THE SENSITIVITY THAT IS US: WHERE DOES THE FEELING OF AN ALLEGED RACIAL INTERACTION COME FROM

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“I feel this way and don’t even know why.”


Walking up the street, a White woman grabs her purse as I walk by; I instantly go into a space. A White man or woman tell me I look like someone they’ve seen before, then I go into a space. I am walking through the store, a White man or woman is following close by, I go into a space. And that is that; what is it about the United States that still makes me go into this head space of, “Did they just do hat because I am.” And it has a lot to do with this unspoken relationship that the two ethnic groups still have in America. An event takes place that we both witnessed before our very eyes, and yet we have multiple perspectives. Now, this already happens with humans as it is, but we are two groups that see things so differently.

I remember when former NFL running back O.J. Simpson was found not guilty of murdering his wife and her friend. The faces of White America went straight to shock while the faces of Black America went to rejoice. But this is not something that was agreed upon by the two groups. This was automatic, and it was swift. Neither of the two groups sat down among each other or separate and had a meeting. There was nothing of the like; everyone just knew how to react when it happened. I was only in elementary school when it happened and I remember the faces. Teacher at my school were enraged, and the people in the surrounding community where I lived was happy. And what formulated out of all this was one man’s life dictated forever and two innocent people dead. And that is the weird and uncomfortable relationship that is Black and White in America.

We all know the history, but this goes deeper than the past. It’s so disturbing how it effects you internally when you come across someone from another group. I’ve even asked myself like, “Wow, where in the hell did that come from?” Me speaking to myself, then you stop yourself in your tracks. But people who are unfamiliar might say, “Well why feel that way?” And reply is that I don’t. It’s as involuntary as sneezing. Meaning a situation can easily go from zero to sixty where the processing of what is going on takes place after the fact. I, still to this day have a hard time making eye contact for instance with a lot of law enforcement as t pertains to that weird racial dynamic. It’s almost as if the person doesn’t exist, until the person is no longer in my presence. Because in the end, the relationships are uncomfortable because no one expresses how they truly feel to move forward. America is an ignore it and it will go away country. Which is not how it should be dealt moving forward.


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DYING SENTIMENT OR THRIVING HATRED: HOW MUCH OF MY ETHNICITY REALLY PLAYS A ROLE IN MY SUCCESS

“Sins of the past don’t have to be the future.”


The above photo is of a woman by the name of Vivian Malone. Vivian Malone was the first African American student to register for classes at the University of Alabama as an undergraduate student. The university was racially segregated, and up to this point no had been successful in entering the school. Even the governor at the time, George Wallace, stood at the door, blocking her entry temporarily before she was allowed access inside. Now, this topic is not about Vivian Malone, this topic is in reference to how much has changed since that time period. That was back in 1963 when she was denied entry, and my mother was only 3 years old herself. Since then, a lot more students have been admitted to Alabama, and no one thinks twice about Black children attending. But we still have conflicts in America today, as exemplified in Virginia a few weeks ago.

So my question is, how much does my ethnicity even in today’s society contribute to my success. Because I see so many men and women that look like myself that are successful, but then you see what has been going on in the country today. There are marches for White Supremacy in America, yet there are counter protest on the other side. And the counter protest are bigger than the supremacy groups. So yes, racism does exist, but on what scale. I have experienced it in life and still do. But what role does it and will it play in future success? A lot of the sentiment, I am not concerned with at this point in America. Because if you don’t like me by this time, then you never will. My only obligation is working to succeed how I want to succeed. I’m not in this world to convince everyone to love me, that’s not practical.

Yet, you have to deal with these types of people. I was reading somewhere that only 10% of the American population are supporters of these Neo-Nazi groups. Now, looking at this from a percentage basis we say, “10% is not a lot of people. But the American population is close to 320 million people. With 10% of these people following hate groups, 30 million people are a lot of people. But see, I am not trying to win those individuals over. I know they have and never will like me. My goal is I don’t want to have to come into contact with them. Yet when you see the Virginia march with tiki torches, you say to yourself, some of these guys were professors and even worked in the medical field. It creeps me out that some of these people could be my doctors. Black men already have and adverse feeling when looking at doctors.

