Person Signing Paper

“Give me some money.”

the big bucks

In my lifetime I have heard of some pretty major contracts to play professional sports. Kobe Bryant signing his $126 million contract, Floyd Mayweather, Tiger Woods, and Formula One driver Michael Shumacher all earning $100 million in a year, David Beckham coming to play soccer for Los Angeles Galaxy for $50 million per year, and who could forget Alex Rodriguez contracts with the Texas Rangers, $252 million and the Yankees, $275 million. But my question is how will the contracts change over time. Because athletes are actually underpaid if you look relative to what they make the brands they represent. Meaning the average American is paid a percentage of their value to their organization. If athletes were paid their percent there would already be $500 million if not $1 billion contracts.

if not for the past

Believe it or not, Michael Jordan’s biggest contract was about $30 million when he played in the NBA. Which at the time was big money, but since then guys are making that in a year. But the past players were the legends of the game who paved the way, some of which are broke today. Why, well some made poor financial decisions, and others didn’t make the big money guys make today. As a matter of fact, when you go back to the 1960’s and 1970’s, a lot of known players had side jobs to make ends meet. And receiving a $250,000 contract was big money at the time.

endorsements are king

The endorsements is where the big dollars are in sports. Getting a contract is fine and all, but the business partnerships these men make are staggering. Most of the big names in sports are with either Nike or ADIDAS. And then you have the guys like Stephen Curry with Under Armour. But making money through brands outside the sport is how you can make money like Tiger Woods $100 million a year at his height with Nike. He’s not making that golfing, but Nike has the finances to pay. Why, well there is no real salary cap for athletes with endorsements. So in all, you will see contracts grow because a $100 million contract is becoming normal in today’s society. It’s only a matter of time before we see $500 million.

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“Signed and sealed.”

Ever get the feeling that you signed up for a relationship that is not winding-up like you thought it would pan out. You met this person one way and they switched up on you the moment the relationship started. When you first met them, whatever you loved about them changed. You feel like you’ve been robbed and cheated of something you were promised. It’s like someone buying you a gift for Christmas with beautiful wrapping paper, then the box was empty inside. Imagine the frustration at receiving an empty Christmas gift. In the beginning, you both gave each other a sheet of paper to sign. This was a contract, and you were supposed to hold up your end of the bargain. But after a while the contract was forgotten about and shelved. Now the person is in breach of contract for the breaking the rules of the document.

For so many who experience the break in contract, you feel cheated like I said prior. I hear everyone put their best foot forward, but come on. We are all on our best behavior, but you’re talking the person completely changed their entire identity. That is not putting your best foot forward, that is lying and portraying yourself to be something that is absolutely nothing of who you really are in a relationship. So what do you do if you’re experiencing the change up in contract? If you’re dating, you can easily end the relationship, but not in marriage. In marriage, you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get yourself out of, even if you tried. So, with any contract that you can’t break, you have to hopefully pray that the other person breaks before you do. And if someone doesn’t break, you’r stuck in a partnership you can’t afford to leave.

And why do people switch up the contract, it’s either because they lied about who they are, or they can’t keep up the persona that they introduced to you. The lying exist because these people are miserable and want someone to revel in their misery as a couple. But for the most part, people have a hard time maintaining the person they say they were in the contract. And whatever made you desired is lost because that desirable thing you had was intricate to the contract. So the desire becomes lost; but what’s funny is that the desire can come back. Yet most people give up after a while and the contract is null and void once there was a initial breach in the beginning. (PERSONAL WEBSITE) (FAN PAGE)   

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bible, book, golden ring

“No going to, yet really want to.”

Growing up, I was raised by a single parent, yet I went to school with people who were in two parent households. My community, just like my home life was made of single parents. And there are so many viewpoints as it pertains to why this exist. Views that extend itself to social responsibility, all the way to people who would rather be co-parents than a spouse. But why would someone choose to be a parent yet exclude the spousal aspect out of the relationship? Could it be the social responsibility, or maybe something else. Maybe it’s this ingrained fear that we have in society. The fear of not only rising to the occasion, but something else.

Could it be that people have this fear of putting all their hard work into something and it not working out. No one wants to put twenty plus years into a relationship and then end it. That is a large chunk of your life that is gone. You could have easily focused on your own life, and been in another space and time. People don’t want to live with that regret of wasting their lives. Because can you imagine living until the end of your life, then realizing it meant nothing. That is a tough pill to swallow, a pill which most can’t take in. So, what do so many people do, they stay single. And choose to be a co-parent with someone else. But are there other aspects of why people don’t marry.

