CLOSED EARS, CLOSED MIND: WHY HAVING MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVE IS RATIONAL

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“My view is view.”


Over the past year, we have had all been in debates, for the most part surrounding the election of President Donald Trump. But the problem is not just the constant debating, it’s also the fact that no one listens to multiple sides. For me at least, I watch not only CNN, but I also watch Fox News. I want to gain insight into both areas of politics, then make my decision somewhere in the middle. Or I make my decision based on who won that particular argument of the day. But you have so many people who look at life through this one lens, which is more harmful to themselves than to anyone else. If your life revolves around the people that think and talk like you, then you’re missing out. Missing out on what could actually make you a greater you. You probably are thinking to yourself, how so?

Well, for starters, if you have a multiple perspective, then you can gain a more worldly view. Meaning you are able to connect to those that are different than yourself. But you are also able to understand where someone is coming from. You still might not agree, but you know why they feel the way that they do. You could be a Democrat and I a Republican; yet if we are listening to each other, you can accomplish more. Because a successful civilization is not one that is perfect, but more so, one that is stable and optimal. We don’t need everyone agreeing on everything, but when no one is listening, then you start to lose rationale. And once rationale is lost, you can forget about trying to fix any problem you thought you were going to fix. Why, well at that point it is just straight emotion. Straight emotion never gets you anywhere in life. And how so?

Emotions are something of course we all have; I’m not enlightening you on anything when I say that. But the problem is that when we become too passionate about why we feel a certain way, we lose hold of practicality. So then we start making judgments when some of the very people we support fall under that category. And the reason we don’t see it is because we start to believe in our own bullshit so much so we don’t hear anyone else talking. And with shut ears and open hearts, you lose your argument. Also, this extra passion is a sign that you don’t have enough passion in your own life. Because it’s fine to be passionate, but too many people have too much passion to spare. And if you’re getting enough passion in your personal life, you shouldn’t have too too much to spare. Meaning, more passion in your personal life, you are more balanced out in your practical conversations with other people, not 100% guaranteed, yet still valid enough.

In the end, people have to block out multiple perspectives because you might hear something from the other side that forces you to give up your points. And no one wants to bend under any circumstance. Yet if all you do is shut out others’ thoughts and opinions, you’ll find yourself being taken down a rabbit hole the moment someone on your side breaks the rules. Now you have to think on a fly as to how to get out of the argument and defend your person. When all you had to do was open your mind, and you can keep yourself from being led down a lot of paths.


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CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM VS. OPINIONATED CONVERSATION: HOW TO GIVE ONE AND NOT THE OTHER

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“Know when you’re helping, know when you’re not.”


I love when someone brings insightfulness to me regarding something I am working on that could make my work better. Some bit of advice that I can take and run with toward the success that I want out of life. But there is a far cry between constructive criticism and someone giving some empty opinionated reason why they don’t like something you have done. There are skill that come with providing people with knowledge that is constructive. Meaning when you criticize, make sure you have a legitimate idea to make something better. Don’t just say I don’t like it. Otherwise, not only are you not helping, but you might make the situation worse.

Now, remember before I said there is a skill that comes with giving criticism. There is a way to approach telling someone that their idea is no good without telling them it’s no good. But remember also I said that you should provide a way to make it better. Meaning, let’s say you’re running a fast food restaurant, and you get two criticisms. The first person says the food sucked, and they had an awful time. This is not good enough insight into the restaurant. Then the other person say that my steak was not all the way cooked when I wanted it well done, and when I expressed my grievances the customer service showed little to no interest in aiding me. You see, one criticism is more direct than the other.

Now, here is another aspect of the criticism that is tricky to notice. There are people who will give you in depth criticism, yet it starts to play in the arena of petty. And these are the knick-picky people who will find any reasons to kill and idea. For example, they will do things like pick a word from a written piece of your material. Then they’re give a long drawn out excuse as to how you used the word in the wrong context. They’ll write this in a passive aggressive manner to undermine your accomplishments. Or, they’ll use big words that not even they use on a daily basis just to make themselves appear knowledgeable. So people can read with adulation, like, “Wow, they sure do have a base of vocabulary.

But, as I said earlier, there need to be a way to make things better. Even if you are a critic, you should have your criticism. But make sure to imply that it would have been great if  they would have done blank. Then you leave the possibility of the person reading and gaining some insight for the next time they are working on a project. People who don’t provide a way, even if the criticism is constructive, can quickly find themselves in the empty rhetoric category that is opinionated commentary. Learn to decipher between those that want to see you do better and those that could care less.

