DO BETTER; BETTER THAN WHAT: DON’T LET YOUR GOAL BE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM FOR YOU

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“Build yours or someone else’s.”


We all have these visions of the life we want. And for a lot of people, the dream is real. But what happens when you attain what you want, but then someone tries to make you feel like you should be doing more. They try to convince you that your life could be so much better. But if you allow them to invade your mind, then you can’t enjoy the satisfaction of what you initially wanted. And that’s what’s important; you living the best you that you can be. But why do people get in their minds that you should be doing what they want you to do? Part of it has to do with the idea that their opinion don’t matter and they want it to matter. And the other reason is to keep you from outshining them in what you do.

People want their opinions to matter. And when their opinions don’t matter, then you have to deal with their wrath. They get irritated at what you do, and feel that you should take their advice. They want you to be what they want you to be, and work how they feel you should be working. In their mind, they say, “Why isn’t this the way I like it.” And that has to do with the idea that people want you to succeed how they feel you should succeed. And when you’re doing things your way, outside the realm of what they think, then you’re breaking the rules. And rules is what they have been told to abide by. But the other reason people try to deter you from your dream is out of fear that you may surpass them.

The outshining aspect is, to a large degree, a big reason why people want you to take their cue. It will force you to grow at their pace. And it has a lot to do with the idea that if you make it quicker than it took them, then the road they took was for nothing. With that said, you have to do your best to remove yourself from these types of people.They are toxic and mean you no good. And not to mention these people will try to make you feel like you’re being disobedient by not listening to them. They’ll come up with every reason why you should be listening to them and not yourself. In the end, be able to distinguish those that are on your side from those that want you to fail. Follow your own drum beat, and don’t worry about others. You’ll make mistakes and hit a few roadblocks along the way, but hopefully you land on your feet.


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LIFE ON HOLD: HAVE YOU HAD TO HOLD OFF ON YOUR DREAMS TO CARE FOR OTHERS

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“They had to come first.”


As a child to a single mother, I would always hear how she wanted to do so much in her life. But having children at such a young age, mixed with not having the support system she needed, she was unable to do so. Now in her 50’s, and no children to care for, she is embarking on more things she was never able to do when she was young. And that’s what brings me to the topic today. Have you ever had to put your dreams on hold for something or someone else. For my mother it was her three children, but for someone else it could be something different. We as people sacrifice so much of ourselves in the name of helping other people. A move which I do not plan on doing in my life because it derailed so much of what my own mother wanted to accomplish in life.

But it is really that easy to say? What if I became a parent, and now so much of what I wanted to do I couldn’t? Does that mean I have to completely give up everything? Well, yes and no at the same time. Because yes, you do have to give up a lot when you start having children. But I also think that is your obligation to make sure your children have someone that they can look up to as well. Meaning, your outlook on life will ultimately effect the way your children see the world. I have always been curious about the world that we live in because my mother has had such an open worldly viewpoint. We didn’t just watch a bunch of nonsense as children growing up in her household. We would go to the library, watch the History channel, Discovery Channel, and National Geographic. She would open us up to new things and people different than ourselves.

So for me, every time I start a new project I think about my mother. She was not able to do so much, I do things for that reason. Not that reason alone, but it always sits in the back of my mind. See, it’s easy for me to look at life in the scope of not having to care for anybody but me. I am single with no children, so the sky is the limit. But at one point in time, those people with others they have to look out for, such as their children, were in my current position. But, is it always about children? You have adults taking care of other adults as well. Which is something I am not doing as well. I receive aid from home because I am making strides in my life. But caring for an able-bodied adult who does not want anything out of life, not my problem.

See, in the end, at times we give up our lives to aid people who might be sick, to a child, or because we think it makes us admirable to do so. I understand the children aspect because they didn’t ask to be brought into the world. But you going to work caring for adults who are just as capable of working is not your problem. They have to go out into the world and earn as well. To many people are putting lives of others over themselves when they shouldn’t. You have your immediate obligations which are your children, and parents; everyone else is not an immediate obligation. And it is on them to figure their own life out.


