WHAT ARE YOU DOING, I’M DOING NOTHING: HOW TO NOT LET OTHERS SUCCESS DISTRACT YOU

“Worry about yourself.”


career pursuit

There is no real road map to success. And if there were a lot more people would be where they want to be in life. Problem is, the road to success is paved by you and only you. People can give you advice, but it’s ultimately up to you in how you use that information. Yet along the path to success we can’t help ourselves sometimes. We have to look at others lives and compare ourselves to them based on where we are at in life. Because everyone else’s lives seem to be so much more than what we are doing. And a lot of times we base this on social media. Someone post a photo on vacation while we are struggling, we assume their lives are great.

you do you

As I said before about comparing yourself, you have to focus in on your life. Because you can’t based where you’re at on someone else. Because you don’t know how long they’ve been working to get to where they are in life. We only see the now, we don’t see all the time put in; only the person sees that. And what happens when you are so focused on them, you lose the sight of what you need to be doing. And once you lose your focus, then it becomes easier for you to waste time, and now years have gone by. And what you could have been, you’re not.

for show or for real

When we see other people live their lives, is it all its cracked up to be? We make assumptions and don’t know the real life struggle. Their are people in life I found out were terminal, and smiled through all their photos. So what does living the life really mean? So all you can do is focus on your career moves. Just seeing someone in a suit and tie doesn’t mean much. A lot of jobs I had in a suit and tie were not white collar gigs. But many jobs I had were usher type of positions. I was also on my way to an interview dressed nice. So know and understand when something is real or fake. But me on my way to an interview is not a facade. Now if I post a photo on Instagram in a suit and tie holding a bottle of Dom Perignon, that is fake. And people at times buy into the context of the photo.  So find your place in life and persevere.


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GOING BACK HOME MIGHT NOT BE WORTH THE VISIT: HOW HATE IS DEEPER WHERE YOU’RE FROM THAN WHERE YOU LIVE NOW

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“Hey city, where is the support?”


The photo above is of my city; that’s right, my home town. The name of this small place is Racine, Wisconsin. Population 78,000; with that good ole Midwest feel. But this is not really about my small town. This topic is actually about any small town or even big city. Why, well the reason being that it’s hard to gain love and support from your home town at times. And you would think that your town or city is the happiest to see you doing well. But not necessarily so; sure you’re going to have the people who love you. But there are still so many people that don’t like you as well. I remember a former NBA basketball player by name of Caron Butler who is from our city would drive through during off season. No he still plays a role in the community, but that’s not the problem.

You see, the real problem is the people who remember what he used to be. When Caron was a youth, he found himself wrapped-up in the narcotics world. A world where at every step you could lose your life. But he managed to come out on top and land a college scholarship playing basketball at the University of Connecticut. After that, he was drafted in the first round by the Miami Heat, and was consistently showing his face in Racine, Wisconsin. Now, as a young boy in middle school, I was like, “Wow, this dude who is an All-Star came not only from my city, but grew up in my same neighborhood; and the same street. But with all the adulation came the people who show less love than the people who are out-of-towners. People from out of town respect his rise from the streets to the NBA. But the guys who didn’t make it out the streets, frowned and didn’t show love.

And that’s when it dawned on me, people that hate the most where you’re from remember a different you. But most of all, you remind them of the time they have wasted here on Earth. Your success is confirmation what they could have been. Since they didn’t want to listen, or put in the time, they now walk around angry. But you can’t be angry at anyone but yourself. Can’t blame a guy like Caron because he said to himself, “This life ain’t for me,” and removed himself from the streets. Yet it does not sink into the people’s head where you come from. When someone not from your town succeed, you can almost dismiss their grind as luck or they had something handed to them. But a guy who grew up with you hanging on the same block is impossible to ignore. And that’s when the taste of sour grapes sets into their mouths.

In the end, own up to your own mistakes in life. Don’t let life pass you by, then get angry once someone has made the appropriate adjustments to their lives. I will never understand why there is this feeling of someone’s success is someone else’s failure. I’m proud when I see people coming from nothing doing well in life. Because it could have just easily gone in the opposite direction.


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SO SO CONCERNED: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO VESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES

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“Worrying about you is your only full-time job.”


In today’s society, the use of social media has put everyone in everyone else’s business. But why, why have we become so interested in what other people are doing. Why have we become so enamored with how others are living their lives? Part of it has to do with the nothing going on in our own lives and other aspects of it has to do with loving to get others in trouble. And that’s an interesting account of us; the getting each other in trouble. Because no matter if it’s a public figure or the average Joe. We love to catch people doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Where is all this coming from?

Well, when looking at it from the context of nothing going on in your life, that’s key. When you have goals and aspirations of your own, it’s virtually impossible to concern yourself with others. But when nothing much is going on in your own life, you have nothing but time. Because in today’s society working a 40 hour work week has become 30 – 35 hours per week. So now we have more free time than prior years. So what are you doing with that time? Are you utilizing that time to pursue anything? If not, what is your purpose in life? Just waking up to exist to the next day and then the next day is not a way to live. But for the people who have nothing but time, this is how they live their lives.