In the end, there are people who will always have something to say about your work. Whether it’s constructive or not, they’ll have something. And you just have to learn that it comes with the territory. Not everyone is going to like what you do. Some it’s about taste and preference and others it has to do with not liking you and your work. Whatever the case, believe in your own work and keep pushing forward. Yet, once you allow it to stifle your growth, then you have lost the fight.


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DIVERSITY: ARE YOU REALLY OPEN AS YOU THINK YOU ARE?

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“We are not as open you may might think?”


The topic of diversity today has recently been on the forefront of the fight toward equality in America. Everywhere you turn, you hear we need more diversity, we need more diversity. We need more representatives of people in varying ethnic groups. Then we say, well what about women of all ethnic groups. And you also hear, we need more representation from the LGBT community. And lastly, of course you have the religious side stating how much they need the freedom to worship how they please. But how much diversity does society really want? It sounds good to say we are all tolerant of another group of people. Yet, are we really tolerant, or is it just another buzz word that will eventually go away.

Let’s observe what it means to be diverse in America. That term diversity is ambiguous depending on who is formulating the opinion. If you are speaking with a liberal White female, the topic of gender is the diversity argument. If the person is an African American man or woman, then diversity might fall along the lines of ethnicity. If the person is gay, then there need to be more LGBT geared initiatives. And if you are Muslim, then religion is big on your list. But how far do people really want to stretch their diversity? We all have these open views until it’s time to make a few choices in life: dating, raising children, choices for college, and choosing what neighborhood to live.

For starters, let’s observe the dating scene. People always say diversity, then when choosing to date outside of their ethnicity, the diversity claim starts to come under question. When it comes to employment we jump for joy, but not dating. And I know we have become more relaxed to the idea today than the past, but don’t be fooled, it’s still a problem to a lot of people. If we’re going to talk diversity, why not go all the way. We just had Barack Obama, our former President of the United States, who was a product of a biracial relationship. Yet there are still have people who even voted for him, preaching diversity, would prefer their children marry within their own ethnicity. That hypocrisy is hard to understand. But does it only extend to dating.

No, when it comes to raising children we are complete opposite. We are these liberals, until they are born. Once children are born, then everyone of us becomes raging conservatives. Living here in New York City, there was a story on the news where parents in Brooklyn were worried where their children would be going to school. None of them were screaming, “Yes, our children will be in a diverse school.” They were shook by how their children would be effected going to school with kids from the inner city communities. But why not send your children to the school? Because they’ll get a real diverse experience: lower, middle, and upper class students. A kid from every ethnic background. Yet it’s tougher than that because reality set in, and you know how detrimental it is to send your child to a rough school.

Well, what about education, and I when I say education, I mean college. We really hear liberal views coming from college. But I have heard in the Black community the idea of maintaining the HBCUs (Historically Black Colleges and Universities). But if we are on the diversity wave, there is no use for the HBCU’s. Why, well, HBCU’s were for a time when Black kids could not attend predominantly White institutions. Now, we are able to enroll at schools where we were once rejected from. So, the HBCU’s are now failing because of the lack of enrollment. Meaning, if you are from California and want to go to college, you can attend UCLA, USC, Cal U, or Stanford. Why travel all the way across the country to the south when a state school is right there; and the damn good one at that. So, diversity opens the door, yet it closes others.

But there is still one more area where we preach diversity, and that is living arrangements. We all talk about living in diverse communities, yet cautious to actually move to them. Like I said before, I live in New York City, and there is diversity in The Bronx. But so many people don’t want to move there. As a matter of fact, these same open liberals. Why not, The Bronx and Harlem are very diverse communities. Yet, the energy of the environment has a lot of people nervous. Me, I like the neighborhoods, but I see the caution on so many faces. Faces that have attacked Trump for his comments, don’t want to live around certain groups in certain neighborhoods themselves.

You see, in the end, we all say the words, yet how many actually live that way. Diversity is one of those overused words in America today, but when we actually make a move, then people become irritated. As a matter of fact, some of the same people who push the agenda. I myself am not against diversity, my only opinion is people want you to believe when they don’t. I say be the example, and be the first to jump out there. Don’t just state a feeling, live it.


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LIVE AND LET GO

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“Hard to forgive, but easier to go through life.”

You ever have someone in your life do or say something that you feel you can not let go of. But why, why hold on to something for so long, especially if your life is going so well. Is it worth holding a grudge? There’s only a few things in life that may be seen as unapologetic. If someone takes the life of someone close to you, I understand the anger. But what about other things: your parent walk out of your life at a young, your significant other cheats on you, or someone close to you steals from you. Is any of these prior options worth not speaking to them for a lengthy period of time.

