A LACK OF COMMUNICATION: WHY WE NEED TO TALK MORE

Two Women Sitting on Chairs Beside Window

“Face to face is still important.”


put your devices down

There is a problem in America today and that is we do not have face to face communication with our youth that will prepare them for the world ahead. These smart devices are making it tough for a generation to survive. Because when you step into the workforce you are going to be dealing with a lot of people face to face. So how do we get people, especially young people to place their devices to the side and make sure they are communicating face to face. Because without these key skills, you will have a very hard time succeeding in the world. And so much of who you are is predicated on what you do for a living. So where do we start to help people?

losing the ability to talk

A strong trait of mine is the ability to have an objective opinion. I also like listening and speaking to people that I philosophically disagree with, but just listening to them speak is something of importance. Recently Ellen DeGeneres was chastised by people who said she should not be speaking to former President Bush because he is of a different party. To me that is the most uneducated person or people who make those types of statements. In order to effectively communicate you have to be able to have a link of communication with those you disagree with. Especially someone like a leader of the country who you will depend upon to make decisions that will effect your life.

if the machine breaks down

Ever think what people would do if these social media platforms just started shutting down? Because you have people who solely depend on these platforms to express themselves. Now, it’s not the end of the world because we existed before it all. But it would like to see who is able to cope once it is gone. Because prior to the boom of social sites, people really only dealt with their inner circle and then they tuned out to the world. Now we have a constant cycle of news letting you know something. And the problem with this, is that it can lead to more problems than it solves. So you have to learn to disconnect at some point in order to cope in the world.


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THROUGH SIMILAR EYES: HOW WILL THE FUTURE LOOK TO MY GENERATION IN OLD AGE

Woman Standing Beside Woman on White Wooden Chair Facing Body of Water

“What will tomorrow through my eyes look like compared to them today?”


You ever wonder what the world looks like through the eyes of a person whose been on Earth a very long time? And when I say long, I mean someone who is in their 90’s or even 100 years old. My great grandmother was born near the turn of the century in the early 1900’s. And to be exact, it was 1914; so I wonder what did life look to her around the time of her getting close to 90. SheImage result for 20th century died in the year 2010, and that must have been some intense life. The politicians she witnessed take office, the multiple ways in which we communicate, the social movements, and the way technology has made leaps and bounds. So I ask of all those millennials out there like me, “What will life look like to those of us who make it to that point in life?”

Just this past week, I had the opportunity to test a VR (virtual reality) headset that someone I know designed. And just by observing through this headset, you can feel how much life is going to change once the technology is really to scale. You’ll get a chance to experience life in the past through the use of this headset. Related imageMeaning, technology will be so good that we can recreate moments of the past and live them through these innovative machines. Not just the technology, but what will the state of relationships look like by this time. If I live to 90 to 100 years old, you are going to have people who have been married for 40, 50, and 60 years who met on Tinder or some other dating site. It sounds crazy today, but will be totally fine in the future. Members of the LGBTQ community raising children and adopting will be a non-conversation point. And I will be of a generation that has experienced what we read about in books.

That means I will be old enough to have gotten a chance to vote for America’s first Black president. Which most likely by this time will have been so much of an after thought that the conversation will be archaic. I will have remembered when the White House was illuminated in the rainbow colors to mark the day when gays had the right to vote. I will remember events that took place that rocked the country such as September 11th terror attacks and even Image result for 9/11the Oklahoma City bombing which claimed the lives of so many young children. Natural disasters such as Hurricane Andrew, Katrina, and Sandy. I will be one of the last generations born in the decades known as the 1980’s and the generations born who remember the 1900’s as a century in time. I will even remember the first social media ways in which we first started to communicate. Meaning, I will be the last of the age group who remember when the internet was created for the public.

In the end, living on this planet for a long time gives you a sense of understanding about civilizations that no one else has experienced. What everyone else had to read about, you lived through and witnessed. So you will become almost like a form of entertainment for people to come and ask questions. People will also on average live longer, so there will be more centennials than any other time period. Now I can’t guarantee that I will be that age upon death, but what a time a Earth that must be to experience so much in life.


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FORCED FEELINGS: WHY WE GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY SHOULD ALREADY KNOW

Man and Woman Sitting on Sidewalk

“What is meant to be, is meant to be.”