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SO SO CONCERNED: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO VESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES

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“Worrying about you is your only full-time job.”


In today’s society, the use of social media has put everyone in everyone else’s business. But why, why have we become so interested in what other people are doing. Why have we become so enamored with how others are living their lives? Part of it has to do with the nothing going on in our own lives and other aspects of it has to do with loving to get others in trouble. And that’s an interesting account of us; the getting each other in trouble. Because no matter if it’s a public figure or the average Joe. We love to catch people doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Where is all this coming from?

Well, when looking at it from the context of nothing going on in your life, that’s key. When you have goals and aspirations of your own, it’s virtually impossible to concern yourself with others. But when nothing much is going on in your own life, you have nothing but time. Because in today’s society working a 40 hour work week has become 30 – 35 hours per week. So now we have more free time than prior years. So what are you doing with that time? Are you utilizing that time to pursue anything? If not, what is your purpose in life? Just waking up to exist to the next day and then the next day is not a way to live. But for the people who have nothing but time, this is how they live their lives.

Which leads into my next reason as to why people are so concerned. They see that someone else’s life is much more interesting than their own. Because if you’re constantly working on something, your life is appealing to those that aren’t doing much of anything. For example, I am working toward a career as a filmmaker, author, and blogger. People look at that and feel your life is quite interesting. To you, it is a struggle, but to them it’s something to talk about. No matter how positive or even negative, it’s something to discuss. But a lot of times today, it’s not positive feedback, but the negative. So much negativity is leant out to those who are in what people who perceive as a better position.

An example would be the Kardashian-Jenner sisters. So many people have so much to say about them. Yet their lives are progressing forward and the people who hate their lives don’t change at all. You’re concerning yourself with sisters whose lives are in a position far beyond yourself. You should be working at trying to remove yourself from your bad situation. But they for some reason cannot see past what someone else has in life. What’s interesting is that the same energy placed on worrying about others should be put into your own life. Because that same energy is what that person you’re worried about is putting into their work. But you can’t make the people who hate see that for themselves.

In the end, we have become a society of voyeurs. This voyeuristic behavior has cost people jobs and relationships. Now, I don’t see it slowing down, especially with the increase in social media usage. But eventually, so many people will be snooping that finding out something about another person will be irrelevant. Worrying about other people will always render the same outcome. And that outcome will be people wasting their lives concerned with others. But if your life is heading in the right direction, you have no time to concern yourself with what others are doing.


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I’MPERFECTIONS: CAPITALIZING OFF OF YOUR WEAKNESS

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“Is your strength convertible into a strength?”


We all have them, and it is usually our Achilles heel. And what is that kink in our system, it’s a weakness. That’s right, we all have a weakness that makes us who we are in life. But, is there any way that one can take that weakness and flip it around into a strength. I look at my life with strengths that I have as well as weaknesses. Could I potentially use some of those weaknesses as a strength; possibly? What are some examples of strengths in a person’s life that can come from previously being a weakness?

One example of a strength that comes from a weakness is kindness. You wouldn’t think that could be seen as weakness. But it is used against people all the time in society. But how can you make that a strength? Well, if you are an overly kind person, you’re more likely to be compassionate. You would fit well in a career where people are down on their luck and could use a helping hand. You’re able to connect with someone on a level from a nonjudgmental place.  The last thing that person needs is someone looking down on them because of their position in life.

Another weakness is someone who is a procrastinator in life. For whatever reason for being this type of person, you have this as a personal trait. But how do you make this into a strength. People who are procrastinators put things off, usually until the last minute. To make this into a strength, first figure out why you procrastinate. Usually people do so because they are afraid of the outcome of their work or they don’t know how to move on to the next thing. So they just linger on with what they are doing now. This is something I have been known to do in my own life. But, while you procrastinate, you get time to think about the importance of what it is you’re pursuing in life. You procrastinate because whatever you’re doing, it is not important to you. Because if it was, you would get things done. This thinking makes you access your life. And it makes you see if what you want you really want.

