WE CAN DO IT: WHY YOUNG GIRLS AREN’T PUSHED LIKE THE BOYS

People Sitting Beside Brown Wooden Desk Near Flat Screen Tv

“Encourage them young.”


when they’re young

For some reason, we don’t push girls in school like we do the boys. And for that reason, I think that boys are way more prepared than girls are when it comes to entering life. That doesn’t mean that girls are not capable, but we don’t push them out there like boys. We encourage them to lay in the cut and take orders rather than make decisions. They are told to be lady like and remain quiet. This can stunt a person’s growth considering you have to be willing to stand out and stand up in order to be heard. And if you don’t, what is that saying again, “A closed mouth don’t get fed.”

we cripple them

“Oh come on, you should be doing something less difficult.” I have heard these words told to girls growing up. “You’re so pretty, get yourself a rich man and let him take care of you.” We don’t tell young boys this same thing because we want and expect our young boys to stand out and be great. So there is no leaning in for boys because it’s what you’re supposed to do your whole life. As for the girls, you should be more silent and docile. And that will get you nowhere in life. We act as if girls are fragile little creatures who can’t fend for themselves. And when they try and fail we say, “I told you so.” “Stop trying to be like the boys.” But failure is the only way to become successful in life.

biology is not society

Men are the greater physically and that means when dealing with us women have had to be thinkers as a creature. Which means women are in better alignment to learn when placed in academia than we are as guys. But when a young girl is told at a young age or not encouraged she now as to catch up to the opposite gender that she was born to be ahead of initially. So society has norms that cripples the mind of a biological creature that has been given the awareness to exist at times better. I am not saying women are better, we just have our skill sets. And when it comes to thinking out of a situation, women have to in nature. It’s not that much of a jump in school and in career.


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RAPE CULTURE: IS THIS A REAL ISSUE?

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“No still means yes, really?”


against her will

For eons, women have had to bare the grunt of being subjugated to sexual assault. Whether it’s on a job or even in their home lives; women have been targets for many sexual attacks. But what my question would be is if there is a real culture based around the idea that rape is alright to a certain extent. Because as men, we have an idea for what rape would be in our mind, but in a woman’s mind it could mean something different. Because to a woman, even if she thinks rape it can constitute as rape; which is a slippery slope when you’re a guy. But I am not even fully referring to that, I’m talking about a different type of culture in the mind of a woman.

playful assault

To a woman, when you’re being playful, she might be a little uncomfortable. You might be thinking, “Oh this is just fine, she’s just overreacting.” For example, walking up behind a female and giving her a hug when you are not in a relationship or close friends. That could be seen as uncomfortable and that woman could go into a space. She could go to a place in her mind that makes her feel violated. Now, if she is into you, then she may let it slide. That can be a tricky situation that you have to feel out, but can also put you in a position to make her feel uncomfortable as well. That’s why when you’re on a job, you have to be sure that you are not coming off as someone putting a woman in a weird situation. So when in doubt, be professional.

what is rape really?

Men in Hollywood over the past year have been losing their careers because of their sexual assault allegations from their female counterparts. Some cases have been force and others have been methods of coercion. But to a man, rape is holding a woman down against her will, and raping her. It is the way we have been taught rape is in our lives. No, no; rape if not sexual assault is trying to get a woman to sleep with you as a coworker where you’re above her in a position of power. She might sleep with you out of fear of losing her job, which can lead to you being in a situation. Sexual assaults can also be seen as a guy at a bar who won’t stop trying to get your phone number.

signs

So what are the signs if you’re a guy of rape from a woman. It used to be force, or of course underage sexual contact. But now in today’s society, the lines seem to be blurred. And when you look in in the history of society, we have cultivated this environment that have made it difficult for women to exist without having to watch her back. And biologically, women are less physically built than men, so they are already in a vulnerable position. But the only way this can be dealt with is through progress.