When looking for a relationship, we all have our negotiables, and I our non-negotiables. The actions in the relationship that we will and won’t stand for from the other person. But my question to you is, is everything that we define as a negotiable and nonnegotiable, should it always be implied? Because I have heard women make statements that at times they need to imply to men to behave a certain way. But I say, why, why are you telling a grown man how he should behave in a relationship. And I have a theory as to why. But for starters, why do we have these negotiable and nonnegotiable standards?

Well, we have these standards so that the other person knows what we will and won’t stand for in the situation. But another reason we have them is to give the other person a heads up that we have a certain level of respect for ourselves. The third reason is that we also want to see how well the other person communicates what they like and dislike. I know it sounds a little trite, but communication is key. Without a clear line of communication, the relationship won’t work. So now that I have given a quick overview into why we have negotiables and nonnegotiables, what is an underlying reason for them? Meaning, what do I sense from hearing you tell someone certain things they should already know.

For example, why are you telling someone they need to respect you in a relationship. Once you reach a certain age, you should just know how to talk to someone. Now, like I said earlier, women especially feel they need to explain themselves because some guys are not respectable. But hey now, hold the phone. Why are you having to tell a grown man he has to respect you? And if so, that doesn’t sound like a good situation. The situation should be more so based around you just going with the flow, and seeing who and what he’s about. Now, I have a theory into why you might give people golden nuggets of advice.

When you meet someone that you’re attracted to, you don’t want to lose this person. So if you’re giving them golden nuggets of advice in how to treat you, then they are going to react to what you say. So if you tell a man he must respect you, he will. But to me, it sounds like forced feelings of grander. What do I mean, you won’t just let this person show their real selves because what if this person does trip up and disrespect you. Now you have to get rid of this person you like. So you tell them how to treat you, and especially a man, we’ll play off the actions. Eventually he shows his true self because the feeling of giving you respect was forced in the beginning. And you don’t want forced feelings, they should be real.

In the end, we give people information in how to treat us not just as a heads-up so they know, but we want them to stay. So we give them information in what to do and not what to do because we want them in our lives. They will play off those actions of what we want. You love Valentines Day, you’re getting roses because it means something to you. You love God, we’re going to church because I know a nonnegotiable of yours is a faith base. What you should do is remain silent. See if they’ll bring up religion on their own, or special holidays. Make them figure it our, and if they slip up, you might have to get rid of them. Not because everyone makes mistakes, but because you might be dodging a bullet that could hurt you in the long run.


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WHY WE LIE: MEN AND OUR INABILITY TO TELL WOMEN THE TRUTH

lip

“I blame us for them not knowing.”


Women have so many questions as to why men act the way we act and talk the way we talk. But what about why we refuse to be honest with women. Well, a lot of us as men are afraid to be honest because we fear the rejection. We don’t want to give women any reason to say no. So what do we do, we tell them what they want to hear so we can get what we want. But is it always that simple, an in and out exchange. Sometimes it is, and other times we do it because we flat out don’t know what to say to women.

Well, let’s break down a little more why we lie. You see, initially, we look and see a woman for the physical. It is an ecstatic attraction right off the back. Then, the next goal is sexual, while a woman is the opposite. But we can’t come out and say that, yet women know to a certain extent that’s what you want. So you start to develop relationships not just to sleep with the woman, but you’re still in the sexual mode. Yet you build the relationship nonetheless. So why? Why do you continue to build if you came for the physical situation?

We continue to build because even as sexual as we are because in all, most humans are good people. Yet we also have this natural aspect to us that makes us want more. We want to act as if we are higher than the animal kingdom, but we are the same. The reason it’s so hard for us to communicate what we are is also because we have this conscious. The animal aspect about us is tough to talk about because that feeling has been determined to be problematic and not accepted in society. Meaning, we can’t come out right and say what we really feel because we are supposed to filter that emotion and say the right things. But we know that it is a true feeling.

In the end, we have a hard time being honest because of the social construct that won’t allow you to do so.  But it also has to do with a natural aspect of us that we have a hard time communicating because it is very internal. An internal feeling that is so hard to communicate because it’s not considered acceptable. And that’s what keeps us from admitting the truth. We can be honest, but the honest feeling is considered bad. So a lot of times we keep the emotion hidden and lie our way through life. Hoping no one finds out the truth.