FAIL TO PLAN AND YOU PLAN TO FAIL: WHY YOU NEED DIRECTION FOR YOUR LIFE

 

Man Wearing Black and White Stripe Shirt Looking at White Printer Papers on the Wall

“Having a projected path.”


goals oriented

In an effort to build a sustainable career, once must plan their lives out. Does that mean your future will pan out this way, no. But the planning process will keep you on track to achieving your goals. My goals are broad because I am a storyteller. I tell a story through my writing, photography, and creative concepts. So for me, planning is very important. And if I don’t plan it is very easy to find myself in a rut. I know this because I have done things without the proper planning and it has made me feel as if I was going nowhere fast.

childish adult concepts

If you ask an adult what they truly want in this world, a lot of people cannot answer this question. They will give you broad terminology that isn’t quite direct. It’s like asking someone what they want in a relationship and they tell you, someone kind, nurturing; someone who will tend to my needs. Sounds cute when you are a teenager, but not when you are a 35 or 40 year old adult. You need a direct reason for why you are doing something or want something. You want a relationship: have an age range, ethnicity preference, religion, income status, education status, physical attraction, emotional stability. This is what matters in a relationship, so you have to know this, which is also the plans for a career. Income status, city where you want to live, how long do you plan no being a certain employment position. These are more geared questions in your life.

dreams are not goals 

There is nothing wrong with having dreams in life. But your dreams have to be realistic in scope. You can dream of being an astronaut, but thinking you’re going to just go into space at the age of 25 – 30 years old is a stretch. You have to be willing to dedicate a great deal of your life to science before you step on a ship into space. So know what it takes to get to a certain point in life. Don’t look at the chosen few that made it by this weird stroke of luck. That is far from the reality of how you become a professional in your career field.


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REFLECTION: WHY SEEING SOMEONE SUCCEED WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU IS IMPORTANT

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“They did it, so can I.”


As an African American man, I was able to witness the election our nation’s first Black President of the United States. And what transpired following was a young generation of Black males and females that became interested in politics. Whether it is aspiring to lead the nation one day, or even taking the rankings in their own communities. Seeing someone that looks like you in a position that normally people who look like you don’t hold is important. Because coincidentally enough, seeing someone that looks opposite of you is not enough to make you think you can succeed in your career field. When Democratic hopeful Hilary Clinton ran for president last year, young girls all over the country thought they would see the win of the first female president. But why, why is it so important to see you in certain places of employment succeeding?

Well, like I said prior, it has to do with not seeing someone that looks like you hold that position. I never think twice about growing up in America being a professional athlete because so many Black men are athletes. But there are other professions where we still very rarely take initiative to join. There are still very few Black male engineers, school teachers, and doctors. And come to think of it, I have seen very few even in my lifetime, professional Black men, who have held the previous employment positions. So when you don’t see it, you automatically rule it out as a potential career path. Even myself, I have ruled out so much in my lifetime because I never felt it was possible for me to do so. So what you have is a large population of men who aspire to do only a few chosen things where the odds are astronomical to succeed.

But what about gender, is it important to see a woman dominating in her field. Of course, it’s why so many young girls want to become models. It’s an industry where the women on average earn more of an income than the men. But we still don’t have enough women who are engineers, top corporate executives, and high rankings in the military. This year, even though Hilary Clinton did not win in 2016, so many females recently became mayors and council members in elections throughout the country this past election day. And with that, there is wave of younger women in their twenties who have taken to politics. Also with new tech companies popping up, it’s only a matter of time before more women start to enter this industry as well.

In the end, those who don’t understand why it’s important generally fall under the category of the norm. You’re used to seeing those that look like you in a position, so it becomes irrelevant. So you don’t need to be told or see someone because it’s a given. But until the society we live in is fully representative, you’ll always have people who look at life this way.


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YOUR VISION NOT ANYONE ELSE’S: WHY THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU

company, concept, creative

“Don’t expect them to believe in you.”


