THE NEW W IS AN L: WHY AMERICA IS NOT BUILT ON WINNING ANYMORE

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“Victory-less!”


a nation of winners

America used to be a nation that pride ourselves on winning. Now, if you look at life with this winning mentality it’s treated like some sort of punishment. Maybe because someone else may not be as good as you, or the idea that we frown on people being on top too long. But for some reason we support the losing more than we do the winning.

If you look at sports, which has put America at the top for do long, we now have to look at other nations that teach the winning mentality we once had, to their children. Now you have countries like Russia, Jamaica, Spain, and even Image result for jamaica sportssmall Eastern European countries pushing themselves past us in sports. Well, how did it start?

the fall

The reason why so much of American winning has fell off is because we have reached this point where all the losers stop wanting to win. And almost operate like they formed their own coalition and are now going after anyone that is perceived to be winning. So much so that companies are now backing people and marketing them as independent to make money.

Because when people see you as a winner they shy away because in their minds you don’t need any further help. And we reached this point not just because of the coalition, but not wanting to continue to rise to the occasion. It’s one thing to win, but staying on top is harder than winning. Anyone can get the “W” but can you hold that spot. So what happened is people got lazy.

is it what it seems

The below photo is of the New York City citizens going to and from trains underground at Penn Station. And when I look at these people, I don’t losers. I don’t see a group of people who want things handed to them. I see go getters, I see hustlers, I seeRelated image hungry Americans. And that’s when it dawns on me that the society we live in is not prided on losing today. We just have this really loud losing bunch and the rest are silent winners. And we have folded to the pressure of the losers’ voices. So in order to capture that winning spirit once again, we must speak up and speak out against the coalition formed that make our children believe mediocrity is the key to prosperity.


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GARY V EFFECT: HOW ENTREPRENEURSHIP HAS GROWN IN POPULARITY IN RECENT YEARS

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“What’s hustle to you?”


The above animation is of CEO of Vayner Media Gary Vaynerchuk. He gained wide popularity over the internet for his Daily V and many other web content over YouTube. And since the launch of his popularity he has since been seen as a motivational speaker. Even though he doesn’t look at himself as motivational speaker, he has inspired a wide range of people to embark on their own business endeavors. His famous quotes are known throughout the web whether it’s him telling people to, “Get shit done,” or “Don’t watch three seasons of Lost, and then wonder why nothing is happening in your life.” Now, to be clear, Gary V is not the first person to motivate people to be entrepreneurs, yet he is one of the most popular.

What is it about what Gary says to people that resonates so deeply? Well, the most obvious reason he resonates with people is because of his success. He has taken people on a journey through his life as he has become successful over the years. It’s quite inspirational when you can look at a person’s transformation over the years and actually have video content to track the person. We always say that people had an easy ride, but when you can see the climb it makes that person much more appealing. But there is no success without the work put into the climb. And that is what brings me to my next reason why people connect to Gary.

He gives it to people straight, in a way that everyone can understand. Usually, people who give advice give these very generic answers. Answers that don’t have much substance. Or if they do have substance it requires you to buy their book or attend their seminar. Receiving free content that gives an insight into the world from a person who has taken the leap of faith into society is well worth listening to. So what is it; what has made people lean in the direction toward entrepreneurship? There are a few reasons as to why this could be happening in our society.

For starters, there are so many people in the world who hate their jobs. They wish they could be doing anything other than what they are doing at the moment. So opening a side business to make a little money outside of the daily grind is worth it. But mainly people have become attracted to entrepreneurship because the state of employment has shifted. So many people are out of work, and for those working you’re still barely able to sustain financially. Unlike the past generations, the millennial generation and beyond won’t work a job for 30 plus years and retire in that same place. In America today, working the same job for five years is a stretch.

So in the end, the allure of being an entrepreneur has people ready to dive right in. The only downside, is that most don’t have the stomach to deal with the adversity or daily fight of trying to make a living from absolutely nothing. Truth is, most will give up within their first year of pursuing. In the words of Gary V, “Most people are wired to lose and conform.” That’s life, and it will always be that way. But for the few who can stomach the grind, they make out on top financially and in happiness.


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PARENTING: IS THERE A RIGHT WAY TO DO SO?

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“What is your style?”


Every parent, especially successful parents all have a style in which they raise their children. But no one has the best definition for how to parent their children. Some parents use the military style and others use a more lax form. From a household that comprises of a list of chores to a make your own decisions style. I myself was raised a little bit in the middle as it pertained to my mother’s style. She gave us strict rules to follow, yet also gave us freedom to make our own decisions as well. There were people who saw us as sheltered because they only saw the rules and others felt like we had so much freedom because of the openness of our household. But is there a right way to parent?

Some people feel that the lax way is giving your kid too much room. You let them make their own decisions and they’ll make the wrong decisions. This is why it’s your job to make the decisions for them. They don’t know what good decision making is, that’s your job. You point and their job is to go to wherever you point. When you say jump they shouldn’t say how high, they should already being in the process of jumping before the word jump leaves your mouth. These are the authoritarian parents who stand for no nonsense. They are the Tiger Moms who demand high academics and little to no fun activities. These parents feel that it builds a sense of responsibility and self control.