Another aspect is that they might not have been raised in an environment where marriage is this important feat to attain. Why get married when you might be raised to focus on you and your future endeavors. Marriage is such hard work and whose to say it will last anyways. I mean, the divorce rates are so high after only a short period of time anyways. So, those that refrain from marriage could have people around them, mainly in their families keeping them from jumping the broom. Not everyone is raised with the same set of values. So what you want is not necessarily what someone else was raised to want out of life. But, I can still name another reason why people have this fear of commitment. And it has to do with infidelity.

No man nor woman want to put all their time and energy into someone and fear being betrayed by the other person. You are playing your part, yet they have another life outside the relationship. So that vulnerability in the relationship make most second guess. And what’s interesting, you would think that this is a sentiment of most women. Yet there are a lot of men who feel this same way. Only men are raised or pretend to be stoic, so they don’t come off as too emotional regarding the matter. So at times, we’ll make up excuses as to why we don’t want to commit. In reality we don’t want to deal with the hurt. Because as tough as we act, we are just as sensitive as women at times.

In the end, marriage is a topic that most don’t want to discuss. And the reason because it’s so final. The finality of this for life, and it’s the only finality that exist in a human’s life outside of death. Then again, on a biological level, it’s not the most natural way to live. Yet more so a human construct to keep families together and keep down confusion. And for the most part it works, but as much as it works, you’ll always have the demographic that disagree regarding the union. 

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“Disrespecting the flag; there has to be more to the hate.”

It has been nearly six months since the end of the 2016 NFL season and quarterback Colin Kaepernick is still without a job. For those who are unaware of Colin Kaepernick, he is an NFL quarterback who last played for the San Francisco 49ers. Colin received adulation from many as he aided in rallying his team to the NFL Super Bowl back in 2013. Although they lost against the Baltimore Ravens 34 – 31, Kaepernick saw himself becoming a prospect among top NFL quarterbacks. But last season in 2016, Kaepernick refused to stand for the national anthem sighting he was protesting police brutality against minorities. He stated he could not stand and pledge to a flag, which represented freedom while innocent Black men were being killed by cops.

It immediately sent people into a rage. He was receiving everything from hate mail from fans to sportscasters attacking him. But my question is, “Are people really this patriotic?” Because as I walk the streets on a daily basis, I see plenty of opportunities to be patriotic, but people don’t. You walk through the mall and see military recruitment offices. With how patriotic people are being, you would think that recruitment offices are packed. They are not, as a matter of fact, they are having a hard time recruiting in military. Why in a nation where a president just said we need a stronger military is there limited military enrollment. Because no one want to risk their child going into battle over something they may not agree with.

So why not just be honest about how we really feel. Memorial Day was yesterday and we all had flags flying. Gave discounts on food at restaurants, and some people even shook the hands of troops. But on a daily we don’t live that way. So once again, where does the real sentiment over Colin Kaepernick come from in America? I’m sure there is a demographic of people who take issue with Kaepernick, but what is the real reason? To me, I have two positions on why people take issue with Colin. The first is a racial aspect and the other financial.

The reason I say racial is because outspoken Black males have been an issue with a lot of people throughout history. Jim Brown was criticized in the past and now Kaepernick. And it not only is in sports, it extends itself to all sorts of American life. I wonder would the same outcry of emotion come when it’s a popular White player. I have a theory and my theory is such. I feel people want to say, “You shouldn’t even be in your position.” “Be lucky you’re there because if not for sports you probably wouldn’t be doing nothing with your lives.” “I’m sick of Black people talking, shut up do what I say, and leave it at that.” Patriotism is real, but it’s not this real in America. How about another reason to be angry?

That other reason could be financial in America. We are living in society where so many people are stressed from not having their money right. Now this millionaire athlete they feel is complaining, so they are fighting back. I come from the Midwest, and plenty of people are barely surviving. So they are bringing their own financial woes into the equation. To them, they don’t know one moment to the next if they will survive or not, so they need a reason to be upset. A lot of people angry don’t watch football, or don’t even watch the team that Colin plays for in the NFL. So it’s just another aspect of America that gives people the reason to be angry.

In the end, people may have a legitimate reason for not liking what he did, but the level of disdain is not real. It’s not real because we are not this patriotic on this level in our daily society. If it were reflective in our daily lives I wouldn’t mind. But we are also very selective in our fights. We are for what people believe as long as it is for something we like in life. Good is good if it’s good for me. But at this point, I don’t see Colin on a team anytime soon. For now he is in limbo and only time will tell. 