Yet, in the end, I still look at my life with hope. Though in the back of my mind, the thought never leaves. When I come across someone and have what I perceive to be a racial experience, and I say to myself, “Did they because; nah, maybe not.” Nonetheless, I am hopeful; for my future and the country. We like to look in the past and say that people were so awful. But I think there were just as many good people today as in the past. It’s just that we all excepted life as what it was then. And the more we pushed against the grain, the more we look back and say, “You know, this wasn’t ok at that time.” For me, I look at photos of separate water fountains that said, “White Only and Colored Only.” It seems weird to look at, but for older people in my family that was life at one point in time. I feel life is changing, it’s just in real time we don’t see it. We never see life while in the paradigm of living it; humanity never will. Only when you look back over time we become convinced of the changes.


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A LOSING GROUP, OR SOMETHING LIKE IT: WHAT HAVE THE WHITE POPULATION REALLY LOST?

Image result for tiki torch march

“Seems more about control than identity.”


White Nationalist, Neo-Nazi, KKK, Alt-Right, skinheads; whatever you want to call them. There have been this idea that the White population is losing out here in America. Do I personally believe the hype when I look at the social, economic, political, and educational gaps, no. But I am a man who looks at things in life from a very practical stance. So in order for me to argue against the point of what a White man has lost, let’s look at the perspective of the man upset. This is where there is this uncomfortable feeling because I know it’s ridiculous. The White man’s unfair history in America, but nonetheless, I am taking a firm observation of what could be seen as lost. So, here goes nothing.

The United States gained its Independence from Great Britain in 1776, and the Constitution was drafted up in 1788. During this entire time, the men who sat around the table making the decisions for the future direction of the country were all White males. The Declaration and the Constitution were supposed to be affirmation that this land belonged to the American Whites, well those in a much higher position, and everyone else would be taking the lead of them. United States Declaration of Independence.jpgSo with the ending of slavery in 1865, which was a result of Abraham Lincoln signing the Emancipation Proclamation, there was now a new shift in America. Now, these men and women who were once property, were now in a position to work, vote, and attain education. A move that a lot of White men and women deemed a setback to their own progress.

You might ask, how so? Well, even the poorest of White men and women still had the upper hand over Black people during that time in America. This was not done to make them feel this was their country, it was done to keep a tightly knit system together. Those White Image result for jim crowmen and women making decisions didn’t care about the poorest of White people just as much as they didn’t care about Black people. Yet, in keeping with that tightly knit system, Jim Crow came out of slavery ending. Now what’s interesting, is that outside of the South, a lot of people never really knew the lengths to which Jim Crow had a certain fear instilled in a group of people. But nonetheless, it allowed even the poorest and uneducated White men and women a position over their Black counterparts.

Jim Crow held on for nearly 100 years until Black people felt pushed to a point of nothing to lose. The Civil Rights Movement had started earlier, but the height of the movement during the 1950’s and 1960’s saw a threat once again to that White establishment of control. Related imageNow don’t get me wrong, there were quite a few White men and women who fought with the movement and some even died themselves. Yet there was still a loud voice coming from the White community regarding ending Jim Crow. Jim Crow eventually ended, yet the fight did not and has not stopped. Which leads us until today. Now there are these conversations again from White men and women on what has been lost.

Now, that I have done a brief overview of American history. Here is what has alleged to be lost. Jobs are being taken from Whites. Wrong, corporations have removed these jobs and taken them overseas to save pennies, by other White men and women in power. Education is being high-jacked from White men and women. Wrong, as a matter of fact the Black community are constantly pushing ways to get more of our children to go to school each year. Foreigners are being accepted into top Ivy League schools, but not pushing out Whites. More so being accepted by predominantly White institutions by White people. Well, what about voices not being heard. Well, yet again not true. When Trump won, there was a large population of White conservatives who voted not just him, but a whole system of White right leaning men.

And that’s what brings me to the real aspect of what could be lost. See, former president Barack H. Obama lead this nation for 8 years. People say he caused this mass hysteria, but not true. See, the relationship Image result for barack obamabetween Black and White in America has been one of a dog owner and dog. We love our dogs because they obey us. We give them a treat and they roll over and perform tricks. That’s until dogs start to demand the same treatment as the owner. Now the owner remembers a time when you had to roll over and fetch treats. And that feeling is now gone and being lost. Because White people still lead the pack in wealth, education, politics, and the list goes on. But what is a feeling of going away is control, and to add to it, competition.

