike someone living elsewhere? For me, I base one of my views on America by way of other groups of people coming to America. More people flock to this nation than anywhere else. We have the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness in whatever business endeavor we choose to be apart of in this country. So if you want to be a physician, you can be a physician. I you want to become an attorney, educator, or even pursue a career in athletics, you can do so. The choice is yours to choose whatever path you want to take. But my other view of freedom is never going back to the way things once were.

And my feelings are this strong because as an African American I know what the past was socially and politically. And that experience that family of mine have gone through is not a shared experience I want. So, to me, another freedom is not being judged by ethnic identity, but who I am personally. And if you don’t want to take the time to get to know me personally, so be it. But having the ability to involve yourself in my life without wanting or caring to know me is problematic. Especially if you are unsure with your own belief system. But what are some other views of what freedom might be to you?

Freedom does not only extend itself to being able pursue your career interests or choice without racial discrimination. Freedom may also be to date and marry who you want to marry. During President Obama’s term, the United States officially announced that gay marriage was legalized. And for the first time in their lives, you had men and women, who were able to marry their significant others of the same sex. A union that people who were in their 50’s, 60’s, and some in their 70’s were hoping for their entire lives up that point. And that is what freedom may mean to so many of them.

In the end, freedom is up to the person perceiving what freedom is to them. Freedom could be pursuing career interests or marrying the person you’re in love with. And the key word when looking at freedom is the “pursuit” of happiness. Pursuing what you want and then accomplishing the want is the most gratifying feeling in the world.

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MONEY CAN’T BUY ME LOVE: HOW HAPPY ARE YOU REALLY WITH MONEY

Piles of U.s. Dollar Bills on Silver and White Suitcase

“Happiness is an internalized feeling due to_________.”

Growing up, my household was classified based on my mother’s yearly income as below the poverty level. I didn’t feel like an impoverished family, but we really were below the poverty level. To me, I thought poverty meant sleeping in the street or eating at a soup kitchen. I didn’t realize at my young age you could work and have a roof over your head, yet still be impoverished. This was hard for me to realize because so many around me were worse off than my sisters and myself. So in my life I wanted to be the opposite of poor which is rich. But as I came through my twenties, my views gave me a different perspective.

Coming into my twenties I started to realize what I really wanted out of life. I wanted to be able to have a voice to express my myself how I wanted. And that didn’t mean behaving like a loose cannon, not having regard for active, activity, beachanyone. Because at the end of the day we all have to answer to someone. I just wanted to express myself in the most rational way without having to choose a side in life and sticking to that side. In addition to that, I said if I could find a way to make at least $60,000 per year it would be enough to start my self employment journey. Now with that said, what does anything I have said in this passage have to do with money and happiness? A lot, there is a lot to be said about money and happiness.

Because notice above that I didn’t say I would be happier if I had more money. I said I would be happier having the ability to express myself and Full Frame Shot of Eyehave a salary to do so. Meaning anything beyond that point is just added bonus. But there is nothing that would make me happier having a lot of money if it weren’t aligned with what I want to do for a living. It’s much more than money. Because if it were only about money my professional choice would not be writing. If it’s about money, we all know you work hard and run to Wall Street. Stock Brokers, Hedge Fund Managers, or the guys in the tech space; you don’t choose to become a writer. Writing is something you love to do.

So what is it about people who think that if they had more money they would be happier? A lot of it has to do with their current quality of life. When you have money, it’s hard to explain to people who don’t have money how unhappy you could potentially be. They can only see their lives and anyone who is above them looks good. They can’t and most likely will never see it your way. But studies have been conducted on lottery winners who have won major jackpots. There are times their happiness actually decreased because they became more isolated and people were hitting them up for money all the time. So it actually produces diminishing returns over time.

In the end, quality of life is key to the happiness. But that is not just money alone that contributes to that good feeling. And also happiness is how you go about gaining your money. The climb is important because once you get to where you are, you can look over time at the build-up. Usually Man Standing on Brown Rocking Mountain Under Blue Sky and Yellow Sunlightpeople who got it all at once lose it as well. They’re not prepared to deal with the responsibilities of having money now. So before you make money, have an idea of what you truly want out of life. Money can buy you tangibles, but what keeps you going day in and day out is something different.

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