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“Success comes from mental strategy, not verbal emotion.”

Over the recent months there have been a man in the news whose son is a potential NBA draft pick. His name is Lavar Ball, and his UCLA collegiate basketball playing son is Lonzo Ball.  Lavar has been in the news lately surrounding his parenting style with his sons as well as his business dealings in their lives. Now, I have written about Lavar in the past, and I commend him on his parenting. As a matter a fact I think that most boys, especially young Black boys in inner cities across America could use a Lavar as a father. People say that his sons fear him. Good, a respectable fear of their father. A man preparing them for the world.

My issue is not his parenting, I have an issue with the branding of his son. And it’s not what you think as it pertains to making his son a brand. It has to do with giving too much of yourself away. You give too much to people who are actually in a position to stifle you, before you can actually attempt. How so you might ask? Well, for starters, Lonzo is not a boxer, Lonzo is not a tennis player, and Lonzo is not a golfer. He will be on a team and not a singular athlete. He need to come into the environment, scope out the landscape and then make decisions for business. If anything Lavar should try to encourage his son to hold off on endorsements. And they should be strategist behind closed doors.

Another reason Lavar might want to fall back a little. It has to do with the idea that just because we draft him, don’t mean we have to play him. Your son will be made an example of, which could effect the Big Baller Brand. You as his father want him to play, you lie in the cut and observe the landscape. Then mentor him on what you’re seeing and what moves to make off the court. Lavar is making himself and his intentions way too obvious. You’re giving people who may not want to see you succeed, too many of your golden nuggets. Now, he may not see it as that, but there are ways to keep you from becoming the star on the court. Because if he kills in basketball, then the shoes will sell. But if he is not allowed to play, then he can’t kill, and ultimately the shoes don’t sell and bye bye to Big Baller Brand.

Now you must have a little more strategy. Some People might take that as me bowing down to the system. But it’s not about bowing down, it’s about like I said before; not making yourself obvious. Because if you are telling people your platform before you get the platform, they will systematically stop you from having the platform. So what do you have to do? You have to come in, look around, peep out how things move. See the people who are the movers and shakers. Then manipulate it to work for you and your son. Then you hit with the Big Baller Brand. There are steps to take to be the great thing you aspire to become. But understand, that in order for you to rise, you have to take shares from someone or another entity. So, be ready for the backlash.

In the end, you have to not make yourself or your intentions appear obvious. Lie in the cut, then hit them with the Big Baller Brand. People will feel you not only deserve it, but are willing to patronize. It’s unfair, but America and the world at large is about perception. Perception in business can typically be greater than reality. So play into the perception, with the real intentions. Meaning, Lavar should say, “My son and I have come to a mutual agreement that he won’t be pursuing an endorsement at this moment.” “We’re going to let him come in, feel the game, and go from there.” “We are open to partnerships/joint ventures, but first I want to see how he performs at the next level.” All the while, you’re building the Big Baller Brand from ground level. This way when he hit, you hit on the business side; thus also setting your next two sons who are currently in high school up for greatness via their brother’s platform. 

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“It’s either I do, or I won’t continue.”

Women have always sought out to be wives. Even as young girls they are raised to find themselves a husband. They’re taught that you’re short changing yourself by settling for dating. But the things that women want pertaining to marriage are basic. So basic, do you really need marriage. Or was marriage designed and asked for, for different reasons other than the love. Because love is something you have which brought you to the marriage. There isn’t anymore, the love you have is the love you have. You’re not biologically this new person after you marry that you weren’t when you were not married. So what is it that you become? Can’t be about responsibility because you must be responsible prior to the marriage.

Marriage is the paperwork, not the love. What do I mean by the paperwork? Well, let’s first look at what marriage is in the first place. Marriage is the contractual obligation of bringing together of finances to assess if the relationship will last for the long term. Meaning, laying claims to assets in the case the relationship does not pan out. Which is a huge indicator into why women so desperately want to marry instead of dating. Women say it’s love or in the eyes of God, but it’s really in the event something happens to the man she can continue to live after he is gone. Now when I say live I don’t mean she is unemployed and he is the breadwinner. Even if she has a career along with him, her one income can not sustain the life of both when he was alive.

All of this makes sense considering woman would have to go through someone else if the man gets sick or dies. And what do I mean by going through someone else. I mean that if you and a man are not married you not considered in a lot of places next of kin; especially if he has siblings and/or parents alive. You may be put into a situation that they are able to dictate to you in the event something happens to him. You’re concerned with moving forward, while they are more concerned with a new man replacing their son or sibling. It could actually wind-up stalling your further progress in your own life.

