CHIVALRY DIED, O-K: ARE MEN STILL EXPECTED TO PLAY THE ROLE

Image result for chivalry

“It’s what you’re supposed to just do.”


rule of engagement

When it comes to men and women meeting each other in society, the initial meeting is the same as it has always been. Boy meets girl, girl says yes, then they go on the initial date as planned generally by the male who expressed interest. But we are in a society today that goes against the conventional rules. Yet, we are still driven to a degree by the process that most lived with an aspect of our new school. And that is something is up for debate today because should men pay for dates. Should women of today be expected to take on the role. Or should we have a society that is a little bit of both?

women of today

In the America that we live in today, more and more women are in positions of power. That means with that comes a degree of standards that exist like no other time in history. And this is where women fall into this grey area. Because men in that same position, our standards don’t really sway that much. All it means for men is that we have more options to explore. Why, well we are very on the surface type of creatures. We start at physical and work our way from there. So when women are looking for mates in a certain tax bracket and men don’t care about the bracket, then women will have to find themselves successful competing against women with nothing to show for in life.

proper treatment

In the case of going on dates, for the me I do think that the men should pay simply because we are the ones trying to get with the woman. Not too many women asking us on dates. So when you ask someone on the date, then asks that they pay, you are part of a much wider problem. If you wanted them to pay for you, you should wait for them to ask you on a date. The person that ask is reaching out because they are the pursuer. Now, women can pursue as well, but most of the time, we are trying to get them to be with us.

change of times

As we have moved on through the decades, men and women have switched roles on a variety of areas. But what will all this mean for women seeking to find a potential mate? And to answer the question, a lot of women are going to be single in the future to come. And the reason why I said single, men are not looking for financially stable equals. We are looking for persona over what the woman has in her bank account.


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BUILD WITH OR ALONE: SHOULD YOU FIND A MATE TO BUILD A LIFE OR NOT

Photo of Man and Woman Holding Hands

“Building together is easier than separate.”


the union

When it comes to pursuing your career, you have to think about some things. One of those things is should I pursue this career alone or with someone by my side. We all would like to go into the world and build, but alone. I mean alone, wouldn’t it be easier with someone. At first we try to go at the build by ourselves, but soon learn how difficult it is to climb alone. And in the process, we meet our significant other and learn two heads are better than one. And here is where most people will build a sustainable life together.

the journey with self

Even with someone in your corner you will have to build a career to some degree alone. So when building purely alone, there comes this hardship with always being to yourself. You don’t have anyone to share anything with; time or stories. The experience of being able to get to that point of success together is diminished. For instance, myself; I am taking this road alone, but I don’t regret it. But that is just me talking, not to say that it’s for anyone else. You just to have a very strong mind, otherwise you will throw your hands in the air and give up. But how will the career build in a relationship be beneficial? I mean after all, the person is not on the job site with you. Your skills are your skills, not their input.

what is the mate’s purpose

When you go to work, it is up to you to be there in the moment and build. Your mate is doing their own thing on their job. So what is their purpose really? Well, for starters, like I said before, you have someone to share your journey with. But besides that, the agony of working a job and then coming home is tough alone. But when there is someone there, they are able to take off the extra that you would otherwise endure alone. They will give the courage to continue forging forward. So the feeling of dealing with work’s struggles are shared.


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IMPERSONAL DATING: WHY AMERICA HAS CHANGED SO MUCH IN THE DATING WORLD

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“We have voices for a reason.”


human connections

As human beings we have built not only civilizations, we have built human connections throughout history. But in recent history we have lost an aspect of that human connection. And one of those areas has to be with how we date in society. People are not really approaching each other anymore, it’s all bout the social media connection. We look at each other’s profiles and judge on the basis of that alone. It’s almost as if approaching a person is this ancient way of meeting. Never did people think that dating life would become so impersonal.

dating methods

The above is a commercial from the dating website eHarmony. If you were to ask people in the past, would they be finding love over the internet they would have probably thought you were crazy. And what’s even more odd, just to show you how we have changed, taboo of dating on the internet is young. As a matter of fact, my mother bought me my first computer at age 12 years old. This was back in the year 2000. Just 18 years ago, it was odd to meet someone on the internet for a date, now it’s commonplace. But what are other ways people are meeting in today’s society?

TINDR & GRINDR
  • These are two dating apps where you can meet someone more instantly, but it is not geared toward monogamous relationships. Tindr is used by singles to swipe left or swipe right to Related imageexpress interest or a lack of interest in someone. If you like them and want to meet you swipe in the direction of interest and proceed forward. Grindr is that same way, but it’s more centered toward the gay community. There is an aspect of these apps that is adventurous, but also it takes away from the building of relationships if you’re only interested in the initial physical encounter and that’s it.Related image

 

 

 

is it all bad?