And in the end, that is the fear that is slowly being exposed. See, America created this superiority mind frame in a group of people. And superiority is not only a supreme view of self, but ultimate control over someone or groups of people. And when the command is not followed, there must be punishment. Yet the underlying issue with the word superior, is the control factor. People don’t aim at trying to control dogs because we are more superior than the dog. A dog can’t build a nuke, a dog can’t shoot a gun, or fist fight. So we have nothing to fear, let them run wild because a cute little treat will calm them. But when a group is made to feel superior and that construct is broken down they feel worthless. Which is why this ideology of an all White America is actually ridiculous. Because superiority extends itself to control and commands. Without a minority group serving as a buffer in the middle, slowly but surely that control and command turns on itself. America has created a problem for itself, and will just have to deal with the fact that a psychological ugliness was designed to control, not just minorities, but White people as well.


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LOSING EVERYTHING FOR NOTHING: WHY ARE PEOPLE SACRIFICING THEIR ALL FOR AMERICA’S CURRENT CLIMATE

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“Long after Trump is gone, you will be hurting.”


Protesting, fighting, arguing! All of this in fighting over the election of President Donald J. Trump. People are at odds with each other, and even families & friends have become fragmented as a result. And for what, over a man who is a billionaire that won’t be effected by any of this when he leaves the White House. Long after Trump have left the White House people are going as far as sacrificing their freedom over this election. And what’s sad is that it still won’t change anything. America will continue on as usual, status quo in place, and the move forward will commence. Meaning, from the guy who drove his car into the crowd of people in Charlottesville, Virginia to the counter protesters backlash.

Those involved might look back and go, what the hell was all this about. The guy who drove his car into a crowd will go to prison, and his life is over. A new administration will come and go, and your life is done. The guys carrying the torches at the University of Virginia campus who lost their jobs, how will you pay your bills. To the counter protesters fighting back and getting arrested, I hope you all know what you’re doing. I’m not saying not to push back against things you feel are infringing on your rights, but is it a righteous fight. During the Civil Rights movement, you had no choice but to be involved because there were major human rights violations. But today, issues exist, but we are fighting for the most part because we disagree with people’s stance, not an infringing of rights.

And like I said before, this administration will blow over, while all these people and their relationships are ruined. People feel so strongly about their political views because they want to feel like their voices mean something. And in reality, the American government’s job is to find ways to move forward. Moving forward meaning, aimed at trying to be one of the leaders in this new technological era. Yet people are more focused on their historical sentiments from the 1700’s, 1800’s, and 1900’s. Crazy thing is that the top one percent could care less about Trump and his followers ideology, as well Trump adversaries. Because while people focus on things that will blow over, the other portion of people focused on this new game will advance. And what will happen inevitably from those not focused?

In the end, fighting will calm and questions will be asked as to how others manage to gain their positions. It’s like the old saying, “When there’s blood in the street buy property.” And that is the truth because people in the know are looking for capital gains. They are financially empowering themselves while others fight. So when the blood is done being spilled, the fighters will be worst off than before, and the wealthy will be at an even higher level than before.


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WHY WE FIGHT: WHY SO MUCH RACIAL TENSION IN AMERICA LATELY

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“Why we fight.”


This past weekend, there was yet more race related tension in America. This time
Related imageit was a clash between Neo-Nazi and White Nationalist versus protesters on the other side pushing back against the Nationalists. The main site was Charlottesville, Virginia, where Nationalist were opposed to the removal of a Confederate statue of former leader Robert E. Lee. Another separate site of tension was at the University of Virginia’s campus, where a large group gathered with Related imagetorches. These were also people who were in alignment with the White Nationalists in Charlottesville. And both sights were places of not only verbal tension, but physical altercations took place resulting in dozens injured and three people killed. And even with the president making a statement regarding the matter, it still didn’t calm anything down.

Today, on this Monday morning, we now have reports all over news outlets, which will be covering these two incidents. Conversations will be taking place over the days, weeks, and even months regarding where do we go from here as a country. My last post I was asking the question about a possible secession from the Image result for charlottesville tensionUnited States by the South. And if this were to happen, the economic implications of a country could be gravely impacting. But me personally, I don’t see that taking place. What I do see is more and more of a racial divide. And I have theories as to why the divide is taking hold, as well as why you aren’t seeing more Black people involved in the fight as you might have expected to see.