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SENSITIVITIES: A NATION OF PEOPLE WHO ARE EASILY HURT

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“New outrage spreading throughout America.”


outrage

In life, you’re always going to have this demographic of people who rage against everything. But in today’s society, now that people have the ability to build themselves a platform, more outcries are rampant. Everything you say, if not walked carefully through or thought out will land you into trouble. And it usually is the result of a politically correct question that is asked. But why do we care so much what someone else thinks. Behavior is one thing, or encouraging others to behave badly is troublesome as well. But we are attacking people just because we disagree.

real or fake

Now I wonder, how are people really over what they hear and see. Because I live in New York City, and as people go about their daily lives, they don’t talk about celebrities getting into trouble for what they say. So the outrage is real, but there is a bit of a distraction in the amount of people upset. For the most part, society just want things to go right, and only attach themselves to major problems. Like the 9/11 terrorists attacks made everyone in involved. And if you didn’t know any better you would think that the outrage over comments grip the country the same way. In reality it does not grip the country the same way. To be honest most people don’t know about today’s sensitive outrage; and if they do they don’t care. So is it real or is it fake?

 where did it come from

As you can see from the photo timeline above, the United States has dealt with an ugly past. And we have worked tirelessly to correct that past, but have we gone too far? Are we so ashamed of our ugly past that we start to go too far with the making up for bad times. Because instead of admitting what was done wrong and find ways to move on from there, we are going overboard to make up and it just does not feel genuine. Almost to the point when I hear the word diversity it becomes irritating to stomach. It’s like we’re saying the right things, but do we really mean what we say. Eventually, people are going to start to push back, and one example is the election of current president Donald Trump. We have become so sensitive of a country that his unapologetic persona has become somewhat of a breathe of fresh air for a chosen group of people. Our dishonesty has become so pervasive that his overt the top honesty feels good because it’s perceived to come from a real place.


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WORKPLACE MANNERS: HOW TO ACT TOWARD WOMEN WHILE AT WORK

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“Mind your manners.”


Over the past couple of months, more and more women have come out against men in the public eye with sexual harassment claims. Once the top man in the entertainment industry was brought down, Harvey Weinstein, there has been a constant barrage of women sharing their stories. You would think some of the men would say they were innocent, but all have been admitting to the behavior. So with that said, what types of standards must be further implemented in the workplace to insure that women are safe. And the reason that I say women is because the odds of men coming out in this fashion against the women are rare. As a matter of fact, men coming forward with stories is so rare because the workplace etiquette from women have traditionally been respectable. So what is it with this behavior that have lead so many of these men down this path?

Image result for matt lauerBecause just yesterday, television news correspondent Matt Lauer was fired from NBC for his sexual misconduct at work. And the problem is that a lot of these men come from a time period where so much of this bad behavior was commonplace. As a matter of fact, it was so commonplace, that women never even thought twice about the advances at work. But today, with so much changing in this digital era where information travels faster, you can’t be what  you used to be at the workplace with behavior towards women. That is not to assume that the women in the past were totally fine with the advances because a lot of them weren’t. They just had a hard enough time trying to secure employment, so they didn’t want to say anything that would have rocked the boat. See, I have a different means of approaching the situation when working with women at work.

Any job that I have had, usually involves me having very small talk with the women around me. Keeping everything very basic and very simple; with a hello, how are you, and then conducting my business as usual. It may come off as distant and antisocial, but when you see what has been transpiring in the news to public figures, I know I would be fired. But that type of atmosphere in itself is rather uncomfortable, yet you have to watch yourself. Because I know women who don’t mind being complemented at work when they look nice, but others meet the comments with disdain. And you are basically rolling the dice when you speak.So what is the proper workplace etiquette?

In the end, most women will tell you that they don’t come to work to be complemented. But there are women that feel a lot more comfortable around some men and not others. So the answer is Image result for women workplace flirtynot always being complemented, but whose giving the complement. And that in itself is a slippery slope. But the reality is that if the woman is uncomfortable, I don’t care if one guy makes her feel one way and one guy makes her feel the other way. The one guy that is making her uncomfortable must stop, not the one she’s fine with conversing. Sounds irritating if you’re a guy, but some men creep women out more than others.