Someone I work with today was informing me that they have had enough and it was time to pursue their purpose. They were about the quite work and embark on their journey to their own personal greatness. It struck me as odd because this was a person who worked a lot, but now they were quitting. But I am embarking on my own journey, and I don’t know what road it will take me down. And that’s when it hit me, I don’t know this person’s inner workings. Maybe they feel that they have it figured out and things are finally making sense inside of their heads. The pieces are starting to come together and everything is working out for the best. But what is it about the people who don’t see your vision? They can not see you past what you are in the moment, and it takes them longer. Sometimes they never turn around, and only live to see you falter.

The reason being is that they may now have passions of their own, or they might not want to see you above them. If you are working a dead-end job and someone is above you, why would they want to see you prevail in life. They might hate their job just as much as you hate yours, but at least they have the upper hand over you. What happens when you overshoot the runaway of what they expected. Your airplane was never supposed to have made it out of the gate. But you have managed to fly off the runway and into the sky. So much so that you are cruising at altitude while they are still at the terminal watching you soar in the air. And that is when it sinks into their head that they must try to say something, anything to get you to stop working.

Because if they give you the confidence to keep pushing, then what is there out here for them. And that’s when you learn that there are people who look at life in the scope of their failures is your success. If you doing so much and they are not where you are, then what does that say about them. So they have to bring you down a few pegs. But if your life is in so much of a wrecked place, do something about it. Don’t try to bring someone else down because you have not landed on your feet. You are not where you thought you would be by now, so in an attempt to not feel alone, you want to keep them where you are in life. This also falls into the whole crabs in a barrel mentality. You are fine by me, so long as we all are stuck in this one place together. And that’s when you have to make moves to separate yourself.

Because in the end, your personal growth is your growth. It’s not up to you to help another adult figure out their stuff in life. You are responsible for your own problems. So as you pursue your dreams, don’t listen to the crowd noise. Your main goal should be to try to tape into the minds of those that love and respect your vision. You are going to always have adversaries, that’s the nature of the game. Just as long as you meet your expectations, that’s all that truly matters.


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MINDLESS MINDFRAME: HOW LEAVING YOUR SMALL TOWN MAY BE FOR THE BEST

Image result for mind

“When you think big and they think small.”


Do you come from a small city or town? Are the people where this place exist carry a certain mind frame that causes you to disconnect from them? Me myself, I come from one of these type of places. The city is a place you probably never heard of, and a population of only 78,000 people. A lot of the younger generation continues to still move away. And the population is still continuing to fall as time progress. Well, why is that? Why are the people leaving this seemingly quiet town. Well, first and foremost, the jobs have left. What was once a thriving Midwest manufacturing city has been reduced to vacant factory buildings. But another reason is because of the thought process of the people.

You probably ask, what makes it tough to live in some of these types of places. For starters, people have a hard time seeing past their current situation. To them, this is it, and there is nothing past this. And not just in a negative I am a failure way. But also in a manner where whatever is the well-known organization to work for, people flock to it like it’s working for Goldman Sachs. People walk around like this place to work for is the greatest and if you can’t get a job here, you must not be worth hiring. It’s like, “I’m a supervisor over at this place.” It’s about levels, as with anywhere else in society. Yet the level is not a real level. They are sharks in a pond, but when but in a bigger city, they become clown fish in the ocean. But what is another reason to leave your small city/town?

Another is how people look at the world as it pertains to the social landscape. I was walking down the street here in New York City, and a guy had on a baseball cap. The logo was of the Confederate Flag, and in addition he sported some sunglasses. And judging by the way he was carrying himself, he thought he was making a statement. Almost as if he wanted to say, “All these others are afraid to express themselves.” “But I’m going to be me in this overly liberal environment.” And sense the language is so sensitive, he thought people would react. Because he probably watched protest in NYC on television and figured he’d express himself. Yet no one told him on a daily basis that no one pays much attention to you. But his lack of knowledge made him look like a loser in his hat. Because he just watched TV like Fox News or CNN, and that’s how he based his perception of a liberal city.