We all like to think that generations who come after us are doing it wrong. We want to believe that we have the best solutions for dating in society. What’s interesting is that in the next 25 – 30 years you will have people whose mothers and fathers met off of Tindr, Grindr, eHarmony, JDate, and Black People Meet. It won’t seem odd, and will also be looked at as archaic to see life otherwise. And who knows, maybe in enough time, life will go back to how things used to be in our grandparents generation. But as for now, this is dating in society.


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THE RELATIONSHIP TAGLINE: HOW WE AS MEN HAVE SHIFTED OUR LANGUAGE TO APPEASE WOMEN

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“We say it, but do we feel it?”


“I want a woman with her own money, and dreams, and everything else she wants that society says I should want from a woman.” This is the tagline that every guy is supposed to say when asked what he wants from a woman in a relationship. But do you really mean every word that comes from your mouth, or are you just saying that to get in good with women? Because if you’re just trying to get on her good side, she’ll peep your game out sooner or later. Then she’ll hate you more for wasting her time than if you were just honest to begin with; so why. Why do we say we want all these things from a woman in society, yet when we get these things that we say we do, we run from women. It’s an act that woman define as a weakness in men, and it is if you’re looking at it from the standpoint of what we say we want from women.

Only problem is, is that in today’s society, we are carrying this tagline because it’s what women want to hear and necessarily what they should hear from us. I’m not saying that men want a woman who does nothing for herself in life, but it is not to the extent to which we speak in society. But when you don’t say who she is and what she’s doing is important to you, we’re attacked for not caring. So what we have done as guys, is that we lie to women, but not with our words. Women tend to be better communicators verbally then we are as men. So when birthdays and holidays come around, we do things for women because it means something to you. Not always because it means something to us; Valentines Day comes around, you as that woman get two dozen roses. Why, well because it means something to you. Women react to these actions, and sometimes get hurt in the process.

So why is it so hard for men besides the societal aspects to be up front and honest about what we really want from women. And the reason comes from watching women’s likes and dislikes, then behaving according to what they demand and not who we are as a person. Meaning, she wants monogamy, but you want to just date different women. Instead of you passing on the relationship, you play boyfriend, and you’re not boyfriend material. So when it’s time to go to the next level, you remove yourself from the equation, or make her break up with you so you can avoid the commitment. So what is that men want, simple, have your life. Real men are not intimidated with your success. Have your career, hang with friends, but here is where it gets sensitive: do what I say do at some point in time how I want it done and tend to my needs as well.

And that’s when the problems start, since women of today translate that into control. “Do what I say do!” “What do you mean by that!” That’s when the conversation falls flat, not because he really wants to control you. Men are typically not good verbal communicators, so instead of stating the context of what you mean, you further bury yourself by lacking verbal communication. Meaning, do what I say do, isn’t jump when I say jump. It simply means, you have times where your word is law, and I have mine. And this is a particular moment in time when my word should mean something. It’s not control, it’s a reciprocal relationship. And in the end, that’s who men are, but societal standards are such today where you have to lie and give women a tagline. But eventually, she’ll believe in the verbal content and behavior. Yet if you’re not that guy, she’ll hate you more for not being honest in the beginning.


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PLAYING GAMES ONLY YOU CAN LOSE: WHY WOMEN IN PLAYER WORLD GETS HURT IN THE END

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“Two can’t play the game.”


In the world of dating, both men and women tend to play games. But there is a catch when it comes to the world of playing games. And that is that only one person winds-up getting hurt. And usually it is the woman that gets hurt. Why is that; why is it that the woman is always getting hurt? Well, because the woman cannot win at the end of the day. Now if you’re a woman, you might think to yourself, that’s not right. But in reality it is true; you are far more likely to get hurt. Now mind you, once again, I am talking about the game of playing, not just your typical monogamous relationship. When you’re in the game of playing, there is generally a winner and a loser. But let’s get into the reasons why the woman get hurt at the end of the day.

The reason the woman gets hurt in the playing game is because when you look at the game, there is a shelf life associated with women playing the game. Almost like looking at yourself as an athlete. You come into league running and jumping like everyone else, but you start to get older. And the problem with getting older is you can’t run and jump on the basketball court like you used to. You have to learn certain skills to stay in the game. Only problem is that it’s a young woman’s game to play to try to win. So now you’re 35 years of age in the arenas of 23 and 24 year old girls because you want to stay relevant to the men that are chasing after them. And with no prior exit strategy, you find yourself alone while he goes off into the sunset with someone else. And this happens due to the standards of men versus women.