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STOLEN AMBITION: WHAT IF THE WOMEN OF THE PAST COULD HAVE HAD THE OPTIONS OF TODAY

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“What little they had made way for a lot today.”


My mother was born in the year 1960, making her the last of the baby boom generation. This was the first generation where men were coming home from the war and suburbs were being built up all across the country. Mass marketing and advertising was introduced and the influence of entertainment was taking hold. Why was so much going on during this time period? Well, it was because this was an era of mass population growth in the United States. Jobs were in abundance and the men who came home from World War 2 were settling in and with their wives building large families. But there was something else that was prevalent during this time period. And that is the fight which was taken to the streets by women all across the country along with the civil rights movements. Women were expected to act a certain way at times outside the realm of their choice.

It makes you think that what if these women were born in today’s society. How much would they have been able to accomplish had they had that push that women have today? My mother recently showed me a photo of her when she was a teenager running track and field. A sport that I took part in myself at a young age. Only difference between me and her is that, not only am I a man, but the encouragement I received was different than her generations. Girls were told to “shut up” and “keep quiet” when expressing their goals and ambitions. Ambition was for the boys, and staying at home was for the girls. It makes you think; how many of those house wives back decades ago often dreamed when being at home all day. What were their dreams when they would be cleaning floors or preparing meals for the family.

These were thoughts I never got a chance to ask my grandmother or great grandmother that I could ask my mother. I would have loved to ask my great grandmother, before you married my great grandfather what did you dream about in life. Because women today don’t have all these goals and women in the past didn’t have them. It’s just that women were not expected to do anything in life. I was an adult when my grandmother died, I wish I could have asked her what were her goals as well. Just so I could get some clarity into what life was like living with all of this bundled up inside. Asking them what it was like to not be able to do what you wanted to do.

See, in the end, so many young women say there is still a lot of work to accomplish for the women of today. But in the past, they had it much worse, even with the good times. I guess that’s why I push so heavy at my goals because my mother never got her chance to shine like she wanted at a young age. So many women at that time had so much potential to be great, but greatness was not an option. And for the ones who stood out front despite the lack of encouragement, it gave way to so many today.


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KEEP QUIET AND KEEP WORKING: WHY WE PROTECT PEOPLE IN POWER WHO DO WRONG

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“Power can corrupt to be covered up.”


The photo above is of legendary film producer Harvey Weinstein. Weinstein has been in the news over the past week since the allegations of his sexual misconduct over the years emerged. Now that he has been removed the Weinstein Company, the conversations are starting. So many people are now saying that they knew something was up. Actresses are stating to now come out and share their stories. But, how come no one came out sooner? And it has a lot to do with having a position of power. A man like Weinstein is at the top of the heap in the entertainment business. So no one would dare come out and state how they genuinely felt. Only a chosen few have stated how they felt and the rest kept quiet. And now that he is ostracized, it’s in the books that we can all now talk about Harvey. So what is about power that keeps people quiet?

As children, we are raised to be honest and stand-up. Then once we become adults, all the rules go out the door. We find ourselves defending people that we would otherwise never defend. Because it’s easy to say that we are these stand-up people when there is nothing on the line. But in that space and time, it’s harder to go against the grain. And the higher the person sits on the totem pole, the harder it is to talk. So if you work a regular 9-5, and see misconduct you get nervous. But at this level you can anonymously give the name of the person/people involved. On the other hand, when looking at a company the size of Enron, you can understand why it’s a tougher go. But a woman did flip on Enron, yet ever since then, she has been a pariah in the financial sector, even though she is a hero to the masses.

Which is a main reason as well that people don’t talk and protect the ones in power. It’s also because when the time comes to testify, you will be ostracized later on. Why, well because so many people might be conducting the same type of business. So they applaud because they are happy it’s not them getting penalized. And in the end we all keep quiet when we see things happening. Because no one wants to feel the repercussions of being ousted for talking. So keep quiet, and keep your job; then talk if something is ever uncovered. It’s ugly, but that is the harsh reality of living in our society where power reigns supreme.