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Average American expected to look like by 2050

Here is a theory of mine as to why America is having all these problems with racial tension. See, the total percentage of White people in America is 65%, while everyone else falls into the group that is the 35% (Black people 12%, Hispanic/Latinos 14%, East Asians and other is 9%. And as time progresses, the numbers will fall for Whites and increase for everyone else. Meaning, White Americans will become the minority in the United States. But to who? Black people were only 10% of the population in 1950. And by the year 2050 we’re only projected to be 15-16% of America. So this is a Black issue, yet as an entirety it is not. White Nationalists have an issue with an influx of immigrants to the country.

The numbers of Hispanics will climb as well as East Asians, who by the year 2050
will have almost if not fully surpassed Black people in America. So America is becoming what I call, “Hispasia” or “Latasia.” The prevailing Hispanic/Latino population and the growing East Asian population as well. Who, what Nationalist feel, pose a threat to the natural order of America because they feel with a new group in control the narrative could be rewritten. So through all this fighting I say to myself, where are Black people? Because like I said before, we weren’t in Virginia at either of the sites. So how do we fair out through all of this? And what I have been hearing is not what you might think.

I have been hearing Black people aligning themselves with some of the same Image result for black nationalismthought processes as the Nationalists. But our sentiment is on the opposite spectrum in regards to our own economic growth. I’ve been hearing that maybe we should form our own unions, and erect statues of our own heroes as well. You might ask why, why would we speak of the same sentiment. Because when you have seen the same imagery, the same song, played over and over again, you get tired. And some of us have hit a breaking point where it’s like, “Hey, you guys want your space, we’ll give it to you.” “Anything to keep us from having to put up with your bullshit, especially with the government not responding.” Now, I don’t know if that’s the majority, but it exist.

Yet, in the end, what is to come of America? Will we see more tension, or is this the sign of things worsening because we are going through change. I don’t know, but where I stand as an African American, I have no clue regarding us. I should be more confident, yet I don’t see a positive outcome for us. Will we go deeper into the abyss of America, or will we eventually have to leave and start over elsewhere? Whatever the outcome, America is headed in a backward direction, and the push is growing by the day.


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REGIONAL SECESSION: COULD WE POSSIBLY SEE A SEPARATION OF THE STATES

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“We want what we want; you have what you want.”


The idea of The Southern states seceding from the union has popped its head up once again. There have been sentiment from the southern states about a possible hearing regarding the states removing themselves from the rest of the country. Now, will any of this take place? My best guess is no it won’t. But that’s not the main problem. The problem is that there are quit a few people behind the push. There were even similar conversations on the west coast in California because Donald Trump won the presidency. But how does this fair out in the country regarding our togetherness as a nation?  How does this look to the rest of the world?

Well, if we’re such a divided nation, God forbid an actually conflict breaks out and we have to fight. Who will be willing to put aside these petty ways for the betterment of the nation. Or will we falter from all the constant bickering. And regarding how this looks to the rest of the world; will this have an affect on who is willing to start conflict with this nation. How do we know a country won’t try to pin regions against each other by giving states rights in the case that they win the war. Sounds crazy, but so does people getting together to resurrect a party that was crushed already.

These sentiments have been appearing as well because a lot of the Confederate monuments dedicated to the leaders of the former party have been removed from sites throughout the south. And with that has come a barrage of disdain from far right groups. Groups who feel that the South shall reclaim the region as a,”White Man and Woman region.” But this is nothing new, people in the South have always had a difference of opinion, as far as the country concerns, for decades. So could it happen? Could we possibly see a break in how the country is set up? We weren’t always one big nation. A lot of land belonged to Mexico prior to the Declaration of Independence.

And that is yet another issue people in the South have regarding the wanting to secede.  The idea that Mexicans have been crossing into the United States, have risen the theory that maybe they eventually want to reclaim what was once theirs. And that thought process has come from years of disdain as well. People have ignored this sentiment, and now that it’s more problematic, everyone is concerned. But now where do you go from here? unemployment is still high in the country, no real major growth in this nation, and socially we are breaking down. What is to come of America from here on out? Only time will tell; for now, it is a waiting game.