Other reasons you have to make moves from these places is because few people have a sense of vision. People look at you and say, “No one from this small town is doing that.” And if you attempt, people will try to bring you down so you have to leave. They will be afraid of your progress surpassing them. And they think they know you because whatever family you came from as well. Kind of like, “Oh, that’s so and so’s kid.” “I been knowing his family, they up to no good, he must be as well.” So you have to go to a city where no one knows or think they know your family. This way you can start from scratch and represent yourself. And in the end, that’s the just of moving. There is a mind frame that people define as comfortable, which keeps them from growing and you as well if you stay. But lastly, don’t move elsewhere thinking your life will change. Because you have to think different yourself.


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SO SO CONCERNED: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO VESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES

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“Worrying about you is your only full-time job.”


In today’s society, the use of social media has put everyone in everyone else’s business. But why, why have we become so interested in what other people are doing. Why have we become so enamored with how others are living their lives? Part of it has to do with the nothing going on in our own lives and other aspects of it has to do with loving to get others in trouble. And that’s an interesting account of us; the getting each other in trouble. Because no matter if it’s a public figure or the average Joe. We love to catch people doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Where is all this coming from?

Well, when looking at it from the context of nothing going on in your life, that’s key. When you have goals and aspirations of your own, it’s virtually impossible to concern yourself with others. But when nothing much is going on in your own life, you have nothing but time. Because in today’s society working a 40 hour work week has become 30 – 35 hours per week. So now we have more free time than prior years. So what are you doing with that time? Are you utilizing that time to pursue anything? If not, what is your purpose in life? Just waking up to exist to the next day and then the next day is not a way to live. But for the people who have nothing but time, this is how they live their lives.

Which leads into my next reason as to why people are so concerned. They see that someone else’s life is much more interesting than their own. Because if you’re constantly working on something, your life is appealing to those that aren’t doing much of anything. For example, I am working toward a career as a filmmaker, author, and blogger. People look at that and feel your life is quite interesting. To you, it is a struggle, but to them it’s something to talk about. No matter how positive or even negative, it’s something to discuss. But a lot of times today, it’s not positive feedback, but the negative. So much negativity is leant out to those who are in what people who perceive as a better position.

An example would be the Kardashian-Jenner sisters. So many people have so much to say about them. Yet their lives are progressing forward and the people who hate their lives don’t change at all. You’re concerning yourself with sisters whose lives are in a position far beyond yourself. You should be working at trying to remove yourself from your bad situation. But they for some reason cannot see past what someone else has in life. What’s interesting is that the same energy placed on worrying about others should be put into your own life. Because that same energy is what that person you’re worried about is putting into their work. But you can’t make the people who hate see that for themselves.

In the end, we have become a society of voyeurs. This voyeuristic behavior has cost people jobs and relationships. Now, I don’t see it slowing down, especially with the increase in social media usage. But eventually, so many people will be snooping that finding out something about another person will be irrelevant. Worrying about other people will always render the same outcome. And that outcome will be people wasting their lives concerned with others. But if your life is heading in the right direction, you have no time to concern yourself with what others are doing.


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I GOT A DEGREE CAN YOU TRAIN ME, HUH: THE REALITY OF YOUR EDUCATION

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“Why getting a degree alone is not going to work for you.”

There is this notion that when you get your college degree it supposed to be this magic bullet that will get you a job. This is a big mistake because there a key aspect of college that people don’t understand. College does not count as job training nor does it count as work experience. Let me say that again, college does not count as job training nor does it count as work experience. The reason why I reiterate this statement is because too often people think that the two are linked (college degree and getting a job). What gets you a job is work experience, not a college degree. Your degree sets as a form of ecstatic for your career.