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DIVERSITY: ARE YOU REALLY OPEN AS YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Image result for DIVERSITY

“We are not as open you may might think?”


The topic of diversity today has recently been on the forefront of the fight toward equality in America. Everywhere you turn, you hear we need more diversity, we need more diversity. We need more representatives of people in varying ethnic groups. Then we say, well what about women of all ethnic groups. And you also hear, we need more representation from the LGBT community. And lastly, of course you have the religious side stating how much they need the freedom to worship how they please. But how much diversity does society really want? It sounds good to say we are all tolerant of another group of people. Yet, are we really tolerant, or is it just another buzz word that will eventually go away.

Let’s observe what it means to be diverse in America. That term diversity is ambiguous depending on who is formulating the opinion. If you are speaking with a liberal White female, the topic of gender is the diversity argument. If the person is an African American man or woman, then diversity might fall along the lines of ethnicity. If the person is gay, then there need to be more LGBT geared initiatives. And if you are Muslim, then religion is big on your list. But how far do people really want to stretch their diversity? We all have these open views until it’s time to make a few choices in life: dating, raising children, choices for college, and choosing what neighborhood to live.

For starters, let’s observe the dating scene. People always say diversity, then when choosing to date outside of their ethnicity, the diversity claim starts to come under question. When it comes to employment we jump for joy, but not dating. And I know we have become more relaxed to the idea today than the past, but don’t be fooled, it’s still a problem to a lot of people. If we’re going to talk diversity, why not go all the way. We just had Barack Obama, our former President of the United States, who was a product of a biracial relationship. Yet there are still have people who even voted for him, preaching diversity, would prefer their children marry within their own ethnicity. That hypocrisy is hard to understand. But does it only extend to dating.

No, when it comes to raising children we are complete opposite. We are these liberals, until they are born. Once children are born, then everyone of us becomes raging conservatives. Living here in New York City, there was a story on the news where parents in Brooklyn were worried where their children would be going to school. None of them were screaming, “Yes, our children will be in a diverse school.” They were shook by how their children would be effected going to school with kids from the inner city communities. But why not send your children to the school? Because they’ll get a real diverse experience: lower, middle, and upper class students. A kid from every ethnic background. Yet it’s tougher than that because reality set in, and you know how detrimental it is to send your child to a rough school.

Well, what about education, and I when I say education, I mean college. We really hear liberal views coming from college. But I have heard in the Black community the idea of maintaining the HBCUs (Historically Black Colleges and Universities). But if we are on the diversity wave, there is no use for the HBCU’s. Why, well, HBCU’s were for a time when Black kids could not attend predominantly White institutions. Now, we are able to enroll at schools where we were once rejected from. So, the HBCU’s are now failing because of the lack of enrollment. Meaning, if you are from California and want to go to college, you can attend UCLA, USC, Cal U, or Stanford. Why travel all the way across the country to the south when a state school is right there; and the damn good one at that. So, diversity opens the door, yet it closes others.

But there is still one more area where we preach diversity, and that is living arrangements. We all talk about living in diverse communities, yet cautious to actually move to them. Like I said before, I live in New York City, and there is diversity in The Bronx. But so many people don’t want to move there. As a matter of fact, these same open liberals. Why not, The Bronx and Harlem are very diverse communities. Yet, the energy of the environment has a lot of people nervous. Me, I like the neighborhoods, but I see the caution on so many faces. Faces that have attacked Trump for his comments, don’t want to live around certain groups in certain neighborhoods themselves.

You see, in the end, we all say the words, yet how many actually live that way. Diversity is one of those overused words in America today, but when we actually make a move, then people become irritated. As a matter of fact, some of the same people who push the agenda. I myself am not against diversity, my only opinion is people want you to believe when they don’t. I say be the example, and be the first to jump out there. Don’t just state a feeling, live it.


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