Men and women have similar but not same standards, especially in the playing game. Women “need” a man worth something to play, and the man can be with whatever. Because he just needs an attractive woman, and what you need is harder to come by in the game. So you’re really becoming subservient to whatever he’s willing and able to do. Basically what I’m saying is that in the world of playing, you really can’t hold us to anything because we can always get another woman. You as a woman can’t just run out and easily get another top notch, successful guy to be with you. Now, I’m not talking about on average, I’m talking in this playing game. Your standards in the game are higher, so you are in a more compromising position than we are in the game. Let me go even further and describe how it can hurt you.

On average, a man looks for a woman he’s compatible with, and vice versa. But in the playing game, your age is a major determinant as a woman. I’ll give you another example, you trying to play is like the drug game. The woman is equivalent to the guy standing on the street corner while we as men are more like distributors or cartel bosses. You take on the most risk as women, and usually come out the most hurt. And in the end, that’s why women may not want to play. And if you do, have an exit strategy. Because two people can be hurt in the game, but more often it’s you because your standards are higher. We can marry the first thing we see, you generally don’t live by that same creed.


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LEVELS: WHAT IS THE REAL MEANING OF A LEAGUE IN DATING

bedroom, couple, date

“Is your league a real league?”


When you’re young, you ever hear someone say that you should date in your league? But once you start to get older, you realize that a lot of the leagues you thought were real leagues are not leagues at all. And that is when you are able to navigate around the a lot of the loud noise that you can’t date someone that society says you are not supposed to date. But what is it? What are real leagues? Because when you are young the league is based around what clothing you’re wearing. Or better yet, how physically attractive you are; from your body type to your facial region. You are also determined by how up to date you are on the latest gadget everyone owns. But then you age and realize the true meaning of a league. And that’s when your mind starts to really open up. So why don’t you see that at your young age?

The reason you don’t know what a league is, is because there is to some degree a lack of self-awareness you have when you are coming through your teens and even your twenties. You’re also not as well traversed about the world around you. A league is much more important than just the article of clothing and your body type, it’s how far you’ve come in life thus far. Where are you in relation to most males and females your age. Now this can be difficult because we all have our individual journeys. But you should still be making some type of stride in the direction you want to head in, in life. And if you are making the appropriate adjustments to being where you want to be, then you are allowed to have a league. And who are those people not allowed to have a league?

Well, the men and women who live at home with their parents, yet they demand that the person they date have their lives together. A woman who works a part-time job who demands her man has a substantial means of income; and man who lacks ambition wanting to not have a woman sitting around doing nothing. We seem to think that we’re all being rational in our relationship pursuits, until you ask the question, where are you in life. When you look over your life so far, are you proud to say that you are where you want to be? And a lot of people can’t say that. So if you are satisfied, then you are of the bunch that are on a collision course with greatness. And that my friend is the definition of a league. Asking for the things in life that you are willing to push for and/or have already that you expect from someone else.

In the end, we look on television, inside of a magazine, or browsing the internet. We look at certain people having a certain lifestyle and we say that is what I want. But instead of saying I will build it myself, or meet someone and we can build each other to that point, we want someone else to give us something. But we come into the situation with nothing, acting as if it is something, and that is our basis for a foundation. Then time pass, and you realize your league was a non-league. Now you must play catch-up in life before you get left behind. And hopefully you have not wasted too much time and you can rebound.


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DATING ALLEGATIONS: WOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU ABOUT A CHEATING PARTNER

Image result for CHEATING

“To talk or not to talk.”


Having a friend in a relationship can be a new adjustment if you guys have both been single for so long. Now this new person comes in the mix and everything is different. But that is not the topic of today; the topic of today is sharing information with your friend regarding their significant other. What if you had proof that your friend’s significant other was talking to someone else on the side? Would you inform your friend that this person was out talking to someone else? Or would you keep the information to yourself? Telling your friend could mean an argument depending on how they felt about the person. But keeping it a secret could mean jeopardizing the friendship as well.

Let’s observe the outcomes of telling your friend. See, if you tell your friend it could go a few ways. The first is that your friend is proud that you would bring the information to them. Allowing them the access into what is going on behind their backs is really important. But there is another outcome from telling them. That is that they might lash out at you for telling them. You don’t know how they feel and it could backfire ending a friendship. So, so many people tend to not say anything and leave the situation alone. But even that has repercussions to it. What are the repercussions for not telling your friend about their significant other?

That’s right, there is the other side of the coin. And that is not telling your friend what happened. This could have its own set of problems by not speaking. Because once your friend finds out what happened and you knew, now what comes of the friendship. When they found out you know, it will put a serious damper on the relationship. Especially if you are their best friend, they expect you to say something before anyone says something. So then if they are mad for you not saying anything, and mad for you saying anything, then what? And it all boils down to the friendship that you and this other person have together.

In the end, friends usually have an understanding whether they would want someone to say something. If you don’t have an understanding with your friend, then it can go good or bad. With no communication, it can go in any direction.



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