Let’s observe one of the prior options. What about if a parent walks out of your life at a young age? Depends on the situation. How about a boy? Is it harder for males to accept not having one of their parents not in their lives? Usually it’s the father not present in the child’s life. Could you as a male forgive not having your father? Let’s see what you miss out on: not being shown how to defend yourself, walk into society with confidence, change a tire, shave, or deal with rejection. These are typical things boys learn from their fathers. Can you say I forgive you?

How about a girl? Can you as a woman forgive your father for not being there? Fathers are suppose to protect their girls and show them an example of what men to choose to date in life. Or what about her loosing her mother? There is so much a girl need from her mother to learn about womanhood and femininity. How can her father show her how to be a woman, when he’s not one himself? He can aid in her being responsible, but not being a woman.

Well should a male and female forgive their parent? There is a lot of things you  miss out on not having them around. But some people have went on to become more successful by not having that parent. Or, you might later on meet that parent and realize, they shouldn’t have been in your life after all. You should be thanking them for not being there. As a boy, you might be forced to witness your father abuse your mother. Or as a girl, witness your father cheating on your mother. Maybe sometimes it’s the best.

Well, what about if someone cheats in a relationship? For men, can you take back a woman that cheated on you in a relationship? Women are always taking men back when dating. Why is it so hard for men to do the same? We say women are the ones who are emotional, but our reactions make us more emotional. How about women? Can you take him back if he cheats? A lot of women are able to take him back. But there are still those women who say absolutely not. Now, can either one of you forgive for the cheating. Even if the relationship ends, can you forgive? It’s hard to forgive because it requires checking your ego.

Now, what about forgiveness when someone steals from you? Taking possessions of yours can be just as bad, if worst than getting cheated on. Because generally when people are stealing from you, it’s someone close. If a stranger steals from you fine, but family and friends can create a bind in your relationship. So how do you go about saying I forgive you. Well, I guess it depends on what they took from you. If it was something small, it can be forgiven, but what about major things? What about money that could jeopardize your living day to day? This may be harder because your life is now at stake. Some people can say forgive and forget, and some say never forget or forgive.

In the end, a clear conscious is crucial in your own sustainability. Because when you hold on to things that someone has done, it festers. The longer it sits there, the more it eats away at you. Because all you can think about is how they hurt you. It’s easier said than done. But in time, hopefully you find it in your heart to say sorry. Because you never want to stay mad at someone over something meaningless and that person dies. And you never get the chance to squash any beefs.

THOUGHT

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“Are your thoughts your thoughts?”

“I think therefore I am.” “Your thoughts become reality.” “I believe this to be true therefore it is.” We as humans always want to feel that just because I think something is true makes it true. Now, this has a possibility of being true because like I said prior, your thoughts become reality. You think something, it becomes your process, then your action, and then it’s what your life becomes. Well, when does the thought become unreal? It becomes unreal once the thought blocks you from logical thinking.

What I mean by logical thinking is that we want to think that our belief systems mean something just because we believe it. The problem with this frame of thought is we don’t realize certain thoughts and feelings exist because things have been laid out for us in the past. And the past at times dictate the present. Meaning, 100 years from now, Gay marriage won’t be a topic of discussion. Why, well people will think they agree because it’s their thought, but won’t realize it was put in play 100 years ago. The same is for dating in certain age ranges. 100 years ago a 16 year old marrying a 30 year old man was normal. But today we frown on it not because we feel that way, we were born in a time where the laws changed.

With what has been said, why is it so hard for people to acknowledge the truth? People find it hard to do so because they can’t stomach the fact that their belief system means nothing. If what they believe means nothing, then what else is not true in their lives. Ultimately they have to live with the idea that their lives may have been a waste. This is fine if you are in your early adulthood; there is still time to change. But if you are toward the end of your life, then yes, your life may have not meant anything. So how does one keep this from happening?

You keep it from happening when you open up your mind to learning new things. Having new experiences in life on a consistent basis. Your learning will force you to challenge new thoughts and you gain new insight into the world around you. That is a major issue with the world is that we don’t like putting ourselves in the know. We reject so much new information because we get set in our ways. The problem with getting set in a way is that if there is any new information presented that is needed to replace the old and you are still on the old, you are left behind. Meaning it’s nearly impossible for you to function in the general population. This renders you obsolete in society.

So in closing, when your thoughts become reality, this can be good, so long as the thought align with rational thinking. The problem is we all think we are rational. We all feel that we have that one magic word which will change everyone’s mind. But it never quite pans out that way. But the thoughts we harbor can also be a killer if we retain thoughts that become antiquated. making it impossible to live in the world.