Now on the other hand, you have the parents who feel that a relax environment builds more character. They encourage creativity and self exploration. These parents want their children to grow up and choose to go on their own paths in life. A parent picking their children’s career, would be considered too invasive for these styles of parents. So testing the waters is more of their style. Let your kid make their own decisions and take the bumps and bruises early on in life. They will learn from these mistakes as well as you teaching them along the way.

Then, the third style of parents that are the middle people. And I think for the most part, a lot of parents are these types. They give their kids rules and also a life of their own. Give them a curfew, but also let them stay sometimes out late with friends. They let their children choose what’s for dinner as long as it is agreed upon with the rest of the family. These are the parents who give their child say on the college to attend, so long as it falls into the realm of the family’s finances. In the end, no one can define what good parenting is, but there are similar traits good parents have. We can tell a lot of times really bad parenting. But as long as there is a bond between the parent and child, it’s no one else’s business how you raise them.

BALL AND CHAIN: GETTING RID OF THE DEADWEIGHT THAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP

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“Is someone holding you back”


Are you being held down by someone that is your significant other? Do you feel like no matter how much you try to help them it seems to not do any good? Every attempt you try to make to aid them in their life backfires against you. You want them to be the best them they can possibly be, but it’s not enough. They are only bringing you down in the process and stopping your dreams from happening. This is the time you must let go of this ball and chain. Cut the person off because you can only true grow once you let them go. Well how do you know they are truly a ball and chain? They might actually need your help.

This is how you know a ball and chain. Let’s say someone you’re in a relationship with is at home. Meanwhile you’re out working while they sit in front of television set. You want them to have the passion to do so much, yet they don’t have the same fight as you. You keep staying with them because you think it’s the right thing to do. But you only cut your life short by keeping them around. This is where you have to let go and allow them to have their own lives. Staying in the situation only hinders you from growing. Well why, why do we work so hard to satisfy those who serve us no real purpose.

For two reasons, the obvious is that we want to help. We want to feel like we’re accomplishing something by being in the lives of people who need our help. We look at our own lives and say to ourselves, “Here by his grace is I.” We go it could easily be me. So I should be thankful. The other reason we intervene is because we like the people having to depend on us; the leaches. There are people in the world who know that they are being leached off of, but like the leaches. They like someone having to extend their hand and asks them for stuff.

In the end, allowing someone the opportunity to live off of you not only hurts you, but them as well. It does not make you better by staying with them. If anything you should be the first person to tell the person when something is wrong. See, we all want to  help people around us. But we don’t quite understand how to do so. So we allow them to hang around; hang around until we can’t take it anymore. And then and only then will we have enough and remove these people from our lives.

MY MONEY, MY RULES: HOW PARENTS USE FINANCES TO DICTATE THEIR CHILDREN’S FUTURE

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“Are you a hostage to your parent’s wallet?”

Do you or someone you know have a parent that have told them that if you don’t pursue the career endeavor I want, you will not be receiving my financial support? I have heard parents tell this to their children. And the result of not pursuing what I want as a parent is either refusing to support your career choice or some parents have went as far as to kick you out of the will. The push for students having their career path chosen for them is more of a foreign decision than an American one. Yet there are families here in the United States who carry this same ideology. Luckily for me, I didn’t grow up in this sort of household.

You see, for me, my mother always encouraged me to pursue what could not only make me successful, but something that I loved. She not once told me nor my sisters that if we didn’t pursue what she wanted, she would not be there for us. That freedom to know that whatever career endeavor I chose she would be behind me, is what I needed. Yet, I wish more kids had that type of moral support in their lives. So, when I told my mother I wanted to pursue a career as a writer, she was right behind me. But why aren’t more parents behind their children’s plans.

For starters, parents don’t take their children serious. There is a lot of work that must be put into being what you want to be in life. Parents feel they should steer their children in the right direction because their kids can not be taken serious. For instance, a kid tells their parent/s they want to be an archaeologist. Now archaeologist don’t make that much of an income, so you have to really be passionate about being one. Parents look at their children and go, “You’re not serious about this.” And a lot of times they’re right. They know you’re not willing to put in the time and work. So, in order for them to respect you, they must see your progress.

Now, there is another aspect of parenting when it comes to their children choosing their goals in life. And that is that parents don’t want to fund something that is not a good enough return on their investment. Children are an investment and when you put your life into them and they throw it away, it becomes angering. They think to themselves, if I put this much into you, I hope to get this much back for you. Meaning, it can cost $1 million believe it or not to raise a kid from age 0 (at birth) – 25/26 years old when they graduate college in graduate school. So pursuing acting, writing, singing, dance, sculpting, archaeology, etc. that has to do with the arts and/or humanities is seen by parents as a waste of time. They want you to pursue a career in law, business, engineering, or medicine.

In the end, parents want to steer you because they think they know what’s best for you. But in reality, for them to force you into a career field not knowing if you possess a skill or desire is pure selfish. They are stripping you of an even better life. So in my opinion, if you want to go off and create your own future, you have to be willing to disobey your parents. Which is hard because most of us want to do what’s expected of us. But the only way to show your parents you’re serious is to stop receiving their help and build it yourself. Because ultimately, your parents want to respect to you. And nothing is more respectful than building your own future independent of them.