Well, think of it this way. Think about it like baking a cake. The cake is your career, but the degree is the frosting. All the ingredients that go into making the cake has nothing to do with the degree. The ingredients, all the way to the baking of the cake, has to do with what you bring to your life. Once you get the degree, the next day, you’re not this awe-inspiring person. No, you graduate Sunday, and whatever job you have you go back to on Monday. But the hunt may still go on for something better.

The problem grads run in to is that they say they need training. But the training is suppose to come from you. The qualifications for a career should be attained by you. Why because there is a difference between a good paying job and high paying career. Jobs give you training, but they are generally low pay and long hours. A career is most often higher pay, may or may not be long hours depending on the employment. But even if it is long, it is a choice. Which is what this thing called life is all about, choices.

We all have these dreams that are big, but don’t quite know how to attain them. Well, you have to start off small. You want to be a leading surgeon, you’re going to start in a small residency roll like everyone else. But the difference between a leading surgeon and everyone else is initiative. Everyone else will do what is required of them to do their job. The leading surgeon is going up and beyond. Whether it is becoming a contributor to medical journal or giving lectures on medical findings. And that is what they don’t teach you in school. It is your job to take on your career.

Yes, you may get connections, hell even a mentor or two. But even your mentor will only meet with you once or twice every six months or so. Why because they are busy making their living. You have to throw yourself into society. But the best thing about life, there is no right way to go about it. No one has a manual for how to take on your career because a degree alone is not enough. Making connections to people is not enough. You need degree, connections, love for what you do, and the know how for what you do.

In the end the biggest most important aspect of leaving college with your degree is the know. Putting yourself in the know can help a lot. No matter what your economic situation. If you are willing to put yourself in the know, you can elevate yourself; even out of poverty. Those who don’t will generally stay in their position both mentally and financially. Be willing to learn, but also be willing to work. But in time, also learn to embrace failure because it will happen. But the best people are those who are resilient and are able to bounce back from failure.

GIFTS: How So Many Of Us Miss Our Calling

“What is your purpose?”

Gifts, we all have them, but not the one, one receives on holidays. I’m talking about the gift given to you in life. Some people spend their entire lives not utilizing their gifts. Whether its because of a personal fear or our outside influences. Having a gift and not using it is not only robbing yourself but others of great opportunities. Well, what opportunities?

What about the knowledge that is not used. You know how many Albert Einsteins have been born since Einstein, yet never attempted to engage in anything remotely scientific. Imagine where this country could be scientifically. Or better yet, there is a Steve Jobs working a nine to five that he/she hates. For whatever reason they refuse to attempt at using that gift. Imagine where we could also be technologically. Steve Jobs believed that those feel they can change the world most often do change the world.

And sometimes it’s not all math and science. Look at Martin Luther King Jr. What if he was not interested in human rights? What if Michael Jordan had not have picked up a basketball? You see, a gift is something precious. I can’t fully explain it in words. But it’s this feeling that I have to do this in life. It’s my duty, my calling. Initially, its hard for people to see, but in time they will. It’s hard to get people to see what thy can’t see. Why is that? What’s it about your gift, that people can’t initially see? Well, the problem is that its not a gift to others, but your vision. Telling people your calling is this vague existence. You say, to people, you go, “I have a calling to be a humanitarian.” People say, “Quiet, go get a day job.” Now at this stage you have a choice. Should you take this advice? Or, should you pursue your interest?

This is a tough stage, go through with the gift or quite. Now, in my opinion, I say go for the gusto. Because when the lights go out they’re out forever. You only get one at bat, make it count. That’s the inspirational words, but what about the reality. What about not achieving your goal. How many people can live with not reaching that point where others can see the gift? What a painful feeling to be working so hard just to be let down in the end. But see to me, it’s worth it. Go for it all even in the face of failure. Because I can live with failure, but what I can’t live with is not trying at all.