So in the end, why don’t women just say what the real reason they want marriage is for; shame, that’s why. We shame women in society for being real in their intentions. We call them gold diggers for expressing what they want to marry for, a comfortable lifestyle. So they say love and compassion, yet you don’t need to marry for those reasons. We stigmatize them so much that they must now recontextualize what they want to fit into our male dynamics to make us happy. It’s why women make excuses of, “He may not have this and this, but he has this.” They lie about what they want because they don’t want to be judged on the truth. Yet they negatively effect our lives by manifesting what they lie about because they feel a moral obligation to please us in a male dominated environment.


Image result for prenup

“I love you, but can you sign something for me?”

How do you go about bringing this up to a spouse? “So sweetie, you I know love and want to spend the rest of my life with you.” “But before we go any further do you mind looking over some paperwork with me?” She replies, “Sure what is it a marital license, the mortgage for our new home, the will..” Then you interject, “No, the prenup (cough)! She says, “Hmm?” You say, “The prenuptial agreement.” And with a exclamatory reply she goes, “Prenup, what the hell for!”

GULP! What is the right way to introduce this into a relationship? How in one breathe do you speak love, then the next ask for signed documentation? Documentation which will protect your assets in the case of divorce. Well first you have to ask yourself why is such a document necessary for starters. It’s necessary because of the high divorce rates, that’s why.

In the United States today, the divorce is close to 65% after only 5 years of marriage. I don’t know about you, but knowing you may have to split assets with someone you’ve only been with for 5 years seems kind of unfair. If you were married for 25 years, or 30 years, or 40 years, then yes, but 5. The reason I say 25 years or more is because at least there was a long term investment into the relationship. The 5 year plan seems like more of a business exchange than a marriage.

And that is where the prenuptial agreement comes into play. Marriage has become an in and out business today in America. Meet someone whose financially stable, get your 5 years in, and see ya later. But if you’re a man without any money, than a woman has no interest. Now if you are a man of means, this could be somewhat of concern. So is the way to protecting yourself not succeeding and striving in life. Because think about, you work all these years and someone comes and goes, “I’m not happy.”

So what, my future should now be determined on if you’re happy or not. So if I am happy and you’re not, than I have to lose in life. So now you think to yourself, what’s the purpose in working hard in life. Why push if you’re not going to be able to reap the benefits of your labor? As a man, you work so that one day you can relax and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. But if you’re only working just to one day hand it all over why work at all. Divorce has become the reason to be a total loser.

Women say that it’s not fair, fine let’s flip it. As a woman, you make $100,000 a year, would you marry a $30,000 a year man. It’s hard to do so, why because even you know as a woman that is not a business smart decision. So if you’re not willing to give up anything you worked for, why are you so ready for us to do so? A woman goes, “You need to be at my level.” But how often do you go, “I need to be on his level.” It’s easy to talk love and marriage when you have a lot less to lose.

This is why when people who make a certain amount of income wed, they need to have these discussions. But asking your wife to sign a prenup when you are a construction worker, police officer, garbage truck driver, etc. can be tough. Her reply would be, “You don’t have anything to take.” “Why sign a prenup?” Well that’s where she’s wrong. These men in these job titles are the ones who need prenups the most. If you’re athlete with $50 million and your wife gets $20 – $25 million, then you’re still good. But if you make $35,000 and your wife gets $10,000 – $15,000, you could be in trouble financially.

Which brings me to the after affects of divorce. One of the leading indicators of poverty amongst men is divorce. Conversely the leading indicator of wealth amongst women is marriage. So now you can see why a prenuptial agreement conversation can be one of much debate. It’s still the come up of a woman in America, but the lose of wealth among men. Yet, marriage is not on the decline in this country.

Maybe marriage is still going strong, well getting married at least, because people want to believe. Everyone wants to believe those numbers will change with them. Everyone goes not my husband, not my wife. We have something special with each other. We have a bond that’s bigger than money. And that’s just it. We as humans know it can be a crap shoot, but want to believe that the person in our lives would never leave. Yet year after year, the divorce cases pile on the desk of attorneys.

It’s 65% today what, 80% in the future. No matter how you look at it, marriage is still a great union, but in today’s society we have no other option at times but to treat it as it is. A union whereas two people are pooling together finances to gauge how well this relationship will work. Which dwindles down to a business contract that is an investment into our future together.