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FAMOUS QUOTES: WHAT ARE MY FAVORITE AND WHAT THEY MEAN TO ME

Abraham Lincolcn Statue

“We hold these truths to be self-evident.” “That all men are created equal.” 

-DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE


We all have some favorite quotes and what they mean to each of us. They might be quotes that we just love to hear, or even quotes that motivate us to keep persevering. Some of those quotes could be a bible versus, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Or it can be from a literary, “I would have rather been born blind, than to have been given sight and lack vision” (Helen Keller). And with that said, I would like to present my own quotes that I love, which resonate with me. One comes from Thomas Edison, the other Marianne Williamson, and the third is Martin Luther King Jr.

Now, the first is Thomas Edison, who had many many quotes. But the quote that I recently found that Thomas Edison made was, “Many of life’s failures are people who didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” This statement is Image result for edisonalways coming into my mind every time I think about giving up in life on my writing. Writing is such a daunting task of working to succeed. You are going to have success, and you’re going to have failure along the way. But to me, I have yet to see those successes. And then I think about how long I have been writing. 2013 is the year I officially decided to become a writer. I gave myself on a ten year window to break into the industry as a screenwriter and playwright. Meanwhile I am writing my blog everyday and my books as well.

So, what does any of this have to do with Thomas Edison? Well, giving up, and not realizing how close you might have been when you gave up. I have written five full length screenplays, self-published two books, written 400 blog posts in the past two and a half years, and two short film scripts; one script turned into a short film. And still, I have been working to create other projects to keep myself in that creative mode. So if I give in now, it will have been for nothing. Not just my past four to five years, but the time put into my work. Don’t give up when you are so close. So close, if you knew how close, you might even put more time into your work. And that is why Edison’s quote screams so loud to me.

Image result for marianne williamson a return to love
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, 1992

But my second quote is from Marianne Williamson from her book, “A Return to Love.” The famous quote from the book is, “Our Deepest Fears.” “Not that we inadequate; our deepest fear is that we powerful beyond measure.” “It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.” “We look in the mirror and ask ourselves, who am I to be talented, gorgeous, fabulous; who are you not to be.” “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure when they’re around you.” “We were all meant to shine as children do.” “You were made to manifest the glory of God that is within you.” “It’s not in some of us, it’s in everyone.” “And as you let your own light shine, you will unconsciously give others permission to do the same.” “When you are liberated from your own fears.” “Your presence will automatically liberate others.”

I could not pick just one aspect of that quote, but I had to choose the entire passage. Because the first part speaks of being inadequate yet you really are afraid of your own powers. We have this fear because once you succeed, people are going to expect more, and what happens if you can’t give them more. So we fear the attempt because of the expectations that come with it. Then the passage details us questioning why us. But why not us? We as the passage says don’t want people to feel insecure around us. But you should never dumb yourself down for the sake of fitting in, or this notion your brilliance makes others uncomfortable.  You might just have a golden nugget of advice that the people need. And the quote further goes on to let people know we all have the powers to succeed. But once you let that inner you shine, it gives courage to others to step up. Why, because your willingness to not give up and fight makes them exuberate a little less fear as well. Because if you can do it, it makes them feel the same way.

Great quote, giving me an even greater sense of purpose. But there is still one more quote I love. And it was from civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. He didn’t make this a public speech, yet stated this quote among a small group of friends. He said, “I feel as if I am integrating my people into a burning building.” AsImage result for mlk a child I couldn’t understand what that meant. But as an adult, I see old footage of the time period. People wanted him dead, why. Just because he wanted people to vote, have a fair chance at jobs, eliminate Jim Crow laws (which were an extension of slavery), and send children to schools of their choice. But the backlash was often so brutal you think to yourself. “Is this worth it?” “Do I really want my family to integrate.” “Maybe segregation is best.”

Because if you want to vote and someone is willing to kill. Or willing to kill for you drinking from the same water fountain or eating in the same restaurant, should I assimilate. Because when you assimilate, you’re introducing that element into your life, to your children, and your community. It’s not everyone, yet it’s enough to make you think twice. Meaning, you might think you’re shutting me out, but you might actually be doing me a favor. Coming from a man who knew he could die for going against the grain, it was intriguing to hear a statement where even he questioned the movement. In the end, we all live by quotes, or have a love for some type of quote. But whatever the case, famous quotes have and will always be an aspect of our lives.


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