You see, in the end, things can flip to be in your favor. It’s all about how much you are willing to put into the flip. Just always remember that your life is whatever you make it. You create your own luck in life.


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Oops Mom and Dad, Sorry To Disappoint

Graduate from high school, go to college, spend four years trying to figure out what to do. Leave college get a job while working on your Masters Degree. Attain your degree, try to get a better job afterward. Settle into a job, wake up early in the A.M., get to work by 9:00 A.M. Work until your lunch break at 12:00 P.M. Come back form your lunch break, work until 5:00 P.M., then come home. Cook dinner, go to sleep; do this for five days per week. Wake up on Saturday and lounge around, or do shopping. On Sunday, go to church, leave service and go out to eat. Come home and rest until it’s time for you to go to sleep. You do this from your mid/late 20’s until you retire at age 65 years of age. Once you retire spend your days sitting in a rocking chair and then you die. You are expected to live like this and if you don’t, you’re considered irresponsible. But to me, I felt this was not how I want to live my life. I am embarking on my journey of prosperity as well as happiness. I wonder how may people are happy living their day-to-day existence.

My life is something different and sets me aside from the norm. I did all the things up until the point except after undergraduate school, putting myself on a collision course with another path. I graduated high school, went off to undergraduate school, but veered off course once I got to graduate school. Entering graduate school pursuing my MBA, I was still up in the air regarding my future. Finishing my first screenplay during this time period while going on job interviews made me realize my true passion. Filmmaking made me understand this is where I belong as well as writing my books. It gave me the ability to do something that I could not do on a daily job; and that was being honest and open. When you work a day, there is so much censorship that you don’t worry about being an independent writer. You are expected to put on a suit and tie, and conform to the control of a supervisor; who by the way has the freedom you are restricted form having. That freedom they have and control over your life made me realize the construct I would have to work within. It has nothing to do with real structure, but more about a few individuals having a position of control over the majority. And if you even question something you disagree with, you are reprimanded for insubordination for the questioning.

So what do parents have to do with all of this; simple, following your passion is highly discouraged. Parents want their children to go to school, get out, shut up, follow the status quo, get your pay check, and go home. But when you are unhappy regarding your situation, they are puzzled. Everyone expects you to fall in line, but can’t figure out why it’s so depressing. Unlike most, I have decided to follow my passion: filmmaking, writing novels, and photography. You would think people who be behind you, but you receive more discouragement than encouragement. What’s shocking is that your are not hanging around doing nothing, yet you are looked at as some young person wasting your life. Stepping out and creating a career rather than taking a job is seen as some sort of let down. You have not chosen the road most take and because of that you have failed; failed your parents, your family, your friends, and society. How come no one sees your vision? Why is it seen as a waste of life? Because people assume they can’t do it so you can’t, or the difficulty is such that most fail and few succeed.

The reason for the most part that parents are resistant is because taking a job is an easier way out. There is not only a plan, but a process from school to work to retirement. “Play life safe,” they tell you. The only problem with this, is that playing life safe won’t lead to satisfaction in life nor will it lead to higher returns in your career. It’s tough coming from parents because that is what they are suppose to do. It’s their job to be that overbearing because they have been through the greater portion of life. They know what comes with entering the world and what will be expected of you. What’s funny about all of this I have explained, is that in the end, they respect you more when you carve out your future. It’s confusing because not listening to your parents is a sign of disobedience, yet you have to veer off from their guidance sometimes. Why, well they are not living this life, you are. You have to do what makes you happy because your happiness is key to your stability both financially and economically. Trust me, when do succeed at what it is you’re pursuing, they will respect you more. They will know that what you have talked up is not just some pipe dream, but yet a future you have so diligently worked at. And for that they will say I am proud of you.