“Full wallet or full heart.”
All of us hope to have a fun and interesting job that we can go to everyday that will make us a lot of money. But is money alone the thing that keeps us coming to work everyday? What about the fulfillment you receive form walking into the building. Does that not mean anything? And that’s when you have to ask yourself the question of what is more important money or happiness? And yes, making money will afford you to do the things that you wanted to do for so long. So yes, there is this link between money and happiness. Yet, they can be separate as well.
You make over six figures a year, you shop, you go on vacations, and dine at fine restaurants. But there is still something missing about your job and that is the fact that you don’t like what you do. And for so many people, they ask how is this possible. They can’t understand why someone with so much money each year can’t like what they do. But it happens because either the job has ran its course, things become too redundant, or you don’t like the people you work with. So now you have this internal pain. But for a lot of people, they work jobs that they didn’t plan of working in life.
dough is important
Money isn’t everything, but it’s everything. And you don’t realize how important it is until you’re struggling to make ends meet. You learn really fast how much it matters when you don’t have it. It’s fine and all to have dreams and goals, but you have to be practical about your life. You don’t like your job and seek happiness, fine. But be able to sustain your current life or be prepared to downsize. And that is tough once you’ve grown accustomed to your life you have built. You might be an executive, but always had a passion for painting. A life as an artist might bring in average American income while that executive life could bring in deeper six figure money. So it’s fine to have what you love, but be prepared to make some serious financial adjustments.
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“Build yours or someone else’s.”
We all have these visions of the life we want. And for a lot of people, the dream is real. But what happens when you attain what you want, but then someone tries to make you feel like you should be doing more. They try to convince you that your life could be so much better. But if you allow them to invade your mind, then you can’t enjoy the satisfaction of what you initially wanted. And that’s what’s important; you living the best you that you can be. But why do people get in their minds that you should be doing what they want you to do? Part of it has to do with the idea that their opinion don’t matter and they want it to matter. And the other reason is to keep you from outshining them in what you do.
People want their opinions to matter. And when their opinions don’t matter, then you have to deal with their wrath. They get irritated at what you do, and feel that you should take their advice. They want you to be what they want you to be, and work how they feel you should be working. In their mind, they say, “Why isn’t this the way I like it.” And that has to do with the idea that people want you to succeed how they feel you should succeed. And when you’re doing things your way, outside the realm of what they think, then you’re breaking the rules. And rules is what they have been told to abide by. But the other reason people try to deter you from your dream is out of fear that you may surpass them.
The outshining aspect is, to a large degree, a big reason why people want you to take their cue. It will force you to grow at their pace. And it has a lot to do with the idea that if you make it quicker than it took them, then the road they took was for nothing. With that said, you have to do your best to remove yourself from these types of people.They are toxic and mean you no good. And not to mention these people will try to make you feel like you’re being disobedient by not listening to them. They’ll come up with every reason why you should be listening to them and not yourself. In the end, be able to distinguish those that are on your side from those that want you to fail. Follow your own drum beat, and don’t worry about others. You’ll make mistakes and hit a few roadblocks along the way, but hopefully you land on your feet.
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“It’s either I do, or I won’t continue.”
Women have always sought out to be wives. Even as young girls they are raised to find themselves a husband. They’re taught that you’re short changing yourself by settling for dating. But the things that women want pertaining to marriage are basic. So basic, do you really need marriage. Or was marriage designed and asked for, for different reasons other than the love. Because love is something you have which brought you to the marriage. There isn’t anymore, the love you have is the love you have. You’re not biologically this new person after you marry that you weren’t when you were not married. So what is it that you become? Can’t be about responsibility because you must be responsible prior to the marriage.
Marriage is the paperwork, not the love. What do I mean by the paperwork? Well, let’s first look at what marriage is in the first place. Marriage is the contractual obligation of bringing together of finances to assess if the relationship will last for the long term. Meaning, laying claims to assets in the case the relationship does not pan out. Which is a huge indicator into why women so desperately want to marry instead of dating. Women say it’s love or in the eyes of God, but it’s really in the event something happens to the man she can continue to live after he is gone. Now when I say live I don’t mean she is unemployed and he is the breadwinner. Even if she has a career along with him, her one income can not sustain the life of both when he was alive.
All of this makes sense considering woman would have to go through someone else if the man gets sick or dies. And what do I mean by going through someone else. I mean that if you and a man are not married you not considered in a lot of places next of kin; especially if he has siblings and/or parents alive. You may be put into a situation that they are able to dictate to you in the event something happens to him. You’re concerned with moving forward, while they are more concerned with a new man replacing their son or sibling. It could actually wind-up stalling your further progress in your own life.
So in the end, why don’t women just say what the real reason they want marriage is for; shame, that’s why. We shame women in society for being real in their intentions. We call them gold diggers for expressing what they want to marry for, a comfortable lifestyle. So they say love and compassion, yet you don’t need to marry for those reasons. We stigmatize them so much that they must now recontextualize what they want to fit into our male dynamics to make us happy. It’s why women make excuses of, “He may not have this and this, but he has this.” They lie about what they want because they don’t want to be judged on the truth. Yet they negatively effect our lives by manifesting what they lie about because they feel a moral obligation to please us in a male dominated environment.
“How do you fit in?”
Have you ever been on a job and got the feeling that everyone in the room has a script of some sort except for you? You’ve been through it, the boss tells a joke and the whole room ignites into laughter. That’s when you realize that nothing can possibly be that funny. But more so, not only is the boss not a funny guy, everyone has this script. How did everyone in the room know that it was time to laugh? How did everyone in the room know when you should stop? And how did everyone carry the same exact feel for funny. This is not a comedy show; people who attend stand up shows know that we are all here to see our favorite comedian so the laughter is normal. But your boss is not a professional stand-up, so why laugh?
To get ahead that’s why; you want to climb the ladder. Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that in order to climb the corporate ladder I have to laugh at my bosses stupid jokes. Or I can’t suggest an idea that could help a situation out of fear it may make the boss look incompetent. The culture in a place like that can make anyone not want to be there. Yet at a young age, children are encouraged to go work for an organization. Then once you learn the workplace dynamics, it makes you not want to be in the environment. That was my life; and for a brief moment, let me take you through my life.
As a middle school kid, I wanted to attend business school. I admired men who have been successful in business because of their out of work initiatives as well internal. But when I became an adult an realized what I would have to be to fit into that world, it made me realized it wasn’t worth it. I would much rather have a voice in my own space than to feel like I have to sacrifice my self respect and identity to have something. Now most people would say, “Who told you that?” No one told me that, you can feel it. When you’re allowed to see two men making a mistake, yet you only are able to chastise one of them, that’s why. When my days are spent trying to make you like me instead of connecting to people outside, when you want to control how I communicate with people, I am compromising far too much.
When I look at my life from age 12 to about 22 years of age, I feel sometimes like I threw it away. I grew up poor and didn’t realize the real environment so I had these unrealistic expectations working for an organization. Wanting a voice to express myself was the biggest career goal for me in life. Not having to filter every single word, while a guy at the top feels he can. Yet no man nor woman earns the right to have an opinion. Having an opinion is your choice, but working in certain environments people make you feel like it’s a privilege.
In the end, when you’re in an environment where you feel uncomfortable to the point you’re depressed being there, remove yourself. Don’t stay any longer because you’re not going to be happy. It’s crazy that since childhood we all have this idealistic way of looking at the world. Then we become adults and see it for what it really is. That’s not to say working for an organization is a bad thing. I just think that working for an organization is not for me. I would much rather have a career working independently making a little less money than to be in an organization working for more.