Which leads into my next reason as to why people are so concerned. They see that someone else’s life is much more interesting than their own. Because if you’re constantly working on something, your life is appealing to those that aren’t doing much of anything. For example, I am working toward a career as a filmmaker, author, and blogger. People look at that and feel your life is quite interesting. To you, it is a struggle, but to them it’s something to talk about. No matter how positive or even negative, it’s something to discuss. But a lot of times today, it’s not positive feedback, but the negative. So much negativity is leant out to those who are in what people who perceive as a better position.

An example would be the Kardashian-Jenner sisters. So many people have so much to say about them. Yet their lives are progressing forward and the people who hate their lives don’t change at all. You’re concerning yourself with sisters whose lives are in a position far beyond yourself. You should be working at trying to remove yourself from your bad situation. But they for some reason cannot see past what someone else has in life. What’s interesting is that the same energy placed on worrying about others should be put into your own life. Because that same energy is what that person you’re worried about is putting into their work. But you can’t make the people who hate see that for themselves.

In the end, we have become a society of voyeurs. This voyeuristic behavior has cost people jobs and relationships. Now, I don’t see it slowing down, especially with the increase in social media usage. But eventually, so many people will be snooping that finding out something about another person will be irrelevant. Worrying about other people will always render the same outcome. And that outcome will be people wasting their lives concerned with others. But if your life is heading in the right direction, you have no time to concern yourself with what others are doing.


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POINTING THE FINGER: WHY WE PENALIZE THOSE WHO TALK LIKE US

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“We love to point, but no one owns their own stuff.”


In today’s society, more and more, we are finding that people love to play the blame game. We love pointing fingers and chastising others for the language that they use. What’s crazy is that we use the same language and will find any excuse as to why we should and others shouldn’t. And to add to it, we have become a very dishonest nation. But where does it come from because it’s not like we’ve been great for so long and now all of a sudden we’re this sensitive of a country. In my opinion, a lot of it has to do with the availability of technology in our society.

Well, what does technology have to do with people pointing the finger. Because we are so connected and not just domestic, but internationally. The local news and major news outlets are no longer the only medium in getting live up to date coverage. Facebook live and YouTube allows the ability to view live real time events. So CNN, FOX, and MSNBC, along with ABC, CBS, and NBC, are all no longer channels we have to get our news from to track a story. But along with that tracking of coverage, we also have the social sites where everyone can have an opinion about anything and anyone. And if enough people come together as a collective, you forge ahead and push an agenda.

Now the only problem with pushing an agenda is that every agenda shouldn’t be the agenda a group is focused on. For instance, comedian and color commentator Bill Maher recently told a joke that was considered racially charged and insensitive toward African Americans. Meanwhile our current Secretary of Education Betsy DeVoe is trying to push a choice program that she was constantly asked will students be discriminated against. And time and time again she worded it in a way that would give districts the ability to deal with that matter. Meaning, discrimination could exist, but the government is not involved, which could lead to a Jim Crow atmosphere. What does this have to do with Bill Maher and agendas. That agenda is way bigger than what he stated, and it’s longer lasting.

Another example of the pointing fingers is how we look at celebrities and say they are public figures. They should not talk a certain way. True, but it also applies to you as well as the average person. Meaning, you shouldn’t say it or do it, but they really shouldn’t say or do it. But you’re both in an obligatory situation to carry responsibilities in society. Yet too often we use the public figure excuse as an undermining means to get away with our own ignorance. And it’s a shit hill, where everyone is getting shitty, but we point at other people’s shit. So celebrities say Trump is president, he shouldn’t talk a certain way because of his position. And you ask them about the language and actions in their environment. They immediately shut it down by saying he’s president. Yet average Joe’s make the same argument against them as it pertains to social responsibility.

My theory on this in society is that people are dissatisfied with life. They want to feel a sense of power, so they try to use your position against you. But when you say all people say this or do this, they never say that those people shouldn’t either. They say things like, “But you’re a public figure.” And there lies the weaseling your way out of responsibility. And the reason I say quality of life is because most of these feelings are not real. It’s just that if you are in a higher position and I am so low, then people think that constitutes being awful, since the successful person has more than them. And if they had to live by the same rules on top of being less successful, their lack of accomplishments are further magnified.

In the end, pointing will never go away. It’s only when the person doing the pointing get themselves into trouble. Then, they are quickly on the defensive about who does the same things in addition to themselves. The overall hypocrisy is what’s sickening. Have a standard that yes, people at certain levels shouldn’t do, but it’s still and action no one should do. Meaning I shouldn’t rape, but Trump really shouldn’t rape, yet neither one of us should conduct in rape against a woman.


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